How much is "enough"?

[Kate Simmons]

Sometimes sitting here reading the various subjects on the threads I wonder to myself just how far is it necessary to go concerning CDing or feminine presentation until WE are satisfied with it. Some really push the "envelope" while others do the bare minimum. I guess the answer to this question is as varied and as individual as the members themselves. So, at what point do you feel that you have adequately expressed your feelings with regard to CDing?:)

[Marissa]

You are so correct in saying that the answers will be varied and that should not be a surprise. Its funny how some can give a response of what they feel is adequate for their expression of cding, and someone will come along to attempt to convince them to be 'true' to themselves, etc. So here is my view:

1. I mainly dress for the nightlife (dance clubs I guess).
2. Stay home, take and share pics, mainly with just this website.
3. Go out once/twice a month to support a meetup group or get that 'fix'.
4. Comment on others' pics and assist in tips if any.
5. Give advice/support on threads where I feel I can..warranted or not :heehee:

So you can see I'm not an activists holding up a sign for rights (even though I commend those that do), I am not trying to fit into the mainstream world or come out...not at this time. Most of my dressing is overdone such as a tad too much blush or too short a dress, but that is what I like and is okay for club scene. And I'm happy where I'm at.

So there it is :) Where I am and its adequate for me...for now ;)

Hugs,
Marissa

[Joanne f]

I seam to have hit a point wear i can`t express my cding to the extent that i need to some times to get this enough or fulfilled feeling , the androgyny is ok up to a point but it is like snacking all the time when sometimes you just crave for that big meal .

[christinac]

Not sure yet, still a work in progress. Like a friend from another forum once said "I'm a babe under construction".

[Cynthia Anne]

For me, I don't believe I can go far enough enough! I will never be the woman of my dreams! So I keep pushing the envelope!

[lauraabdl]

For me I do push the envolpe from time to time, but I try to stay within reason and age approiate clothing when out and about. I always keep the risque to the house and experment there, like going thru my early girl years, it fun and only for my learning, I think that missing our younger girl years robbed us of a lot of the fun of expermenting around with clothes and looks. So thats where I stand.

[Laurie A]

I fall on the bare minimum side, it is partly laziness and partly the realization that I just don't look good wearing a dress... I do vicariously enjoy reading about those who do "push the envelope", and I find a little satisfaction that way.

[Danni Renee]

I do not know myself as I keep pushing the envelope. Before I came out to anyway, I told myself if I just had once a month I would be okay. Then I came out to one person. I told myself (and her) I will be happy if I can just dress once a week, that is all. I next told myself if I just piereced my belly button, I will be satisfied. But as I started dressing once a week it transitioned into panties and night gowns every day. I am to the point where I dress almost every day, wear bras and panties even to work, and I still want more. I am not sure if I will ever find "enough".

[PretzelGirl]

I think it depends on where you are in your dressing (are you at your destination) and opportunity. The lack of opportunity depresses the ability to reach a goal and that shapes many. But for those not at their destination, it could easily be one of two things. First it could be that slippery slope where the changes and desires keep coming. But for some, it could be a fluctuation of feelings. Today throwing a top on may be good enough, but tomorrow the feelings for a full dress-up may come. So it certainly can be a moving target.

[Jilmac]

I think I'm there now. I don't ever intend to transition and about the only thing I haven't gotten good at is eye makeup, so I figuer I'm about as far as I want to go to express myself. Maybe the only thing left is to present myself younger.

[sissystephanie]

When I put on feminine garments I have very adequately expressed my feelings toward crossdressing!! Nothing else is needed!

[Lorileah]

I must have hit that wall. I tell myself I want to dress up, get all made up, be feminine, but then that dang TV gets turned on and I sit around just comfortable (no not sweats, a nice skirt and top usually) and I am content for that time.

I am too old and honestly too lazy to work or hope for anything more now.

[Anne2345]

That is a great question. As my CDing has evolved throughout the years, I too have pushed it further and further. What used to be enough is no longer enough. I am now pretty much at the point where there is very little left that I can do that would not draw unwanted attention from those in my community. For example, I would love to thin out and define my eyebrows more, have my ears pierced, etc. Although it saddens me when I think about it that I cannot do these things, overall I am quite content with where I am at. My wife is wonderfully supportive, which allows me certain freedoms in the home that others do not have, for which I am greatly appreciative of and do not take for granted. My big thing now is that I do not like to partially dress anymore, and have not for a long time. When I dress, I do so fully, or not at all. In an understanding and non-judgmental world, however, I would do those other things that I cannot get away with currently in a heartbeat! Too bad this is not that world . . . .

[elainedarling]

you are a lcky girl that your SO has excepted ypu and can dress at home

[elainedarling]

I,ve gone and had two makeovers and asked questions that have help with my makeup

[elainedarling]

when I take a photo the pose has to be good or I just delete it. I see pics that some post woth hairy legs and it looks awful

[kimdl93]

If we're talking about momentary satisfaction of the need/desire, I guess I'm not entirely satisfied unless I'm fully dressed and made up. That being said, I'm perfectly happy with every day femme, the level of dress and make up suitable for hanging round the house or patio. I'm probably at "everyday" levels 5/7 days per week. But,its just not quite "enough" sometimes.

If we're talking long term or ultimate satisfaction, I honestly don't know. I may be there or maybe I'll find the courage to go out in public en femme. I suppose in that respect, ultimate satisfaction for me would be experiencing life full time and publically as a woman.

[Kate Simmons]

When you get to the point that you don't have the driving NEED to dress( and do it because you just want to), you kind of de-mystify what being a woman (and a man for that matter) is all about. Then you can concentrate on being who you are as a person.:)

[Lainie]

I'm at the point now where I really need to go out in public, shopping or dining. I'm obviously a man in a dress, but still happy if I can put together an outfit that looks nice, and age-appropriate.

I'm reaching the point that I'm not satisfied just being out alone--would much prefer to enjoy company. There are plenty of opportunities for that in Houston, but my evening schedule is pretty full, and my wife's denial is a challenge

[JamieTG]

I agree with Lainie. We all have different levels but for me that level doesn't stay constant for very long. I may be satisfied for up to a year but then the desire to add more kicks in again. It causes me great anxiety because I don't handle uncertainty well. I wish I could be at a point that I know this is it and where I will stay. But it hasn't happened yet and may never happen.

[dawnmarrie1961]

Sometimes sitting here reading the various subjects on the threads I wonder to myself just how far is it necessary to go concerning CDing or feminine presentation until WE are satisfied with it. Some really push the "envelope" while others do the bare minimum. I guess the answer to this question is as varied and as individual as the members themselves. So, at what point do you feel that you have adequately expressed your feelings with regard to CDing?:)

Denise, Go as far as you feel comfortable with. For some it might be simply wearing womans underwear. For others it would mean dressing to pass as a woman. Be it for reality or fantasy there are as many different variations as there are flavors of coffee at Starbucks. Personally I prefer regular with cream and two sugars, but that's just me. You drink what ever satisfies you.

[Jorja]

You are right in saying the answer to this question is as varied and as individual as the members themselves. The easy answer is to go as far as you feel comfortable with.

[NicoleScott]

When you get to the point that you don't have the driving NEED to dress( and do it because you just want to), you kind of de-mystify what being a woman (and a man for that matter) is all about. Then you can concentrate on being who you are as a person.:)

Denise, I agree wih your OP, the question of how much is enough is as varied as the individuals are. And that would be true regardless of the drive to dress. In your second post, however, the need to dress isn't something that needs to be overcome, and will remain a need for many (of course, not a need in the truest sense - we won't die if we don't dress). For those born with a male body but a feminine identity, I don't think they will ever be able to de-mystify what being a woman is all about. Let's not forget that not all crossdressers yearn for womanhood. Some of us dress for the pleasure of dressing, nothing more, and are quite happy being regular guys who like to occasionally like to dress up as women. I'm one of those, so to answer the question, I need to go all the way with makeup, shapewear, pantyhose, dress (or skirt/top) wig, jewelry, high heels, nails, and perfume.

[Charise52]

My GG GF knows i wear camis and panties and jeans and tops and shorts and tops and this is not a problem... she is OK with this... the skirts and dresses are yet to be revealed... I often exchange panties with her... it is a great lifestyle...I wear women's clothes exclusively, yet the skirts and dresses are in private... yet I have worn skirts in public...

[msniki48]

When you get to the point that you don't have the driving NEED to dress( and do it because you just want to), you kind of de-mystify what being a woman (and a man for that matter) is all about. Then you can concentrate on being who you are as a person.:)

Denise, I am sure you are on the right track here, and i can't wait until i am able to dress enough, so that it is no longer the treat in the box of life that i live. [ enough , so to speak]

i recently went to a 4 day TG conference, where, for the 1st time in my life i was dressed for 5 days as opposed to 5 hours. This is also the 1st time in my life that i was begining to loose the conciousness of wearing woman's clothes, it was just all matter of fact...this is probably the closest i have been to that state of mind that you describe. i was just me. ohhhh it was great!

i am going back to my therapist to discuss this very thing and try to get a proper perspective.

thanks for making us think

hugs