If crossdressing was accepted by society, would that make it less fun?

[Amanda22]

What if crossdressing was highly accepted by society? Would you feel differently about it? I suppose no one would be in the closet any longer :) But for those of us who have come out and dress in public frequently, would your feeling about crossdressing change at all?

I wouldn't find it as exciting, to be totally honest with you. I really enjoy the excitement of shopping or dining out dressed as a woman and actually passing to some unknown degree. I love the experience. It is as though I have a secret. Please don't get me wrong; dressing femininely is when I feel most free and natural and I don't treat it like a game. I've never had a desire to participate in an extreme sport, either.

But I find something enticing about living a life so authentically and on the fringe. Presenting my self as a woman is a true reflection of my internal self. It is very rewarding to be authentic at the risk of ridicule or harm. It takes a lot of courage to remain relaxed while navigating a crowded mall, theater, or restaurant with your head held high and smiling at everyone who makes eye contact with you.

I've had several encounters with both women and men who knew I was really a male in body, and to receive their understanding, respect, and enthusiasm was just so amazing. If crossdressing was totally accepted, we wouldn't have those special experiences.

I'm very interested to hear others' thoughts on this.

[Babette]

[QUOTE=Amanda22;2460773]What if crossdressing was highly accepted by society? Would you feel differently about it? I suppose no one would be in the closet any longer :) But for those of us who have come out and dress in public frequently, would your feeling about crossdressing change at all?


To answer your the question in this thread's title about being less fun, my answer is simply no. Crossdressing and transgendered feelings are really a big blur in my mind. I don't know if I want to categorize my "crossdressing" as merely fun. It's who I am.

As to how I would feel if it were highly accepted by society, I would say relieved. I don't like confrontation or any sort of personal attacks. The reality is that a Utopian transgendered society probably won't happen in my lifetime. The again, any progress in this direction is a glimmer of hope.

Babette

[Nichola]

I may not be the best person to answer this as I've never even left the house dressed, but to me, the naughty aspect of it does add to the fun. If it was widely accepted & considered the norm, I do think fun aspect of it would be reduced somewhat. (Not that it would stop me wanting to do it.)

[Kaz]

I would lose something for sure, but I would gain acceptance.. and that is a big one!

[SarahMarie42]

I think it adds to the fun of attempting to pass in public, for sure. I mean, if a bevy of crossdressers/transvestites (I know some of you probably hate the word transvestite, but if we are to examine its etymology, it really means "one who dresses across" AKA "crossdresser") were just wandering about and it was all too common, it'd be possible for people to see even slightly masculine women as potentially being crossdressers/transvestites, as public transvestism would be such a widespread phenomenon that it would make jumping to such a conclusion rather easy. However, if society were to accept cross dressing and treat us as women while dressed rather than treat as men in women's clothes, I think it would allow some of the more insecure crossdressers/transvestites to enjoy that feminine experience.

And Nichola, you look absolutely fantastic in your avatar pic (You actually remind me of one of my dad's ex-girlfriends, who was very pretty and very sweet!). I totally think you should go out sometime.

[sherib]

I would love it. To be able to go outside and go any place I want. priceless.

[Elle1946]

To me it would make it a lot more enjoyable. But, we can dream!

[Nisha]

I think it would make crossdressing more enjoyable because then we could dress whenever we liked and not worry about getting caught or being read.

Personally I would then dress always.

-Nisha.

[ziggie]

It would certainly be different. I'd probably have to find something else to do as my secret from all but my closest friends, but it would be nice to be able to dress as Ii like and take the dog for a walk.

[beam47]

it would make it a lot easier , but just think how many more CD"S and TG's there would be ,

[tamarav]

If the only thing you are looking for as a crossdresser is to raise eyebrows, there are a lot of other ways to do it. Just get tattoos across your face, or don't shower for weeks or whatever. If you are a CD and you do it ofr your own satisfaction, as I do, then I could care less if the rest of society approves of the issue, it is my expression.

I dress daily to work and never, ever find it to be a chore or find myself not enjoying being dressed. So, if crossdressing were accepted by society (and it really is, just in limited fashion) it would not make any difference to me...I get along just fine dressed and wish others could do the same.

[Eryn]

it would make it a lot easier , but just think how many more CD"S and TG's there would be ,

I doubt that there would be any more of these, just that they would be more visible.

I know that I would be happy to be able to express myself without fear. I know that it is mostly irrational, but it's hard to turn off decades of upbringing even in the face of logic.

[VanessaVW]

I wish it was perfectly acceptable, then I could dress exactly as I wished. I'm not the "thrill of the taboo" type. I just want to be confortable with who I am and be accepted by all.

[Being Paige]

No!! not at all. It would definately be more enjoyable for sure!!

[RADER]

I wish we could make a month "Crass Dressing Month. That way anybody could dress as they
wanted to. Just think, How many people would venture out of the closet, and see the light
of day.
Rader

[Pythos]

I could enjoy it without fear of my reputation or being labled a derogatory term merely because of liking the challenge to make an exotic or pleasing image of myself.

[Cassandra Lynn]

My main goal in life is to find Serenity, to be happy, joyous and free. There are many ways to feel a thrill, or to be excited beyond the norm, i'd rather it not be by going out enfemme.
Think about that pretty woman you see on the street one day, she's decked out in a beautiful outfit and walking down the street in tall heels or sitting in a sidewalk cafe, legs crossed and her heel dangling, with a lovely smile on her pretty face.
She doesn't look that way because she's getting away with something, she is free.

[lori m crawford]

i fell this way i am 58 an live as a cd all my life in side some times i go out dressed yers a go but i just lost ever thing that i had even all my cd things but it made me think i am me an me or no body can change that so i belive do what you an all of us haft to do ever body is who they are

[Amanda22]

I think some understood what I meant by the post, and I thank you for your thoughtful responses. I suppose I'm in the minority by finding going out exciting. For the first time in my life, I'm now able to present an exterior that is congruent with my interior. Personally, that's cause for my excitement, pure joy, and yes, "fun". What's wrong with fun? I don't know how equates to thrill-seeking and attention-mongering.

[aurora_erika]

My fantasy, dressed aether as a male or female without any concerns or inhibitions, At home, at work everywhere as if it was totally normal. I would have far more fun.

[Cynthia Anne]

I'm sure it would be nice to be totally excepted! But it wouldn't change any thing for me! I just tell them! :If you don't like the way I'm livin' you just leave this long haired country girl alone!

[LilSissyStevie]

I don't think it would change anything for me. I don't even go out in drab much but when I do I get more of a kick walking around laughing at people who think I'm just your average scary looking hillbilly.

[sissystephanie]

Having been a crossdresser for over 60 years, I don't think there is anything that could change my feelings about it! Like Tamara, I dress to please myself, and no one else! As I have often said, since my wife died I now go out dressed enfemme but looking just like the man that I am. No wig and no makeup! And I am very comfortable doing so! I have been doing that for over 6 years and have never had a problem. If you are decently clothed, the majority of people don't care what you are wearing! Unless of course you try to be real Drag Queen with your clothes. Than any problem is your own fault!!

[Frédérique]

If crossdressing was accepted by society, would that make it less fun?

Would it still be considered crossdressing if it were accepted? There’s a point when crossdressing wouldn’t be crossdressing, but I can’t imagine a world free of prejudice that would give birth to this imaginary state. Imagine NOT making distinctions among people, or ideas, or beliefs, and accepting ALL types of human behavior – I really don’t think this will ever happen, since, historically at least, humans need some counter-humans to feel superior to, the whole basis for the “system” we find ourselves living in at present…

If crossdressing WERE accepted, across the board, I wouldn’t really do anything different. It would still be fun because I would make it so. In my case, I’m separated from society anyway, so what the outside world is doing has little bearing on my own activity. I can’t imagine ALL men crossdressing, for example, without some inevitable backlash from females – at what point does the scale tip towards relinquishing traditional control for the sake of comfortable clothing? The mindset that continues to make the world go round will keep doing so, but what if the adopted attire of the opposite sex hinders this process? Males might learn something, but I doubt it…
:straightface:

[MargaretJ]

There is a part of me that enjoys the fact that CDing is my little secret, and that people would hopefully be pleasantly surprised to find out about my hobby. Like Amanda I find going out exciting, and that would probably be lessened, but the opportunity to wear heels and stockings most of the time would far outweight any disadvantages.

[Susan_Xdress]

Amanda poses a fascinating question. If the ‘taboo’ were lifted would we lose the thrill of crossdressing . . . These days, when en femme, most of myself is delirious at simply being Susan, and the affirmation that I can be accepted as such. But … yes, I also admit to a vicarious thrill at being a David in a dress. I think it stems from those very early years of trying to get it right .. learning what to wear and how to walk and talk .. there was a thrill (and stark terror) associated with trying to pull off the emulation.
But oooh .. if we could truly just openly ‘be’ … then Susan would be more than a part-time girl.

[Cheryl T]

I don't dress for fun...but to express how I feel inside.
Yesterday my spouse and I were out shopping (I was dressed) and all the time at the malls and the restaurant no one seemed to notice me. I was just another woman out on a nice Saturday. That's just how I want it!!

[CarlaWestin]

I think some understood what I meant by the post, and I thank you for your thoughtful responses. I suppose I'm in the minority by finding going out exciting. For the first time in my life, I'm now able to present an exterior that is congruent with my interior. Personally, that's cause for my excitement, pure joy, and yes, "fun". What's wrong with fun? I don't know how equates to thrill-seeking and attention-mongering.

I find going out dressed scandalously thrilling. If public gender-fluid clothing became the norm I would up the thrill level with ever more provocative presentation. You know, bigger forms, higher heels. Wow, let the fun begin!

[IMkrystal]

Would it still be considered crossdressing if it were accepted? There’s a point when crossdressing wouldn’t be crossdressing, but I can’t imagine a world free of prejudice that would give birth to this imaginary state. Imagine NOT making distinctions among people, or ideas, or beliefs, and accepting ALL types of human behavior – I really don’t think this will ever happen, since, historically at least, humans need some counter-humans to feel superior to, the whole basis for the “system” we find ourselves living in at present…

If crossdressing WERE accepted, across the board, I wouldn’t really do anything different. It would still be fun because I would make it so. In my case, I’m separated from society anyway, so what the outside world is doing has little bearing on my own activity. I can’t imagine ALL men crossdressing, for example, without some inevitable backlash from females – at what point does the scale tip towards relinquishing traditional control for the sake of comfortable clothing? The mindset that continues to make the world go round will keep doing so, but what if the adopted attire of the opposite sex hinders this process? Males might learn something, but I doubt it…
:straightface:

My understanding of this post is that acceptance means, acceptance among men and women. If this was true, how we are stereotyped would not be the narrow view everyone has now! It would open the door to more women seeking crossdresser as partners.

[suchacutie]

Ok, so it is true that having a secret that my wife and I only share has a certain positive aspect to it.

That said, there are two sides of me that are important. Ok, it is "fun" to be Tina, but the fun has nothing to do with society. The "fun" of Tina is that she exists! Anything that makes her existence easier or more natural is a plus. In that sense, there would be more of the fun of Tina if she were not in any way restricted.

:)

[Byron]

If it was completely accepted and no one cared, I would dress everyday I felt like it.

[Maddie22]

If it were accepted, I believe it would be more fun because:
-There would possibly be more shoes clothes offered in my size then.
-I'm sure there would be more hair-removal practices and it would be less expensive than it is now.
-I could dress All the time (I'd go through SRS for sure)
-I could be ME!!!

[GirlieAmanda]

But I find something enticing about living a life so authentically and on the fringe. Presenting my self as a woman is a true reflection of my internal self. It is very rewarding to be authentic at the risk of ridicule or harm. It takes a lot of courage to remain relaxed while navigating a crowded mall, theater, or restaurant with your head held high and smiling at everyone who makes eye contact with you.



God, I just did this exact thing just yesterday and I think this is a very good way of putting it. I just went out for the first time in 10 years trying to pass and I did fantastic. Although there is a little thrill associated with passing or in my case trying to appear as I feel inside, it would be so much better if it were accepted. I would be 24/7 tomorrow if it were like that. Work, home, out, sleep, it would be so nice. I guess I am more courageous as Amanda than in boy mode.

[StarrOfDelite]

Absolutely not. I don't do this for "fun." I do it because it is who I am. If the taboo disappeared miraculously, I'd be much happier.

[kymmieLorain]

Well It would be easier for me. I think the reason I haven't gone out dressed is just that acceptance. But I am getting closer to the door everyday.

Kymmie

[Sarah Doepner]

I must admit there is a bit of a thrill in going out en femme that would probably disappear. However, that bit of thrill usually only lasts for the first 15 minutes or half hour of my outings. After that, I'm just me. If there was general acceptance, but not necessarily general practice (was this part of the assumption?), I'd be very happy to get out more often. The thrill and challenge of doing the very best I could would be just fine. It would be great to not have to worry about telling children, grandchildren, old friends, co-workers and employers. There is a lot to be said for trading some of the thrill for security and comfort.

[Amanda22]

It would be great to not have to worry about telling children, grandchildren, old friends, co-workers and employers. There is a lot to be said for trading some of the thrill for security and comfort.

Sarah, I like your response. I agree with you that any loss of thrill would totally be worth the gains of freedom. Thanks for your input.

[JamieTG]

For me I would lose a lot of the enjoyment. Humiliation and the "taboo" factor have always played a major part of my desire to Xdress. If it were accepted by society I would probably continue to dress just because I've been doing it my whole life. But the heart pounding thrill would be gone.

[AmberKatieJenter]

I wish it was perfectly acceptable, then I could dress exactly as I wished. I'm not the "thrill of the taboo" type. I just want to be confortable with who I am and be accepted by all.

My sentiments are kind of an echo of this. I guess all I'd add is that I wish standards of masculinity/femininity were more flexible, and those that fell outside would not be stigmatized. It would be nice to live in a society in which people were judged on their merits as human beings, rather than by superficial gender roles...

[MistyCD]

absolutely not, I love to wear dresses, pantyhose and high heels.....

[katesometimes]

I don't think it would be less fun, but rather more fun. I could wear what I want where I wanted to with no fear of what others thought. I could share my desires with friends and family in addition to my wonderful wife. To be able to be so open about who I am would be a blessing.

[Nikki A.]

I don't know if it would be less fun. I dress when I can because it is what I feel right doing. If it was accepted I would dress alot more and maybe not go all out (make-up, hair). I could then be me.

[Jay Cee]

I would be ecstatic if society accepted CD'ers, and would still enjoy going out en femme. In fact, I bet I would enjoy it even more - not having to be concerned if I am going to get beat up, put in an embarassing situation, or otherwise stressed would make it that much nicer of an experience.

[claireblur]

it would make it a lot better! I could cross dress whilst shopping and it would be more execpted and would not have to worry about being attacked.

[Jolene]

It would be wonderful. I could finally wear all of my nice fem clothes outside of the house. :)

[Alice B]

There is no doubt that I would love such a situation, but reality says it will never happen.

[bridget jones]

If it were accepted I would wear dresses and heals any and everyday. I would be all woman head to toe day in and day out.

[abbykins]

I would love that! I enjoy the independence thrill for what it is, but I'd be much happier if I never had to think about it.

[Lorileah]

If I want a rush I'll go into extreme sports. No it would not make it less exciting just easier on my life.

[Chickhe]

It just relates to my current issues...leaving and returning home undiscovered, wife not understanding it, protecting the kids... so, it would just make it easier. In a way though, its already pretty close if you choose to be out, for the most part I think people are okay with it.

[Rachel Mari]

I would still crossdress. I don't do it for the thrill, but because I just feel much more complete and normal.
I have had a certain dream (maybe three times in the last few years) and in that dream, I'm out dressed in skirt and heels and no one sees anything wrong. It's like there is nothing wrong, that it's perfectly normal for me to wear a dress and not be mocked or belittled. If society did accept, to me that would be that dream.
I usually wake up from this dream a little sad that things aren't like that now.

[ClevelandOHCD]

Good gosh no... There are few things I want more... Walking out the door and sayign "Hi world, I'm me!" without worry or hangup would just.. wow.

And then leprachauns and unicorns and faeries would dance across my front lawn.

Reality. Bleh.

[5150 Girl]

It would make my life easyer. For me dressing isn't about the "shock value" at all. It's about beeing myself

[Loni]

if society would just accept a man in a dress and heels as normal, life would be so grand, to go were i want as i need to be.
i do not believe if when the sun comes up in the am that we (members of the lgtgabcdef community)would lose anything, it would be a gain at the least, and a blessing at the best.

----sorry about the letter stuff it just gets confusing to me what with all the letters and different meanings, and we are just humans trying to live our lives.------

Loni

[Tasha McIntyre]

Hi Amanda, great set of questions


What if crossdressing was highly accepted by society? Would you feel differently about it? I suppose no one would be in the closet any longer :) But for those of us who have come out and dress in public frequently, would your feeling about crossdressing change at all?

Regardless of what society thinks.......Crossdressing would have to me highly accepted by my wife to have any great impact on my life. But if societies atitudes shifted significantly, yeah I suppose I wouuld be out of the closet even more than I am now. My feelings about CDing probably would change a bit too



I wouldn't find it as exciting, to be totally honest with you. I really enjoy the excitement of shopping or dining out dressed as a woman and actually passing to some unknown degree.

You know what Amanda, my thoughts exactly. I kinda blend in without passing, and assume that everyone who really looks at me knows I am a CDer. Without actively seeking reaction I do get a buzz and thrill being in the heat of battle (aka the busy shopping mall) many many times, and never had a bad or negative reaction.

Tash :)

[Tina B.]

For the thrill seekers, I see your point, it's a rush! But then we are not all thrill seekers, I've only been in public a couple of times, was not a good feeling for me. But if the world flipped upside down, and all the things taboo where acceptable, If I felt like I could walk down the street in a full skirt, and not be ridiculed, or bring shame and disappointment to my family, if people would treat me the same as when I'm in drab, now that to me, would be a THRILL! I don't want to make a statment other than hey it's just me.
Tina B.

[Christine Andrews]

For me, the acceptance of crossdressing by/in society would lift a huge weight off of me. I would feel a great deal happier in myself and with my life if I didn't have to hide what I consider to be one of my positive aspects.

I may not ever be able to "pass" but crossdressing has led to me questioning myself, my view of the world and informed how I handle what life throws at me mentally. In that regard it has been a positive influence.

The fact that I cannot openly acknowledge this to the ones I care about weighs me down and is my biggest barrier to accepting myself wholly.

C'est La Vie. If life were too easy, it wouldn't be the same would it?

[Stacye Rose]

No, it would not be less exciting for me

[Areyan]

Having been a crossdresser for over 60 years, I don't think there is anything that could change my feelings about it! Like Tamara, I dress to please myself, and no one else! As I have often said, since my wife died I now go out dressed enfemme but looking just like the man that I am. No wig and no makeup! And I am very comfortable doing so! I have been doing that for over 6 years and have never had a problem. If you are decently clothed, the majority of people don't care what you are wearing! Unless of course you try to be real Drag Queen with your clothes. Than any problem is your own fault!!

Stephanie has a good point here. if you go out dressed like a prostitute or a drag queen of course people are going to react rudely to you and give you grief. as a FTM i am practically invisible even though i wear men's clothing - yes ACTUAL mens' clothing, not women's masculine attire - so i dun get any particular "thrill" or even have any fun dressing as i do. it is actually just a reflection of who i am. i think fetishistic transvestites would lose the joy in doing this if it were accepted as mainstream, sure.

[Trish]

I actuall think it would be more fun if crossdressing was accepted by society. I wouldn't have to worry about who sees me dressed when I'm out.