Dress Code

[Persephone]

Sometimes we wonder how women enforce the "dress code" on other women, whether it is to amp them up if they are "underdressed" for the workplace, or to get them to conform to a more relaxed (slovenly) look.

We were at the beauty parlor today for our monthly appointments. We've been going to the same place for years and years and everyone, staff and customers, know us.

It has been getting very warm out over the past few days so I wore a short-sleeved pink blouse and black capris. I was planning on wearing flat beige sandals, but, at the last minute I decided they really didn't look right with the rest of the outfit so I wore my favorite strappy black high-heeled sandals instead.

At one point, I was walking down the aisle with the owner, a woman who is a good bit shorter than I am. Together we looked like Mutt and Jeff*.

With a little giggle she said, "You're so tall, and you wear heels."

(Translation: You should wear flats).

My often very opinionated stylist heard her and, as I sat down, quietly said, "Heels don't go with capris."

I said, "Well, I was going to wear some beige flats this morning, but they just didn't seem to go."

She said, "Beige goes with everything."

(Translation: Wear flats).

Sometimes it's a bit more subtle, sometimes it can even sound like a compliment at first, but that's how it's done.

Hugs,
Persephone.

*For those born after 1969 or so, Mutt and Jeff was a newspaper comic from 1907 'til 1982.

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y53/sandylewiscares/muttandJeff.jpg

[Kathi Lake]

Very true! A lot of times, however, we're our own 'police' by looking around us and and not daring to upset the status quo of the moment (i.e. the current trend). We want to fit in, and not stand out too much. Not just anyone can be a Gaga!

:)

Kathi

[Vickie_CDTV]

It might be translated, "We are all jealous you can wear heels and we can't, so therefore you shouldn't be allowed to wear them either!" Or, "You are tall and fabulous. and with heels you are even more tall and fabulous. It is making us insecure, so stop being any more fabulous than you have to be."

[skirtsuit]

Anybody telling you to wear flats doesn't have your best interest in mind. Ignore them.

SS

[Jennabug]

I don't worry about societies dress codes. I wear what I like and what is comfortable to me. Now of course I'm not going to go into a church service in a string bikini or to a funeral in a fire engine red mini dress or something like that, but I am going to wear what is comfortable to me no matter what someone else may think.

[Eryn]

At one point, I was walking down the aisle with the owner, a woman who is a good bit shorter than I am. Together we looked like Mutt and Jeff*.

Sorry, she's wrong. You look nothing like A. Mutt! :)

Yes, women do seem to do some subtle "steering" when they see something at the age of what they consider acceptable. I don't think that this behavior is limited to women, however.

[Fab Karen]

Have pity on the legally blind GG's.
What does beige go with? Gasoline & matches.:devil:

[sissystephanie]

I am sorry, but I have to disagree with the other CD's who answered you. The GG's were both absolutely correct. If you are tall, you should only wear heels when the occasion calls for them, and you never wear heels with capri's!! Unless you are wearing very dressy capri's and going to a dressy event!! And BTW, beige goes with almost everything!!

[noeleena]

Hi,

Depends on the company you keep. & Sissy is right..

Alltho i dress for this 63 year old kid & yes its different. & i still get nice comments so even tho i dont follow fashon its still good.

I like our groups because we sure do wear strange garb = clothes , & i like being different. im not normal so why should i conform to the fashon gurus .

& im the one who has fun. dress code iv yet to see one, & will i follow...... no way......

...noeleena...

[Christie ann]

Sometimes it is not so subtle as in:

wife to husband: What are you wearing?
mother to daughter: You are not wearing that out of the house.

[Indie Femme]

Odd, I always thought heels looked nice with capris, but I think heels go with everything ;).

[Debra Russell]

I am sorry, but I have to disagree with the other CD's who answered you. The GG's were both absolutely correct. If you are tall, you should only wear heels when the occasion calls for them, and you never wear heels with capri's!! Unless you are wearing very dressy capri's and going to a dressy event!! And BTW, beige goes with almost everything!!

I concur the GG's were right -- perhaps in the salon venue -- and for the most part they usually are!

[Fab Karen]

There are some GG's with horrid fashion-sense.
Those who hate tall girls wearing heels: Tall girls rule.:)

[Shananigans]

Sorry...I just have zero tolerance for jealous short people. Maybe it's because we (tall people) are usually slim and leggy. I mean, there's a lot to hate...all 5'10" of me...and, yes, I will wear heels whenever I please. Flats are cute, but so are heels.

BUT NEVER KITTEN HEELS! EVER! Kitten heels are the most horrible shoe ever invented and should be burned and torn apart. They are UGLY.

Anything beige makes me think maternal. Black and high=sexy. Beige and flat=nurse maid.

Those GGs need to pick up a magazine and stop the hating.

I also agree with you that a beige shoe with black pants sounds ridiculous. A red shoe would have been my choice (with the right top).

P.S.

I have found that people who passive-aggressively pick at how you look are very insecure. I had a friend who would always do this to me...whenever I had a new coat or something she would rag on me and say, "Ohhhh if Stacey and Clinton were here they would throw this out!" (She said this to a Michael Kors dress I was wearing hahaha) Guess what? She drunkenly told me one night that she is sorry for the way she has been acting towards me...she had issues with her image and felt overweight and frumpy. I just happened to be the person she was taking it out on. However, I am very proud of my fashion choices and feel great in what I wear. This is KEY. Don't let anyone else tell you differently. I personally dress for FASHION and not necessarily what may be appealing to the general audience. I like couture...I like wild...I like runway. I don't like ordinary and right off out of JC Penney's catalogue. It's MY style. I like it. If you were rolling out of bed and looking awful and your friends were having an intervention, I could understand. But, if you are spending time on yourself and looking your best and looking polished and it is your OWN STYLE...to hell with everyone else. Look at Lady Gaga...look at today's designers...believe me they don't stand in the mirror and say, "Yep, you MUST wear shoes that match your purse." No. People who need those guidelines have no sense of style and need flashcards to help them forge their way through their closet in the morning. Pay them no mind and wear what looks GOOD.


Anybody telling you to wear flats doesn't have your best interest in mind. Ignore them.

SS

Agreed.


I am sorry, but I have to disagree with the other CD's who answered you. The GG's were both absolutely correct. If you are tall, you should only wear heels when the occasion calls for them, and you never wear heels with capri's!! Unless you are wearing very dressy capri's and going to a dressy event!! And BTW, beige goes with almost everything!!

Espadrilles=Casual high heels. Not every high heel has to be very formal. I am not a capris fan (makes my leg look short), but I'd say the right capris (although I can never find a right capri) look cute with the right high heel. (Very possibly espadrilles). I love these with skinny jeans http://whippedstyle.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/accessories_report_espadrilles_charles_david_322.j pg


There are some GG's with horrid fashion-sense.
Those who hate tall girls wearing heels: Tall girls rule.:)

AKA jealous short girls

[Duana]

Odd, I always thought heels looked nice with capris, but I think heels go with everything ;).

They do, according to my Latin GF ;)

[Tricia Lee]

"Ohhhh if Stacey and Clinton were here they would throw this out!" (She said this to a Michael Kors dress I was wearing hahaha)

I'm sure Stacy and Clinton would have loved it! :)

[TxKimberly]

Sorry...I just have zero tolerance for jealous short people. . . .

Woah, I think we foind one of Shananigans soft spots!

You know, there really isn't a better place for getting a snap shot of what is "in" in womens fashions than the airports. Some are casual, some are dressed for the work meeting they are flying to, and some are dressed to look their best for whoever they are going to visit. From what I can see, Shananigans is in line with most of the women I have seen. Either they are wearing cute strappy flats, or high heels. I see very few women in "kitten" heels.
Another thing I've noticed is that the days of the tall girls trying to hide their height by wearing flats are over. Along with the many other strides that women have taken, I think most have chosen to leave that whole "I shouldn't be taller than the guys" thing behind them.
Besides, let's just forget about what ANYONE else thinks you should do, in the end, what matters is YOUR opinion. What makes you feel confident and happy? THAT'S what matters . . .

[skirtsuit]

What does beige go with? Gasoline & matches

Excellent!

You were wearing capris? That's the problem - pants!

I wear pants with flats everyday - it's called my guy outfit.

It's funny, I've had 3 seperate conversations with GGs this past week in which the topic of heels came up. All three agreed that they look much better in heels but that they hurt too much to wear all day. I would also agree that many, many women out there have no fashion sense whatsoever and I have no desire to emulate them.

Best,
SS

[Jennabug]

It's funny, I've had 3 seperate conversations with GGs this past week in which the topic of heels came up. All three agreed that they look much better in heels but that they hurt too much to wear all day. I would also agree that many, many women out there have no fashion sense whatsoever and I have no desire to emulate them.

It really depends on what you are doing. If you are doing a lot of sitting like in an office or in class then heels aren't bad at all, but if you are doing a lot of standing and walking then yes heels do begin to hurt after awhile. Heeled boots are a lot better if you are doing a lot of walking because they don't seem to hurt as bad as heeled shoes, but that is just my personal opinion.

[Shananigans]

Woah, I think we foind one of Shananigans soft spots!

Uhm, yes! I get furious when I am told that taller women shouldn't wear heels. My boyfriend is 6'2"...I don't have a problem with wearing them. Plus, last time I checked most models are pretty dang tall and I see them in heels all of the time.

It just makes me angry.


It's funny, I've had 3 seperate conversations with GGs this past week in which the topic of heels came up. All three agreed that they look much better in heels but that they hurt too much to wear all day. I would also agree that many, many women out there have no fashion sense whatsoever and I have no desire to emulate them.

It's true they are hard to wear all day. A night out is one thing....but, all day can get tough unless you get used to it. However, they are making shoes now that are more of a platform heel and they give height while being comfy. Espadrilles are very much like this and they are relatively comfortable for a day date or going out.


Heeled boots are a lot better if you are doing a lot of walking because they don't seem to hurt as bad as heeled shoes, but that is just my personal opinion.

Soooooo true. I think it's because the boot offers more stability.

[VeronicaMoonlit]

Flats are cute, but so are heels.

Yes, yes they are.


BUT NEVER KITTEN HEELS! EVER! Kitten heels are the most horrible shoe ever invented and should be burned and torn apart. They are UGLY.

Noooooo! Normally, I'm pretty much in agreement with you on questions of fashion and beauty...but not on this one. Kitten heels can be chic!

http://www.zappos.com/guess-swag2-black-patent

Look at these Navy satin babies:

http://www.zappos.com/nina-parul-new-navy-luster-satin

Or these very faboo slingbacks:

http://www.zappos.com/beverly-feldman-be-mine-black

Even Stuart Weitzman does a kitten heel:

http://www.zappos.com/stuart-weitzman-poco-black-suede

Even Louboutin does a kitten heel:

http://www.net-a-porter.com/product/97271


I had a friend who would always do this to me...whenever I had a new coat or something she would rag on me and say, "Ohhhh if Stacey and Clinton were here they would throw this out!" (She said this to a Michael Kors dress I was wearing hahaha)

That was just mean of her. Sure sometimes people need fashion interventions, but politely done...and most certainly not to fashionista you.


AKA jealous short girls

I'm short 5' 6" but would never tell a tall girl she can't wear heels.

Veronica

[Persephone]

Thank y'all for your wonderful and largely inspiring posts! It would make for a really long message if I tried to acknowledge each one individually, so please forgive me. I originally posted mostly as an example of the way that women shape (control?) each other's choices.

The funny part is that my stylist and I are probably about the same height - 5'7" (170 cm) - and she may even be a bit taller than me, and she brags about how when she is out socially or at church she wears sky high stilettoes. She's also my age or older and says that the other women at church always ask her "when are you going to stop wearing heels?" and she tells them "only when I'm unable to wear them any more!"

Shenanigans, I am in total agreement with you, at least when it comes to kitten heels for myself. I don't mind them so much on other women, but I can't even walk in the darn things! I hobble in them! Ugh!


You were wearing capris? That's the problem - pants! I wear pants with flats everyday - it's called my guy outfit.

A few months ago someone posted a wonderful comment about why not wear a skirt? I've taken it to heart and do wear skirts more often, but I have to be honest, a lot of my day-to-day errand running has been in pants. It just seems to be a fact of life out there these days. And for a hair appointment it is pretty much automatic - don't want to be in a skirt with my head back in a sink and my feet up in a recliner.

Hugs to all! And thanks for the boosters!
Persephone.

[Jennabug]

I forgot to make two other points in my post last night. One point is that the quality of the shoe has a lot to do with foot comfort no matter whether it is flats or heels. Those $19.95 heels from the Shoe Box are feet killers! You foot tries to slide out the toe or the heel of your foot tries to slide out the side. In other words, what I'm trying to say is that the cheaper the shoe, the more your feet will hurt.

My other point is that there is a foot condition [I can't think of the name of it] where the person walks on their toes instead of flat on the soul of their foot like most people do, so in their case a shoe or boot with a substantial heel is a necessity.