My first time out

[Donniesr]

I have been dressing off and on for some time, but have never ventured out..until yesterday..
I got all dressed up, in a black skirt, and a pretty blouse, wig, heels the works. I was sitting at the kitchen table wondering what to do, when I decided to take a walk around the block. I didn't care what my neighbors thought,,they all know anyway.
I was about half way around the block when I was accosted by a bunch of teenage gangbangers, all laughing and saying " look at the fag wearing a dress".. I tried to just ignore them and keep going but they decided to push the issue.
I won't go into all the gory details, but one of them got a face full of pepper spray, and the rest ran like rabbits...
I really feel bad about spraying that kid, but at the same time,,what would they have done to me??
Makes me wonder if I ever want to try to go out again??
I'd really like some advice as to what to do...Donna

[Persephone]

Wow Donna! It certainly doesn't sound like you had a positive first experience! Sure glad you had the pepper spray and that you were ready to use it!

I don't know your neighborhood. Was it daytime? Or at night?

Sorry! It isn't all like that.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Danni Renee]

WOW! I hate to hear that you had that experience on your first time out. Don't feel bad about the pepper spray - I have been spayed before (as a prank, not because I deserved it) and yes it stings and can make you miserable but the boy will be fine. He deserved it and you needed to protect yourself. Just make sure you get a refill before you go out again.

On another note, you said all your neighbors knew. I hope none of the group that assailed you know where you live. They mey never approach you again during the day but at night it may be a different story. Also vandalism is possible. Make sure you lock the doors and keep the phone handy just in case. I am sorry you are going through this.

[Feather Gloves]

Legally you won't get into any trouble, pepper spray is of course meant for this sort of thing!
I'd say just be aware of your surroundings for a while, as Danni said, vandalism or other stupid acts might occur. Just be prepared and stay safe, but by no means be afraid!
When I first went out in public in CD I was with friends, so I felt more secure with it, maybe you could do something similar for a while until you feel safe/secure enough to go it alone. :)

All the best <3

[VioletJourney]

:( Sorry to hear about a first experience like that. Maybe your neighborhood isn't the best place to start - perhaps you should find a more TG-friendly place (I hear gay bars are good for first outings) and go with someone else.

[Kathy4ever]

Sorry to hear about your bad first time. I think next time you need to go a tg friendly bar if you have one close by.

[Cynthia Anne]

I'm very sad your first experience had to be this way! Don't let it discourage you! You must be brave and go again! But try going to a TG friendly place or a shopping mall! I don't carry pepper spray like I should! Being a country girl I let Smith and Wesson do the talking!

[Dealight]

Wow, this touched a chord with me....I went out for the first time yesterday too!
Donna, I am so sorry you had a rough experience, but glad you were safe. My neighbors don't know, and I did some quasi-dressing in the car. I drove to a nearby little strip mall...and just walked around the parking lot a bit. It was dark and foggy, and I am not very brave! It was an incredible rush, though.....as I am sure it was for you too. I know I am probably not going to go alone again, though.....I think it will be easier with my wife with me...or perhaps in future, with a friend CD. Who knows?
I hope your experience will not stop you from going out again. I think you are very brave!
Hugs, Dea

[prettytoes]

I have to agree with Cynthia Anne...I don't venture out dressed, but my shop is in a rough area, so I don't go in there without my 2 best friends...Smith and Wesson (.357). I also have a Ruger .380 that fits nicely in my back pocket (or a purse if that's your thing!). I am licensed, and I would not hesitate to defend myself if needed. It's a shame that I can't feel safe going into my business to earn a respectable living without being armed! Sorry to hear that you had a bad experience. People need to be a little more respectful and considerate of others. I hate to hear stories like this.

[sterling12]

Next time, (And, there will likely be a next time, as we don't seem to regress) hop in your car or get on The Bus, and go someplace more hospitable. If your Local Gangbangers see you out and about, the next time they will try to trump your artillery and you may be looking down The Barrel of a Gun!

You have The Right to be yourself, but it's expedient and logical to be yourself someplace where people would be more tolerant. I'll bet there are areas of your town or a city nearby where you can go and avoid/ignore such foolishness. Gangbangers in Io...way? Who'd have thunk it! Per Professor Harold Hill, ("The Music Man",) what you need around there in River City is a Boy's Band. "Oh Yes, you got trouble, trouble, trouble, right here! Right here, in River City!"

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Donniesr]

Thank you all for your support. I don't think they know where I live as I was acouple blocks away where it happened, and I didn't recognize any of them. As for carrying a gun, thats not an option.(I have a felony from 1972) I guess I'll will have to, as some of you have suggested, find a friendlier location to practice going out. I agree that gay bars are cd friendly, but I don't go to bars at all. Like someone mentioned, the mall..I might try that next..Anyway, Thank you all for your support in this..

[Deana ♥ Danni]

Donna, I hate to hear this :( {{{hugs}}} I wish people could AND would be more accepting... This is something that scares me for when Danni Renee goes out the first time... I am really glad you are safe :) Do you have a friend or a SO that can go out with you, there is safety in numbers. I wonder what would have happened if you had run across those boys individually, I have a feeling they wouldn't have been so brazen. Please be careful and keep the pepper spray with you :) ~~Deana ♥ Danni

[Melanie Sykes]

I'm sorry to hear about what happened to you. However, I do think that you will want to go out en-femme again. And again. I did read a great sticky post on here about being safe when you go out. Do you have a car? I never dress in public near my home - I've always gone out in the car with mens clothes on over my women's clothes, and then removed the over-clothes later in a car park or lay-by. I always used to tend to go out really late at night, but a couple of times recently I've gone out in the daytime or early evening to very public places like shopping malls. It's a lot safer and if you're not near home you're not that likely to be recognised. Over time you will find a solution which works for you, but I think that public and far-from-home are two important attributes to look for in somewhere to roam freely ;-)

[linda allen]

Don't feel bad about spraying the kid, he probably deserved it.

It was mentioned above, but beware of what they might do to you or your property in the future. Kids these days have no fear of consequences and not much else to do buy plan their revenge if that's what they choose to do.

The advice about going ot away from your neighborhood is good.

[Paula Siemen]

Next time, (And, there will likely be a next time, as we don't seem to regress) hop in your car or get on The Bus, and go someplace more hospitable. If your Local Gangbangers see you out and about, the next time they will try to trump your artillery and you may be looking down The Barrel of a Gun!

You have The Right to be yourself, but it's expedient and logical to be yourself someplace where people would be more tolerant. I'll bet there are areas of your town or a city nearby where you can go and avoid/ignore such foolishness. Gangbangers in Io...way? Who'd have thunk it! Per Professor Harold Hill, ("The Music Man",) what you need around there in River City is a Boy's Band. "Oh Yes, you got trouble, trouble, trouble, right here! Right here, in River City!"

Peace and Love, Joanie


Yes Sir!!...That starts with "T" and that ryhmes with "CD" and that stands for "DRESSING"! To heck with a boys band.......how about a GURLS BAND"

[StaceyJane]

I have found that the safest places to go are public places during the day. I skipped the gay bar scene.

[kimdl93]

Sorry about the bad experience. Honestly, I think you did the right thing resorting to pepper spray. There was no justification for lethal force. Although I'm a gun owner, I also know that people are thousands of times more likely to hurt themselves or a loved one with a gun than to prevent a criminal act.

If that neighborhood were truly dangerous - aside from annoying teens - I'd suggest a different, safer venue for going out.

[BillieJoEllen]

I sure hope those young ruffians didn't follow you home. You could really find yourself in some predicament then. Always be very careful and safe. Theres been some good advice in the previous posts. Please, for your own good, follow it and enjoy what you are doing.

[Yolanda_Voils]

I really feel bad about spraying that kid

Don't that was a "attitude adjustment" he needed severly.
Many of our male youth today exhibit a condition coined during the 60's when many youth were raised without male role models. Called "the angry young mans syndrome"

Your action may have saved his life, if left to do as they pleased, the next time may be towards another victim and they may not have been so gentle as you were.

I've been hit with a stun gun, CS gas which is much stronger than pepper spray, each of those times I was the one who inflicted the weapon on myself, by accident of course :D

[GirlieAmanda]

I wouldn't go to the mall. It is one of the hardest places to pass. It is like The Crucible to me. Like the Marines final test. You need to start small and safer like a TG friendly event or place.

[daviolin]

When in dougt never go out alone. Allways travel in groups. If you don't have any CD friends to chum with. Then yes the Gay bars are a safe haven. Atleast in Michigan they are. So sorry for your first time out. People can be such jerks. Don't let thoughs idiots descorage you. Stand up and be proud. We are all on your side here darling. Daviolin

[Tasha McIntyre]

Hi Donna, Like many others I was a bit distressed when I read your post. Hope you are OK and there are no repercussions down the track.


I wouldn't go to the mall. It is one of the hardest places to pass. It is like The Crucible to me. Like the Marines final test. You need to start small and safer like a TG friendly event or place.

Actually, I found the mall in the mornings to be one of the best places to start if you can hold your nerve. The positives are that there are plenty of people around, and in an odd way that means safety in numbers. The other shoppers are generally too busy worrying about their own lives to give us too much of a second thought. Malls have security officers and cameras everywhere. $h!t heads like you encountered either won't be there in the mornings or if they are you are unlikely to be hassled.

I cut my CDing teeth venturing out to the mall in the mornings, and have never had a bad reaction. A few :straightface: and even the odd :eek: double take, but never anything remotely bad. When I gathered the courage to enter the specialty dress shops I found the SA's almost always very welcoming to the point of falling over themselves to help me.

Anyway, I hope things go better for your next time out. Hoping there is a next time out :)

Good luck

Tash

[Vanessa Storrs]

A cell phone, pepper spray and diamonds are a girls three best friends.

[Emily Ann Brown]

Donna,

WOW. You started out with a bang. I think your next time out will go better!

You do have to pick your spots, no matter how good you pass. You found the worse condition...teenagers in a gang in a place not under supervision.

You get a HUG from me.

Em