Are we escaping?

[Marla]

I've been dressing for 40 years. Until recently I never tried to analyze it I just knew I loved doing it. However I'm wondering if it might be a form of escape from our male lives. When I'm Marla for the day or evening the only problem I have is what shade of lipstick to wear and what dress to put on. I realize that many of you feel the desire to be a woman full time because you think you were born in the wrong body and that is cool. But how many of you feel as I do that being dressed makes everything a lot simpler?
I still don't want to over-think this thing but I just wondered.

[James Kaon]

Hi Marla

I'm pretty sure we are all a bit guilty of over-thinking! :) Nothing wrong with that, part of the process is some self discovery and CDing is I guess considered pretty taboo and therefore self questioning is a natural consequence!

For me, I am also not someone who feels I was born in the wrong body, and although initially this was a bit of a turn on, I do feel really relaxed in some tights while recovering from the hectic work life... Not sure if it makes everything simpler or whether escapism - probably is, I also have not put my finger on why yet, but I try not to think too much about it and just enjoy it when I can. That sounds like a self-contradiction but I think you get what I mean :)

Jx

[Kathi Lake]

Nope. No escaping here. They keep locking the dang doors! :)

Seriously, it can be an escape of the pressures of manhood in America. Then again, don't know, don't care. I just know that I ike dressing like what and who I feel I am inside. Being a moron, I try not to overanalyze things. I find that keeping a little bit of mystery in my life is a fun and a good thing to do.

:)

Kathi

[Hiddenaway]

I have thought about it as well and while I have not been dressing for quite 40 years and my wife is not into it at all. I know that while I was single, it was the same for me in the evenings when I would dress, I didn't think about all of the other problems of the day. Now, I don't get to dress as often and it is a bummer. I am thankful that my wife has finally allowed me my panties full time. I guess it is a bit of an escape for me, because I do not feel the desire to be a woman full time and feel that I have also gained an even better appreciation of women for what they go through just to look good. :)

Feminine Name: Heather Lynn Blake

[WandaRae2009]

It is definitely an escape for me. It is like looking at the world through different eyes. When dressed and working at home it seems that my head is clearer and I am less distracted (no pink fog) and more productive.

[jim2jamie]

marla,your pretty,nice legs.
i read somewhere that cross dressers might be an alter ego,maybe, who i would like to have in my life, the womon i am looking for?
you know,short skirt,nylons,panties,likes to bend over and show her thighs,ass,etc.?
i just do the dress nylons panties,i haven't gone all the way with makeup,wigs,bras etc.
then too, i don't go out in public,what would happen if i was pulled over and asked for my drivers license?
oh the things to worry about

kathi you look nice,,,oooops too short.thats what she said,no i'n kidding, they said my note to kathie was too short,so i just madeit a little longer

[Debra Russell]

I know I have these urges since I was 3 or 4 but when I first told my wife I told her that I had felt this way for 50 + yrs and that also I felt that when I was dressed it allowed my to excape and think a little straighter -- calmer, Pressure of every day life definitely has something to do with it for me

[julia ann]

Marla I felt exactly the same way at one time, when I was julia I had know bills to worry about, no wife to nag me, no kids to raise{luv em to death but it is nice to get break} and julia never had to answer the phone and get bitched at by anyone. However as I have progressed over the years I feel allittle different, Julia has taken me to a level where I can deal with that stuff better in my day to day life, I have found an unknown confidence, she has taught me that life can be enjoyed even while handeling the day to day rigors , I have learned to welcome my other side{male side} with open arms and handle it much better than I used to.

[VS Fan]

Definitely an escape for me... I live a very stressful male life mostly due to working 60-70 hours a week on a pretty consistent basis... so when I can get dressed it really allows me just to feel good physically for a while to take some of my stress away. Additionally, I'm a pretty "needy" person physically (want lots of touch contact) and frankly wearing a bra and forms provides that "hug" that I need pretty much on demand (my SO tolerates my neediness to an extent, but I'm definitely the emotional one of the two of us LOL) and the general tactile sensations from the clothes keep me in a pleasant state of mind. I am firmly in the camp of "I don't feel like I *am* a woman (on the inside), but I sometimes *wish* I was," so in that sense, as I said, it's definitely an escape for me/ way to feel good/better.

VS Fan

[Mary Lee]

I am a vietnam Veteran who has PTSD.
Dressing helps to take me away from my memories of nam.
Dressing seems to make me a softer gentler person.
I feel I am hiding my male self from the world.

[Kate Simmons]

Only until we gain control of our own destiny perhaps. At that point it is no longer considered escaping but experiencing.:)

[Hiddenaway]

Only until we gain control of our own destiny perhaps. At that point it is no longer considered escaping but experiencing.:)

Very well stated Denise! I must admit to it being an experience, which does allow me to better understand myself and those around me. :)

[TGMarla]

I think it gets pretty simple when you boil this all down to gravy. Then we go and complicate it a whole lot.

But the fact is, I like it. I like wearing dresses. I like hosiery. I enjoy wearing high heels. I like the jewelry, the long pretty hair, the lipstick and mascara. I like having breasts, too, even if they aren't real. I like it all so much, I often wonder what it would be like to really be a woman. Think about it. Ask any woman (not all), and she'll probably tell you that she likes all this stuff, too. She enjoys feeling girly. It's not too much of a stretch to figure that there are going to be some guys around who like it, too. After all, much of the stuff that girls wear is made to appeal to men. It's a short hop for the guy who appreciates all this stuff to actually try it on himself once in a while.

And a few of us....well, it's habit-forming.

[Eryn]

I'm wondering if it might be a form of escape from our male lives. When I'm Marla for the day or evening the only problem I have is what shade of lipstick to wear and what dress to put on.

You might have a point. In my male life I'm not allowed to say "I don't know how to fix/build/operate this [item]." When things need doing I just have to suck it up and do them. Females are allowed to "pass the buck" and perhaps by escaping to femininity I might be taking a respite from being a Responsible Male, at least in my own mind.

Now, that is probably a fanciful thought that doesn't bear close examination. The Real World impacts both genders equally, but in Fantasy World ladies don't muss their nails!

[AKAMichelle]

If we are escaping then sign me up for another tour. I could use the vacation today especially.

[Suzette Muguet de Mai]

Hmmm, the more I thought about it the more I tend to agree with escaping from being a male. Whenever I dress for work and down goes the earings, the nice top/dress and on goes the drab male attire the lower lip drops. When I get home and then its yay, I am back.
I don't think is is simpler because I got make-up, dresses, jeans to select for my evening. Then its shopping lists, fashion mags, online shopping etc, etc. Then house clean, dusting, ironing, vacuuming. Hmmm not simpler, maybe busier.

[Melinda G]

Queen for a day!:D
Sure is a thrill to look in the mirror and see a nice looking woman in a short dress, with nice legs.:heehee:

[rachaelsloane]

Maria,
Too much thinking here. As I said to Sara the other day. we need to enjoy who we are and not try to rationalize the why's/how's or whatever. Bottom line is we all enjoy dressing and life is way too short not too!
The Best,
Rachael

[Phoebe P.]

Good grief yes! It's an escape every night! I would guess this site has seen a "slight uptick" in membership over the past few years. I'm just hoping the American Dream hasn't been mortgaged to the hilt...

[AllieSF]

I understand what you are saying. For some it may be a conscious decision or feeling, while for others it just happens and then when looking back we think how at peace we were when dressed the other day. I will use an example. I like to help people with their home improvement projects. I am an engineer by training but when helping someone, I prefer to take the dumb end of the tape measure (the part you hook on something or you push against a wall, which starts at "zero") telling my friends I do not want to think, I want to pound nails, carry lumber and just do physical labor and let my mind rest from work and other worries. I find that sometimes when dressed, I do not think nor worry about other things that I may think about in guy mode. So, for some, dressing can be a true escape from the real world worries and doldrums.

[Sarah Doepner]

I don't know if it's actually escape, but it's not much different. Like TGMarla, I really do enjoy trying to get pretty and wearing the clothing and that is my primary goal. However, once I'm doing that I will not be doing yardwork, going to an office, helping out with the grandkids or any number of other things that would "out" me. I'm not ready to share this side of me with anyone other than my wife, other crossdressers and complete strangers in other cities. So the result isn't exactly escape, but isolation from the parts of the world where I have responsibilities. It could be mini-vacation maybe, but even those are considered by some to be an escape from the normal world. I guess the question I have is what kind of value are you putting on the word "Escape"? Is it positive, negative or neutral?

[Chickhe]

I prefer to call it a vacation. Its like an escape, not exactly from being male, but from the male responsibilities... I always feel this weight on my shoulders...you know, like nothing happens unless I drive it and everyone is looking to me to do something either to fill their expectations or to kick start their own productivity and constantly watching my back because everyone kicks you when you are down. The female experience is more than just forgetting about the male side, it draws you in, there is a positive experience there...people smile at you, they are friendly, you feel good, you feel like you look good sometimes, theres no competition...no other male is going to claim they are better at it than you...well most won't.

[Julie Denier]

I think it gets pretty simple when you boil this all down to gravy. Then we go and complicate it a whole lot.

But the fact is, I like it. I like wearing dresses. I like hosiery. I enjoy wearing high heels. I like the jewelry, the long pretty hair, the lipstick and mascara. I like having breasts, too, even if they aren't real. I like it all so much, I often wonder what it would be like to really be a woman. Think about it. Ask any woman (not all), and she'll probably tell you that she likes all this stuff, too. She enjoys feeling girly. It's not too much of a stretch to figure that there are going to be some guys around who like it, too. After all, much of the stuff that girls wear is made to appeal to men. It's a short hop for the guy who appreciates all this stuff to actually try it on himself once in a while.

And a few of us....well, it's habit-forming.

What she said -- LOL ;)

[Elena Ornamental]

I agree that there is an escape element in my cross dressing. That doesn't mean it holds for everyone. And I think escaping now and then is good for people. You still have to come back to your real life and deal with whatever issues you need to.

[Vanessa Storrs]

Crossdressing is part of what I am. While I really enjoy going out dressed it is something that makes me feel complete, not as an escape from anything.

[Julie Rose]

Escaping, maybe. I like vacationing too!
For me, my male life is so totally straight that it is almost like a vacation.
Besides, I usually go somewhere besides my tiny little hometown.

[Frédérique]

Are we escaping? I've been dressing for 40 years. Until recently I never tried to analyze it I just knew I loved doing it. However I'm wondering if it might be a form of escape from our male lives. But how many of you feel as I do that being dressed makes everything a lot simpler?

Exactly – I dress to escape my male-ness. I dress to cover up the male with layers of effeminacy. He’s still there, but the clothes express something important, namely the fact that I actively turn away from traditional male characteristics, forms of behavior, and expectations. I’m like this – the clothes do not make me effeminate, but it’s very easy to choose between male clothes (and what they represent) and the alternative, namely clothes NOT designed for males. Whether it makes everything a lot simpler is a moot point – I need to express myself this way, even though I may complicate my life in the process…

[Chun-Li]

Most people drink or get high to wash their worries away. I get pretty. :)

[VanessaVW]

Most people drink or get high to wash their worries away. I get pretty. :)

Let's take this a step further, how many people like to read a good book and have a nice cup of coffee while reading? Isn't this also an escape? Browse the internet, watch a show on television, write to a friend: aren't these also ways of escaping? Nothing at wrong with ANY of this.

[Jessica86]

HUGE escape from all of the stress of my career, but I enjoy being my male side. Although, it is also very exciting for me to be Jessica. After I am done dressing, I instantly feel relaxed. I think its the time you spend focusing on how you look and not all of the other things going on in your life. It helps me alot!!

[suchacutie]

I honestly cannot transform to Tina when my male self has issues that need addressing. For us, Tina has always been an adventure centered around understanding who Tina is, what role she has played in my life (before we knew she existed), and what role she will continue to play in my life. My wife and I are convinced that Tina needs time to understand herself, time to grow, and time to be feminine. There is a possibility that once a lot is known about her that the adventure will cease. However, I don't think that will happen. The fact is that Tina has begun do develop her own personality, and it is markedly different from my male side. Maybe that sounds a bit odd, but we already know that Tina is incredibly fastideous, and a couple of times when some very detailed tasks needed to be accomplished my wife suggested a visit from Tina. Incredibly, Tina polished off those tasks with ease as she was able to concentrate on the details in ways that my male self just doesn't seem to be able to accomplish often.

In writing this it seems that I've been able to summarize that in the almost 6 years of her existence it has come to pass that she already has a bit of a separate life and a role to play. It's not an excape....it's life! :)

tina

[Marla]

I was so impressed by the responses to my thread. It was just a thought that ran through my head. There are so many good intelligent people in our group and that's why I enjoy coming here and bring with you all

[Alice B]

I tried thinking it out, but gave up. I just enjoy dressing when I can. I no longer fret about it and sometimes, even when I have the chance and time, I don't. My desire sort of comes in waves.

[PretzelGirl]

Sure is a thrill to look in the mirror and see a nice looking woman in a short dress, with nice legs.:heehee:

I agree. And then I wonder what she is doing standing beside me in my bathroom.

But it is easy to understand why there is at least an element of escape when we do it. For most of us, our femme self has no commitments. Now we can take on our male commitments while we are dressed, but it is probably far more common to just set them aside.

[NyssaF]

Most people drink or get high to wash their worries away. I get pretty. :)

That really speaks out to me. As you may guess from my pic, I have always used food as a way to deal with stress and worries. Except when I allow myself to dress. Then I lose weight, because just the feel of sliding on a favorite dress brings me peace.

Escaping? Yes, most definitely, in the most wonderful sense of the word.

<3

[Jenniferpl]

There must be something to this escape thing. That little voice in my head shuts up, my mind clears and suddenly I can accomplish things. Chun-li was right on. Others drink, I get pretty.

[Raychel]

I does seem to be a bit of an escape for me also. All the pressures of being the man of the house, just sort of get lifted off my brain for the short time that I get to dress. I can totally relax and just be the person that I am.

[NicoleScott]

I am drawn to those things that fuel my crossdressing desires. I love to make up, and I love high heels, so full-blown complete transformation crossdressing does it all for me. I don't do it to escape, but when dressed, I don't think about much else. Like I said about dressing for stress relief, I believe that escaping is a by-product of my crossdressing, not a cause.

[Nicole L.]

Thing's do seem to be a lot better for me when I'm able to dress. Less stress, better attitude, funner to be around, enjoying myself and what life has to offer. I like this side of me.

I've never known why I started in the first place. Wasted a lot of time trying to figure it out. And there's no chance that I'd ever be able to stop.

I accepted that this is who I am a long time ago.

Nicole

[sweetjan]

Oh NO I am not a woman.:)
For me I just plain enjoy it. I am much more comfortable while dress. I do not want to change things that I enjoy.:battingeyelashes:

[Victoria StJohn]

Escaping? I only wish I could escape more often. Hee,hee.

[audreyinalbany]

there's an old argument that was once offered by the mental health community that crossdressing was a way for men to escape male responsibilities, to shed the role of 'provider' for a time, to accept a more submissive role. The problem is that this kind of argument minimizes the stresses and demands of being a woman. Like many in this forum, I've given up trying to over analyze.

[Stephanie47]

I am a vietnam Veteran who has PTSD.
Dressing helps to take me away from my memories of nam.
Dressing seems to make me a softer gentler person.
I feel I am hiding my male self from the world.

I am in the same situation. I was in the infantry in Nam (I Corp), wounded twice, medivaced the second time. I attend individual and group counseling on a weekly basis. I was a cross dresser before military service, but, with a hate for who I was and with only sexual motivation. Now I love slipping into that June Cleaver dress and heels and relaxing in the house or backyard. I completely forget my male side and anything associated with it. Cross dressing is a viable alternative to relieving stress, rather than using injurious drugs or engaging in risky behavior.

Anyway, welcome home brother!