Is this true?

[suzy1]

I get the impression sometimes that there are parts of America where going out dressed is almost the norm.
That people don’t bat an eyelid when they see a C,D, girl.

Questions.
1. Is this true?
2. Where can I get the best deal on a plane ticket to the U.S?

It’s not like that in my part of the woods. Believe me!!!

SUZY

[J'lyn GG]

I don't know about that. I just think most people are too polite to make a rude comment or to be rude on the whole. Honestly, I wonder sometimes. Because I look at alot of the pictures on here and some are very passable, some just look like they are a woman with more masculine features. Just like you would never want to ask a non-pregnant woman when she was due.

[AllieSF]

As with many things and opinions in life, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Living in the San Francisco area works very well for me and this side of my life. I go everywhere that I want and have had no problems .... yet. The "yet" is because shit really does happen to most people at least once. So, I am just waiting my turn. That being said, in this area people will look, some may stare but few, if any, will ever make a comment. If you talk to complete strangers they will respond respectfully. There are the so called TG friendly places, but one does not really need to go only there. Our State and local laws protect our right, so access and service is not a problem. There are other places in the US and I will let other members here tell you about them. The main thing that I have found is that your own personal attitude, confidence and friendliness really helps to make each experience a nice one, with some being memorable.

[sandra-leigh]

I don't get much hastle at all here in Winnipeg Canada.

(But if you are planning on flying in soon, make sure that your plane has pontoons -- we're about to get hit with a big flood!!)

[Fran Moore]

It really varies Suzy. Some areas are much more "user friendly" than others. Even in cities that are known to be "accepting" there are areas in those cities where you might get more than you bargained for. That being said, c'mon over, you'll brighten up whatever area you choose to visit!

Suzanne

[sissystephanie]

Suzy, I live near Atlanta, Georgia in the good old U.S.A. At one time this area was probably one of the most unaccepting parts of the U. S. A. My late wife and I moved here in 1983 from Seattle. When she died over 6 years ago, I started going out dressed enfemme but presenting as a man! I am not at all good with either makeup or fixing a wig properly, so don't bother. 7 or 8 years ago I would not have thought about going out like that,, but now no one seems to care!! I go everywhere I please dressed like that, and the only comments I have ever heard are compliments on my outfits! Sure I get "looks," sometimes doubletakes, but so what? I don't care! If they don't like what I am wearing that is their problem, not mine!

We are having some really nice weather now, so get a Delta ticket and come on over!! BTW, I may be in the U.K. (Scotland) next year! I have some dear friends over there!

[Jilmac]

I live in the Milwaukee area and have attended numerous venues and seldom hear any derogatory comments toward me or any of my CD friends. Also Chicago is a great city for transgender acceptance. If you're planning on visiting the states you might be interested in the BeAll conference in Chicago the first week in June. It's an annual event and girls from all over the states and Canada attend.

[the_me]

If you find this mysterious place Suzy, let me know. I have 2 weeks vacation in October and no plans as of yet ;)

On a related subject, Edmonton here seems pretty accepting. Have the world's 5th largest mall too, and I swear it is over 50% woman's clothing stores! Hotel built into the mall and everything, I would live there and never leave were I rich!

[christinac]

Almost all the major cities here in the US have thier good and bad areas. Areas where it would be reasonably safe for a CD, but also areas that a CD needs to stay clear of at all costs. You just have to know the territory and use good old fashioned common sense.

[Duana]

I get the impression sometimes that there are parts of America where going out dressed is almost the norm.
That people don’t bat an eyelid when they see a C,D, girl.

Questions.
1. Is this true?
2. Where can I get the best deal on a plane ticket to the U.S?



In Houston, you wont have any trouble in the Montrose area, which is the main gay area. Inside the loop, ( a freeway circling the city about 5 miles from downtown ) most areas are cool.

Outside the loop and into suburbia, its a different story. We have a lot of redneck country boys, homophobic gangs and right wing Christians that will be disapproving.

Last weekend, GF and I went dancing in Montrose. No problems, even from the dozens of straight couples going to a neighboring straight club. Then we had the stupid idea to stop for pancakes on the way home. Not only were we well outside the loop, it was 230am and this is prime time for drunks, eating after the bars close.

So we go in. The first thing I notice is a policeman there. He barely gives me a second glance. The waitress was nice but then I had to pee... badly. So we go together to the bathroom.

As I walk in, there are 2 20-something black girls at the mirror. I walk into a stall as they're giggling and saying, "that's just wrong." And "wtf is that?" And "ain't that some shit."

I was so flustered I just waited in the stall till they left. Couldn't even pee. So I get back to the table and overhear another table with two couples... one of them says something about the "gay Guy" and the other sshhhs him.

We eat quickly and leaving, the bathroom girls are sitting with there boyfriends at the exit. They start laughing again and one of the guys says, "what's up bro?"

I had just enough in me to slap my ass and laugh with gf as we walked out.

I'm new to this and I suppose I knew there would be moments like that but it doesn't make it any easier. I didn't want to touch my clothes for days.

[KINGFISHER]

Suzy, I live in England and have recently started going out (SEE MY POST) and have been to Leamington and Miton Keynes and Birmingham. I have had no difficulty at all and very few people even make a second glance. What I have found is that crowded places are best as everyone seems too busy going about their business and are not really noticeing others around them. Whereas in quiet areas people are more likely to notice you. But as others have said it's all about confidence. Even been in a cafe and to the ladies loos without any worries. I also just speak in my normal male voice and nothing untowards happens. In fact Shop assistants are so nice and helpful. So have you tried your neares town? Anyhow I have been to the States a lot but in male mode and would love one time to go dressed, Vegas seems the place to go, and I love it there so much. As for best flights just go on the webb and try several sights but if you can try moving dates around to get the best prices. Last year I went to my sisters in Indianapolis at this time of year and found going over Easter I got a real good deal. Summer and christmas are high prices.:) Good luck Daniel

[Rianna Humble]

I get the impression sometimes that there are parts of America where going out dressed is almost the norm.
That people don’t bat an eyelid when they see a C,D, girl.

Questions.
1. Is this true?
2. Where can I get the best deal on a plane ticket to the U.S?

Hi Suzy, you don't need to go as far as the Americas to find the sort of reaction you are talking about, just a couple of counties away is Sunny(?) Brighton.
You could even come to the Clare Project drop-in sessions and maybe join us for our monthly "posh Nosh" meal together.

Before I came out completely, a GG asked me if I had come to Brighton because they accept CD's and so on so well.

[StaceyJane]

suzy, I live in the heart of redneck country and I go out dressed all the time. sure I get some looks and get called sir a few times but really I haven't had any trouble.
Really the key think is how you think of yourself not what others think.

[Leslie Langford]

I've never once had a problem here in Toronto, Canada and I go everywhere en femme - malls, women's clothing stores, lingerie boutiques, restaurants, exhibitions, the theatre, walking down busy streets...the list goes on and on.

People have been universally friendly and accepting, and seem to appreciate the effort I make in dressing elegantly and age-appropriately in order to appear as "passable" as I can when in "Leslie" mode. If anything, strangers seem to be curious as opposed to disdainful if they appear to have "read" me, and they often go out of their way to either approach or engage me in a conversation, or else they give me above-average service, as in the case of SA's.

The closest I've ever come to an awkward moment was in a woman'a clothing store last year, where an SA greeted and approached me from behind and did what appeared to be a slight double-take (along with a faint "Oh!") when I turned around to respond to her. She quickly recovered, though, and then carried on as though nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

She, too, seemed to try and make up for this momentary lapse by being overly attentive to me during the rest of my stay in her store and quickly set me up in a fitting room. She then kept "feeding" me items she thought might look good on me until I had managed to assemble a couple of cute new outfits with her help.

To this day, I don't know if this SA had instinctively recognized me as a "man in a dress" when she first set eyes on me, or if it was more a case that the "woman" she ultimately came face-to-face with looked older than what she expected to find after first seeing me from behind. Obviously, I prefer to think that it was the latter :eek::doh::heehee:.

But as for Toronto being GLBT-friendly, let me put it this way:

Some years ago, we had an openly transgendered person (who has since partially transitioned) run for Mayor, and "she" came in a not-to-distant 3rd. We also had an openly gay male senior Provincial cabinet minister (and deputy Premier) not too long ago, who was married to another man and has since adopted a child with his partner. This same individual also ran for Mayor of Toronto last fall and was initially considered to be a shoo-in, and his lifestyle was never made an issue of - even by his populist, ultra-conservative arch-rival who - to everyone's great surprise - ended up winning the election.

Oh, and did I also mention that Toronto hosts the world's second-largest Gay Pride Parade, and that for the first time last year, it specifically included a separate contingent of transgendered people...?

[Jill Devine]

Leslie, I agree that Downtown Toronto would rank very high as a safe city. Obviously not the USA, but Toronto would provide an experience on par with any American city minus the problems one might encounter in SOME American cities.

[Fab Karen]

The norm? Not quite. But some of us are in areas where diversity isn't a four-letter-word, and many people have no problem with us.

[jill_cd_girl]

As many here have already more or less suggested, it seems that there are places that are relatively safer than others, and that no place is totally safe. When I lived in West Hollywood, I felt very safe to venture out dressed, even in LA in general, though, of course, in certain areas I wouldn't go dressed (even as a male).

I've heard that you also get a kind of inverse relation between city size, on the one hand, and T-IQ on the other. The bigger the city, the more likely that people have seen a transgendered person, and, hence, the more likely someone may have a hunch that you are T (but likely that they won't care). But in smaller places, it might be that the T-IQ is relatively lower, so they won't easily read you. In my experience, this seems to be roughly the case.

[AKAMichelle]

I have been in Chicago / SF / Denver dressed. No issues in any of these cities.

[Phoebe P.]

You would be fine in Midtown Atlanta. It's a very accepting and forgiving area. Just stay ITP (Inside the Perimeter). For the most part, anywhere you go people are going to be too polite to cause trouble. Stay on the north side if you want to venture out and don't go near the Dome where the Falcons play.

[Eryn]

Funny, after reading many posts from our UK sisters I had the reverse impression, that the UK was more generally tolerant than the US! I guess the grass is always greener on the other side!

[NathalieX66]

It's not like there are crossdressers & transgender people everywhere, but I' ve gone out & about just about everywhere, and I never had anything bad happen to me yet. I haven't even got many stares either. I'm on the east coast from Boston, New York, Philadelphia, Baltimore, and DC. people in these cities are too busy with themselves to even care.
For someone new to the US, and looking for economy, I highly recommend Boston & Chicago.

[Vanessa Storrs]

I am amazed at the level of acceptance I receive when I am out and dressed. Last month I spent a few days in Las Vegas and was dressed the entire time a few people took second looks but there were no rude comments and I heard nobody laughing at the fat guy in a dress. From Las Vegas I went to the smaller town of Pahrump and was accepted well as I went to the gas station, the supermarket and bought fireworks. From there I went to Death Valley Junction for a performance by Marta Beckett at the Armorgosa Opera House, the only comment I got was from a lady who thought I was part of the performance. I did not creep from place to place, I made eye contact with others and engaged them in conversation, in short I was comfortable and confident which may be the key to being accepted.

[Misti]

I get the impression sometimes that there are parts of America where going out dressed is almost the norm.
That people don’t bat an eyelid when they see a C,D, girl. Questions. 1. Is this true? SUZY

Caveat. This is not to demean, or insult a single soul, believe me, however, if this little report can give anyone a little more CD’g confidence, then Hoorah! Bottom line. Rest easy girls, no one seems to care one iota, about your CD'g in Vegas, or so it seems? :battingeyelashes:

Suzy, I was really going to start a thread on this because I am a little mixed up about this CD'g thing, you know, concerning "Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt" (FUD) - it's quite possible I just might be going about it all wrong? Who knows? Here's the setup:

I have been out shopping quite heavily with my SO for the past two (2) chilly days now in Vegas. On these not-so-rare occasions I ordinarily go out "totally enfemme" - i.e., minus the wig, makeup and a dress and high heels (Oh, how I wish, but that may also soon happen?) :daydreaming:
My point here: No one ever seems to care, or even have a negative reaction to my dressing, even in a Casino, a week or so ago (See also “Update Today” below). Its all smiles from women, and blank, straight-ahead stares from men. Here I am, obviously a man in woman's clothing, and I get the Rodney Dangerfield reactions across the board from the men and a few smiles from a woman or two. Don't get me wrong, that's good, there's absolutely no complaint here, we should all be so lucky! Right?

What my question concerns is with the permanent "pink toenails," "the acrylic nails" and the "woman's sandals" (PTANWS) I've continued to sport during this minor 2-day cold snap "seeming to be" the only ones being displayed within a hundred miles of here? Imagine, this is in Vegas, yet? The only PTANWS’s I've actually seen are when I pass a mirror. Not one single male has shown any reaction to me and my proclivity to CD all during the past month or two - outside of Glamour Boutique 2, and DLV, of course. I know I am not alone; is everybody in hiding, or are they all so good at CD'g that they all "pass" without even eliciting a sideways glance? Hell, I'm as overt as a wart hog running down S. Las Vegas Blvd., being chased by a tribe of Ubangie's, yet not one single male is showing his true feminine colors, but me? Why is this? Am I the only maverick, here? Get real!

(Update today: Brazen lil ‘ol me, add two (2) more “extended days of CD'g,” minus the wig, makeup and a dress and high heels, YET; one (1) with (i.e., "matching exactly" my SO like we were the Bobbsey Twins) burgundy stretch pants at last night’s "Casino" Bingo, and the second (today) with green stretch pants at Nellis AFB (i.e., Pharmacy, BX and Commissary), both days with complimenting top, of course. Yep, you guessed it, absolutely no response again, what-so-ever. Zilch! Nada! Zip!
Wait! I take that back, I might have gotten a “nibble” from some creepy old codger who slinked around a couple of rows of slots and watched me intently as I wiggled my "Sweet Cheeks" going to the ATM to cash my $0.45US ticket? Not too sure, though, I’ll just have to wait and get another stare and compare the two some day? :heehee:

It's true, I know I've got a dog's attitude, but I really care an awful lot about how I look during my feminine ventures out with my SO - I never want to embarrass her, ever - I'm fanatic enough to even be color coordinated (including borrowing her clothes) 24/7 around the house.

To re-iterate, the "Moral" herein is: Rest easy girls, no one seems to care one iota, about your CD'g in Vegas, or so it seems; and more importantly, take it to the bank if you're really, really good at playing the CD part effectively? (See Vanessa's story #22 above). So, FUD aside, go for it with all your gusto, might, dignity and beauty... Bottom line. Who cares, but us? xoxoxo

[Kate Simmons]

Not the "norm" so much as it is most people don't give two weasel whiskers one way or the other Hon.:battingeyelashes::)

[erickka]

I live in southern middle Tennessee, and the narrow minded bible thumping rednecks here would just as soon shoot you because you ain't right in their book. That's why I go up to Nashville.... much more 21st century there.

[KrystalA]

I have to agree with Eryn. After reading many of the posts in this forum, I also was under the impression that the UK was much more accepting and tolerant than here in the States.

[Tina B.]

seems like both sides of the pond have there good spots and there bad ones, most Americans don't get that involved with strangers, one way or the other. others just won't be rude, but now and then you can always run into an individual that just has to share an opinion, or a young one that wants a better look. I shop in drab, but I don't hid the fact that I have a strong interest in whats in the womens section, more than a guy just looking for a gift. I've always been treated with a smile and a thank you, or can i help you, never a harsh word, and only once did In get that look. I don't go out in public, as a family choice, not that I fear for my safety all that much.
Tina B.

[PretzelGirl]

I think perception and the viewer's comfort level with going out come into play a lot here. You can put a person who is comfortable going out in a town and they will say it is a great place to go out. Then you can put another who notices every glance in the same town and they will say it is full of unaccepting people. So sometimes it is tough to say whether some places are accepting or not. Maybe I also need to throw in there that where you go in that town, how you present yourself, and your confidence level all can play back into your perception.