Had surgery & got a nasty surprise.

[Melody Moore]

Hi everyone,

I am back home again after I had surgery two days ago to have my gall bladder removed through keyhole surgery, which is usually a straight forward procedure. According to the surgeon my gall bladder was a mess & full of stones. The largest about 2cms (3/4"). However the real surprise came when the surgeons found an incisional hernia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Incisional_hernia) just below my naval which is now causing me the most amount of pain in recovery.

There is just one problem, I don't recall ever having surgery before in my life, but I do know I was born intersexed & had some type of surgical procedures performed on me at a very early age, sometime before the age of 4 to remove my female organs. I guess it's hard to be careful when they are performing a hysterectomy on a such a small delicate infant & that is how this injury occurred & my abdominal wall was cut to cause the incisional hernia that I was never aware of. I just hope they put an end this barbaric butchering of intersexed kids.

[Andrea85]

Dang Melody. I hope you recover quickly. :)

[Teri Jean]

My heart goes out to you and hope you heal quickly. Past practices were barbaric and uncalled for and now they can say "we made a mistake" but they will not.

Teri

[Melody Moore]

Thanks Teri. What I can't get past is the 'cover up' by doctors, the hospital & most of all my parents who I thought were suppose to love me. My parents have never told me a thing about my gender condition at birth. I tried to contact the hospital last year for copies of my medical records at the time of birth under the 'Freedom of Information Act". However I was informed they destroyed my records, so I've ran into a dead end there. I have tried to bring the subject up with both parents, but they simply ignore what I ask them like they didn't even hear me. So they are refusing to discuss it - now my mother refuses to even talk to me & will hang up the phone if I try & call. I think my transitioning to female has them feeling guilty for concealing the truth from me all these years. It's not the first time some evidence of my intersex condition has suddenly surprised me, I am just wondering now what other medical surprises am I in for? Nothing too serious I hope :straightface:

[Stephanie-L]

Melody, very interesting. Question 1, did they fix the hernia while doing the gallbladder surgery? It would not be difficult, in fact one of the incisions for your surgery was probably near your hernia. Question 2. Is Australia that different than the US when it comes to medical records? Here a hospital or doctor must maintain records for at least the expected life of the patient, which is 70 or 80 years. If the doctor or hospital goes out of business then a curator of records must be named, usually a partner of the doctor, or another hospital owned by the same company. It is unlawful to outright destroy those records, though they may be lost to things like fire or flood. Now, if you come along 30 or 40 years later asking for those records, they may not be easy to obtain, possibly on microfilm or some other storage medium, or lost in some giant warehouse ala "Indiana Jones". It does sound like a cover up is under way. I am sure the doctors and hospital fear a lawsuit. I am sorry about your parents though, I am sure they thought that it was best for you, but now you know better, and they should accept you. Good luck on your quest and I hope things work out well for you......Stephanie

[Teri Jean]

Melody, I'm sorry to hear your mother is being evasive and non-forthcoming. I would think she is probably thinking she has made a wrong decision in your life and doesn't know what to say. My mother has done the same for a much different reason but not having her speaking is tough and my heart goes out to you.

[Babeba]

Melody,

I understand this is a personal question, and if it's inappropriate please feel free to ignore it - but how did you discover that you were intersexed with the coverup? Also, when did you realise that you weren't a boy? I'm sorry if this is too personal to ask. I understand that the process of arbitrarily assigning a gender to intersexed babies was unfortunately all to common in the past, and that many of these victims of sociomedical meddling end up undergoing SRS later in life to correct the doctors' mistake... it just seems like such a traumatically horrible thing to go through, and I'm sorry you've had to deal with this throughout your life.

[Reggie Campion]

When i wrote be-4 your surgery i haad mention i hoped it was the keyhole due to the fact i knew you would be home the next day but the discovery they made if flabergasting. Leading a duel life but you may have been there in birth. Just hope it doesn't play on your head. Don't know you; but you read very sensible. I am glad the gall bladder surgery went well.

Reggie

[Sejd]

Sounds really traumatic. Sorry you have to go through such a dilemma, pain and frustration. Surgery of any kind is traumatic to the body. Make sure you get a lot of rest and recovery after this.
Sejd

[celeste26]

Because you were not in any way capable of expressing your gender at the time, the surgeons and your parents did what they thought was best and not knowing in advance just which gender you would choose made the choice for you. Things were different then and you shouldn't really blame them for doing this. If it were today with everything that has happened since that era then maybe there would be blame. Its always better for you to forgive them. Its a tough decision anytime it happens.

I sympathize for the pain in the meantime and hope your recovery is swift.

[Melody Moore]

First of all thanks for the replies & wishes from everyone, but before I respond to some direct questions, here is a bit
of an update. It's been almost a week since my surgery & the only site that is still really sore is the incision site near
my navel where they also repaired the incisional hernia. Every time move, try to sit up, stand up or bend over in any
way I end up in pain, but it is easing & getting better so I try not to be idle if I can help it because of the risk of the
increased risk of blood clotting I currently now face. I have felt very nauseous ever since my surgery & I have to be
very careful about what I eat because fatty foods make me feel really sick now & send me scurrying to the bathroom.

The risk of Deep Vein Thrombosis is increased due to my hormone therapy, but it's further increased following surgery.
My doctors told me that there was no point in ceasing my hormones because it wasn't going to make it any less risky
because of the Oestrogen that was already in my body. So they took steps to reduce the risks of blood clotting after
my surgery. They fitted me with compression stockings which reduce the risk of clots forming in the veins in the lower
legs & also inflatable SCUDS (Sequential compression devices - SCD) (http://intensivecare.hsnet.nsw.gov.au/sequential-compression-devices) while I was immobile. It was important to get up
& about as soon as possible and keep being active to reduce the risk of clotting. But when I left hospital the day after
my surgery they gave me Clexane (http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcmed.nsf/pages/swcclexa/$File/swcclexa.pdf) injections which I have to administer to myself daily which I am OK with because I
am planning to go onto injectable Oestrogen soon anyway. So I think this is good practice for that.


Question 1, did they fix the hernia while doing the gallbladder surgery?
Yes they did repair the hernia site, the doctor was amazed that I had no serious problems with it from carrying
the injury for so long. My only real concern if it was the only legacy left behind after having a hysterectomy as an
infant child. As well as what other complications or risk do I face with having gender reassignment surgery to have
female genitals again?


Question 2. Is Australia that different than the US when it comes to medical records?
I don't know if we are different or not when it comes to the handling of medical records. I wrote to the hospital where
I was born & where I also suspect surgery was performed on me after that for copies of my birth & paediatric medical
records. I made this formal request under the 'Freedom of Information Act'. All I got was a reply stating that my records
were destroyed after 28 years. Now I don't know what other course of action I can take because this leads me straight
into a dead-end. Obviously I would like to find out if they still did exist because this information could also be beneficial
& vital to me for any other surgical procedure like my GRS. I might have to take this up by lodging a formal complaint to
the Australian Medical Board (http://www.medicalboard.gov.au/) & see what they can do to help.


Melody, I'm sorry to hear your mother is being evasive and non-forthcoming. I would think she
is probably thinking she has made a wrong decision in your life and doesn't know what to say.
Thanks Teri. As for my mother & her attitude, I am well & truly over it. I know this might sound nasty, but I realise
now she is one of the biggest hypocritical liars I have ever known. She has never really been there for me & runs away
from serious problems rather than facing up to them & dealing with them in the best possible way. Also she is a bigot
& ignorant & most likely worries about what others will think or say about her having a 'transgendered freak for a son'.

My mother has even threatened to call police if I turn up to visit her, that is how bad it is. She doesn't want to have
to deal with me. I think she fears having to tell her friends & reintroduce me as Melody her daughter who was once
her son. So I think there is lots of feelings of shame & guilt she is trying to deal with here, she fears how people will
react to both of us, her as a mother and me as a person. But she only fears what she doesn't know or understand &
really think she has this fear because she doesn't know how tolerant & understanding society is about kids who were
born like me.

There isn't a lot I can do right now, hopefully she is talking to someone about what is going on & why I need to be the
woman I truly am & not the son that she & my father wanted. But I fear she is lives in a bubble & has clammed up & has
not talked about it to anyone about it apart from my sister. So I think the only course of action for me is going to a little
more drastic. I have been thinking about just making an appearance & catch up with some good friends & friends of the
family that live in the same town & just let the rumour mill do the rest from there. An 80 year old lady who is the mother
of a good friend of mine I know lives in the same town. And I have spoken to her on the phone & she knows all about me
& she fully understands & supports me & has even offered to go talk to my mother. She agrees that my mother shouldn't
be running & hiding from this & should be dealing with it better, so I have a few allies to go into battle for me already ;)