Slow but moving forward!

[Longing2be-Trisha]

Hi Ladies!

Today I saw my therapist with my wife, now that she is back home to work on our marriage. We had a nice session were we came a little closer in understanding were each of us stand. My wife is supporting me to a point, but is concerned about what others will think if I start to look like a woman. She also knows I try to harm myself physically down there with out leaving marks, I tolerate pain to a very high degree. She also knows how much I love her and need to be with her. Yes at first she was excepting and then ran to her folks house for 3 weeks, but she to wants to make our marriage work and is doing her very best to understand how I could feel this way so she came home.

We are just taking it one day at a time doing our best to deal with my longing to let the woman out I want to be. All I know since I came out my severe shacking has dropped 95% and I am at such peace finally I can't even describe the feeling. I know it is just a start for me and my wife, but it will be a long road with good days and really bad days. I just want the outside to match the inside, so it is time to stop being scared of what others say and stand up for who I really am!


Love and Hugs!!

[Kaitlyn Michele]

:hugs:

that's a really big deal.. you and your wife should be proud to face up to all the issues this will bring up for you...

be smart, stop hurting yourself, love your wife, don't make promises because you may not be able to keep them

[AKAMichelle]

Good luck to you in your jouney. Keep us updated on your progress.

[FAVORITE HEELS]

Sounds like you are taking the right steps to improve your marriage.Do you find the therapist has some experience with crossdressing?I have heard that there are very few that do and are able to help.I heard most are learning from there patients and that concerns me.I find that to folks here on this site have great things to say and you are free to take what info you need to accmplish what needs to be said to you SO.

[Longing2be-Trisha]

I know there is one not to far from me but my wife wants me to see a christian based physiologist. We will see how it goes, so far she was glad I could be so open and honest and lay all my cards on the table telling her what I want and feel. Will keep you posted!

Hugs and Kisses to all of you!

[Sejd]

Hi Trisha
I start with your quote: I just want the outside to match the inside, so it is time to stop being scared of what others say. That's cool, I feeel the same way. The problem is that you cannot really put that frase to your wife ! You really have to care about what she thinks and how the two of you are going to proceed if it is going to work. I am in 100 % agreement with you that everyone around is are most often stuck in this "OMG" behavior about Trans Gender issues. Mostly, it is because they don't understand it. I strongly suggest that you tone down your self assertedness and turn up your listening skills for your wife. Good luck.
hugs
Sejd

[Katesback]

Ok so if you want to spend 5-30 years beating around the bush to satisfy your wife and suffering yourself then thats fine. You wont be the first to fight the inevitable.

Now on the other hand you can make a decision to do what YOU have to do and move on. This involves telling your wife what your going to do because your a girl and your sorry but you have to be the person you are.

I have seen your story 1000 times. It always involves a lot of pain, it nearly always involves an eventual divorce, and it is just a matter of time as to what will happen. What really sucks is that many ts girls wait till thier 60s and then finally break down and transition and in my opinion thats a freaking sad story.

I probably should not have responded to this post since in reality its the same as the previous 1000 posts about fear of doing what you have to do. Names are different but the story is always the same. Thats why so very few ever REALLY transition. The rest wallow in pain for god knows how long. So sad.

[Kelsy]

You sure know how to boil it down Kate. What you say is the absolute truth and I am one of those sad losers
that didn't have the guts to do it. I am still standing on the edge of the nest unable to step off and fly for fear of hurting other people.
Oh I flap my wings plenty but FEAR is my cage. So what's the use in living? I'm so glad you're free.

Kelsy

[Kaitlyn Michele]

gawd kate i'm glad you responded because its basically a perfect post...

[Stephenie S]

I'm not sure why your wife wanted to see a physiologist.

Physiology is a branch of biology. And a "Christian" physiologist? What difference would that make?

Stephie

[Longing2be-Trisha]

I was already seeing one, but she wants one that is faith based. I know it is silly to humor her, but she is more at easy talking about this that way. The church we go to is not that excepting and that is a whole other issue. I love all your responses ladies keep it up! I value all input, for it gives me something to think about.

[pamela_a]

Tricia, As harsh as Kate may have been they're words that are absolutely true and needed to be said and understood. YOU ARE IMPORTANT. You're needs are just as real and just as important as the wants and needs of everyone else. Suffering for the sake of keeping everyone else happy is neither honorable nor noble. In time it usually turns into hatred and resentment then everything is lost anyway.

Based on your location it looks like you're less than an hour away from me. If you need someone to talk to let me know.

[Sophora]

I was already seeing one, but she wants one that is faith based. I know it is silly to humor her, but she is more at easy talking about this that way. The church we go to is not that excepting and that is a whole other issue. I love all your responses ladies keep it up! I value all input, for it gives me something to think about.

If you need someone to talk to. Remember I am an hour away from you. I will be here for you whenever.

BIG HUGS!!!!

[Aprilrain]

Faith based therapy sounds like a contradiction in terms to me but what do I know. Being raised Catholic disabused me of any notions that i might be interested in church but hey thats just me, each to her own! I suppose if the faith based therapist is unitarian or something like that you might have a chance of not "being possessed by satan" otherwise I'd be leery. One of my friends was gay before her transition and "found religion" they tried to "cure" her of homosexuality. I guess it worked now she's a heterosexual female! Though I'm certain that is not what they had in mind.

[Jay Cee]

I echo others concern about faith based counselling. They aren't all bad, but beware of being offered a "cure" for being transgendered or transexual (as if it was an illness :rolleyes:)

Wishing you all the best, Trisha.

[Longing2be-Trisha]

Faith based therapy is not run by churches it means the counselors are christians and they use their beliefs to help them treat the patients. Then at the end of the session they pray fort wisdom and guidance to help the patient the best way possible. There is no saying is a sin or abomination to God. I will save what Jesus was sent here to do for the religious group.

Hugs

[erika130]

I don't know much about your story, but Congratulations on this very important step forward :) really, best of wishes to you & your wife in this tricky process