To what extent do hormones affect the brain?

[Jennifer Sophia]

I took hormones that I bought online for about three months, as stupid as this may sound after being on them for about two months I finally realized that I am a transsexual, or so I thought, more on that later. For the first time I felt like I was thinking clearly and was truly seeing who I really am. I felt motivated for the first time in ten years; I finally got the courage to see a therapist, started taking classes, began eating better, lost 35 pounds and started exercising.

Six weeks ago I quit taking these hormones, and for the past two weeks I feel my old habits returning. I no longer feel the desire to eat healthy, exercise or to continue to see my therapist. I think the biggest thing is I no longer feel like I am a transsexual.

I guess my question for all of you is. Could the hormones that I took cause me to think like this? I plan on asking my doctor when I see her next, but that won’t be for a month, and this will eat at me until then.

[Eryn]

It is likely that the hormones you bought on-line weren't really the hormones you thought they were. It's much safer for the suppliers to fraudulently sell innocuous substances than risk the wrath of the FDA for selling controlled substances.

More likely I think that you experienced the same thing that we all do when something is new. The feeling of "Wow, I can *do* this!" can motivate us to do many of the positive things you found.

After I became more aware about myself about CDing I was less depressed, lost some weight, discovered items that weren't in the "Salt and Cholesterol" section of the menu, started taking better care of my skin, etc. all toward some goal that wasn't (and still isn't) completely clear to me. These things made me feel good about myself. Sometimes I experience barriers to my growth and times like those naturally make me want to slip back to my old familiar ways. This happens without hormones, so I don't have them to blame.

In short, I think your change of feelings is more likely a response to being disappointed about your progress than it is to a hormonal issue. My advice (note that I'm not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV) is to work through it, continue to do positive things for yourself, and wait for the storm to pass. You're an intelligent, thinking person and shouldn't let a few hormones push you around!

[BreenaDion]

Think about it, now you know some what of a difference between women and men. Why stop I would of kept on going. Maybe you dont have the ISM bad enough to change. Good Luck.
Breena.

[Melody Moore]

You don't take hormones to feel 'transsexual' & because taking hormones does not make you a 'transsexual'.

Suddenly stopping hormone therapy is also crazy & dangerous & you are playing a dangerous game using hormones
bought online, And commencing any type of hormone therapy without the backup of therapist & doctors is crazy &
dangerous. You will find that most transsexuals are fully aware they are transsexual through counselling BEFORE they
start hormone therapy and this is the reason why they do start taking hormones. You will also find that they are also
very much aware of the risks with taking hormones and stopping them. You don't seem to be aware of any of this and
seem to be finding out about them the hard way. I would go talk to a doctor about what is going on ASAP & get the
proper help & support you really need.

[TerryTerri]

I can only share my experience. First off, I went through proper channels which I feel is VERY important from a health standpoint. Anti-androgens and female hormones are prescription drugs for a reason. I feel it is critical that I am medically monitored to insure my body doesn't react badly to the regime. Okay off that soap box.

I find distinct pros and cons to being on hormones, although for me the pros greatly outweigh the cons. The pros are that my internal emotional and mental world is no longer so fractured inside. I just feel whole in a way that's hard to describe. That alone is the worth the price for me. In other pros, I'm slowly but surely growing my own girls!!! I've wanted breasts of my own as long as I can remember. They are still small in the scheme of things. don't really have to worry about 'hiding' them yet. But, I wouldn't dare go shirtless in public anymore. So, I've lost the ability to go to a public pool, not that I ever really did anyway. Anyway, other pros are tied in with the better mental emotional world my hormone regime gives me. I don't get angry as easily, have more loving patience with my kids, have been more calmly and serenely able to handle several stressfull situations I've been through since starting to take them. As for cons, I want to lose some weight and it is definitely more difficult, although not impossible, to lose weight while taking hormones for me. My ability to concentrate is significantly diminished which is not good for me. I have a job that requires concentration. I am kinda having to learn how to do my job in a different way with my new insides. A hurdle I am slowly but surely overcoming. But, my work productivity has been negatively impacted at this point. No one's complained as of yet and I seem to be getting it together slowly but surely. I do know that my concentration abilities are inversely proportional to my estrogen levels. I do injections and therefore end up with a cyclic estrogen cycle. For the first few days after an injection, things are most difficult and as the estrogen level slowly subsides my concentration ability rises. I'm just learning to deal with it. Girls have similar worlds with their emotions and hormone levels. Other cons, for me are the expenses. My insurance doesn't really cover any of this stuff. My doctor is able to work around that to a reasonable extent. But, I do incur significant personal costs that are difficult for me to afford.
My libido has completely changed. I don't want to really say it has lessened, although that's kinda true. It is just that I have found out that testosterone is an aphrodisiac and males get their libido from that. They do not have to do anything and are kinda enslaved with it. But, women's libidos aren't automatic. It comes from different places inside and is much more complex. So, I don't want to say my libido has lessened. But, it has become like a woman's libido and I am learning how that all works within myself.
Anyway, as with so many things related to this, your mileage may (probably) vary. That's my experience!

[Aprilrain]

Eryn just because a drug, like Estrogen, Progesterone, and Spiro requires a prescription that doesn't make it a "controlled" substance. Cypterone doesn't have FDA approval but that doesn't make it "controlled," testosterone on the other hand is. "Controlled" substances are controlled because they have a higher abuse potential like morphine.

Jennifer, define "hormones". So why take hormones if you don't think your TS and why stop taking them if you like the effects? Your question is impossible for anyone but you to answer.

[noeleena]

Hi,

Drugs meds or H R T differ a lot & as i dont know what you were takeing its very hard to work on , so your bodys recepters wont change that quick If your bodys T is in the normal range of about nmol 33 fora male then you would have to have a massive dose rate & your body would not just carry on in a normal manner,
For you to come down to a womans level & that quck , to change your brain & thinking would be a big ask. if you were on a low dose rate same again its a slow change .

the other ? is if you were a transsexual there would be no dought in your mind , the meds dont change you from one to the other like male to female . & if you are youd have known very early on in life say 25 odd years ago.

Trying meds may be a high for a while for some depending on what they are , just does not work quite the way your saying on a low dose, Oh are they for real these meds or a concoctsion & are they tested ,

I knew 53 years ago what i was / am & im 63 now no meds changed my thinking my thinking has all ways been the same & its no different now iv been on meds over 6 years . & my T is at a normal womens level at around nmol ,0. 9 to 1.5 & it goes up & down a bit.

I know it wont matter now .
tho what you should have done is have your blood tests done before you went on any meds.

I would advise you dont take any more till youv seen your endo & check in with him / her.

...noeleena...

[Jennifer Sophia]

Thanks for the replies ladies; I have a few comments to some of your questions.

I am certain what I was taking was what I purchased, because the side effects are what you would expect when taking these drugs. I am not recommending anyone take anything without a doctor’s supervision. When I started taking them I knew what I was doing and what could happen to me, I just didn’t care at the time. As far as why I started taking them, I felt the need to take them, I wanted to take them.
I miss spoke in my first post, what I meant was I felt like I would want to transition while on the hormones. Now not so much now that I am off them.

[Aprilrain]

Why did you stop?
Personally I have wanted to transition since before I started hormones but also "transition" means different things to different people. You might want to define transition. How far do you want to go? Have you sufficiently dealt with your self acceptance issues? I would guess that what ever thoughts and feelings you are having are your own and two months worth of Hormones isn't going to significantly alter your mind and body. I have been on Estrogen and an anti-androgen for two months and the mentally the only significant difference is I don't get angry nearly as easily.

[CharleneT]

I think you are playing a dangerous game there. Beyond the medical issues of starting and stopping HRT, the real problem is why start if you are not positive - all the way to your bones, that you want to make a gender change. That decision should happen well before you start HRT, or even really before serious consideration of it. I know we sound like gate keepers with statements like that, but it is true!! As Melody said, hormones do not make you want to be TS (or reverse said desire when you stop).

As for brain changes, over time there are significant changes in the human brain when cross hormone therapy is used. In either direction the physical size and function of the brain is altered. This alone is a very good reason to not go back and forth with hormones... For example, in the case of a MTF on estrogen replacement therapy (or regular HRT), the size of the brain shrinks. You will find many doctors who believe that cross hormone therapy should never be used, just because of the potential danger of these changes.

[Jennifer Sophia]

Well I stopped because I knew I could be damaging my health or worse. I am definitely struggling with self –acceptance, which is where some of my problems come from I think. I guess I don’t understand how I could be so sure that I wanted to transition two months ago, but now I question that. When I say transition mean taking the hormones and going all the way. I know some people don’t transition, because of family or other responsibilities. I guess I don’t see any other options than those.

[david]

jennifer sophia either u know that you woud rather be female or not.i woud recomend that you see a clinical therapist to decide if you realy feel that this is the right path for you to take in your future life.i decided that this was what i felt inside so i went the whole road and after seeing a gender specilest it was recomended that i went on to hrt and i now am at where i want to be namely a trans woman..do not stop taking hrt without seeing a doctor for your healths sake.Any way best of luck for the future jennifer .from davina x

[Stephenie S]

To what extent do hormones affect the brain?

In a great many cases the brain is all they effect. Fortunately the brain is the largest sex organ in the body.

S

[Alicia Ryanne]

Well I stopped because I knew I could be damaging my health or worse. I am definitely struggling with self –acceptance, which is where some of my problems come from I think. I guess I don’t understand how I could be so sure that I wanted to transition two months ago, but now I question that. When I say transition mean taking the hormones and going all the way. I know some people don’t transition, because of family or other responsibilities. I guess I don’t see any other options than those.

Your above quote makes me think you were/are still figuring out how to deal with who you are. Im no doctor or pysch, but I can completely understand what your thought process was. In some ways....you took the steps to self medicate BECAUSE you fetl you were transexual and needed to DO something. Then, while on them for a couple months, you felt GOOD about yourself and saw that as a good thing and so your mind equates being female as a good thing. Then the fear set in about self medication and all the warnings you may have read here and elsewhere so you stopped. Once the hormones were out of your system, that PINK fog kinda went away.
I dont think you've gotten past the internal struggle on who you are to be honest. I went thru a phase like that emotionally awile ago. Eventually, i did come to the conclusion I am truly transexual and now have no internal struggle relative to who I am. The gender dysphoria is of course still there because my body isnt aligned with my mind, but thats something that will be corrected over time.
You need to take the time to figure out who YOU are and dont let anyone tell you what THEY think you are including me. See a physcologist, but again, dont let THEM define you. You go to them for help figuring out who YOU are and maybe how to deal with it.

[ReineD]

We don't know what was in the pills you took. It could have been anything. Many online hormonal products are nothing more than a collection of herbs.

Don't underestimate the power of the mind. This is why placebo effects are possible.

You can now take that same mind energy and channel it more effectively by taking charge and making a long-term plan for yourself that fits with who you are. Then stick to it even if it means doing something small each day, like exercise and healthy eating. :)

Is your therapist aware of the pills you were taking?

[Areyan]

i know an individual who went on female hormones for nearly 4 years, made plans for surgeries and went through all the right channels and when crunch time came, realized that hir "dreams" of womanhood were exactly that. they are now living life somewhat happily as a gay man and are no longer transitioning.

go to a gender therapist, and dun medicate yourself again like that. that's just retarded.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Well I stopped because I knew I could be damaging my health or worse. I am definitely struggling with self –acceptance, which is where some of my problems come from I think. I guess I don’t understand how I could be so sure that I wanted to transition two months ago, but now I question that. When I say transition mean taking the hormones and going all the way. I know some people don’t transition, because of family or other responsibilities. I guess I don’t see any other options than those.

you need to try to be patient... you have no idea what was in those pills as people have said...so forget about them....you can't gain any good information from that experience...
all you need is more experience to help you get more comfortable with your own information and this will take time...don't decide anything to quickly...think about it as risks and rewards...trying HRT is a risk, trying to start transition is a risk...it's important to understand the rewards.. HRT rewards are very internal and you will either like them or you won't...i guess i should say you will almost certainly like the physical changes..i think the risks are very very low frankly, unless you buy off market and skip doing blood work...

The most important thing is be thinking clearly, and to wonder what everything means is only natural when you are going through this stuff......to ask a million questions seems pretty fair
it's very overwhelming and confusing when you are on the outside looking in..there is a ton of good and notsogood information out there....who you trust becomes incredibly important to you ...

so don't get down on yourself for "Self acceptance" issues...i still have those years into transition.... keep thinking just the way you are...take your time
i can comfort you that for most people, if you are smart about it, the decision will be made for you, and you will "just know"....and then you can decide what to do about it..
There are many people here who didn't "know" a darn thing until they were 40 or 50 years old.....myself included..

[Schatten Lupus]

Hormones do play a large role in brain function and structure and messing with them, like any psychiatric drug that effects hormones and neurochemicals and transmitters, is playing a game of Russian Roulette. And even HRT has that potentially deadly bullet in the chamber, as for some certain types will have potentially fatal side-effects, such as blood clots. And online pharmacies can have more bullets and blanks than empty chambers. You made the right decision to cease self-medication.
But I do recommend you put more thought into your issue of self-acceptance, and a therapist that specializes in gender issues can help you on this path. The good feelings you had may have been the newness of it, and the lessened feelings probably resulted in the sudden change in hormone levels. That is why women can be very emotional while on their period, because hormone levels bottom out.

[Aprilrain]

i know an individual who went on female hormones for nearly 4 years, made plans for surgeries and went through all the right channels and when crunch time came, realized that hir "dreams" of womanhood were exactly that. they are now living life somewhat happily as a gay man and are no longer transitioning.

I know someone who did almost exactly this but then started transition again in her 40's. I don't know why your acquaintance stopped but I know mine had issues with money and family. If one is TS it will come back to haunt you again and again and again.......If not then I guess it goes away which seems unfathomable to me.