How do you feel when it happens?

[Lucy_Bella]

How do you feel when men hit on you? I am straight and nothing against those who are not but it makes me feel uncomfortable.. Hey I am being honest and don't get me wrong I am just speaking out.. I have not placed a pic on here for sometime so I am not speaking of this site .. NO ...I am not any more special or above any other dresser here either.. I am just some guy who enjoys dressing up ..so what Shoot me!!

But by posting a pic of myself is not an invite to pick up on me for Gods sakes. It creeps me out!! Thats how I feel ,sorry this isn't pointed at anyone I am just wondering if others feel this way? Feel like I have to defend myself everytime I even post anything so sorry if I wonder off topic to much.. I am saying this in the nicest way possiable without and not including or painting myself as a super model or average guy. I do not hold any anger or hate any of those who's sexual preferances is or are different than mine ..

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

Creepy is creepy, transgendered or not. I know plenty of ggs who have horror stories of guys making unwanted advances both online and in their day to day lives, and it just is terrible. What you're seeing is less a "sexual orientation" conflict and more just a glimpse into what women have to deal with all the time.

For me personally I am flattered when a guy hits on me, though it rarely happens, as long as he's a gentleman about it or at least classy. Like I said though, creepy is creepy no matter how I'm dressed.

[t-girlxsophie]

I put my picture up because im proud of who I am,no way at all am I fishing for compliments or anything like that.not that any are likely lol
when am out dressed compliments are nice,but the Tranny Fanciers really freak the hell outta me

Sophie

[Barbara Dugan]

I am really after the guys. There are a few creepy ones out there but when a nice one hit on me I take as a compliment..I think being hit on goes with the territory when we represent ourselves as ladies... I am gay but to be honest I used to creep out when other cd's used to hit on me because I am not into them or gg's ..now I just take it also as a compliment as long it doesn't get too creepy.

[thechic]

Excites me,i say to my self He thinks i a woman yay,then reality sets in and then it creeps me out.

[Phoebe P.]

I haven't been hit on when dressed (b/c I don't go out) or online, but I've been hit on by guys in day to day life. I just said thank you. It's flattering to me when someone finds me attractive whether it's a guy or girl. I don't worry about it.

[Michelle.M]

I'm like any other girl, if they are charming and sincere they get my attention. If they're creepy and horny, I look for the door quickly.

[Cherry Lynn]

Michelle has the same opinion I have. Creepy is creepy whether a GG or Cd.

[Pythos]

I have a flickr album that I really like, but I am constantly blocking guys that think I want to see their block and tackle. I also have had some men leave some lewd comments on my pics...they get blocked too. Now I do like it when I get compliments on my looks or hints on ways to improve them.

I really dislike it when guys feel the need to tell me what sexual acts they would like to do with me. It does creep me out, and I am sure it creeps GGs out too when they get such comments.

[juno]

I would love to look good enough as a woman for a straight guy to hit on me. I am straight, but not at all homophobic, so I don't even care if people think I might be gay or trans. Only my wife needs to know. For anyone else, of any gender, I can just tell them I am taken.

[Michelle.M]

. . . but I am constantly blocking guys that think I want to see their block and tackle.

Oh, that is hilarious! What is it about guys who seem to think that a girl doesn't know what a willy looks like?

[Alice Torn]

Agree with Pythos. I get so blasted sick of seeing guy's tools, and not their faces, on some sites. To me, theyall look the same. Ugly! And, no class! I like it, if I am complimented when out dressed. Have not been hit on yet. Only go out a few times a year.

[Phoebe P.]

I don't even know any sites where people are allowed to show their junk. Have no desire to go to them. Much like in day to day life, I avoid dangerous or scummy areas.

[Michelle.M]

I get so blasted sick of seeing guy's tools, and not their faces, on some sites.

I know! I was on one site for less than 24 hours before I killed my profile and got out. Nearly every single male profile either had no photo or a mugshot of their d!@k. Jeez!

[Lucy_Bella]

Thank you all for the replies..

I guess my next question will be pointed toward the GG's.. Now that I have found myself in a single lifestyle. while out on a date with a lady that I have taken a interest in.. Knowing how it feels to be looked at like a piece of meat,would my signels come accross as a red flag in showing respect to this matter? Would you think I am odd because I do not act like dog with my nose up your azz ? I think I would be acting like a gentelman treating you with respect knowing how it feels ,but it seem that acting like that raises questions in my sexual preferance ..I know thats not the only reason on my behalf I was raised oldd fashion barley a kiss on the first date ..But really ?? Cause I don't act like that makes me gay..True story..

[Allana W]

Living in one of the queerest cities in North America, I've had many friends over the years, some of whom were gay, some lesbian and a lot more who were straight. I never really felt threatened by any of them. Now and then I used to get hit on by gay guys but it never bothered me much. I'd just tell them I was flattered by their attention but that I happen to be straight. Never once had a bad reaction from being honest and friendly. Usually after getting that issue 'straightened out' we would continue with an interesting conversation. Doesn't happen anymore probably because very few gay guys are interested in picking up a somewhat feminine, almost 60 year old guy.

It's amazing what one can learn if the mind is open to others who are different than them. Two of my dearest friends for many years are a lesbian couple, my SO and I attended their wedding (legal here in Canada) several years ago. Now they have two kids and are great parents. After all these years they seem just like any other couple with kids, only they both happen to be women.

Allana

[noeleena]

Hi,



Three times iv had men as you say, hit on . while i was over in Austraila .sydney, at the time about 2 1 / 2 years ago while i was walking around a guy in his car come by me & said in effect hey sexy you wont something , i just turned & walked on & he drove off...

The 2 nd time was at a gay bar in brisbane austraila & a guy came up to me & started talking tho i had been told where we two of us, were going & there were other women there so was okay . he was nice & we just talked about myself as he was interested so no probs there & i met a few others .

The 3 rd time was here christchruch N Z ,
i was invited to as what i thought a freind just to say hi & talk on the net. hmmmm okay he is a dresser tho is some what transvestite certinly not a woman in any way at all. he after a while made pass s at me ineffect of having it on in bed, another friend of his came in very soon after,

she is a natal woman & we hit it off like wed known each other for years our langage & manerisims were just the same nothing male about us the other guy was haveing a few wines & made a point of not wonting to talk with me as id made it very plain i was not interested in a one night stand & after a while he was very rude to me to the point of telling me to get out of his flat.
his friend when we were out side told me she was so embarrised of how he was toward me she said as a friend to me she would rethink haveing any thing to do with him again .

I was surprised some what taken aback & thought well a lesson learned , if he had have made more advances toward me as i had told him im a non sexual & not interested i was going to leave , as it was while i was talking to the other woman he moved over to me put his arms around me & only stoped because i did not respond to him & i carred on talking with the woman he then stoped & got up went to his commputer & would not talk to the woman or i .

& then he told us to get out so we did. his friend was nice & we talked about why he was like that & as im a woman she responed to me as a normal woman does .

with in about 10 mins id sorted out a few things so was very prepeared . i still see a need to be carefull & certinly dont drink as things can change very quickly in situstions like that ,oh the thing is make sure its in the day time as it was for me.

so there you have it so youll quess ill not do that again ,.

...noeleena...

[DeeArel]

I just say thank you, but no thank you.

[NathalieX66]

I just say thank you, but no thank you.

DeeArel said it best.

Gay guys are fact of life, and they are amongst us.
Look at it this way: if you are a woman, just think about how many guys chase you, and offer you drinks, and other propositions, and you weren't interested, so you politely turned him down. Suppose even if you are lesbian, then what would you do? You're just not interested in him.

I was out at a LGBT event last night, and I had one gay guy tell me how corageous I was for having the balls to show up in a dress, and how convincing I looked, but in reality I got the sense he was trying to put on the charm.

[Phoebe P.]

Thank you all for the replies..

I guess my next question will be pointed toward the GG's.. Now that I have found myself in a single lifestyle. while out on a date with a lady that I have taken a interest in.. Knowing how it feels to be looked at like a piece of meat,would my signels come accross as a red flag in showing respect to this matter? Would you think I am odd because I do not act like dog with my nose up your azz ? I think I would be acting like a gentelman treating you with respect knowing how it feels ,but it seem that acting like that raises questions in my sexual preferance ..I know thats not the only reason on my behalf I was raised oldd fashion barley a kiss on the first date ..But really ?? Cause I don't act like that makes me gay..True story..

I'm a guy, but being shy and a gentleman has always worked out well for me. I've never asked out a woman (I'm now married), but never had a problem having a date. Be yourself and be genuine. Women appreciate it.

[CaitlynRenee]

My daughter went to a LBGT even the other night and told me of the 'Moment of Silence' that was held for the victims of violence in our communities. I had to tell her how proud I was of her for going and for participating. I think I've raised her right. She is Bi, at least psychologically, though perhaps not actually. I don't know and it's none of my business. The point I wish to make is that a creep is a creep, be they male or female, straight or gay. Creepy just doesn't cut it.

That being said, I've never had anyone hit on me, though 'I' have initiated conversation with someone I have 'read'. What a hoot to be able to talk to someone, discuss common issues we have and not feel uncomfortable at all.

[Kendra (Tx)]

I have several "gentleman" I chat with on Yahoo...One in particular is certainly a Gentleman....We've been chatting for quite a long time...and he's been nothing but "respectful" to me...He's seen my pics offered up tasteful comments of them....Told me which were his "favorites"....He travels a lot in his job and he even keeps a pic of me with him when he does....He tells me the last thing he likes to see each night before he turns the light out and the first thing he likes to see each morning is my pic....Awwwww...How sweet is that??? :battingeyelashes:... He also keeps a pic of me on his desk in his office which gets favorable comments from male co workers...:o I actually find it VERY, VERY flattering that he does this and thinks of me in such an affectionate way....Not "creepy" at all....He reinforces my femininity and he constantly tells me that I'm nothing BUT a "beautiful woman inside and out".... Thank you, Geoff..:kiss:

http://www.kendra954.com

[ReineD]

I guess my next question will be pointed toward the GG's.. while out on a date with a lady that I have taken a interest in.. Knowing how it feels to be looked at like a piece of meat,would my signels come accross as a red flag in showing respect to this matter?

There's nothing wrong with letting someone know you're interested if you're getting positive vibes from her. The best come-ons are when both people are on the same wave-length and it develops naturally. :)

The creepiness factor comes in when a guy makes inappropriately lewd comments in situations that don't call for it at all. Like the stranger in a check out line making sexually explicit advances, or some random guy at a bar who thinks that his mere presence should make a girl want to have sex with him, especially when she's not giving off those signals.

Back to your OP about getting comments just because you or other CDers post pics? Well, to many cisfolks and certainly to the admirers/chasers, usually putting a picture up means that you are fishing, especially if it is suggestive, even mildly so. It took me the longest time to understand that CDers wearing certain things and in certain poses are not necessarily looking for sex. As a GG, this is exactly what I'd be looking for if I decided to put myself out there that way. I do understand it now, but I can see why some people don't.

Also, I imagine there are people here and on Flickr who look for sex when they put their own pics up, so naturally they'll read their same motives in everyone else. :p

[Presh GG]

I'm with Reine, Lucy.

If I weren't happily married to Tea, I'd consider you a real catch because you are so kind to the women.... Well I still do , but you know what I mean.

Presh GG

[Cari]

I take it as a complement which it is; and politely let them know I'm not interested.
If they get rude I return it.

I try to treat them like I want to be treated when I ask a girl out :-)

[Chickhe]

I'm a social klutz so I probably would not realize I was being hit on until much later. My thoughts a few years ago before I really became comfortable with myself would have been shock and fear, but now I respect others for what they are and I would be flattered. It doesn't matter what they think because I am secure in my own sexuality. In fact, maybe I'm a tease, but I'm so facinated by the reactions people have based only on my appearance that I would tend to have some fun with them...but no going beyond any short social conversation. For example, in a bar my wife and I were chatted up and we just let the guy talk with us and another guy was just a clown but friendly and he said he would bump and grind with us on the dance floor... a little fun is okay, but keep your hands off and it ends there.

[Duana]

I've been out 3x and been hit on 3x. It makes me very uncomfortable. The first time the guy just said hi and I said hi back but my GF got bent out of shape because I brushed my hair out of my face in a Flirty way. I did not mean to. So we talked about how to handle it the next time. And I had my opportunity.

We were at a TG bar outside having a beer. This guy walks past me then says "wow!" And puts his hand on my lower back and asks my name. I did NOT like being touched and forced to converse. I said, "I'm straight."

He's like, "that's cool, I'm Kevin." And sticks his hand out to shake. I shake it and say my name and he takes off. I hated every minute of it.

The last time, we went to a gay country bar. When I asked for a beer, the bartender asked our names then as I say mine, going to shake, he kisses my freaking hand. I felt whiskers! It grossed me out. I want guys to just leave me the F alone.

[Stephanie47]

I'm an in-home cross dresser or at best take a drive or walk at night. As a straight male I have been approached by men. If I was so inclined, some would have been interesting. Some were obvious perverts. What really got me upset was a gay guy sizing up my minor son at a mall. The only thing that saved his sorry butt was having my young daughter in tow. Otherwise I would have beat the crap out of him. There is a time and place for everything. Hitting on anybody other than in a pick up environment is not classy. A smile is enough. Cat calls and above are not welcomed.

If I was passable I would take the gentled nod and smile as a compliment.

[Rachaelb64]

I've only been hit on once, the guy was drunk and I was in fancy dress for a chairty event, to which my ex-wife and friends thought was very funny!

These days i just get stared at, to which my GF just stares back, she's got one mean stare :D

[the_me]

I wish I got hit on more... then again... should probably just go out more and I will! But I'm an attention addict, and obviously don't represent the majority of people here.

[Julie Rose]

I was at Jacques in Boston once and this guy wouldn't stop hitting on me. I had been there a few times alone before, but he really honed in on me and kept propositioning me.
While it felt complimentary at first, it became a bit creepy as he wouldn't take no for an answer. When he offered me money, I had to tell him that I wasn't gong to talk to him anymore.
He eventually gave up and moved on. I made it out of there and into a cab safely, later on. Looking back, I wonder if he wasn't a plain clothes cop, trying to bust me for prostitution.
Since then, I've only gone there with my gg friend.

[Kaz]

Big thread! I haven't managed to read it all as I have limited time, but I do want to contribute...

I only do this site as it has been all I have needed, but I have been hit upon once by one of us, which was wierd, if polite...

I don't openly court this stuff, but I do relate to things as they happen. On several external venturings I did get some notice... but I just assumed they has sussed me as a CD.. it never occurred to me that I might have been hit on.

So now to the theoretical... forgive me but I am an academic... I would like to be hit on in a nice way... not the full on meat adventure that lots of guys seem to do.. and now to the admission...

I have registered on ONE site as a female to see (from an academic viewpoint) how I get hit on and I have got to say it is awful! Maybe I am just way too old... but the crap that girls get from "blokes" I find awesome... It is a real experience that has totally shaped my attitiudes to gender interaction. I may have used subterfuge and it certainly wasn't good academic research, but the result shocked me, as in my whole male existence I have never treated women like this.. and now the big issue

If this is how males treat women in the general "out there world", is there any reason why they shouldn't be castrtaed and generally speaking done away with? OK radical...sorry Reine!.. but you KNOW what I mean!

I am really glad I have been a protective person over the years with my family...

Hmmm... not sure if I have just taken this off thread!?

[AKAMichelle]

Uncomfortable to the say the least.

[HannahF6]

I've never been asked for a date, except online, but I've had admiring looks, and I've noticed when guys on the street have checked out my legs. I take it as a compliment and leave it at that. Online I've had a few guys want to date me, not knowing I'm not exactly as I appear. At least one guy I know pinned up a picture of me in his office cubicle. Some of these guys seem to be older guys just looking for feminine company and if I can make them feel good, that's OK.

Hannah

[ReineD]

If this is how males treat women in the general "out there world", is there any reason why they shouldn't be castrtaed and generally speaking done away with? OK radical...sorry Reine!.. but you KNOW what I mean!

Hmmm ... Now, there's a thought! :D

But seriously, we're taught from an early age to not put ourselves in compromising situations in order to avoid unpleasant come-ons. The measures differ depending on the culture and generation, but even here among the under 25 year olds there is the idea that you will be treated like a "skank" (as one liberal-minded, young art-class mate told me recently), if you go out dressed like one.

If a girl wants undue attention, all she has to do is make herself a target with the type of clothing and makeup she chooses, or where she chooses to hang-out, and this includes putting herself out there on the internet. It's not rocket science. :p

And the vibes that someone gives out speak even louder than the makeup, clothes, or choice of hang-outs. If a girl wants to be noticed, she is constantly checking to see if she IS being noticed and this includes checking out the guys who are in the proximity. This sends out the "look at me, I'm available" signals.

Girls do know how to avoid the attention if they don't want it. It's not 100% fool-proof (there is the rare guy with the huge ego who cannot read social cues), but for the most part, women who don't want to be propositioned manage quite nicely to go to the grocery store in peace. :)

[Vanessac48]

I understand where you are coming from. I get hit on quite frequently when I'm out. It used to bother me, but now I have learned to accept the fact that I am presenting myself that way, so why should I expect it to be any different. At the end of the day it feels good just from the standpoint that I pulled it off, I really look like an atractive women, what could be better than that?

[ReineD]

I understand where you are coming from. I get hit on quite frequently when I'm out. It used to bother me, but now I have learned to accept the fact that I am presenting myself that way, so why should I expect it to be any different. At the end of the day it feels good just from the standpoint that I pulled it off, I really look like an atractive women, what could be better than that?

Vanessa, thanks for being candid, and I'm glad you're enjoying yourself when you go out! :)

I'm sure you are very attractive, but I want to point something out to you and others: getting hit on is less a function of attractiveness than it is perceived availability. A girl who is not beautiful (face or body-wise) but who is bold and sends out the right signals will get a lot more attention than the beautiful, demure, wall flower.

[StarrOfDelite]

From my perspective it all depends on the circumstances.

If I'm at a bar where there are fiftyish G-Girls hanging out, and I'm hit on by a guy who could also chase them, then I'm thrilled when he comes on to me instead. I have no illusions that but for the darkness of Manhattan bars in general, and the alcohol-consumed factor, that I'd be very attractive, but it is fun. To paraphrase ReineD's comments, if you're bold, flirty a bit tarty, and project the aura of availability, then you will attract interest if that is your intent. I fondly remember being at a dark, smokey bar at a ski lodge during the winter solstice period, wearing a pair of stretchy ski pants and a bright red parka, and joking with the bartender when a guy joined in and came on to me. Harmless fun, and I got a couple of drinks free in exchange for a bit of slightly ribald banter.

If a hetero CD'er enters a bar or place like that on Thursday or Friday night, when the Meat Market business is going to be in full swing, then I think they're being hyper-sensitive if some male who is playing the game makes a pass. They should go watch another season of Sex and the City re-runs.

On the other hand, there are just circumstances where flirting or making comments just isn't appropriate at all. It hasn't happened, but I'm sure that if some guy came on to me on the subway then I would not be happy. It's the 'invasion of my space' issue that is involved. The worst I've dealt with is when I was a bit tipsy at three/three-thirty a.m. and a limo driver offered to waive the fare if .....well you can guess that one . Declined, and it did scare me and upset me. Other scary and upsetting incidents have involved getting propositioned by 'straight' guys who wanted me when I was in masculine mode. There's a lot more of that going on than most people would imagine. May the Prime Mover Unmoved never permit the wives to know what their suburbanite husbands are doing at business conventions and seminars!

[Mistybtm]

I love it it makes me feel wanted and sexy and had a few great dates and looking forward to more.

[nicoletta_cd]

i take it as a compliment and like it if a guy hits on me. even before when i was totally straight, i thought it was awesome if i guy considered me attractive enough to hit on.

[Lucy_Bella]

I'm with Reine, Lucy.

If I weren't happily married to Tea, I'd consider you a real catch because you are so kind to the women.... Well I still do , but you know what I mean.

Presh GG

That is both sweet and flattering :)... Thanks Presh , very nice of you to say..

[Farrah]

Like someone said, It comes with the territory. I take it as a compliment and I keep moving. Im straight, but I do present as female some times, so its going to happen, and I just go with it....THats my 2 cents....

[Paula Siemen]

Like it says in the song......."The girls all get prettier at closing time!"

[Chun-Li]

Ignore them. I made the mistake a few times being nice but not showing interest back. I was stalked for weeks afterward. Never again. I CD because I love girls too much, and that being dressed kinda meshes my male/female ego together and it's much like being with a girl but no hassle involved. IF that makes any sense lol.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

As long as the compliments are tasteful and not vulgar, creepy, or perverted. I like recieving compliments from anyone GM or GG.

Same while in male mode a compliment is a compliment be it from guy or girl and my massive inflated male ego enjoys every minute of it. I do not hide the fact that I'm married and my love and affection is centered towards the "Mrs." and the "Mrs." only and will be so until the end of time.

[UNDERDRESSER]

I would love to look good enough as a woman for a straight guy to hit on me. I am straight, but not at all homophobic, so I don't even care if people think I might be gay or trans. Only my wife needs to know. For anyone else, of any gender, I can just tell them I am taken.I think I'm in the same boat, if i was dressed and got a compliment or classy hit, I'd just say thanks but no thanks. i have been hit on while in drab ( but in bike tights, I assume he thought I was gay ) i just gently brushed him off.

[StevieTV]

I am really after the guys. There are a few creepy ones out there but when a nice one hit on me I take as a compliment..I think being hit on goes with the territory when we represent ourselves as ladies... I am gay but to be honest I used to creep out when other cd's used to hit on me because I am not into them or gg's ..now I just take it also as a compliment as long it doesn't get too creepy.

I can't agree with you more. You've summed up my feelings all too well.

[tamarav]

I have been doing this for quite a long time, and yes, I have had men hit on me. I generally think of it as a compliment, unless they are just creeps.

I work in front of a big glass window doing hair most of the day. I have had guys walk by, back up, stare, and now and then, have one come through the door to talk with me. I appreciate that they think I look good and that I was able to get their attention, but it all depends on how they handle themselves. A nice guy can talk with me all he wants if I am receptive. They will find out quickly enough that I am not interested in any action with them.

Those men that think a compliment buys them intimate time with me are woefully dissappointed. On my work station I have some plaques and a few trophies from my Karate and other martial arts activities. If the guy is a creep I simply ask him to leave or I assist him to the door.

A male friend years ago would simply walk up to attractive women and ask them to bed. I never saw him have any success and asking him why he did it, her replied, "Out of every 100 women I ask, at least 4 comply. How are your odds?" What a hole! But, he was right. Many women are desperate for attention, as are men, and will respond to some men's advances. (Men on the other hand will repond about 97.777% of the time...)

All women, and I think I am fairly right on the statement, will get hit on in their lifetime. Many times by creeps, but occassionally by a nice guy. It is up to the woman to sort out the keepers from the others, that is if they are looking for.

[Dahlia T]

Ignore them. I made the mistake a few times being nice but not showing interest back. I was stalked for weeks afterward. Never again. I CD because I love girls too much, and that being dressed kinda meshes my male/female ego together and it's much like being with a girl but no hassle involved. IF that makes any sense lol.


I can totally relate, that is exactly how I feel and why I dress. I am so into women that I want to emulate them.

[Billie Jean]

The only people who have hit on me while dressed were GGs. One told me that she liked girls but thought my outfit was great on me. The other was a little drunk to say the least but I still enjoyed them flirting with me. Billie Jean

[5150 Girl]

It's kinda 2 fold... On the one hand it is a little creepy. But on the other hand, it's quite flattering to be passable enough to get hit on.
There was this one guy, one time that picked me up, LITERLY!!! I was up on a barstool, and I told him to leave me alone, and when I went to get down, he snached me off the stool, danced arround the room with me and finaly sat me down on the bar.