Forgive Me For Venting?

[moses]

Hello there ladies, it sure has been a while. I used to come here all the time and brag about my wonderful SO Christin. I even came here to announce our engagement:

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?109544-proposal-(as-in-marriage)&highlight=

Then she broke my heart by going online and offering herself to multiple men looking for a good time. She says it was all fantasy, that it was never more than email, and that even though she did arrange to meet with one of them she never actually went through with it. That was last July. I asked her not to wear her engagement ring after that day. Oh, we tried to get back together after that but it was never the same. We went to counseling, but it just seemed hollow. A few weeks ago, after being just friends for a while, she got upset with me for "flirting" with some gay men in a club and asked me to define our relationship. She told me that she wanted to "start over". I told her that after four years I didn't want to start over but rather that we either needed to come together, get some serious help to deal with what had already happened between us and decide to really be together (as in finally get married) or we needed to go our separate ways. After two days she sent me an email saying she couldn't commit to me and she'd rather we go our separate ways. I guess I should have known that she was never really committed to me to begin with. Thanks, as always, for listening.

[sandra-leigh]

Sounds like something worth venting over to me!

[Violetgray]

I agree with Sandra! I'm in MD too, I don't know how it is I've never met you two. Anyway, I'm sorry for your loss of such a beautiful thing that you had. I read the original post when you wrote it, and I was both touched and impressed that you were willing and able to do such a thing! I know it feels horrible now, but I think you'll live. And if I can be blunt and superficial just for a moment, someone with your looks probably won't have too much trouble finding someone. ESPECIALLY one of "us." If you do find someone new, you'll have to tell us all about it! or at least me! ;-)

[ReineD]

Oh Moses, I'm so sorry. :sad:

I'd move on too, if my fiancee offered herself up to other men after our engagement, even if it was only a fantasy.

Have you read, "He's Just Not That Into You (http://books.google.com/books?id=1fkNOnFBNFoC&printsec=frontcover&dq=he's+just+not+that+into+you+book&hl=en&ei=90aaTZPoFfCx0QGtmISADA&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=2&ved=0CEUQ6AEwAQ#v=onepage&q=he's%20just%20not%20that%20into%20you%20book&f=false)"?

I know the book title has the wrong gender for your situation, but all the principles are the same. You deserve so much better than this. You might also want to check this one out:

Women Who Love Too Much (http://books.google.com/books?id=M9U_uT6CS-kC&printsec=frontcover&dq=women+who+love+too+much&hl=en&ei=tkeaTb_RBbS00QHcgvGJDA&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=1&ved=0CDYQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&q&f=false)

:love:

[Kathi Lake]

Moses, I'm shocked, dude! Everything definitely looked like it was coming up roses for you two. I'm sorry she went off the deep end, and I'm sorry that you have been in limbo for this long. You definitely deserve to vent, and there is no need for an apology. Please let us know how we can help.

Kathi

[ReineD]

Moses, I see that Kathi referred to you as Dude. I was going by your profile pic when I suggested the "Women Who Love Too Much" book. If you're a transman, then my deepest apologies for the title of that book ... however, again the principles are the same no matter what gender someone is. The book is about people who are in one-sided relationships.

:hugs:

[Cynthia Anne]

I think you are one smart cookie! The way you handled the situation! At least your not tied down to someone you can't trust!

[Kelly DeWinter]

Moses

You are a very handsome,whitty and fun man. I say this because i've read your posts and know that you have done a lot make your relationship work. Investing 4 years in a relationship is a long time. I'm sorry for your loss and hope in time your heart will heal. Your friends here will allways be here if you need a shoulder. And yes real men cry too !

Kelly

[Babeba]

Oh, man... this SUCKS. I'm so sorry that things happened the way they did. No one deserves to have their lives trampled on like that, and I wish it hadn't happened to you. I'm also very proud/happy for you for sticking up for yourself and asking for a definite married/split decision - I'm sure it hurts now, but I also am sure that this was the best thing for you and your family in the long run.

Still - I'm so sorry for your loss.

[Huntress]

Moses,
Quite some rolly-coastee you've been on, since last I saw you. Oh yes, you are going to come out of this WAYYYY better off. To pin this down before matrimony is a true gift, even if it does not seem so now. Keep your head up and eyes on the prize. You are too hot to quench. So get the process completed and get back in the saddle.

De Oppresso Liber,
Huntress

[moses]

Hey everyone, thanks for all the comments. Just to clear up any confusion, I only ever put on the suit and tie when I went out with Christin. It was interesting to be her "ultimate accessory" although I knew I could never pass. The rest of the time I'm just plain Debbie. I guess this was part of the problem. Even though I dressed the part, I could never be a man telling her that she was a beautiful woman. All I wanted was her, and as you can probably tell, that feeling hasn't passed.