Passing Poll

[britney1]

I am thinking about trying to pass in the next couple of months, and I was just curious how many cd girls have tried to pass before. Please feel free to comment on your experiences and some pointers we all could might use.

[Wendy me]

well i would think most at one time or a nouther ...but some don't care and thats ok too...........

[Maddie Knight]

I've been out loads and passed.
Next time your out just look at the people walking around, if they can go out looking like that we have no trouble passing.
I find busy places are easyer because people are too busy thinking about where they are going to notice us.

[Billijo49504]

Sure!! Probably Saturday and Sunday. A lot of days I'm dressed in womens clothes, but without the wig and makeup. Actually, I don't own any mens jeans. Most people don't pay attention to the little give aways. Like which way the shirt buttons. As a guest on Martha's show said, anyone can be a redhead, I'll have to dig out the red wig. See ya in the stores.

[Stephanie Mancini]

I go out dressed all the time alone ,with friends and sometimes with my wife and have had no problems at all, to be honest people are too busy getting on with their own lives to notice the odd cd girl in their midst, the trick is to blend in so wear appropriate clothes and save the mini skirts for behind closed doors


Steph

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

As I mentioned in my shopping adventure (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=15059) (which I realize you've probably read), it's not really about being mistaken for a GG, as much as blending in and looking presentable.

Based on your avatar I think you'd do well.

A couple things will help. Scout out the location you're planning to go and observe what GGs like yourself look like (what are they wearing, what kind of make-up do they have). Most of us start off doing fantasy dressing, which is fine, but few GGs wear clubwear to the mall (or vice versa). Wearing pants helps. Yes, we :<3: skirts and dresses, but most GGs wear pants most of the time.

Ironically, it's often easier to pass in a crowded place during day time. People are usually preoccupied and not that attentive (which is why pickpockets favor the same places). And sunglasses are both good for concealing a male browline and provide psychic armor. (Among other things, you're virtually unrecognizable with a wig and sunglasses, since they obscure your two most identifiable features.)

It's also helpful to observe and learn how GGs move differently -- just don't overdo it. Few GGs walk like runway models. Generally, their movements are looser and more fluid. Making sure your knees brush when you walk will add a little wiggle in the tush without looking like you're doing the samba. Swing your arms a bit more at the elbows (while keeping the elbows tucked in), and turning the wrists out slightly helps duplicate the different angle that GGs arms' hang at. Men tend to lead with their chin, while women lead with their chests or at the hips.

A femme voice is obviously helpful, but hard to develop. So if you interact with someone face-to-face for a period of time, just accept that they're going to read you.

But really, the main this is to act like you're doing something perfectly normal and like you deserve respect. If you do this, my experience is that you'll generally get treated with respect even if they realize you're a guy in a dress.

The first times out it can be hard, because you yourself are nervous -- and people sense that which draws their attention and causes you to get read more. The good news is that you'll learn the world doesn't end when you get read, so you relax and suddenly you're not being read as much. Just remember, even most of the people who notice, don't seem to really care. They may stare for a little while they're processing it, but meeting their eyes and smiling back will generally make them realize they're being rude.

So go out and have fun.

[Priscilla1018]

Would be nice but my full beard might give me away. :doh:

[JoAnnDallas]

Darla is right on the money. I found after my first outing that not getting nervious and your half way there. The other half is looking presentable enough to blend in. Age apperant clothing helps here. If your in my age group (over 50) then you sure don't want to wear what a 20/30 year old would. If I did, I get read right off the bat. Also the more you go out, the less nervious your are, the more fun it is, the less you get read.

JoAnn

[susiej]

Britney,

The poll is missing my answer:

No, would love to pass, but believe it would be difficult or impossible.

All the stories I see here about going out with the girls for a night on the town, shopping for clothes -- *sigh* -- not gonna happen with this frame and this face :(.

Hugs,
Susie

[JoAnnDallas]

Susiej.... One of the reasons that got me make the jump and go out en fem was posting my avatar and having others tell me that I looked good enough to blend in.

JoAnn in Plano, TX

[DonnaT]

Tried to pass, well, not really, as I knew I didn't pass, which proved out. But I don't worry about passing.

Note that my daughter looked at my avatar, not knowing it was me, and called the person in the avatar a tranny. So clearly, although you wouldn't recognize me, I don't pass.

[Natalie x]

I tried to pass, once, but I knew it wouldn't work. Sure enough, I couldn't pass, I just had to go in and buy this lovely skirt and top.

:o

[ladyfydiana]

At one point in my life I felt that I had to be able to pass as a women.But right now as long as I feel I look good in a skirt is enough for me.

Diana

[jennifer easton]

Ahhh passing what a sweet goal, to be a beautiful butterfly and float easy on the wind, haaa with this body and mug theres no way , so I'll just read,and dream through all my sweet sisters
Jen of KC

[Bobbi_Gurli]

I tried once...walked around a shopping center...but I didn't have enough confidence in my beard cover to dare to get close enough to people to see what their reactions would be. No one who did see me seemed to react like they read me though.

[GypsyKaren]

I go out dressed as often as possible, been read once that I know of. The important thing for me is to smile at everyone I come into contact with, otherwise I just go about my business. I find that the vast majority of people you pass are to busy thinking about their own problems to pay much attention to me.

GypsyKaren

[Sherlyn]

I go out at least twice a week ..at first just drove around ...but now have went in the mall...even got called lady by the security guard ...I really dont know if I am read or not ..the only time I noticed that I may have been was outside of the Sears store...women passenger in car going by ...gave one veeeeeeeeeeery long stare as she passed by ..the advice I use when out ..is from Kew..she tells me just look at your whole picture ..dont worry bout your flaws ...no one else is going ta be lookin that hard ..so when theres a full length mirror in view ..I stroll casually towards it and view myself at a glance ..and when i see nothing wrong ..think hmmmmm most ppl prolly just give me the same passing glance ....sooooo...you get the picture :)

[Imogen_Mann]

The option I needed was not listed. I did it a few times as a young teenager, before I got to be Six Ft plus tall, and before I got big, and hairy and broke my nose too violently.

I'd never try to pass now, not that I dont want to, I just accept, that I never would. Luckily for me, I'm happy with dressing in private, alone or otherwise. I'd enjoy going out to a friendly location, but I'd just never "pass" in a million years.

XX

Jayme.

[Stormgirl]

Not going to even try,have too many masculine traits

[Katie Ashe]

2 things I have no control over: Split chin and my voice. Other than that I'm good to go. Even found a foundation to cover my beard... #4 Colortration. God bless the makers of this stuff :cheers:

[Deidra Cowen]

I've gone out and passed...but I get clocked sometimes too. The best I ever did was going to a crowded liquor store and then a chinese resturant, no one clocked me and the GG I was with also thought I made it thru. It takes confidence, femmy mannerisms and cloths that blend in!

I managed to pass because I did nothing that would have gotten someone to study me closer. Upon closer inspection my guy features would trip me up. On the other hand while at SCC last week I ran up to MACY's to grab a couple of blouses. No doubt about it another lady shopping there clocked me. I just smiled at her and she smiled back...but I have to admit it dissappointed me.

I'd submit that any pre op girl not on hormones is never 100% passable. But we can come very close with some work and practise...enough to get by most of the time. I do see in Atlanta several girls on hormones that flat out pass! That seems to be what can get you over the edge...but I'm not going there yet. ;)

[jasmine]

I'm always ready to try, tomorrow!

Oh, how I wish tomorrow would just come already!! :p

Jas

[Rachel Morley]

I am not an expert on passing but up 'til now I figure I've done ok. I've certainly never had a problem at all, but mostly I attribute that to being in the fortunate position of having a GG (my wife Marla) accompany me when en femme in public.

However, I totally agree with Darla's advice and I would like to say that, for me, it's about my confidence that makes me feel passable. Ever since I got a new wig and Marla did my make up I have felt much more passable. I do wear skirts most of the time in public but I do dress subdued.

In conclusion, I would say, take all Darla's advice and make sure your hair and make up is good and you'll do just fine :D

[Stephanie Kay]

I love going out dressed and what works for me is to try not to offend anyone by showing off or dressing/acting in an inappropriate manner for a 58 year old woman. Most people just pass me by without noticing. If someone notices me they don't say anything or do anything. It seems like it's live and let live, love and let love! Of course, I never go to places like red-neck bars, etc. BTW, My friends and I have noticed that the older you look the more you get ignored (sad state of affairs for older GGs :( --if you really want to pass try wearing a grey or white haired wig!!). Anyway, I don't TRY to pass but if people don't notice I'm a guy, great! I love it! But I don't try to fool anyone. I even use the ladies room and have never had a problem. Stay pretty!

Love,
Stephanie

[FionaAlexis]

Hi Britney,

I go out a few times most weeks except during school holidays when my daughter is home. Recently I had a week of it so my confidence was sky high by Thursday.

I have no problems. Do I pass? I think I mostly pass -I'm guessing +80% but I really don't know for sure - though I'm certain I don't pass every one. I'd love to be able to mind read for a day.

But I think if you wait until you're sure you'll pass you'll never go out.

Fiona xx

[Carlacd]

As mentioned here by several girls, there are some of us that just plain simply can't pass. To those girls like me that wouldn't pass. Just once, wouldn't you like to get a make over, by some one that really knows what they are doing. Just to see what if ?. :rolleyes:

[karrisa]

The first and only time I went out was last halloween. I went to a party dressed as a woman and my wife went as a man. No ultra sexy costume, just a pretty blouse, wig, full make-up, and blue jeans. Got my ass pinched a lot. Everyone had a lot of compliments for me. The typical response from those who know me was one of shock followed by, "wow, you look great as a woman!" The best compliment was from a couple of guys who were checking me out from across the bar. As I made my way right past them to the bathroom and said, "excuse me," one of them yelled, "oh! that's a dude!" Deep voice...dead givaway. Anyway, I was flattered and it was a wonderful experience.

To get to my point, with the holiday comming again, it would be a great time to test the waters. Go out dressed up for halloween to a party. Pay attention to people's reactions to you...you'll know right away if you're passing. If you don't, you're just dressed up for halloween. Just be safe.

Karrisa

[Phoebe Reece]

There's an old saying:
You can fool some of the people all the time.
You can fool all of the people some of the time.
You can't fool all of the people all of the time.

"Passing" seems overly important to many crossdressers. What really counts is that you dress appropriately in public and conduct yourself in a ladylike manner. Sometimes, with some people, I pass. Other times, with other people, I do not. Either way, it's not a problem for me and doesn't hold me back from going out. Sometimes, being read gets turned into an opportunity to educate a stranger about crossdressing and can be a positive experience for both of you.

[Tara Jordan Campbell]

I go out ALLOT
I am the first one to say I DO NOT PASS, nor do I care. I'm me and I have fun being me.

Believe me you will NOT pass like you think you will..

Let's look at the fantastic female anatomy we are sO trying to emulate.

Smooth clear skin.
Narrow shoulders.
Slim long neck.
Soft voices/most of them that is.
Shiny hair.
Narrow facial features.
Real breasts, some with clevage.
Naturally hairless, in most cases/areas.
Nice round rump.
Excellent hip to waist ratio (the nice curve at the waist).
That special hip rotating foot in front of the other foot walk.
Guys...were screwd!!!

And let's face it a 6 foot 2 195 pound man with size 10 shoes just ain't gonna pass easily.

My advice is to go out as much as you can..safely... and meet up with other "girrls" in your area and compare notes..better yet have a GG help you out.

Most of all, enjoy the fun you have when you dress.."regular" guys will never get to experience what we do.... poor saps !!!

[MandyTS]

I could never pass without HRT, etc, and I still would probably be read half the time. I am 6'6", no overly masculine features but I am tall and have a large frame. I would love to go to adam and eve or likewise someday and see what I could really look like! :p