I think I am destined to be a cd :D

[Jess Marie]

So the story starts out last night. I get out of the shower, see Jess's clothes and decide to be Chris for the night. I decided sometime later that I would purge for the first time, and not cd again. I just felt it was wrong and decided to try living life completely guy. I fell asleep, and I had my first CD dream. I was at my aunts old bar and I was by the pool table. I was wearing High heels, leggings, a skirt, a shirt, panties + bra and forms, but I did not have make up or a wig on. Then I remember a guy asking me why I was dressed as a girl and I said, you wouldn't even know I was a boy if I had enough money for a wig (real life problem too :sad:). He gave me $20 and then I ran behind the bar and into the kitchen, out to the back room/house entrance. There was a woman back there, she was familiar to me in the dream, but I have no clue who she is. She put a wig on my head and started applying some make up. I went back into the bar and everyone was shocked at this beautiful woman standing before them. Thats when I woke up :thumbsdn: I decided I would go and buy a dress or a skirt and blouse. I take the dream as my inner self telling me not to give up what I love.

[Anne2345]

It does not sound like you are "destined" to be a CDer to me, rather that you ARE a CDer. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with it! This forum is full of stories of girls purging, and attempting to give up CDing. Invariably a vast majority of them, I suspect, come back to CDing. And there is a reason for that - to deny an integral part of one's self typically results in misery and/or depression. As you said you have, listen to your inner self, as exposed by your dream. Embrace and enjoy yourself, and revel in your feminine side! :)

[Byron]

Dreams can do that. ;)

At one point before I fully accepted this part of my life, it would usually be a dream that results in a spat of dressing. I would go months without dressing or feeling the urge, then one night I'd have a dream about crossdressing. I'd wake up, and the urge would be there, and wouldn't go away until I satisfied it with a round of crossdressing.

I don't get this much anymore, since I dress on a pretty regular basis now and that I've truely accepted this part of me. My dreams now are about me dressing openly in front of family and friends or telling people I would never dream/want to tell. At least I don't wake up with the urge to tell those people. :doh:

[Cynthia Anne]

I consider it a blessing when dreams reveal something that is so true! Now live your dream girl and be happy! Hugs!

[AvidFan]

I had dreams about CDing years before I ever tried it. I think it was the reoccurring dreams that compelled me to do it for the 1st time.

[Noortje]

When I was still in denial, I had dreams about trying on and buying women's clothing all the time. They went away when I actually started doing it. So I guess I'm living the dream!

My advice: do not purge. Put it somewhere out of sight where you can still retrieve it. Just the knowledge that it is within reach will make it easier to deal with your feelings. If you at a later point decide to start again, you will not have to mourn the loss of your beautiful clothes. Especially if money is tight.

[elainedarling]

I so agree Ihave pruged clothes and pics several times and wish I had them back