Apologies to the crossdressing community

[VioletJourney]

There's this memory I have that's eating me up inside, and I need to get it off my chest :(

About a year ago, I went with my family to a brunch at the Magic Castle in Hollywood. In the buffet line I saw who I figured to be a crossdresser - and when she spoke to me the voice confirmed my suspicions. At that time, I was insecure about my own crossdressing desires, because it was long before I met you wonderful people, back when I thought something was wrong with me. So I responded to her with obvious disapproval in my voice. I don't know how she took it, but it couldn't have made her experience that day any less stressful than it might have been.

My disapproval obviously wasn't aimed directly at that one person, but targeted the whole crossdressing community (as well as myself, at that time), and looking back on that day, I just feel horrible. So I'd like to offer my sincere apologies to all of you wonderful people, in hopes that this somehow makes up for my rudeness and my past intolerance.

Thank you for listening, and I hope you can forgive me :sad:

-Violet

[Josie M]

I think all of us go through a period of denying this part of ourselves. Rather than beat yourself up over it, take it as an inspiration to be tolerant across the board :)

{...gads...that sounds pithy and "platitude-ish"....}

[Kelly DeWinter]

Let me be one to say you are forgiven. Now go forward and live your life with a clear concious. You have learned a lesson in life and have learned from it, now don't beat yourself up over it. I went to the rally for the gal who was beat for being transgendered. Be openly friendly and supportive for anyone you meet in public from now on.

[JohnH]

Violet,

Don't worry about it. I'm sure you were a lot kinder than what I ran into.

Last summer I was walking, wearing a denim skirt, T-shirt, and sandals. I was not even trying to present myself as a woman. A "friend" or who I thought was a friend and his family were in his garage and the garage door was open. I walked up the driveway, and then the "friend" came out and yelled something like, "You f**king pervert, you're wearing a dress. If you ever set foot on my property wearing a dress, I will beat you".

Johanna

[Debra Russell]

Ouch !! that was harsh -- a beating?? Ouch

[Pinky188]

I forgive you! Its good that you remember that day! Its also good that you feel bad about it! Thats shows what kind of person you are today! Thanks Violet! After todays event in Md. in memory the beating of our sister, we need to be more aware of others who might be subject to bullying! Im sick of hearing about people being misstreated because of who they are!!!! Sorry for all my misspelling. Whatever.

[t-girlxsophie]

Don't beat yourself up about it Violet,You were in a different place back then and you wont have been the first person who's Insecurities have shown in ways that subsequently made you feel ashamed.Of course you will be forgiven,am sure in the future you will make up for it with all the good stuff you accomplish

Sophie

[katrinakat]

ALWYAS IMPROVE; be the best you can be!!!!! Grow from your experience and do better NEXT TIME!
There's this memory I have that's eating me up inside, and I need to get it off my chest :(

About a year ago, I went with my family to a brunch at the Magic Castle in Hollywood. In the buffet line I saw who I figured to be a crossdresser - and when she spoke to me the voice confirmed my suspicions. At that time, I was insecure about my own crossdressing desires, because it was long before I met you wonderful people, back when I thought something was wrong with me. So I responded to her with obvious disapproval in my voice. I don't know how she took it, but it couldn't have made her experience that day any less stressful than it might have been.

My disapproval obviously wasn't aimed directly at that one person, but targeted the whole crossdressing community (as well as myself, at that time), and looking back on that day, I just feel horrible. So I'd like to offer my sincere apologies to all of you wonderful people, in hopes that this somehow makes up for my rudeness and my past intolerance.

Thank you for listening, and I hope you can forgive me :sad:

-Violet

[Cassandra Lynn]

Good for you for owning up to it, some people never do make amends in any fashion. As has been said, use this time to move forward with grace and treat all others with due respect.
Cassie

[Natalie Wood]

Violet,

I can relate to your feelings. I am also a cd'er who has fought it inside for a long time. Your honesty here is admirable. Hopefully you are in a better place in your life today.

[Presh GG]

Thank you Violet.

To my knowledge no one has been mean to my husband but it cuts me to the bone when I watch their stares, pointing and all. I've had several neighbors and a co worker come to me [ as if I didn't know ] to tattle on Tea. Wives too can pay and sometimes it hurts.
I hope the forum "guests " understand " we're all just people.

Presh GG

[Pythos]

We all make mistakes. Don't worry about it. It does show however, those that have problems with someone are often hiding something about themselves.

[Jenny Doolittle]

It's never too late to make things right. Glad you have opened your mind and heart.

[Tanya C]

Celebrate the fact that you're mind is right now. Use this experience as an aid to help you accept people who are different from you, and not just the ones you turn out to be.

[docrobbysherry]

"He/she who is without sin shall cast the first stone".

As u can see by the LACK of stones in the posts here, Violet, we r ALL sinners!

[Beth-Lock]

This is not uncommon. In fact, it seems in looking over my life, I have criticized or disapproved of a lot of things, before I have got into a situation in which I have become totally sympathetic due to my own experiences. It is a part of the 'learning better' process in life, and shows one is making moral progress, one way or another.

[Loni]

to be able to admit a wrong doing, is the only way to free your self from the prison of guilt.

now go out and live a good life.

Loni

.

[Gerrijerry]

you never really know who are true friends until you need then for acceptance and understanding.

[wanagione]

no need to beat yourself up anymore. There is nothing to forgive, we all have stuggled and denied. Move on and live!

[kimdl93]

Don't sweat it. I would guess that most of us have exhibited intolerance about cross dressing. Its a form of self denial.

[Sarah Doepner]

Been there, done that and still trying to make up for the lack of sensitivity I showed on one specific occasion. I hope to pay back much more than I expended on behalf of unknowing others in this community. I think we are a probably a much larger club than you may at first imagine.

[Jilmac]

Violet, It was kind of you to apologize but I don't think it was necessary. We have all had doubts about our feminine desires which also has made it difficult to interact with others in our situation. It's good to know (for your own well being) that you are beyond your personal doubts and have come to realize that even though we were born male, we are all sisters at heart.

[sterling12]

OK, are you ever going to behave like that again? Going to abuse ANY person for something that's bothering your soul? OK, I grant absolution! But, I don't count for that much, and unfortunately your not going to find that original person to obtain closure. I understand that you've done a lot of penance, and it's likely that somewhere in the back of your brain it will always bother you a wee bit? Remember,That's a good thing! We learn from our mistakes, and if we have any conscience, if we have a brain, we learn to be better people. In The Future, you will do better, and perhaps you will have an opportunity to rebalance The Karma.

Trust me, it's about 99.9% likely that your "victim" has long ago forgotten about it! If you have grown, if your going to do better....then, The World will keep turning, and Goblins won't be coming to take your soul.

Thank you for sharing with us, that was a very brave thing to do. I think that ultimately, because you do care about things like this; your going to turn out to be a very good person.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Christina Horton]

Hey there. That's a good thing you did but like most said , you've beaten yourself up for long enough. I myself have never had any bad thoughs about my CDing nor have I ever made fun or rude comeants. No that I'm better then anyone but that I excepted my CDing way back when I was a kid. It's very brave of someone to say they were wrong or to say sorry. I'm sure the lady you were Kirt with is not even thinking about it. LOL unless she's here and has posted it. Just live life and have fun. Your very forgiven Hun. And I'm sure I speak for her to when I say that.

[AKAMichelle]

Sounds like you have come a long way.

[VanessaVW]

No problems here! Happy to hear that you have accepted who you are, and, who we are. Isn't acceptance great??!!

[Fab Karen]

Plenty of people at some point in their lives have passed judgement on their mirror. Only later does it hit them it was their mirror.

[TxKimberly]

Awe hell Violet, most of us have been there in some fashion. We all have enough to carry on our shoulders, I wouldn't carry the guilt if I were you.
When I was young and had just finished basic training in the army, I went out bar hoping with a couple of other soldiers. We made it our mission to hit every bar on a given street. We had been at it for hours when we arrived at one place where there were two pretty girls in a car with California license plates. I was so proud of the pretty girls from Calif and pointed them out to my friends.
"I TOLD you California girls were awesome!" I said just as one rolled down the window and beckoned to my friend, the consummate "ladies man". We watched him go over and lean his head inside the car to talk to the pretty girls. We also watched while he yanked his head out of the car like there was a rattle snake in there. He came back and told the other guy with us "Hey man, she wants to talk to you." The other guy had apparently been around the block and didn't take the bait. Well, it turns out that my friend had leaned into the car all macho like to hear a very masculine voice come out of the very pretty girl, to ask him :
"Are you gay?"
That of course was where my friend jerked his head back out of the window.
"Uh, no man, I'm not. . . " he stammered.
"Well then you boys are probably at the wrong bar." The TG in the car politely informed him.
Do you think I chose the moral high road and praised this person for giving three GI's a clue that they were about to enter a gay bar? Do you think I took the chance to educate, or even the crass chance to say "Damn, you HAVE to admit that dude was pretty!"?
No, all I did was roar with laughter and make fun of my macho friend. Wanna bet that to this day he holds a grudge against TG's?
We have all been young
We have all done what we thought we had to do to make it to here
We have all done what we thought we had to do to fit in.
The vast majority of us understand and would forgive. Those who do NOT understand are fortunate indeed, and I expect are exceedingly rare. . .
Dont sweat it - we get it!

[juno]

You must be ... human. Mistakes are part of life. Most of us are fairly sensitive, and especially regretful about times that we have been mean to others. The good news it that it bothers you because you are a good person. Be proud of yourself for letting it matter to you.

[SweetTransvestite]

Apology accepted of course. :-)

I went through that when I was in middleschool the most. It was all about being surrounded by such close-minded family that thought it was "wrong" when it wasn't all along. When I got feelings that were in favor of the community as a younger kid, I'd instantly fight them lest my parents find out about such feelings.

But to be bound by the past is worrying about what's already been done. Hehe, I feel FANTASTIC that I've come to terms with who I am in my present adult life, I couldn't be happier now. :-)

[Freddy12]

Violet,
Thank you for your post. The support you have received from this community is typical. Enjoy being who you have become, a person who is getting better every day.