What Can I Do To Stop Looking So Masculine?

[SarahMarie42]

Here's an awful picture of myself. It's the angle that keeps me from ever going out and I'm wondering if any of you have any suggestions as to how I can stop looking so masculine.

[Simply_Vanessa]

arch your eyebrows if you really dont wanna look masculine. i'd suggest some angled eyebrows (like brooke shield's eyebrows) angled eyebrows help soften a square jaw. and pick a wig that has the first layer cover your jaw line, with the other layers being longer from there. using your picture as an example of what I mean, you would want that layer that is hitting your cheek bone, to be long enough to go down to the jaw.

[SarahMarie42]

It's all good, I'm going to quit cross dressing and get fat again. I want to focus on nothing but my writing and my art now, everything else is worthlessly superficial and narcissistic. I'm done with presenting my body as something worthwhile, everything outside of my mind is an absolute genetic waste, so I will treat it as such, and I'm not even angry right now. I'm entirely calm.

[manemami]

you are looking beautiful feel free as there are masculine look womens around you and you are beautiful in compare to them love yourself and you will definitely find the apreciation best of luck

[Vanessa Storrs]

You look a lot better in the thumbnail photo than in the larger one, you look so much better with a smile than with a scowl.

[SarahMarie42]

It's the angle too, and I naturally scowl.

[Eryn]

It's the angle too, and I naturally scowl.

I think we all do! However, I think we all associate a smile with femininity.

Looking critically, I think the suggestion about your eyebrows is a good one. The rest of your presentation looks quite feminine!

[Danni Renee]

You might want to try a wig with more bangs. I think I look less masculine with bangs covering my forehead and I look like a guy in a wig when I wear a wig that does not cover my forehead. I hate my profile picture too - but I hate it in guy mode too.

[ashlylynn]

It's the angle too, and I naturally scowl.

lol Are you a Scorpio? lol

But seriously - the eyebrows are the thing: The rest of you is great, especially when you are smiling ( eg. profile avatar ).

- Go to a professional esthetician who trims MENS eyebrows. Ask to go as thin as possible with a slight arch because you've been advised it will make you look less stern and friendlier. She will never even THINK that you are going for feminization. LOTS of guys get their brows done now - even Jersey Shore featured a trip to the barber shop where all the boys got their brows waxed - so have no fear. Personally, I think you will like the change in your boy life, too.

- After that, work on RAISING your eyebrows. I call it "bright eyes" when advising my CD roommate. It will make you look happier and more feminine.

- Get a cheap pair of +1 Reading glasses with feminine frames, the more "dyke-like" the better ( squarish ) as they are in style.
This will make your eyes a bit larger AND hide the indentation in the bridge of the nose which only men have.

[SarahMarie42]

LOTS of guys get their brows done now - even Jersey Shore featured a trip to the barber shop where all the boys got their brows waxed

Well, if they did it...I don't know if I wanna xD I figure I'm leading a successful life if everything I do is the antithesis of that which the individuals on that show do.

[Kate Simmons]

It's not so much about how you look as it is about how you feel. Feelings are what really make a person, not appearance.:)

[noeleena]

http://IMG4979

Hi this was taken at our Renassiance get to gether at xmas time my garb = clothes.

Iv tryed to get a pic up just not sure if its worked.

Sarah, iv no make up on so what you see , if you can is just me.,I still know you look far better than i,



...noeleena...

[Deanna B]

hi honey . you must feel unhappy on the in side because you look beautiful on the out side . i'am a in doors dresser and if i look like you well i'll be out all the time and haveing lots of fun . i do not lie you look fantastic babes. you take care love deanna b xx

[Jill Devine]

Trust me on what I am going to say: your mental state of mind, over many years, can influence your looks. If you "swim" in your inner femininity and dwell on how you want to look, you will see results. Obviously one needs to do physical things too, like going to the salon for hair/brows/skin/nails, getting rid of facial hair, learning to apply make up like an expert, practicing with matching clothing and accessories, exercising and dieting, etc, etc. Fact is that looking good can be hard work. Expensive too. LOL.
seriously, when you marry the physical with the right positive mental attitude and you do it for years, you will see practise lead to improvement. Promise.

[LoriAnn_CD]

I agree with the advice on your eyebrows and wig, maybe a fuller hair style, but most the smile. A natural smile is sometimes difficult, it has to come from the inside. When it does you will shine.
LoriAnn

[Amanda Ellis]

You're being wayyyy too hard on yourself. A different wig and some plucking and you would very feminine indeed.

[Stephenie S]

Silly is the wrong word to use here, but I think you are worrying FAR too much about your appearance.

You are quite feminine looking. Get your brows done. And here's a big one - SMILE. I don't care if you think you scowl all the time. Women don't scowl. If you want to look feminine, stop scowling. Period. Smile. Smile a lot. Women smile. Unless you have to wear a wig because you are bald, don't wear one. Grow your own hair. It's MUCH more convincing.

But other than that, relax. You are WAY ahead of the game. Stop beating yourself up.

And, don't forget, smile.

Stephie

[insearchofme]

You received some awesome advice here. Now all you have to do is have fun with it!

[Julogden]

Quit taking photos from that angle.

Carol

[suchacutie]

Wow...I think you are well on your way! Great opinions above. Mine are first: smile! That's one of the hardest parts for me, but it gets easier. I would let your hair be a little fuller, a little more "page boyish" to frame your face and narrow it a bit. Also a little blush would add to those lovely high cheekbones! Add just a very smallish touch of eye makeup to "pop" your eyes and you have it!!!!

But do smile :)

tina

[SarahMarie42]

Meh, I'm scared to death of getting my eyebrows done and I just bought my current wig not too long ago -.- It's impossible to find something affordable that works for me, so this was a massive compromise. I can't grow my hair out because I'll look ridiculous as a male (I wouldn't look good with long hair). I dunno, maybe I should just stop caring? That seems to be the only option I have.

[Kathryn Philips]

SaraMarie

Stop punishing yourself this way. I have told your before you don't look like a man. Just work on your smile and eyebrows (I pluck a few hairs every day with some tweezers to keep them under control), it will make a huge difference.

[SarahMarie42]

It huuuuuuurts x[ Eyebrow plucking haha.

[Kaz]

I know loads of guys who pluck their eyebrows... it's not a big deal and you soon get used to what used to be pain! You have to practice and always pull in the direction of the growth! Women who look good don't usually look good by accident... they work at it! Finding the hair style that suits their facial shape, the hair colour that suits their complexion, the make-up that creates the best "look"... they follow fashion trends... etc..

If you embrace yourself and have fun discovering, you will be fine... there are lots of women who would wish they looked as good as you!

And as for photo angles... I have far more photos of me looking hideous than reasonable - in drab or femme. I have far more photos of my wife that she would like deleting than she would like to keep! Taking good photos is a skill in itself and it is so easy to take a photo of us that destroys our self confidence. People don't "see" still pictures in real life.. they see movement and angles always changing.

Stick with it.. it will come good!

[Ericka2]

Not to put anybody down, but you look so freaking healthy! Be happy and just try to be the best you can be! Earlier today I was having a very sad conversation with a disable customer at my store that made me feel so lucky to be alive and healthy...

Love, Ericka.

[SarahMarie42]

I'd like to thank everyone that didn't even make an attempt to compliment me. You were all highly truthful. The others are people pleasing and want me to go and embarrass myself.

[the_me]

I'd like to thank everyone that didn't even make an attempt to compliment me. You were all highly truthful. The others are people pleasing and want me to go and embarrass myself.

Wow, great attitude. Was going to sympathize with the eyebrow situation, am in a similar situation/mindset there myself. Was, but now I'm just curious what your point was in starting a thread seeking help if only to ignore it and insult those trying to help you? Just trolling?

On a more positive note, the advice of of visiting a men's esthetician to have them thinned/trimmed properly sounds like good advice. I might just take that myself. A lot of other great advice too, lots to think of!

[Simply_Vanessa]

We wouldn't want you to make a fool of yourself :) honesty is the best policy.

On a serious note, don't go all emo and contradictory on us when we're just trying to help.

[skirtsuit]

Unless you want to take hormones and get surgery, there's only some much any one can do. There is no magic, no fairy dust that's going to make you suddenly more feminine and 'passable'. A feminine appearance is about alot of things and wigs and waxed eyebrows help, in fact can help alot.

Most of this is about confidence and how you carry yourself - be proud & look your best. Once you start going out, it only gets better as you can start getting advice from real professionals. Many of the people that work at makeup counters and womens clothing stores are interested in helping anybody, both men and women look as good as they possibly can.

Best,
SS

[kendra_gurl]

Sarah we all see what we want to see and sometimes that is not a good thing. 90 lb girls with anorexia still see themselves as fat or overweight. Once you accept who you are in the mirror and honestly judge for yourself what minor changes you can make you will never truly like your reflection

[Marissa]

I'd like to thank everyone that didn't even make an attempt to compliment me. You were all highly truthful. The others are people pleasing and want me to go and embarrass myself.

Sarah, I read all the responses to assist you..but I am a bit confused on this response from you. Would you mind expounding on what it means? sorry, its that I'm just a bit confused. Thank you.

[Fab Karen]

You did a similar thread with that pic before- so you chose to ignore the advice you got then & repeat it.

[SarahMarie42]

Marissa, I'm referring to those who said I only had a couple of issues. I personally think I'm hopeless, and I doubt that plucking my eyebrows will make any sort of significant difference. I don't think eluding masculinity is a possibility with me, so I suppose most of the advice is absolutely useless.

and Karen, once again, this is a different picture, and I shall reiterate that I find myself absolutely hopeless and find the advice equally useless upon evaluating myself, hence my second post in this thread referring to my decision to attempt to just give up.

And I was genuinely thanking those people who didn't attempt to counterbalance criticism with a compliment because I genuinely don't believe there is anything to compliment. "You otherwise look feminine" is not in any way true, so it's not necessary. Get me? I'm not begging for compliments, I just don't want to be fibbed to.

Ripping me apart is really the only thing that is useful.

[Simply_Vanessa]

Ripping me apart is really the only thing that is useful.

you've got to be kidding me. the only one here ripping you apart is yourself. we gave you some wonderful advice to improve what you are born into. you can only change what you see in the mirror so much, you cant control what was already predetermined...you can either improve what you have, or mope about it for the rest of your life. you need to find your way to self acceptance because if you can't love yourself you can't love anything.

either way, just keep your self hatred off of the forums. a 40 year old in crisis should be seeing a therapist, not putting on a show for the forum.

[SarahMarie42]

You think I'm 40? -.- Oh great. I'm twenty ****ing years old.

I guess we can't all be cool, can we?

[Marissa]

It's all good, I'm going to quit cross dressing and get fat again. I want to focus on nothing but my writing and my art now, everything else is worthlessly superficial and narcissistic. I'm done with presenting my body as something worthwhile, everything outside of my mind is an absolute genetic waste, so I will treat it as such, and I'm not even angry right now. I'm entirely calm.


Marissa, I'm referring to those who said I only had a couple of issues. I personally think I'm hopeless, and I doubt that plucking my eyebrows will make any sort of significant difference. I don't think eluding masculinity is a possibility with me, so I suppose most of the advice is absolutely useless.

and Karen, once again, this is a different picture, and I shall reiterate that I find myself absolutely hopeless and find the advice equally useless upon evaluating myself, hence my second post in this thread referring to my decision to attempt to just give up.

And I was genuinely thanking those people who didn't attempt to counterbalance criticism with a compliment because I genuinely don't believe there is anything to compliment. "You otherwise look feminine" is not in any way true, so it's not necessary. Get me? I'm not begging for compliments, I just don't want to be fibbed to.

Ripping me apart is really the only thing that is useful.

Thank you, Sara, for clarifying what you were referring to. In reference to a thread by another on 'being honest' about how we feel on one's looks or whatever the topic. Sometimes before I even make a response, I step back and read other's thoughts, especially the OP originater, so I can give a thoughtful response.

I have responded on a couple of your threads...but 'honestly', I stopped due to your actions or non-actions on what others have suggested. So my feelings are just like Celes and Vanessa above. Many put thought into what to tell you to 'be satisfied with yourself', but its really a waste of time.

Take a look back at your other threads..because they pretty much end up with quotes of yours just like these two.

I know you have a condition..and are seeing a therapist which I hope is helping you with self acceptance at all levels.

There are not enough positive comments that can be made to overcome the 'unacceptance' that you carry deeply.

And if more members read this thread, then I don't think the attempts to assist will still be there as it does seem like a slap in the face.

So one would wonder...why would you ask for all this help, knowing tha you won't accept it? Please that is not an answer to give me or anyone here..but its an answer that you need for yourself.

I do wish you luck...

[SarahMarie42]

Because all of this is silly...seriously. I have no idea why I would humiliate myself in such a way, participating in an activity and consistently failing. I excel in many other areas of life, yet I'm not satisfied. I am probably not capable of being happy, so...you're right in saying that help is useless.

[shoegazer]

Most everyone has some bad angles but guess what people in public are not going to be examining a still photo of you from that angle. Most people will just glance at you and think you are a masculine/weird looking woman, there are plenty of GG out there with masculine features. In my experience even those that do clock you are unlikely to stare or say anything because most people are preconditioned not to be rude like that

You are much more likely to get clocked based on your mannerisms and voice than your appearance (for instance, even if you had an otherwise very passable appearance you would get clocked walking around with the male 'frown by default' mannerism)

That said, the previous eyebrow/wig tips were good. If you don't want to pluck or wax your brows, you can buy an eyebrow razor for $2 at target or walmart. If you can't find a wig in your price range with the style you want, buy a longer wig and cut it to shape.

(the current wig you have is no good for your face shape, it draws attention to all the wrong places and makes you look older.. how many 20 year old GG do you see sporting that style?)

[Marissa]

Because all of this is silly...seriously. I have no idea why I would humiliate myself in such a way, participating in an activity and consistently failing. I excel in many other areas of life, yet I'm not satisfied. I am probably not capable of being happy, so...you're right in saying that help is useless.

I didn't say 'help is useless'..I am stating that offering you help is useless. And again, to clarify, the reason is due to your non-acceptance of any of it. As far as humiliation and failure goes, they are measures you have placed on yourself in reference to dressing. So many others have said nothing but positive things..but you seem to keep going back to a particular facial pose. NO its not the same pic as the other thread, but its has the same expression.

Again..take the time to read your past threads and see what I have seen as the common area being that you don't and won't accept the responses. Isn't that a clue as to what needs to happen first.

Even now, I have fallen into the pit of wanting to help you.. to realize these things and do something about them, instead of being a '40' yr old (okay, that was said in jest, I know you are 20) with self-hatred.

[luludoll]

o.O this turned into a rant channel

anyhoos only a makeover specialist can identify with you or if you want rip you apart. honestly take it what it's for as "advice" hate it/like it I don't think we're gonna lose sleep over this o.O

consult an expert if you can't work things out with the forums/yourself x.x (it's what i did & what everyone else did/does/will do)

[skirtsuit]

Just stop effing caring, and do what the eff you please. That's all there is to it.

2speed speak the truth.

The main reason you're having trouble with your feminine appearance is the same problem ALL MTF CDs have - you're a GUY!

[Noortje]

Do you enjoy being a victim? This is a support forum, not a pity forum. People will not like you _for_ your flaws. They will like you _despite_ of them. So stop acting so lost. Nobody is going to save you but you.

[the_me]

I know kids that do this kind of stuff on other forums, usually video game ones, to up their post count as they view it as some sort of status symbol. I wouldn't rule that out either looking at the join date and post count.

[SarahMarie42]

It's fine, I'm obviously too unstable to talk to anyone anyway, and no I'm not attempting to up my own post count, I seriously have a lot of psychological issues. Not that anyone would understand that. I don't want your pity or anything, I just want to be left alone now. I'd rather the thread just be deleted. I've decided to just give up on the cross dressing thing, it's not as if I haven't done it before. I don't refer to my disorders to attract attention to myself or to solicit pity, I refer to them in order to help people better understand why my behavior is so erratic. It's not an excuse, but I don't want everyone to think I'm just cruel or self-centered. I have very few friends for obvious reasons, so...just leave me alone, please. I'm done.

[RenneB]

You should see the first time out for me... Okay here it is. After this outing, I went on a weight reduction plan that is working a little bit at a time. The turkey neck is my problem, not so with you though. Your makeup is great. I agree with the others on the eyebrows, and if you plan on smiling, go with the crest twohour strips....

Renne......

[Anne2345]

Hi Sarah Marie! Seems like you are having some issues, huh? I can appreciate and understand how you feel. When I was your age, I pretty much hated myself. I was confused, had little direction, and did not know what to make of myself. I viewed myself in a horrible light, and was in quite a lot of pain. Quite frankly, I am surprised I actually survived the experience. Without going it details, just know that I do not say that lightly.

This path you are currently on, although different in certain ways from the dark path I was on, seems no less dangerous to me. No good can come from travelling down this path. I will not hold myself out to be one that has all of the answers, or can help you overcome your hurdles, but if you sift through the responses here, you will find some very good advice.

As you are quite well aware, crossdressing can be a difficult issue to tackle within one's mind, particularly at your age. It took me, and undoubtedly many others here, years and years to fully come to terms with ourselves and accept who and what we are. Crossdressing to me is more than just changing one's outer appearance. It is also about thought, emotion, and feelings from within. To borrow a term from another sister in the forum, it is about the "happy union" between the masculine and the feminine, where we can be at peace with the totality of who we are in any given moment. That "happy union," I believe, is what we all strive for, either knowingly or unknowingly.

It takes a lot of time, patience, effort, and self-reflection to get there. It takes hard work in learning to accept who and what you are. It takes examining your feelings and emotions, and understanding the reasons for them, to achieve reconciliation with one's self. It also takes learning to love oneself for the strengths and positive features that we have. Unfortunately, none of this can be accomplished over night. But with the right attitude, the recognition that one needs to work through all of one's issues and emotions, and taking the proper steps to achieve reconciliation, it certainly can be accomplished. There are many, many girls within the membership here that have successfully made the transformation, myself included. There is absolutely no reason why you can't also become a similar success story.

Also, by your own admission, you are clearly not happy with your physical appearance, and that is partially the point of your thread. The issues you seem to have with your physical appearance are only the tip of the iceburg, however. I fear you will not ever be truly happy with your physical appearance until you are happy with who you are inside. Again, that can be a long, hard battle, but a battle that needs to be fought for the sake of your own mental health and well-being.

I have said it many times in the short time I have been a member here - this forum is a wonderful resource for education and support. It is not the end all be all, though. In your case, if you are not currently already doing so, I cannot encourage you enough to obtain professional counseling to help you with your issues. I think you are in over your head, and a qualified professional can provide you with the assistance you need. After all, that is what such professionals are there for - the help people in need. There is nothing more important than mental health. Without it, how we view ourselves externally is doomed to failure before we have even given it a chance. I wish you well.

Anne

[Marissa]

**Quote modified**


Ripping me apart is really the only thing that is useful.

Sarah, no matter if you decide to stay, quit, or walkaway..the choice is up to you.. I would hope that you continue or seek the help that you need to give yourself a sense of confidence that you have in other areas of your life.

Even though you stated the above quote, it was not my intention to 'rip you apart', but to bring attention to your practices..even now you are doing the same thing..pushing everyone away. Its your right and descision.

Wish you luck in the future.

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Sarah

I think you like most of us are the person who is most critical of you appearance
I know it take time and patience to get to where you want to be. Its like everything in life no one every became an expert overnight but it wont stop the effort. Will I ever make it down the catwalk as a model - probably not. I do however try my best to look good. I happen to think you look better than me. I am sure we can all find areas of our appearance we dont like but i know listening to the advice given here makes you think about alternatives. It may be someting as simple as a change of lipstick or a different colour wig.
Please dont be so hard on yourself
Think positive and be the best you can be :hugs:

If you feel you need the help of experts go and find out what they have to offer.

[darla_g]

you know i think the secret is figuring out what you want to get out of it. I mean the whole experience. If the goal is to go out and pass as a woman that might be really tough especially when you factor in the voice, mannerisms etc. If all you want to do is put on some clothes and make yourself more feminine that might be a lot easier. Try to reach a point where you are happy with yourself and what you are doing. I seem to get that sense in a lot of things that people have posted for you. good luck