Late Bloomers

[Heidi_slave]

I read an interesting thread recently about our earliest CD memories. I was surprised to learn that the average age for earliest dressing experiences was about four years old. Most of us did start quite young, at a pre-sexual age really.

What about the other extreme? Is there anyone out there who started becoming interested in dressing in adulthood? Does this happen, where someone suddenly wakes up at age 30ish or 40ish and says, "I need to dress like a girl"? I'd be interested to hear from you. Was The Urge there all along, or did it suddenly blossom?

In my case the initial onset of The Urge was somewhat later than average, maybe early teens. Then, for largely situational reasons, I was unable to dress for many years. When the opportunity again arose in my early -40's it was like slowly releasing the pressure on a time bomb.

What's your experience, Late Bloomers?

Heidi

[Cynthia Anne]

I feel the 'urge' has always been there for everyone since a very young age! But it may take years to 'wake up' that 'urge' for different reasons! Please correct me if I'm wrong!

[christinac]

In a way, I'm one of those people and so are several of us. I goofed and played with crossdressing since I was a child and I've always struggled with my sexual identity, but it has only been five or six years since I really got serious about it.

[James Kaon]

I remember when I was a kid I did try my mum's tights. But, it didnt stay with me and I never thought about it. Until about 5 months ago. So at 37, I decided to try stockings and tights and panties and its now a fully fledged fetish...

[Jolene]

When I was young it always felt so nice and natural when I would dress in my sister's clothes and I never really understood why.
After getting caught and The Talk, never really thought too much about it, but with 3 brothers around could not do much about it at that time. When I would see women's clothing ads my attention would always go to the clothing they were wearing. About the age of 50, decided I just had to have some women's underware and now Jolene has quite a wardrobe. Do wish I would have started sooner but now I feel right at home. :)

[Nia Hush]

Do you want a long answer or short answer?

Because I'm bad at short answers, but it would feel good to just get this all out of my system.

I guess there's a little bit of younger experiences, but I'm uncertain if they really had a big influence for me because I'm starting at 33 and single, which I feel still gives me a fair bit of time to catch up as I have fewer distractions outside of work and I'm not currently dating.

I did theater in high school, so I did feel that rush of excitement because men also had to wear tights (especially under the kilt for Brigadoon) and this was also where the girls got to inflict makeup on us because lips and eyes do need to be highlighted on stage. How can you not feel a bit girly when a couple of girls are having a blast putting make up on you. I also did dance for a year as an alternative to PE - High School PE really wasn't beneficial.

Oh, I did stick out and I was the only one with a dressing room... actually it was more like a theater closet they assigned me for dressing. Girls got the dressing room. The fairly young teacher for that class was actually thrilled to have me because she could use me to teach proper ballroom dance later on. Sad fact: Women don't really get proper training in ballroom and other male/female dancing largely because me fear that dance is emasulating or "gay." One girl always has to end up dancing like the man.

I actually got into swing/shag/ballroom further in college. I found it kinda sad how few men got into it. There was this party thrown for the freshmen's first day and there was a DJ. Everyone knew the MTV bump and grind, but paralysis hit the dance floor when Cherry Poppin Daddies starting playing. There was one brave couple that salvaged it because they knew how to dance that way and everyone just kinda watched. Thankfully we did actually have swing dances.

At swing dances I often could feel the seething as guys watched me dance with their girlfriends (something I kinda enjoyed), but I would sometimes approach them and show them some quick and easy basics to get started with their girl.

Wow, offtrack. I think I was able to shake off silly stigma's attached to theater and dance because I was so used to being placed in the nerd catagory for being a chronic video-gamer (this was considered nerdy in the 80s and 90s, its cool to everyone now though). I took that Game Boy everywhere in high school and pretty much whipped it out the second school was over, same thing in college.

The video game side is actually probably where a stronger seed was planted. RPGs often let you pick gender, race and such and it always struck me a tad strange that people would create characters in their image as opposed to playing into the fantasy and actually roleplaying. Not that I was one to actually, deeply roleplay in more recent years, but I did a bit in Everquest.

And playing online RPGs in particular is somewhat of an eye-opener to the female experience. I quickly found out just how differently I could be treated just by appearance. I was a High Elf Enchantress named Cyndel. I had started with a male character, but in true male fashion when you're a guy no one gives a damn to help you even when starting out.

When I played Cyndel, it was as if the world itself fell before her feet. I did have to resist a lot of temptation - and I was in an extreme state paranoia at the time because of some identity theft that happened to me - but I did end up roleplaying as a female to the best of my ability and was never questions. People would try to gift me - I turned it down, but never turned down the almost instantaneous help I could get with quests. Of course, I always returned help when helped so I never really was "that girl" - you know, the one that mooches in games which may or may not be a girl.

And since I was so gabby online (and here, obviously), most people just assumed I was indeed this chatty gamer girl. I was never questioned. Sadly Cyndel became an addictive escape rather than an asset to my life and I eventually quit for that reason.

My later MMO female persona, who I'll just refer to as Kitty, I was upfront about who I was. I initially did play as a male character, but when I created the female it was indeed like a different side of my jumped out. Kitty was more conversational and meticulous, more goal-focused. I was meticulous with either character, but the girl was just more fun for me. I was extremely upfront about being male when asked and yet so many people were still surprised that when they got on Skype or Teamspeak that they heard a dude associated with her name.

And Kitty was just so much more focused, I don't know if I was just treating her as Daddy's little girl or I found something more empowering by being in the woman's shoes, but I've settled on it being much of the latter and a small bit of the former. How I played her ended up being beneficial to both characters, but she tended to get most the spoils.

And that's really where I feel Nia has emerged, that's been a recurring trend in my gaming - when playing both male and female characters, I find the women more empowering and treat them better.

So I've taken those experiences and accepted Nia is a part of me that needs to have her space, sometimes a lot of it. I don't know if I really have a need to be seen as a woman - part of me is just apathetic to what other people think of my interests and I've always been that way - but I have developed an intense interest in "passing" anyway and I feel willing to do as much as I can to achieve it while freely being able to switch back to being the nerdy guy I always have been.

Ok, that felt good.

[AllieSF]

I started 4 yrs about 60. No sudden urge, just a combination of things, circumstances, frustrations and desires. Now, that was from zero desire to ever dress as a woman on a regular basis. I maybe able to correlate a few childhood and adult instances that could be linked, or not, to this lifestyle. I even dressed completely as a woman once for a costume party, really carried it of very successfully, and then never thought about doing it again. So, there are a few or more of us that are really late bloomers. God does work in mysterious and sometimes very wonderful ways.

[PretzelGirl]

I actually had about a month when I was a young teenager where I would try on discarded things in the basement and take them right back off, afraid of getting caught. And then **poof** it was over. Never a thought about it again until my early 40's when a little bedroom play started the ball rolling. It has been a slow progression ever since.

[suchacutie]

I was 55. I've written the complete explanation on this forum before, but the short version is that my wife and I just seemed to fall into it by accident, I joked, she encouraged, and after the first 15 seconds of being "dressed" (not completely, no wig, no breastforms, no bra) my wife insisted that we buy me a dress. Within a week Tina had her name, had found this forum, my wife and I had established ground rules, and we suddenly started talking about my feminine self and how it does affect and has affected my life. We also realized that the only way to find out who Tina is would be to give her a life...hence my by-line.

It's been an increadably steep learning curve, an incredible adventure, and Tina is now a permanent part of our life.

neat, huh?

[Barbara Dugan]

I've been dressing for about 3 years..I always had feelings about non gender comformity.. I noticed and was aware at early age that being an effeminate kid caused angst and worries to my parents about my safety...believe me being sort of different in a third world country is not a walk in the park...so I basically put a barrier between those feelings and the way I was expected to be. Basically I spent those years on a sort of an emotional limbo...One day I had the opportunity and the rest is history

[Loveday]

I started around age 50. Why ?, I really cannot say. It was like everyone I had to take care of had left home or died. For the first time I think I had the time for introspection into my own life - likes and dislikes and the why did I. I always thought mens cloths were totally boring and realized that I had made a lot of suggestions on what to wear to the women in my life. Then it hit me, those suggestion where for myself, so I gave it a try and love dressing up.
It could also be someting physical, I take alot meds for my heart and my whole physical system could be screwed up. The meds have destroyed my sex life and that also could be why.
Whatever the reason is, I am here now and do not think I am going back. I feel driven now and just finding so much happiness and fun !

[Glenda]

I was a late bloomer. I was raised on a farm and ranch in the Texas Panhandle. I had two brothers and learned how to rope and ride and shoot at an early age. If we weren't plowing fields, repairing fences or working cattle, we were playing ball, hunting or fishing. My life was great. Everything in my life was masculine except my Mother, Aunt and Grandmother. I loved playing with my brothers but took great pleasure in sitting in the kitchen listening to my mom, aunt and grandmother talk. I married my high school sweetheart, finished college and started a family. All of our female friends loved to talk to me about their relationships. I suppose the time I spent listening to the women in my life while growing up helped me to understand their feelings. I got along great with all of the guys because I loved playing ball and games, being competitive and doing guy things. My buddies appreciated the fact that their wives or girlfriends would talk to me because it helped relieve some of the stress in their lives. I never really understood why I liked talking to the girls or why they trusted me. That's just the way it was. My life was perfect and I had never considered dressing as a girl. It wasn't something that even crossed my mind.

So much for paradise. My wife left me and our two sons just as the oldest was entering high school and the youngest was still in junior high. I was shocked. I didn't see it coming at all and really did not believe that she was really gone. I thought she would come back and we could live the life I had always imagined. I gave her the space she needed and patiently waited for her to regain her senses. Almost a year later, she suggested therapy and I was ecstatic. At last she wanted to address the issues and problems in our life and we had a chance to be a family again. Wrong! I went to the the (what I thought was marriage counseling) session and was saddened when I realized that my wife had not arranged the sessions to work through what she perceived to be our problems but they were actually to help me deal with the fact that she was going to divorce me. I told the therapist that I was very willing to work through any issues my wife had with our marriage but she told me that wasn't the purpose of the sessions. I guess my wife had married her best friend instead of the man she wanted as a husband. I was crushed. I still loved her and she still loved me. She just didn't want to be married to me. Oh well.

So, all of my friends started fixing me up with every single woman they knew. I took my buddies wives and girlfriends dancing or to concerts or museums........anything the guys didn't want to do........because they trusted me completely and the girls loved having me around. I'd keep the girls out late and be up at sunrise to play golf. My boys were both in high school by this time and would stay with their mother when she insisted but they really preferred being home with me. Through all of this, I had never even considered dressing as a girl. The thought had never entered my mind. And then.........one of the women I was dating wanted me to go to a Halloween party with her. She wanted to go as Ross Perot (presidential candidate) and wanted me to go as Mrs. Doubtfire or The Church Lady (SNL). I said no. It wasn't something that I would feel comfortable doing. She begged, she pleaded........I finally said okay. If I was going to get out of the rut I was in, I needed to step out of my comfort zone. Maybe this would help. It coudn't hurt. I needed to move forward in my life.......so I said yes.

As Halloween approached, she began planning the costumes. She had everything I needed. The dress, bra, panties, wig, make-up.....but I had to buy some shoes (and hose). We went to Payless and I bought a pair of size 10 red heels. I had done my part........the rest was up to her. She insisted I take a bath and shave my legs, chest and mustache. What!!!! I'd worn a mustache since graduating from high school, through 23 years of marriage and throughout my (new found) bachelor life. Alright, it will grow back. I had to do something drastic to move "past" my "past" and find my "new life" and if I was going to dress I would do it right. I soaked in the bathtub and let her pamper me. She shaved my legs and chest and back. I shaved my face (and mustache) and under arms. She painted my toe nails and finger nails. She sat me in front of the dressing mirror. The one in "my house" that my "ex-wife" used to sit in front of and plied me with wine. She was having so much fun and I felt like a total fool. Keep your cool, Glen. It's only for one night. Everyone will have a good laugh and you'll have a wonderful time at the parties.

My girlfriend was a lot more into herself than she was into me. As I sat fidgeting, squirming and licking my lips (Don't lick your lips!!!) because my mouth was so dry, she started applying the make-up, talking incessantly and drinking wine. Every now and then she would look in the mirror, assess her handiwork and start working on me again. Once she'd finished, she said, "Okay, now the wig!" and placed it on my head. She stood back, looked in the mirror to admire her work and her mouth dropped open. She stood there and stared without saying a word. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and at her and back to my reflection. Finally, she stammered, "My God, Glenda! YOU ARE A WOMAN!" I was. I looked so natural. It was as though the person staring back at me in the mirror was someone I'd known all of my life but had never met. My mind was rushing. Thoughts of childhood. Moments with my brothers.......my cousins........my mother, and aunt and grandmother.........all of my friends wives and girlfriends who had this feeling that they could trust me with their innermost thoughts..........all of my friends who trusted me completely with their wives or girlfriends........the person I always known I would meet yet never had. The rest of me was staring back at me in the mirror. I was 46 years old........soon to be 47......had never, ever considered that there was a feminine side of me.......and I knew that now that I had found her, she would never leave.

We went to the parties..........2 or 3........and a couple of the bars I frequented........people I had known for years didn't recognize me. Everyone said I looked and acted so natural. "You do this all of the time, don't you? This can't be your first time! I can't believe you've never done this before!" The night ended at the home of one of my best friends. She and I were born on the same day in the same year. I was still dressed, sitting primly and luxuriating in the feminine feelings I was enjoying. Becky (my friend - not girlfriend) took my hand and said, "So Glenda, you're never going back, are you?" I haven't and I won't. So yes, I guess I'm a late bloomer. By the way, I did soon break up with the girlfriend, although she has a special place in my life.

[Theresa1955]

First I must say some good stories. As for myself, as a young teenager I tried on my mom's panties and enjoyed the smooth and great feeling of nylon. The nylon gene blossomed! As I grew older, the experimentation stopped. However, back in the late seventies, I was in my mid 20s then, I got the urge to wear pantyhose. I even went as far as joining one of those pantyhose clubs that sent you new pantyhose every other month or so. I eventually purchased panties and wore pantyhose and panties on a regular basis. I then stopped. Now at the age 54 I started again and have continued in the closet since. I have girdles, which I am fond of, stockings, panties, dresses and the wardrobe continues to grow. I would like to eventually get out of the closet and move into going out en femme.

[Eryn]

I've always had a fascination for things feminine, but always in bits and pieces.

Got into my 50s, discovered a bit more about myself, and then I wanted the complete package.

So, I guess I've been growing for a long time and finally decided to bloom! :)

[Jorja]

I just hate it when my bloomers are late!!!!

[sandra-leigh]

I did some trying-on when I was a teen, but it wasn't important at the time -- just another experiment by someone with a scientific frame of mind.

Then one day when I was 43, I suddenly realized that I was a cross-dresser. Once I realized that, I also realized that I had been leading up to that without having any idea what I was doing or why. The clues had been there, but I had been too dense to put them together; everything had gotten rationalized.

[erickka]

I too played around with crossdressing since about 6 years old. I was in my late 30's or early 40's when I really came to grips with the whole shebang, and I honestly don't regret it at all. I feel the wait was worth it so that I could really explore my inner self and learn to identify with who I really am, be it my male or female personna. I feel that this has helped me achieve a reasonable "balance" between the two.

[Diane Delaney]

cool cool cool cool cool

[anonymousinmaryland]

Started in junior high school with the girdles and leggings. Until my mom found 'em one day while I was in school. After I moved out, it was all-in-ones and briefers. Wonderful. Then at age 32, my wife bought me my first bra. And it's been bras, girdles, Danskins, and all-in-ones ever since. Oh yes, don't forget the pantyhose. I consider myself an underdresser. But the name isn't important.

[sissystephanie]

No way would anybody consider me a CD Latebloomer! I started wearing panties at age 6, and although there were some rather briefs stops, have been a CD ever since for almost 70 years! I don't wear makeup or a wig anymore since my late wife always took care of those things for me, but I still dress completely enfemme and go out in public!

[Julie Denier]

I went through a few rounds of experimentation in my youth, but it wasn't until last fall, at age 38, that I decided that I finally had to dress all the way to satisfy a lifetime of curiosity and pent-up feelings. Six months later and I have more women's clothes than I have time to wear and I relish my rare alone-time moments to get dressed up.

[Dealight]

Wow, this has been a great thrread to read...thanks everyone so far for sharing your stories. It's amazing how hearing your story from someone else's mouth makes one feel more normal and accepted. I can identify with so much that has been written by other so far. The short version for me is that....I have always had a fetish for things nylon....and over the years would use nylon stockings or pantyhose strictly in a sexual way. My wife has always known about this, and we have had an active and fulfilling marriage (and sex life!) for 30 years...(hard to believe...I'm not THAT old, am I?) However, I never dressed per se until a few years ago, and as some have said above....when you get to a point in life where the kids are grown and you have some privacy....fun things can happen. In thinking about it, it wasn't until about a year ago that I bought my first set of heels (I am 52 this month). I can't believe the wardrobe I have accumulated since then, and also can't believe the seemingly endless mountain of things I have yet to learn! I feel comfortable dressed, and while we still use female clothing as a sexual fetish....it's more of a need for me to be relaxed and feel ......sexy. I don't want to be a woman, I don't want to have breast implants, and I am glad I have my penis! And yet, there is an "ahhhhhh" feeling when Dea gets dressed. I still have many firsts in front of me...things that I know will happen soon, such as going out en femme..... but I am figure I am just going to enjoy the ride. At the very least, it has helped me to understand my wife and my female colleagues a little better....and I have to say it has caused me to respect my wife tremendously more....just because I know a little bit more about what it is like walking in her shoes......pun intended :) .