My favorite internet therapist

[Kaitlyn Michele]

I find myself posting a link over and over ...it's to a review of development in ts people by dr anne vitale...forgive me for reposting, but i see so many new people..

the reason i like dr vitale is that she is so simple and direct in her writing, and she clearly discusses things in a way that touch me deeply, but also discusses things in a way that cisgendered people can relate too..

the link i tend to post is this
http://www.avitale.com/developmentalreview.htm

over many years, i stumbled around the internet, in heels around dark hotels and around my mind...when i read that article, i recall just bursting into tears at the fate of the people at the end of that article...i know myself, and i knew in my soul that if i didn't transition, i would end up like the guy in that note, "comforted" in old age....and i just knew that NO F'ing way was i going to regret living my life...

anyway...i was checking my links today and i stumbled on this as well..

http://www.avitale.com/TNotelist.htm

again dr vitale's notes..... i thought they might be helpful to some folks...not because she is the only expert out there, but because i find her writing to be so clear and accessible...i know lots of you look for therapists and she covers that issue and provides a little therapy herself, so i thought i would share it..

all thebest!

[sandra-leigh]

(Re: G3, "Cloistered Males")

"In the hope of ridding themselves of their dysphoria they tend to invest heavily in typical male activities."

I can see a bunch of similarities between what Dr Vitale describes as G3, but I have serious doubts on correctness of the above characterization. My academic success set me apart from the "typical male" and led to a considerable social ostracism. That academic success wasn't because I was working hard to take on a role: I was simply a natural who never had to struggle for good grades and who was unable to not do well because I never learned how to play a role to fit in. My mother's side is bright; I am the academic laggart amongst them, not having a post-graduate degree.

I did not "invest heavily" in an academic role because it was masculine: I invested heavily in an academic role because using my brain to help other people gives me a lot of satisfaction. That and the fact that the academic route didn't require me to wear a tie :)

[Deborah]

Can relate to a lot of what she says. :)

[Jeanna]

These really great links. Thank you.

[Alicia Ryanne]

(Re: G3, "Cloistered Males")

"In the hope of ridding themselves of their dysphoria they tend to invest heavily in typical male activities."


OMG I sooo did that. I probably have over $40,000 worth of r/c airplane stuff in my basement. Yeah...Im not kidding. The problem is.....I would never even get close to that trying to sell some of it....and i still enjoy flying the model planes so..... shrugs shoulders.

[VanessaVW]

Can relate to a lot of what she says. :)

Same here. I'm clearly G3. Oh well.

[ReineD]

What a wonderful resource, Kaitlyn, thank you! I've bookmarked the bottom link for future reading.

I have a question. Do you know if Dr. Vitale is a natal female or a transwoman? She seems to have unusual insight and her writing isn't clinical.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

hmmm.. i actually don't know. i agree she has some insight that seems to come from "knowing".

[Rianna Humble]

Both of those links were very interesting and thought provoking.

My biggest difficulty is deciding where I would fit. My past actions in trying to pretend I was male would tend to put me in G3, but I didn't invest in traditionally male activities. On the relationship level, I would probably be seen as G1 as I have never been able to envisage myself as a "boyfriend" or as a "husband" and in my first career, I couldn't force myself to climb the greasy pole.

She is right though that the more I tried to hide from myself, the worse it became.

[ReineD]

hmmm.. i actually don't know. i agree she has some insight that seems to come from "knowing".

I found a reference, on Lynn Conway's website:

http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/TSsuccesses/TSgallery3.html (scroll down)

She had SRS in 1980.

This is her own website: http://www.avitale.com/MenuPage.html

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Thnx Reine! I wonder what she'd say about the study

[MelissaSue]

Thank you for reposting this, Kaitlyn! I hadn't seen it...

[Beth-Lock]

I had explored her postings before but the bookmarks are on another computer, so i had forgotten about it. Thanks for reminding me.

[Starling]

Thanks, Kaitlyn. Dr. Vitale's writings bolster my determination to act more boldly.

:) Lallie