How often do you think about transitioning?

[Jay Cee]

I guess I ask this because I can go a day or two (or more) without it crossing my mind once, but then whump! - there it is again, to varying degrees. I'm thinking that it just has to do with my being busy at work, and working long hours.

Maybe it is true that the brain can only deal with so much at any one time.

[SarahMarie42]

Are you thinking of transitioning or are you in the midst of it? If you're the former, you seem as if you're in the same situation as I am.

[Melody Moore]

After I started living full-time as a female & started hormone therapy I hardly ever think about 'transitioning' as such.
Because I am now living as a woman & feel so free being the person I truly am & surrounded by people who accept me
for who I am. So I can't help but feel happy about that & about how everything seems to be falling into place for me.

There is no thought as such going into 'trying to be a female' because I have just allowed my true inner-self to come
out. I am a woman from the time I wake up until the time I go to sleep. So I believe even though I haven't had my GRS
yet, I believe that the biggest part of my 'transition' has already happened in my head. That is how I feel now anyway.
Everything else I have to deal with are just physiological cosmetic adjustments & modifications I am making to my body.

The only time I think of any part of my transitional process at all now is when I have some aspect of it to deal with, such
as getting prescriptions filled & taking my meds each day. Going to my appointments with my specialist & pyschologist &
when I have to think about my plans for GRS in the future.

Pre-transitioning I guess I thought a lot more about 'transitioning' as such because there were many issues to confront
& deal with. These issues were mostly personal fears with transitioning, so I guess that is why 'transitioning' was often
at the forefront of my thoughts & why it was so consuming of my time pre-transition. Life for me just seems like it is now
starting to settle down to more of a normal life. I also notice that I don't talk about my transition to my friends anymore.

[natasha]

Many many times throughout the day. In fact it is almost always there.

[JillRosalineMayer]

I actually think about it a lot even though I have only just begun my "journey" so to say... I also realize however that it is a life changing process and needs to be carefully considered over a long period of time, and until I figure out what all of this aspect of my life means to me, it'd be foolish to rush into anything.

The only problem is finding that help... I have a feeling a professional would be the best option, but as this is still very much a secret to everyone but myself (and maybe 3 other people), I don't really see any way to get that help... :cry:

[Marissa]

Transitioning? No, the thought does not cross my mind as I'm a crossdressing and happy with being just that. I have at times thought 'what if?' as in what if I was a woman..would life be different?

[Teri Jean]

I think early on in my life it was off and on but when it got to the point where I decided I needed to see a therapist it was every waking moment to the point I did not want to sleep. A year and half after I started my RLE and HRT it rarely is thought about. Like Melody said, you are just living as you should have all your life. A friend told me a while back that I have already transitioned fully and the surgery next month is just a repair of a birth defect.

[Pythos]

I think the only time I ever think about that idea is when someone or something is limiting me in my expression. When I am told "you can't wear that" or "I don't want to see you wearing that out in public", and so on. Women as has been stated have much more freedom when it comes to self expression. Yes I know there are limits on them too, but much of my styles could be worn by a woman with no problems.

The thought of transition goes in my mind, and then right back out.

[Rianna Humble]

Before I began my RLE, I thought about transitioning almost non-stop, but since I started I don't think about it very often because I am too busy getting on with being the woman I always knew I was. I probably think a bit more about it when I go to my support group.

I know there are quite a few things I need to do more work on than I am doing (e.g. my voice), but I rarely give much thought to the actual process I am going through unless I get down.

Again, once I have had my first appointment at the Gender Clinic, I may need to give some additional thought to the next steps but for now, I just get on with it.

[AKAMichelle]

The thought does cross my mind several times a week. I have no idea what direction it will take.

[Aprilrain]

I am never without the awareness that I am TS and I am In the process of transition, which makes me wonder what I'm going to think about once everything is done.

[Lissa Stevens]

Every single minute of every day.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

april...like you , during my life it was basically all i ever thought about ... i thought about it so completely and so much that I didn't even know i was doing it...it wasn't a thought in my mind..It WAS part of my mind..

for what it's worth, one of the worst moments of many transitions is exactly that moment you are talking about...the idea of "changing genders" all of sudden makes no sense when your brain and body become aligned...it's a new world when things that were so exciting and affirming (dressing up, going out, getting maam'ed) for all those years become the actual day to day humdrum life...

[JohnH]

I think of transitioning whenever I am naked while taking a shower - with my relatively small hands, slender fingers, breasts, hips, and waist above the navel it is a little hard to feel like a macho male! Another feminine aspect I have is whenever I have my palms forward and my arms downwards I cannot get my forearms next to my sides. My body in relatively hairless.

If I were a macho male I would really hate my body attributes. But as it is I'm glad I have them.

And now with apparent andropause (and growth of breasts) the testosterone influence has lessened so that my feminine urges are becoming prominent. I increasingly hate the rigid male fashions and the strict plain male grooming protocol.

So it is probably not if, but when I will transition.

Johanna

[Aprilrain]

So what did/do you do about it Kaitlyn? I'm afraid there will be a void where once there was "all this stuff I have to do".

[StaceyJane]

I used to think about transitioning all the time. Now that I have started hormones I still think about it but in a much more practical manner. It's not a dream anymore it's a part of my life.

[BreenaDion]

I dont think about it per say I just do it. Whatever I can afford I just get it done. Like some of you people who have tons of money an complain about some of us who are dirt poor, why we cant afford a simple operation. Like OMG.
Breena.

[JohnH]

I can't even afford the medication with my unemployment and my wife's minimal paying job.

This economic Depression really is crimping a lot of our styles.

Johanna

[Shapeshiffter]

Yes,,I think about it all the time.

[pamela_a]

I've lived as me, a woman, for so long it doesn't even cross my mind. I was done transitioning when my name and gender marker were changed in 2/09.

As Terri said, the only thing that remains is getting my birth defect corrected.

[sandra-leigh]

I think I'm a long way from GRS. I'm not in that mental space, and it doesn't bother me that I might never be. It's hard to imagine me going through that big of a surgery. It isn't a question of "family obligations" or "what the neighbours will think", and it isn't a question of saved money: it is closer to "Why would I want to go through that?!" And then I think, "Oh right, I'd nearly forgotten: it would make it legally easier to use the womens' washroom once I go 24/7". Yes, that is close to the extent of it for me at this time.

Now, "transitioning" in the sense of living publicly as a female, being known as a female: that seems like something I might want to do. I might not think about it for months, and then there might be a day where I start dreaming again just after waking up, and suddenly I get despondent that it isn't happening. So there is part of me that really wants to live as a female -- but that part of me is very quiet when I'm anything but on the borderline between sleeping and waking.

Now not being free to wear skirts and dresses openly to work and at home: that eats at me, but not every day.

My anxieties about living as a woman or dressing at work have calmed down this year... corresponding pretty much to the time I started Spiro, and more so since I started estrogen. I'm less depressed since I started HRT. I also, by nature, spend a lot of time in genderless mental work, and my ability to do that work was greatly improved by the Spiro... and more time spent alone in my head working on what is in front of me probably translates to less time that those pressures are feeding back internally and building up. This leads to the paradox that taking HRT makes me feel less like I need HRT. So perhaps it will turn out that I am biologically gender dystopic but that low-level HRT balances me out.

Or, of course, it could also be the case that now that I am on HRT, I'm worrying about things less and just going ahead and "being me".

Though, like many people, I contain contradictions. For example, with regards to my doctor wanting me to drop HRT (at least in the form I am taking it now), my reaction is sort of a raised eyebrow and a mental "Oh yeah? Well, chuck you, Farley": he hasn't scared me out of it, and he hasn't made me feel that I should dig in my heels and go even farther and faster "to show him!": I'm more annoyed about the bother it is going to be to find another doctor in a location that is as convenient. HRT is what I'm doing now and I will be the judge of whether I want to continue it and how heavily. I'm not wedded to the idea of HRT: I am wedded to the idea that I really need to be out of my depression so I can get on with my life, and HRT does seem to be helping my depression. (Okay, Yes, I am also disappointed that today my nipples are not as tender as they were a couple of days ago, and the day that I detect the breast buds starting to form will be a day of much rejoicing.)

[Laurie Ann]

I think about it all the time it's almost like a movie constantly running in the back of my mind. This has been with me for as long as I can remember.

[Mary Lee]

When don't I think of it!!!

[Donnadcd]

at least 2-3 times an hour.

[Alicia Ryanne]

Every single minute of every day.

What she said :) Same for me!

[prene]

not every minute but a lot.

I have talked to my therapist and we are exploring it. lol

I want it have a body closer to my mind eye of who I am.

[Jannis]

I always am thinking about it. I have started to make myself appear more femme and do not try to hide anything, but no one asks about my appearance. So, I push the envelope a bit further each time. I guess I want to come out and tell the world, but I am still holding it all back. I live in a very conservative community and I know I would be ostracized (sp?) so, I am still somewhat in the closet. I need to see a therapist, but no one sems to know one who is experienced with TGs. I often am very depressed and feel alone in a "room full of people."

[Areyan]

i think about it a lot. when i'm not trying to be in denial for everyone else's sake i am happily me and looking forward to medical transition. this year i'm just lining up all my ducks to get the wheels in motion.


I need to see a therapist, but no one sems to know one who is experienced with TGs. I often am very depressed and feel alone in a "room full of people."

you're on the right track to thinking about it, Jannis. you can do it. if you're a college student or in your 20s as your profile suggests doing it now will really benefit you. if you and your therapist come to the conclusion that transition is right for you, you're at the perfect age now to have a successful result.

[Danni Renee]

I think I am like you. When I am busy at work ro have lots of other things going on it tends to slip from my mind. But the minute things quiet down, there it is. I know I want something different than I have now, I am still determining how to get there. I can push the thoughts aside for a little while but it is not going away (and has not ever really gone away - I just tried to deny it). I hope to reach a point like Melody some day, where being feminine is natural and there is little though if transition because I am already there.

[wanagione]

I think about sometimes, and I am going to have laser for my facial hair next month. I'm happy the way I am right now.

[Carole Cross]

i used to think about it all the time until I started my RLE one year ago. I still think about it sometimes but most of the time I am just being me, a woman. I still have a long way to go in my transition, my voice is almost there and I still need 2 more appointments before I can get hormones - the first of those is just 12 days from now :)