I cant even have a good cry any more.

[BreenaDion]

Past few months I have been retooling my brain. I took my psychologist advice when I was thinking negitively to try an think more positive thoughts. I would cry like time never stoped, seam that self pitty always wallows of a life never been would always over take me endlessly it seamed.

7 months ago at my psychotherapist office she bragged about a psychologist friend of hers coined a term A.N.T. automatic negitive thinking. OK but that doesnt help me at all. I need to fix this cuase its like all the time. I would spend hours at night last summer and fall crying at my puter hours after midnight untile gawd knows how long 4? 5? am . My sleep time was getting jet lagged it seamed.

I thought about it and came up with my own solution. A.N.T. , C.A.N.T. , C.A.P.T.
I just couldnt lay back an let this overwhelm me so there it is. As soon as Automatic Negitive Thinking would emerge in my mind I tooled my brain to automaticly fix it.
Hense I came up with Combat Automatic Negitive Thinking with Construct Automatic Postive Thinking.

Well if this just worked out well. I would be riding the bike along the canal like I have been, remembering last summer, those pitiful days an cry at every turn well not any more. This undertaking took months of thinking an tooling my brain , just repetitive thoughts to yourself about combating this problem an having a way to fix it. Well fit I did ,I find myself with ANT then right out of the blue come CANT and before I knew it CAPT. I would be crying crocidile tears and I would mellow out and feal even keeled sorta speak.

Now the kicker is I cant even have an old fashion girly cry any more. Shed those tears like the GG's do. LOL I muffed up in a way but not haven the misarable days of crying episodes guess in the long run i'll deal with it.

I am different and am not afaird to stick my head up an say I HAVE A PROBLEM, ya some have complaind about my post in the past but I help people along the way as I fix myself. I have in the real world, Vicky mostly , I so much love her. She is might say a friend. I had Mentored an abused boy from his father decades ago when I was self employed. I didnt even know this untile he called me up 20 yrs later to thank me for just being there for him. Hell I was so surprise that he called for one and to find that out o m god just about made my life. Little billy we called him, 16, 6'3" an 275 lbs at the time and in trade school. Smart and polite kid, jioned the navy an got stationed in Alaska.

So people tell us what you have come up with thats worth sharing, love to hear some innovative psychological situations that you have fixed. Thanks.
Breena.

[Persephone]

I don't have any psychological situations that I can think of, Breena, but I wanted to thank you for a terrific post! Keep on keeping on!

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

I"m glad you are figuring things out..

ANT, unwanted thoughts, evil thoughts, obsessive thoughts, the imp your brain, etc...is a very well known concept...
there are many techniques to block this type of thinking and yours is a good one....

http://www.amazon.com/Imp-Mind-Exploring-Epidemic-Obsessive/dp/0452283078

[BreenaDion]

I dont see where I get bad thoughts Kaitlyn . Basicly I was haven alot of trouble with my signature . Self pitty always wallows of a life never been. The last line in my poem I posted some months back. This is the main issue I had to deal with last yr and the side effect was 2 failed suicide attemps. Thats the only bad thought I can recall haven what ur book has to impley. I wasnt evel to people, hell not even to myself ,just took along time and alot of work swallowing that big pill last yr. After that it was down hill and fealing good.

As fas as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy as the introduction of your link, I was doing that 43 years ago to combat my studdering problem I occured . This was the result of abuse in many ways from my step father, omfg I was so nervous to even come home after school. I told this to my psychologist last yr and she was so amazed that a 12 to 13 yr old child without therapy could do self Cognitive Behavioral Therapy on ones self, especially without knowledge of therapy .
I just couldnt let this rule my life , the studdering got so bad, and you think my heinous mother would give my therapy( OFN).
I got tired of it an it took months but I had a speech inpediment cause of it. I took yrs untile it whent away, not tile I graduated from high school did it go away.
Thanks for the link, dont need the book I have what I said before A Surviviors Brain as far as Im concerned. Thanks .
Breena.

[Beth-Lock]

I recently went through a period of two or so months of crying and self-pity due in large part to being on a testosterone blocker, Androcur, with depression as one of its side-effects. It was almost the end of me. My best friend, whom I talked with long distance every night then, talked me through it. Now I am trying to figure out what happened and how to prevent a reoccurrence. A close friend who is a retired social worker, has also helped me find a few tricks to combat it, one being an angry book, (journal), to write out your anger with people and then close the book and try and forget it. The professionals working with me on my gender change could not help me during this crisis and seemed only able to make an appointment to see me, weeks later when I needed intensive help and intervention right at the moment. The whole thing was an eye-opening experience. I am however getting over my physical injuries nicely now.
One aspect of it that my two friends mentioned above have pointed out to me is a victimization complex which goes a way back in my history. Now I am struggling with that. A psychologist might say that seeing yourself as a hapless, and to a degree helpless victim makes the locus of control of your life seem to be out of reach and leads you towards an attitude of helplessness, which can only reinforce the depression. My social worker friend has in her own life, completely rejected the helpless victim approach to the hard knocks of life, and is helping me see and by example, follow her healthier approach to adversity. My other friend found EST training which he was given on a job he once had, helped keep him from making negative responses to discouraging, negative events in his life and keep on functioning.

[BreenaDion]

Thank You Beth I am glad that you have help with your issues. Each person responds to different forms of treatment. Happy for you that at least you are turning your own corner. WTG girl! Like one book I was asked to read, Invisible Heroes which the main character didnt respond to conventional therapy instead just stop the treatment and vocus on healing instead. Traditional therapy was only making her worse, I have a couple of disks the author Belleruth Naparstek uses for therapy and which I used to help me heal. Thank You for your honestly.
Breena.