Boy VS Girl (What really changes)

[AKAMichelle]

I have read so many posts over the years about what would change if we were born as a female. I have avoided those questions because those are just dreams. Fact is we were born the way we are and nothing will ever change that. So it got me thinking about what really changes when we transition and start living as a female. So I did a lot of soul searching and came up with these answers.

Things that don't change:

We still have to work so we will continue to show up everyday. The work will continue to be boring or exciting but little will change.
We still have to eat so we will continue doing that everyday, but we might have to watch out weight more than before.
We will still go to many of the same places that we went before.
We still will go to bed and wake up every morning. But most likely we will get less sleep because we have to get up earlier each day to put on our makeup and do our hair before heading to work.
We will still need to go grocery and clothes shopping. We just might have more fun doing it and it is definitely cheaper as a guy.
Things that do change:
We will take longer to get dressed everyday for work. We will spend more time everyday on our appearance than in male mode.
Hopefully we will be fully accepted into the female role.
We will spend more time shopping for clothes and spend a larger part of our budget on our look. From beauty products designed for your face to those perfect pair of shoes.
Life always seems greener on the other side but when you finally start realizing that little changes when we transition. Those who must transition deal with discrimination and alienation from employers and friends. They risk everything they have just to fix themselves. I am thankful that I don't find it necessary to transition, but I think putting everything into perspective is very important.

I feel like many of us are still looking through the rose colored glasses instead of being thankful that we born in such a way that we get to enjoy both sides. We are the lucky ones and I just thought I would point it out.

P.S. This was not meant to disparge TS. Ya'll have taught me a lot by being your friends to realize that only a few things change. Most of the changes are on the inside and the way you then see the outside. They finally match and you are at peace. But cd'ers never have that requirement or conflict so I was pointing out the differences.

[christinac]

Interesting point of view.

[Kate Simmons]

When we really find ourselves Hon, we realize that things don't change as much as they remain the same, even if we switch "teams".:)

[AKAMichelle]

When we really find ourselves Hon, we realize that things don't change as much as they remain the same, even if we switch "teams".:)

Transitioning changes things on the inside more than the outside. Yes you get a surgery but most of the battles are mental. Those of us who don't need to transition have it easy. We can move between the 2 sexes and hide from those we don't want to know. TS have no where to hide.

I just think sometimes we should be thankful of where we fit in the spectrum.

[Eryn]

(Please take the following with a bit of humor)

One thing that does change:

You'll spend less time fixing cars, plumbing, appliances, computers, etc. because people won't assume that your Y chromosome automatically means that you know how and enjoy doing so.

[kellycan27]

You will do all of those thing while being much happier, because you are doin them as the woman you should have been at birth. There is no comparrison to they way I used to feel and how I feel now. Yes, you still have to go through the motions, but they are a joy now ( for the most part). it's like being re-born, most of those routine things that I did aren't the same in as much as I am treated much differently now. I am treated as a woman. it's different, it's hard to explain other than to say that I am treated much better as a woman than as a man. It's empowering. Women have power. It may even be something that one needs to experience in order to understand. I know I am not doing a very good job of trying to explain it.
Kel

[Steph.TS]

I realize there is more work involved, but it's rewarded by looking good and feeling better about yourself. men's don't put the effort into their look because there is little point, and society tells us only women should care about thier looks. men lack curves, soft skin and are told many things we shouldn't do, I'm terrified to shave my arms, because guys might make fun of me... it's my view that men has turned themselves in to 2D characters, with a limited idea of what it means to be a man, and it seems to be more limited as time goes on, I tried of the shrinking box, I'm jumping out of the box and kicking it to the side, I want to me be. hard work yes, getting up earlier will mean going to bed earlier, make up is an art, one that I would love to master one day. choosing your clothes each day so as to look good is important, I want to feel sexy, to feel like I'm desirable.

maybe I can't fully express it, but there is so much I want to do, as a woman and it feels like living as a man (even if it is easier) feels like a prison of sorts if that makes any sense...

[SarahMarie42]

I don't know...I feel like I'm incarcerated and I'm sick of it. I feel so awkward as a guy.

[Patty B.]

Good insightful post michelle.

[eluuzion]

Curb appeal, tunnel vision, selective perception, magical thinking, "buyer's remorse", concrete thinking, self-deception, catastrophic thinking, mirages, short-term vs long-term imagery, illusions of grandeur, and other "white picket fence solutions" have influenced all of us at one time or another in life. It can cloud our ability to rationally and logically consider all of the intricate details involved in the outcomes of our decisions. Particularly those emotion-packed decisions that will affect our daily life after we have committed to our elected path.

It is certainly understandable that the "full" transition process contains the requirement of living the daily life of the preferred "sex" for a considerable amount of time, prior to proceeding with the critical parts of the physical transition. It allows a person to experience all of those aspects of daily life that one could not possibly assemble and investigate without actually living it. We often forget all of those "little" details that become so important later, after the initial thrill of the process fades into a normal lifestyle.

Yes, I agree, there are many differences between wading in and diving in. Both have their pros and cons...

It is a personal decision that only the explorer can make on their own.

Such is life...:daydreaming:

:love:

[noeleena]

Hi
What changes , i did building both as male & female , i drive the same heavy duty trucks then as now i enjoy the same things plus a few more , sewing then as now over all not a lot of changes as to things iv done & do . looking after my self is the same
What has changed im involved with groups of people i meet more people & an accepted by many more people because im able to express my self ,
that i never could before yes of cause there are changes that take place ,

if it was about just the, boy to girl then no that is not a change for me from birth. that has allways been the same , for me its more about expressing my self with out a boundry, thats the real change & i really do love that. of cause with that comes acceptance .

...noeleena...

[AKAMichelle]

You will do all of those thing while being much happier, because you are doin them as the woman you should have been at birth. There is no comparrison to they way I used to feel and how I feel now. Yes, you still have to go through the motions, but they are a joy now ( for the most part). it's like being re-born, most of those routine things that I did aren't the same in as much as I am treated much differently now. I am treated as a woman. it's different, it's hard to explain other than to say that I am treated much better as a woman than as a man. It's empowering. Women have power. It may even be something that one needs to experience in order to understand. I know I am not doing a very good job of trying to explain it.
Kel

Kelly you are definitely one of those people who had to change, but almost everything you said is about your mental health. For those that don't feel the requirement to transition completely, I wanted to point out how lucky we were. We can move along the spectrum without any conflict and deal with life easier. It is much harder to navigate life when you have to stay on one side with the feelings all of us share.

[RenneB]

Great thread girl and I'll try to add a few things that have been different for me between malemode and en femm.

MM - wake up through the sweat pants on, stomp off to the rest room and put a brush to my hair and I'm ready to drive the biological replacements to school. Work on that four wheeled thing in the garage all day, sanding, grinding and getting dirty. Come in wash up, change sweat pants and shirt for something that doesn't smell too bad and it's dinner time. Watch some car racing on tv and go to bed.

En Femm - SO and Offspring are out of the house. Run down stairs open up the comfy clothes hidden in the basement. Pick out a great outfit, forms, bra, makeup kit and run upstairs. Shower, shave, lotion everywhere, makeup, and then get dressed. Put hair on, fix makeup, do nails while watching Cathy Lee. Back into bathroom, fix make up, do eyes. Walk gingerly downstairs in heels, making sure that hands are on railing and check doorstep for package of stuff from the *bay store. Sit at 'puter and check e-mails, watch list for stuff that is coming up for bid. Back to tv, stop by bathroom check makeup and watch HSN for cool fashions....

I love both aspects of my life, but would rather do en femm 24/7. To do that would mean giving up everything.. house, job, etc. as this small town doesn't have a clue and isn't ready for Renne.. So until, I win the lottery, it's two lives for me.

Okay, now for the real difference between M and F. Guys walk down the street and check out everything that walks like a GG and, at least for me, checks out the breast shape. As a guy, I never get a look as I'm just your average run of the milll WASP. As for GG, everyone watches you.

Enough random thoughts for now, but a great thread, you got me thinkin'.

Renne....

[kellycan27]

Kelly you are definitely one of those people who had to change, but almost everything you said is about your mental health. For those that don't feel the requirement to transition completely, I wanted to point out how lucky we were. We can move along the spectrum without any conflict and deal with life easier. It is much harder to navigate life when you have to stay on one side with the feelings all of us share.


I think I get it ... I suppose it would be easier if in fact one doesn't wish to fully transition