Sister needs help

[Danni Renee]

I really opened my mouth and inserted my foot this time.

As I mentioned in my introduction post, I have a very supportive (if not even encouraging) significant other. She has accepted me and we are working together to make a better life for both of us. She is an incredible woman and I love her very much.

I told her when I joined the site a couple of weeks ago and she was happy about it (we had both been "lurking" since I came out to her). She told me on Friday that she had joined the site as well so we can share in the experience and learn together. Unfortunately, the knuckle dragging part of me came out and I said something stupid. Instead of accepting her, I told her the only reason she joined was because she did not trust me because I did not think she could relate to the things one the site.

Well, as you can imagine, I hurt her feelings pretty bad. It was wrong of me to accuse her of spying on me and I feel really bad. She has a good heart and her intentions were true - she just wanted to provide advice and help from an accepting SO. Instead, she has told me she wants to give me space to explore and will not log on now. I know that she really does want to be involved and I want her involved.

Because she has not met the 10 post requirement her account is restricted. I am hoping some of our sisters here will post some encouragement for her on this thread and I can read it to her to get her involved again. I appreciate any help I can get.

Danielle

P.S. Her post name is Deana (heart) Danni

[Cynthia Anne]

first, I think it's great that you realize how wrong you were! Mostly, having an SO that's supportive is something that most of us can only dream of! And having a VERY special SO to join this site and support you is like living in a perfect world! I hope after she puts a few knots on your head you realize how lucky you are! SHE your so is a very, very Special Other!

[sissystephanie]

You need to have another talk with her, and let HER know how much you really want her to use the forum. Deana is a very special SO, and you are very lucky to have her! Yes, you will be apologetic again but in this case it really is necessary!!

[christinac]

I haven't seen any of her posts yet. I really can't offer any real advice on your situation because I'm the grand champion of letting the mouth go full speed forward and the brain full speed a stern.

[Cheryl T]

My spouse joined a long time ago and had not used it in some time and had to rejoin. She didn't know how to set it up so I helped her. I am more than happy to show her this part of me as she has been incredibly supportive to me and I couldn't go on without her...welcome your spouse to this part of your life...it's much more fun with her than without.

[Joann Smith]

yep...you screwed up ...open mouth insert foot....been there done that a few times ....flowers and candy fixed it the first time ...it took diamonds the second...the third time I had to buy her a cadillac to make her smile...So now I keep my damm mouth closed cause she got her eye on a new house...

Joann

[Sandra]

Oh dear...you need to sit down with her and talk about what was said and why you said it. Then tell her what you have said in your post in that you want her to be involved. Once she gets her 10 posts she can then apply to join the FAB forum, where she will get support and advice.

[xpshooter]

Hello Danni,

It is all too easy to open a mouth without completly thinking of what we are saying and how it will be taken, we have all done it at some point. Fortunatly you have realized what you have done.

As for Deana, she sounds very special. The fact that she has accepted you and wants to be involved with your life makes her a keeper.

Trust me, I do not have anyone other then the people here for support of the issues and experiences we talk about, so Deana is a priceless part of your life and she needs to know that.

So Deana please realize people say some stupid things that can and do hurt, but please learn to look beond the stupid words and look at the true intentions of the person to find the right thing to do.

I hope this helps. :)

[SuzanneBender]

The Y chromosome often causes the innate need of the male of the species to taste his toenails after saying something stupid. Unfortunately the feminine traits that we exhibit are often not strong enough to overcome this wiring. Share your desire to share this with her as she wants.

[Julogden]

You've received good advice, follow it! And don't do that again! Seems that most women want nothing to do with their spouse when they crossdress. Few SO's offer support and it's even more rare to find one who will encourage crossdressing, so you've found a rare treasure in her.

I sincerely hope that she'll give you another chance and that she takes advantage of these forums to get some advice and support from the other SO's here.

Carol

[carhill2mn]

How unfortunate for both of you that you reacted as you did. It is such a blessing to have a supoostive SO. You really do need to "eat some crow", so to speak. One thing that may help is to encourage her to post in the section reserved for GWs
where she can interact with others like herself.

[tall sam]

I never really thought of having my SO as a member. Not really sure she would want to but I thinks is great yours was so keen to find out more and be more involved. Jst apologise and soon enought she will be back and hopefully offering us all some good advice on how to interact and deal with our special other people in our lives.

[Theresa1955]

Yep, the old footinmouth disease. I would apologize to her and discuss the importance of her involvement with your CDing. She obviously is supportive and wants to share your feelings and goals in life. As a part of the forum she can add to that experience and better understand and share her feelings and views with you. Besides, she can help those of us on the forum with her views and suggestions. I hope all works out. Walking through life hand in hand is better than taking the path by yourself.

[Babeba]

You know, I'm pretty sure I'm on here a lot more than my boyfriend is. This holds true for many of the wives and SOs of crossdressers on this site - sorry, but our focus isn't just on our partner when we're on here, it's also on each other and the whole community!

Deana, if you come back and get those ten posts done up in here, you can join the FAB (Female At Birth) section and come hang out with us without feeling like you're on your SO's turf. It IS great to talk to someone else 'in the know' about life sometimes. Hope to see you soon!

[Suzette Muguet de Mai]

Silly Billy huh, all I can say is "learn from mistakes made". You are so very lucky to have someone like her who is there to help and understand. You get back to her and talk with her and together enjoy this site. You have an instant link to feminine knowledge and put the male mind in neutral and talk, I do not have this and I certainly appreciate all GG here and their advice. Maybe it would be good for your SO to read your posting and the replies too and see how we try and support each other in one way or another.

[ReineD]

I appreciate any help I can get.

The first thing you need to do is to tell her you're sorry. My SO also told me once he thought I was checking up on him and it hurt. A lot. It made me feel as if there was a part of him that he didn't want to share with me.

Next, if you can, look inside yourself to see what it is that made you say that. It stems from a fear, but a fear of what? If you can discover it and share it with her, your apology will be sincere, you both will gain a bit more understanding, and then you can both put the whole episode behind you. :hugs:

[Natalie Wood]

Hi Deana,

All I can say is this. You are obviously a special person to be so loving and supportive of your husband. I am sure that you just want him to be happy and to be himself (herself too). Cd'ing has changed your life. It is a journey from here on out. One that you may not have gotten counseling on from the minister b4 you got married...lol. But hang in there and give each other some slack. You seem very understanding from what I read. I speculate that you just need some time to heal. FYI, I cd and I also have a supporting and encouraging wife. So I can relate a bit.

[andrea69j]

Deana,

Despite the clothes we wear, we can still be men. Please listen to Danni's apology and feel the sincerity. (S)he needs your love and support.

Kisses,

Andrea

[MrKunk]

Deana,

I know he hurt you badly, and it shook you, but you need to understand he regrets it. He wants you here, and so do
the rest of us. We can use someone with a deep knowledge of being a girl. I have been looking for someone who will
openly accept my cross dressing and other habits, so far no luck. Your his treasure and he should treat you like royalty.
He had a moment when he wasn't thinking in feminine mode, and screwed up. Forgive him. He/she loves you. He/she wants you here. He will make mistakes again, but hopefully you understand none of us are perfect.

[Deana ♥ Danni]

Hi Ladies :)) I just want to say THANK YOU for your help and advice :) You have really helped us both, and made me feel welcome :) I posted my intro in the "A thread for all the genetic females to..." I look forward to getting to know you all better and learning from you, and helping when needed :)) ~~ Thanks again :))

[Danni Renee]

THANK YOU to my love, Deana, for forgiving me, accepting me, and joining me on this journey. And thank you to all those that responded. Your caring showed Deana that this is something good that can help mine and her relationship and hopefully other that use this site. THANK YOU!

[Jilmac]

After coming out to my SO she joined this site so she could learn more about us and our lifestyle from a woman's point of view. Most of the GGs on the women's forum can impart first hand knowledge about the transgender lifestyle from their own perspective. Please encourage you SO to keep her account active and give her the same support she has given you.

[Cindygirl65]

It sounds like she really loves you. She fully supports you and that is hard from our loved ones in what we do. Apologize to her and let her know exactly how you feel and support her too. Cindy.

[Suzette Muguet de Mai]

Yay, so nice enjoy your stay :)

[MrKunk]

Deanna thank you for returning you really mean a lot to all of us, not only because we value you as a member and person. Also because your knowledge is meaningful to all of us. Quite frankly there are a lot of us that can use what you know. Thanks again and welcome to the forums.

[t-girlxsophie]

Danni,Good to see that you fell on your sword for being a Prat for your outburst,you know yourself that you deserved a kick up the bum for that and I hope that you took it like a man LOL
Welcome back Deana,Im sure you will find all the support you need,On these pages I have saw some great advice from the GGs,and being here will for both of you,work wonders for your relationship

Sophie