how much help did you need?

[erica12b]

This is a hard question to put in to the right words, I feel I have
gone just about as far as I can with out help (feedback) when and if
I ever find a gf she will know Erica is a part of me, and I hope she
will or can help Erica be more, So here is the question how much help did you need? Just having some one to talk to, and shop with would help me, I have
all of my friends here and even some online pen pals but none are here
where I can say lets meet and shop or lets have lunch and talk about
ear rings or stuff, I under stand about make up and contouring, shadowing,
but when I try and do it I end up looking stupid, bad preteen attempt lol Am I making any sense with this question today?

[Danni Renee]

Erica, I felt like I needed a lot of help. My makeup was NOT very good and my choice of clothes was not stellar. When I came out to my SO, she helped me a lot. We are geographically separated (7000 miles) and we only saw each other a few times at Christmas. Most of my feedback from her has been over webcam. When I dress, she expects a full modeling show and provides tips. She even watches me walk on camera to provide pointers. We went shopping over Christmas for makeup and she mailed it to me. When it got here, we sat down one day and I put on everything in front of her so she could provide me tips. I make no illusion that the camera shows everything and I look forward to her up close and personal inspection and training but I feel I was able to come a long way just by webcam.

[S. Lisa Smith]

Actually, I needed a lot of help. I also had noone to help me. I went to a Merle Norman that was far away from home and got makeup help. If you fess up to the sales person they probably will help. Most are quite helpful. If you are concerned, call first.

[StaceyJane]

I got lots of help. I din't know any TG people around me so I go my help from the SA's at the clothing store, the girls at Sephora plus the makeup counter in Macys.
People really can be quite helpful if you are open about yourself. Their job is to make a sale and the top management really doesn't care whose dollars are in the cash register.

[Tina B.]

I got a little help on make up from the wife, but mostly it was just practice, practice, practice. no matter how much you are shown, it still comes down to just keep doing it. I also watch make up videos from the different make up companies, and u-tube videos.
Tina B.

[erica12b]

I don’t travail much, if any, and gj is the only town of any size, but its still a small town (every one knows every one) so unless I start to travel out of the area, asking for help here not a good idea, Side note, I did go shopping at one of the second hand stores for a dress, I had some bad excuse, I found one, my boss was telling a story the next week about how his friend owns a second hand store and he was telling him how some guy was shopping for a dress just the week before, cash the only way to buy stuff

[sissystephanie]

Before I got married I rarely went out in public because I was not very good with wigs or makeup. But my dear late wife fixed that! She was an expert with makeup, and also in fixing my wig! I had told her that I was a CD when I proposed to her and she totally accepted me "as is!" I lost her to cancer several years ago, so now I go as a guy in feminine clothes! No wig and no makeup!! Just me dressed enfemme!!

[erica12b]

lol so far every one has had help of some type, ( no man is an island ) i just half to find some way and some one , lol

maybe in 5 or 10 more yr's if im lucky

[Julogden]

I had virtually no help when I was starting out. When I finally began attending Tri Ess meetings, that was my first real feedback from other people, but I was on my own for about 7 years when I first started dressing completely.

Prior to Tri Ess, my only contact with others was snail-mail pen pals. I first started dressing completely in 1978. I did get together one time with another CD in '78 or '79 that I met through the old Empathy Press magazines, but she was looking for more than just a pal, so that didn't happen again.

I taught myself makeup by buying a good book on makeup and read it thoroughly, bought a basic set of brushes, some decent makeup and then practiced a ton. Wigs were hit or miss until I worked up the nerve to visit a wig salon at about the same time I joined Tri Ess. My clothes were all mail order and again, some worked, some didn't, and I couldn't find shoes to fit me. My first pair of shoes were a couple sizes too small, but they were slingback pumps, and I had to just let my heels hang over the back. There was only one store in Chicago that sold large size shoes, so I braved up and went in there one day, and they had me go in back to try on shoes because they didn't want my presence to upset their female customers.

I took photos to judge how I looked, and did my own film processing so I wouldn't have to let my secret out.

Things are so totally different now, there's acceptance and help everywhere, but it looks like most of the organizations in your state are in or around Denver. Maybe try contacting the Tri Ess chapeter in Colorado, click here (http://www.rmtsk.org/), and see if they can help you with meeting others that are in your area. If you join Tri Ess, they'll probably have a member's contact list that you can use. They used to put out a national contact list that was sent to all members back when I was active with them.

Carol

[AKAMichelle]

I don’t travail much, if any, and gj is the only town of any size, but its still a small town (every one knows every one) so unless I start to travel out of the area, asking for help here not a good idea, Side note, I did go shopping at one of the second hand stores for a dress, I had some bad excuse, I found one, my boss was telling a story the next week about how his friend owns a second hand store and he was telling him how some guy was shopping for a dress just the week before, cash the only way to buy stuff

Sounds like you need to come to Denver. I seem to remember that you are coming here soon. Let me know when.

[erica12b]

thanks , i have talked to tri ess, but they are in Denver and not on the western slope , 4 to 5 hr and too passes away

thought about trying to start up a group here but im in the closet , makes it hard to start a group lol , tryed to find a network friend of some of you girls that may be sympithetic (helpful ), in the area but as of yet no luck no mans land lol


and i was planning a trip to denver back in jan , but that was before i had to get the second job , that im now working , so all i can do right now is plan for it someday

i would like to here your storys (i now mine ,or lack of lol)
i like to here how others have helped , and some of the advice that they have given, the times you have had , stuff

[erica12b]

i know some of you have supportive , and not so supportive SO ,, what are your storys of how much they helped or if you did not need any help .

[tricia_uktv]

If you wish for it enough hon, it will happen. I promise. Keep trying and pushing your limits

[Jilmac]

Erica, I was in the closet for so many years that I never was able to ask for help. Both my wives disapproved of my dressing and I didn't know any GGs to confide in so all my knowledge came from experimentation. Before the internet there was very little published about feminization, except for the magazines and periododicals aimed at women and girls. I learned a lot by observation but there were a lot of mistakes along the way.

[erica12b]

i know about making mistakes lol and i have the net lol

but i want to hear the good or funny stories , of success SO's and there l cd's lol

[skirtsuit]

Erica,
In my experience, once I got confident enough to go out it all got easier.
When I look back at my pics, my makeup was pretty horrible at the beginning but going out enabled me to seek proper professional help at department stores (&mac&sephora too) makeup counters. For me, that was most of the help I needed at first.

The other part, your sense of style and 'fashion' is up to you and is the really fun part. I love putting outfits together - it's one of the things that make CDing such a blast.

All the Best

[t-girlxsophie]

I first got help from local Support Group and it started me off in the right way with makeup and wig demo's,I also made friends there that included me in their conversations etc and I never looked back.Sad news today,my oldest friend Joanne,who I met at that first meeting has hung up her (white stilleto) boots,and wont be having any more femme days :( I could write a book on our adventures over the last 10 years Erica
My Wife loves helping me choose outfits,and when I have a clear out she offers advice on what to throw out (usually stuff she hates lol) she does enjoy our shopping trips out we have so much fun,even when we see the same Item we both have our eyes on (she usually wins) if you need tips you should buy Fashion mags and look to see what styles are "in"

[Stephenie S]

Don't be too discouraged, hon.

There is no magic way. This stuff takes practice. Girls spend years of time in front of the mirror as they grow up. Eventually we learn it, but practice is the only way. Practice. If you are alone, there is tons of stuff on the internet, and lots of books and magazines to guide you. But you still need to practice.

Need one on one help? Call your local Mary Kay or Avon representative. If you buy stuff they will gladly spend hours helping you perfect your look. That's what they do for a living.

Need help with clothes? Women dress in outfits. The whole thing. Tops, bottoms, shoes, jewelry, etc. Find a store that sells clothes that you like. Go in and ask the SA for help putting together an outfit. She will help you (duh). That's what she does for a living. Gradually you (and she, because when you find a good store and a SA that you like you go back) will learn what looks good on you and what doesn't. You will gradually learn your sizes and styles.

No stores available? Shop the catalogs. Find a catalog that sells clothes you would like to wear and pick out an outfit. They do all this for you, right? Just leaf through the catalog. Order the clothes, send them back for exchange when they don't fit. It's OK. It's far easier to try on clothes in the store, but I know you may be timid at first.

That's the way it's done. We all do it. You learn this stuff gradually. But if you DO it, you will learn. It just takes a bit of time. You would still have to practice even if someone was there. And the Mary Kay woman will help you there. Practice, hon, practice. Get a bunch of makeup remover (Vaseline straight from the jar works REALLY well, and it's cheap) and when you make a mess take it all off and start again. Practice.

Don't get the Vaseline on your new outfits.

Stephie

[noeleena]

Hi,

As far as it goes Jos & i would go shoping for clothes mainly for her over a good few years long before i told her i was not really all male any way no matter i would pick clothes for her as well that i thought looked nice on her , same with our mail orders , 14 years ago i told her i was . am a woman tho intersex, so we just carryed on except i was buying my own womens clothes tho Jos would pick them for me as well,

& yes the mail order firms all knew about me & i would ask them about colours & so on how things would look like .... some long talks .

Make up same again both Jos & i would check out make up ,& have sat through a make up afternoon & 2 nd time in full veiw of lots of other people .
That was fun till i settled down & said, oh why not , after that it was pretty good.

once i started in the evenings i did my own as i had an eye for my colours & what i was wearing & then i would ask Jos if what id done was good or ...other , what we came up with was do not over do make up less hard colours or over the top,

Iv olive skin so i used very little foundion & little colour make up lighter to suit my skin tone eye shadow just enough to be seen & no more, light shades of lippy not over done maskra & eye brow liner lippy is or was then in the pink range . more darker ,

At the time Jos was finding it hard so really , she hated it , yet backed me up big time .now of cause no problems , im just a woman.

If Jos thought it was to much it was off & do it again till i got it right . now Jos has allways aked me as, she would say does this look right with these clothes not to orange or what ever , for my self now just a nice pinky slightly red lippy , eye brow liner & perfume & thats it every day when i leave our home ,

Now if its a night or day out as extra ill do a light colour eye shadow & a little maskra & a very light face powder & thats it ,

Tho many times ill have nothing at all most days , my compliction & skin is nice & hardly any lines so for my age at 63 years im doing very well . & i do get people ask even with no make up on are you wearing make up....i say no, so there you have it .

I have cream on every morning & most times after a shower if im going out . for me it was about looking after my self so even if my face is more male looking , im still not going to try & be what im not , meaning , over do my make up.

As to make up, between Jos & Dejarn = grand daughter they got down on what i had even nail polish so all i have now is 4 lippys maskra eye shadow eye liner little powder & perfume & lots of cream , a few nail polish, funny how our girls take most of mine even when Kaylyn = daughter, gives me make up for xmas . oh well ...even taken my xmas mirror Kaylyn gave me that nice concave one , arrrrrr.........

...noeleena...

[Vickie_CDTV]

It will take a lot of trial and error to make everything come together, but eventually you will get it right. To learn how to do your makeup, you can always find a wealth of how-to videos on the internet, or buy guides on how to do makeup. Clothes sizes can be tricky, but you are young and skinny so it won't be as hard as it is for someone who has a thick waist that is disproportionate for a woman, and/or has broad shoulders etc. If you buy clothes from eBay, you can measure yourself and buy clothes based on measurement, not size (which is almost useless, since size number is so subjective.)

To be honest, all of this is the easy part, finding that GG girlfriend who is supportive, now that will be a real challenge :(

[tracyburton]

I too need help with make up and a decent wig.


Tracy

[erica12b]

One of the things I really look forward to is the interaction, just having some one to talk to about all
the stuff I did not know I did not know lol Someday I hope, and pray

[suchacutie]

OMG I knew NOTHING!!! After a short time my wife began to realize that the progress of expressing one's feminine self is very close to the stages of growing up as a girl...all the experimentation and just having experiences with all the things that girls learn as they grow up. My wife quite literally led Tina step by step with makup and clothes, correcting here, suggesting there, and giggling when Tina was being just plain silly :) She bought Tina her first skirt, first eyeliner, first mascara....well, the list is long, and she taught Tina the basics of how to do everything, and then let Tina explore, but under her guidance. Tina had thousands of questions that all got answered. I'm sure that Tina would still be in the dark ages of dressing without all the help that she's received, and she is overwhelmingly greatful for this help!

Oh, yes...we sure do make it clear just how important my wife is to all of this, and we reciprocate in every way we can! :)

[sweetjan]

My wife has been my biggest help. I have also checked out some blogs, u-tube, and checked out some crossdressing stores for ideas and some help.

[tamarav]

I may have read this post the wrong way, but we all need help. We need to learn the things that we inherently never learned, makeup, hair, poise and on and on. We, as males, were pretty much lacking of any such thing and must re-think our style to become acceptable to others. We sometimes stay so deep in the pink fog that we don't care what others think or can't see past our own appearance enough to accept other's opinions.

So, we all rely on others to learn from. Makeup lessons, having others style our hair for us and so on. But, many of us use this lack of knowledge to act like such dumb creatures, seeking acceptance from others becomes the norm. I have CDs come to me asking for makeup lessons that never listen to a word I say or ever practice. They just tell me they "can't get the hang of it" or some other inane statement. Fog God's sakes, learn! Practice. Others aren't always going to be around to support your needs or desires.

I recall a CD in California a few years ago that couldn't go anywhere because "someone had not styled her wig". Realizing that the statement may have just been an excuse for fear of going out, but the lack of apparent attempts to style her own hair were sad.

Go to people, ask for help, but listen and take it to heart. And them practice what they said and make up your own interpretation of what they said and try that. None of this comes easy, it requires some real effort on your part.

[erica12b]

Having a teacher and or mentor would be great , having a partner that will share her world priceless ,
that,s all I ever wish for

[Debra Russell]

Never hade help except that I grew up with three older sisters and have been observing and shopping with women all my life -- I help my wife pick out clothes, not that she doesn't have the ability it's just fun, as far as makeup goes it's just something I can do but would like to explore a little more and would be nice to have someone with expertise to help -- thats my next goal -- a professional make over !!

Keep observing and practicing it's fun and educational -- you will go far .... Huggs Debra

[erica12b]

three older sisters ? could be fun, lol i bet you have some good stories, lol and hand me downs