Question for closeted crossdressers

[Gurly]

Despite being in the closet about my dressing, I still have an overwhelming urge to tell someone about it, most likely a close friend. Not really sure as to why I want to do this but I can take a guess.......of the uneducated kind, of course. Maybe I have stifled the urge far too long. I do get chances to dress but have to go through long periods where I don't, which just increases the desire. Is this a search for an understanding friend, or just part of the thrill of crossdressing? Anyone else have this exposure compulsion?

[Dian077]

I know for me, its the desire to find an understanding friend. Someone to share this part of your/our lives that we have kept hidden for so many years. At least thats the way I feel.

[eluuzion]

The last couple of months I have been getting the urge to drive dressed or naked. (so of couse I have been doing both).

But I have never felt a compulsion to "tell someone" about my CDing. My guess is that it is probably because I have never really been a fan of committing "social suicide"...:heehee::D:heehee:

I am going to make a wild prediction and say I do not expect to get the urge to tell someone anytime soon...but that is just me.

:love:

[missyvf]

I have felt that way for most of my dressing years, more so the later years. I express this urge when I shop by chatting about my dressing and my dressing adventures with the sales assistants. It makes for a most enjoyable experience. For the most part, I will never see these ladies again, so what do I have to worry about risking telling a friend and it leaks out.

[kimdl93]

Some folks may perceive a thrill in revealing themselves to others. Still, we are social animals. Hiding a key part of ourselves in a sense isolates us from others. So, it only makes sense that one would wish to share this part of oneself with others. Of course, anyone would fear of rejection by SOs or groups of people, termed the potential for social suicide above.

[Emily Ann Brown]

I first told my secretary. Her brother-in-law it turns out was a dresser too. We all need to be accepted.

Em

[Fuzzlette]

I like totalko othrs whothink the same as me, and no there are others whoare bolder

[adrienner99]

The great value of this site is that, when you are on it, you are not closeted.

Your feelings are just about the basic human need to share, intensified by the secrecy that closeted CDers live under. Open up and tell us more about your favorite girly things. Many of us will be delighted to hear them, and tell you ours.

[RachR]

Hiding a key part of ourselves in a sense isolates us from others. So, it only makes sense that one would wish to share this part of oneself with others.
For me this is exactly what it was like. My therapist (in therapy for other reasons than my dressing) suggested that my dressing can be isolating because I hide if from so many people. I few years back I told a very close friend of mine and she's been the most integral part in my acceptance process; it also brought us closer, and that is something I never expected. I also recently told a friend of mine of 6 years and he told me, "You have to be who you are, and there's nothing wrong with that." While we don't talk about my dressing like I do with my other friend he's accepting and if I have to bring it up it doesn't bother him. Also, the few connections I've made with people through this site have helped allot. It's just good to have someone you can talk to about something very personal and intimate.

Also, like missyvf I've told SA's but that hasn't been in order to make a connection; I just stopped feeling ashamed about shopping for myself. I still see these women on a semi-regular basis as I shop at the same store all the time (going today, actually :p ), but I don't think twice about them knowing. I've even shown a couple of them pictures of me dressed (unfortunately those two ladies no longer work at the store).

-Rachael

[Julie Denier]

My dressing is entirely private, due to business and family circumstances. I am content with this arrangement, and I enjoy the kinship we all share on this site.

[the_me]

I've been opening the closet door myself and sneaking out on occasion (been out only with other CD's at this point). Before actually having gone out dressed, the urge to tell someone, anyone was great. I mentioned it to a couple online contacts who I have chatted with for 2-5 years first with great results and support, and that gave me the courage I needed to tell my 2 best friends. One who I stay with every weekend, the other living overseas right now. My overseas friend has been super supportive about it, the one I stay with on weekends accepts but doesn't want to see me dressed (could be much worse, I'm content with that much, maybe more supportive in time). Ended up telling another friend, and showing pictures, while drunk and he was absolutely fascinated, that worked out well and taught me to be cautious while drinking, just in case... or maybe it was good to have no inhibitions or regard for how one will react. Guess that's why they call alcohol "Liquid Courage".

There are a lot of people I still want to tell, mainly family, some co-workers too... but I am apprehensive. It really is scary wondering what people will think or do if you tell them. I will admit it feels great telling someone, even better if they will be there to talk with you when you need it. I'm most worried about my family personally. Although they are great and would probably be accepting, I still fear what a negative reaction would be. Especially since I live at home with them right now.

But in short, yeah, you are right about the exposure compulsion, it exists, and obviously to varying degrees with different people.

[docrobbysherry]

Be very careful, Gurley! CDing is like toothpaste. Once it's out, u can NEVER put it back again!

I had that urge u r feeling. After years of dressing completely by myself, I came out online here. Then, I REALLY wanted to tell someone who knew me! I picked an old girlfriend who lives far away. At first, she seemed very supportive. Even asking to see pics of Sherry!
Then suddenly, she said, "No more Sherry!" It has perminantly soured our relationship!

Now, when I get that urge? I start an activity until it PASSES!

[Anna B]

I was "discovered" by a neighbour's adult daughter when she came and knocked on the door,but we had a long talk about it and I felt a huge sense of relief that someone else now knew about me.

Anna x

[Indie Femme]

For me it is the desire to be accepted for who I am and expressing myself and appearing as I wish. I have come out to a few people, my wife, a very good friend, my mother, my sister, some random sales clerks, and a few others. Right now I do not really feel like I need to tell everyone, but I do want to be able to let my hair grow out a bit and shave some body hair without having people flip out! Even though I am not announcing it to everyone, I also do not worry too much about someone else finding out. If they can deal with it and stay my friend then great, if they can't then they were just a 'conditional' friend anyway!

[TGMarla]

My advice to you is keep it to yourself, unless you're very sure of the reaction you're going to get. Loose lips sink ships.

[danielletorresani]

For me the compulsion to talk about it and for people to see me (or at least pics of me) is satisfied by this forum. For me, this is enough and I don't know that I'd want any more.

[billie earls]

I have only told one other person and that was over 30 years ago, we were lovers for a time but moving to another state changed that. Since then the only people that know are those I meet through the internet and that has been a great relief and the urge to tell those close to me has ebbed. I still would like to be able to talk face to face with others on how we feel because I can say a lot more then type. I wouldn't tell anyone close to you unless you're sure of their reaction.

[Debra Russell]

I think the reason I would like to tell anyone is that I have found a part of my life that is very dear to me and I want to share it with others -- but, why would they want to know? I have outed myself to a few, many may suspect but I always think twice - choke it down and ask why and if there is an up side to telling before revealing anything to anyone.

[KarenSusan]

I actually told a woman I used to work with a few years ago. She was alright with it and I used to visit her dressed on Halloween. She has since died, so no living person knows about Karen now.

[Crissy Kay]

For me the compulsion to talk about it and for people to see me (or at least pics of me) is satisfied by this forum. For me, this is enough and I don't know that I'd want any more.

I kind of feel the same way.

[CaitlynRenee]

As I've said before, and repeat now, I believe it would be fantastic if we could just have acceptance. No need for 'special' treatment as none would be needed. Think of how great it would be, if we could go out, whenever we wished, dressed as we wish, buy our lingerie when and where we wanted, regardless of who was around (male or female), family, friends, strangers, etc. without any repercussions at all. I'd like to have a friend, CDer or not, male or female, who would be my friend/buddy/pal/lover or whatever who I would not have to feel uncomfortable with. I'd enjoy having someone I could talk to about my most recent shopping trips, or have dinner with while enfemme or drab, or any number of other things. Most of all, is just plain old ordinary acceptance.

I don't know anyone here in San Antonio but I'm sure there are more than just me in town.

We are such a major part of life in the world and have the best country in the world for our lifestyle, right here in America. OK, Great Britain is a close 2nd to the lifestyle.

I will have the chance to meet some of my daughter's L/G/B/TS/TV/CD friends at Vanderbilt U. next week.

[Raynefall]

I understand completely... I have been thinking about telling my gf who is going to be my wife in the next few years. It's just whenever I think a good moment is there it either gets ruined or I chicken out. Because I don't know if she would understand and be okay with it. It's a tricky situation. But I think eventually it will come out and I think you will be the same way too.

[EllieOPKS]

I met another gurl on the internet and we met for drinks. I did share with her my exploration of CDing and she was very understanding. Since then I have looked for someone who could share Cding times with me privately but have not found anyone yet. I have no desire to tell anyone that knows me just because it would be too complicated and risky. However, I have had more and more overwhelming urges to go out in public. If I EVER learn to do makeup, I think I will venture a little further from the closet when I am out of town.

[CaitlynRenee]

I understand completely... I have been thinking about telling my gf who is going to be my wife in the next few years. It's just whenever I think a good moment is there it either gets ruined or I chicken out. Because I don't know if she would understand and be okay with it. It's a tricky situation. But I think eventually it will come out and I think you will be the same way too.

I recall reading of a CDer who had the same concerns and finally decided that he would 'out' himself to his GF after a very heavy night of intimate romance. Yeah, I mean lots of intense sexual activity. Things worked out just fine. Have you read "Alice In Genderland" yet? Covers these topics and more.

[sweetjan]

I will not tell my family members. I think only one may accept my crossdressing. My wifes knows and is SUPER supportive of it and helps me a whole lot. The urge does hit me at times to tell someone, then I realize all of you know! :hugs:

[CaitlynRenee]

I met another gurl on the internet and we met for drinks. I did share with her my exploration of CDing and she was very understanding. Since then I have looked for someone who could share Cding times with me privately but have not found anyone yet. I have no desire to tell anyone that knows me just because it would be too complicated and risky. However, I have had more and more overwhelming urges to go out in public. If I EVER learn to do makeup, I think I will venture a little further from the closet when I am out of town.

Funny thought just came to my mind. I have a son who lives in west KC (Olathe area). If he were a CDer, where would he buy his clothes. He's 6'8", good looking and would make a very pretty girl. Tall, but pretty.

[Raynefall]

I recall reading of a CDer who had the same concerns and finally decided that he would 'out' himself to his GF after a very heavy night of intimate romance. Yeah, I mean lots of intense sexual activity. Things worked out just fine. Have you read "Alice In Genderland" yet? Covers these topics and more.

Thanks for those awesome words. Lol. That would be a very sexy and amazing way for things to go. Also I have not read that. Maybe I will.

[RylieCD]

I get that urge every so often, Either I am already dressed up and just want to say the hell with it and not change before every one gets home or being out in guy mode and have the sudden urge to just screm who I am and immediatly go to the womens dept to shop

[Tess]

The last couple of months I have been getting the urge to drive dressed or naked. (so of couse I have been doing both).

But I have never felt a compulsion to "tell someone" about my CDing. My guess is that it is probably because I have never really been a fan of committing "social suicide"...:heehee::D:heehee:

I am going to make a wild prediction and say I do not expect to get the urge to tell someone anytime soon...but that is just me.

:love:

Makes sense to me...amen!

[Mikaela]

Have you read "Alice In Genderland" yet? Covers these topics and more.

I've read it and have talked to Alice several times (She's a regular at the Oxwood in Van Nuys) and I don't recall it implicitly recommend outing yourself.

I have CD and TS friends IRL and they can know both sides of me, but my regular life people (family, friends, co-workers) have no business or need to know.

[Vickie_CDTV]

More wisdom from my wise old ex-girlfriend:

1) You cannot untell someone once you tell them. If you are caught at least you have some plausible deniability, but when you confess it the cat is out of the bag.
2) No matter how certain you are that you know someone, you can never be 100% certain of what they will do with that information.
3) Most people don't care either way, or don't want to know.
4) In this world, anything that can be used against you, almost certainly will be used against you (a spin on the Miranda warning)

Unless the person you are telling has a deep, personal vested interest in you, think twice. There are folks out there who are totally out and make it work (being well off financially helps), but it isn't a practical option for most.

[Raynefall]

More wisdom from my wise old ex-girlfriend:

1) You cannot untell someone once you tell them. If you are caught at least you have some plausible deniability, but when you confess it the cat is out of the bag.
2) No matter how certain you are that you know someone, you can never be 100% certain of what they will do with that information.
3) Most people don't care either way, or don't want to know.
4) In this world, anything that can be used against you, almost certainly will be used against you (a spin on the Miranda warning)

Unless the person you are telling has a deep, personal vested interest in you, think twice. There are folks out there who are totally out and make it work (being well off financially helps), but it isn't a practical option for most.

These are exactly why I don't wanna say anything. Because we are in love and I would hate to ruin it with this. There are just some things that certain people can't handle.

[NyssaF]

I have told my two closest friends in the world - both women - and it has actually made our friendships stronger. My closest friend and I get together every now and then while I am dressed. She treats me exactly as she does when I am dressed in men's clothes. She has been my photog in the past, actually. :)

My only problem is shutting up. When I get stuck on the subject of dressing, I can talk and talk and talk about it. It's hard to make myself realize that not everyone is as thrilled about my dressing as I am. :D

I would say: know what your friends can handle. I have another friend who would never accept this part of me, and would walk away if she knew. And that's okay with me. I just know not to tell her anything about it. It's respecting her feelings. And using discretion.

That's my advice to you. :)

[Valerie Nova]

Yeah, I've only told one person, my ex-girlfriend. She thinks I have good fashion sense and is jealous of my figure. :p

But before I told her I dropped like a million hints so it wouldn't come as a shock. Turns out I act more feminine than I realize, because she noticed a bunch of ones that weren't deliberate too. Supposedly I sway when I walk...

[Anna B]

Yeah, I've only told one person, my ex-girlfriend. She thinks I have good fashion sense and is jealous of my figure. :p

But before I told her I dropped like a million hints so it wouldn't come as a shock. Turns out I act more feminine than I realize, because she noticed a bunch of ones that weren't deliberate too. Supposedly I sway when I walk...

Good for you darling, sounds promising for the future...

A x

[sometimes_miss]

Despite being in the closet about my dressing, I still have an overwhelming urge to tell someone about it <snip>
We all want to be loved and accepted for who we really are. Sometimes that desire gets so intense that it overcomes our normally careful behavior, and we want it so much that we expose ourselves to the wrong people. Tread carefully; breach the waters with innocent questions about how they see others who live outside the realm of normal. There are lots of threads on this, ways to introduce the topic of gender behavior outside 'the norm' and see how your subject responds to it. DON'T DON'T DON'T just out yourself without doing the groundwork first; the odds are definitely NOT in your favor. Of women, perhaps over 90% will automatically think you're gay, and the rest may know the difference, but only about 2% will accept it. In the case of men, supposedly about 2.5 % of us have crossdressed at some point or are crossdressers; of those, many will assume that you crossdress for the same reasons that they do, and may be very wrong in that assumption. Probably about 99% of straight guys won't want anything to do with you.
Tread carefully.

Edit: You have told someone. You have told all of us here, and you won't find a more accepting group of people anywhere on earth. I don't like men, I don't trust men, and physically, feel repulsed by men. But even I'm gradually coming to trust a few that are here.

[Sharon B.]

I would rather tell a stranger than tell someone I know, if the urge comes around I will go to a therapist and that person.
The closet door has a crack in it and I may make it larger but wouldn't think of telling any of my closest friends or family.

["Mary"]

I've been out with a few girl friends. I occasionally share a pic with one of them.

[Lucy_Bella]

You may wanna join a meet group, I know the one I joined just had a private meet at a members house .. This was the largest amount of people to have shown up to any meet as of yet, because it wasn't in a public place I am sure.. I didn't attend in fact since I have joined this group about 9 months ago I have only went out with them once..So by joining a group like this can do many things for you, like telling someone have others to dress with or like me knowing that staying in the closet was the right choice no matter how I have felt in the past..

[prettytoes]

After my wife discovered my secret, a very good friend of mine (who works for me) that I have known for almost 20 years saw there was a problem and asked me what was bothering me. It just so happens that he used to be a female impersonator. I had asked him questions about it in the past, but not too many as to let on that I was a closet dresser. He is a great person and a good friend who I trusted. I figured "what the hell", and told him that my wife discovered something about me and that I feared that I could lose her after 28 years of marriage. When he asked what it was, I removed my shoe and sock and showed him my bright pink toenails. He was not really shocked...it was really nothing to him. It was really nice to have someone to talk to about it. I told him about my skirts, panties, bras, etc. He is a good listener, and a great friend. I also found out that there are a few other mutual friends that cross dress! He has young adult children living at home and he is now divorced, so he cannot dress (no reason for him to have women's clothes with no wife around). We kid with each other, and he is a little jealous that I am able to dress, and he can't. My wife is growing more comfortable with it every day. She is an awesome woman, who has said that she loves me no matter what. Obviously, I knew this was a friend who would not judge me in any way, due to his past.

[NatalieBliss]

I felt exactly the same way about 6 years ago. I think it was because I felt lonely and isolated being completely in the closet. I told my little sister and my best guy friend. Both where extremely awkward (because of me) but I must say I choose the right people. I felt a lot better about myself and it was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

[CaitlynRenee]

No, it DOESN'T specifically recommended it, but it does mention how Alice finally broached the subject to her SO.

I'll agree though 'outing' yourself to anyone is a highly personal thing. I'm lucky in that certain members of my family know and are fully receptive. In fact, with the youngest daughter and the SO, it's a 'non-issue'. As for coworkers, I don't have that problem. I've been retired from two particularly macho careers for some time now. Marine Corps and law enforcement.

I might add, Mikaela, your photo is rather stunning. Very pretty.

[Frédérique]

Despite being in the closet about my dressing, I still have an overwhelming urge to tell someone about it, most likely a close friend. Not really sure as to why I want to do this but I can take a guess.......of the uneducated kind, of course. Maybe I have stifled the urge far too long. I do get chances to dress but have to go through long periods where I don't, which just increases the desire. Is this a search for an understanding friend, or just part of the thrill of crossdressing? Anyone else have this exposure compulsion?

I’ve felt the urge to tell someone about my crossdressing from time to time, because I think it’s a very interesting, unique and beautiful thing to do! I suppose this stems from my "take" on my own crossdressing and the joy it brings to me – I feel I’m an interesting person because of what I do, and the secretive nature I embrace makes it (and me) all the more… mysterious. It’s disappointing that I cannot reveal myself without censure, but I’ve come to accept this gracefully. I can keep a secret, so I shall, but in my way of thinking I’m rather special – in this way I would be thrilled to find out someone I know is a crossdresser, even though that person would probably be as secretive as I am, by necessity…


But I have never felt a compulsion to "tell someone" about my CDing. My guess is that it is probably because I have never really been a fan of committing "social suicide"...

I’ve had this indescribable desire exactly three times, and lived to tell about it. I told my friend, and she was fascinated and supportive; I told my ex-girlfriend, and she was initially supportive yet amused, then unsupportive, dismissive and disgusted; and I told my sister, who was amused, supportive, and not too surprised. I have never had the urge to tell a male friend, but, fortunately, they are in short supply or, as they say online, temporarily unavailable…
:heehee:

[LACD]

I came out fully to Dear Wife about 5 years ago. It was such a great relief. We have two grown sons and neither know of my dressing. I have been dressing since I can remember, about 50 years now. I'm so far back in the closet it's pitiful. I would love to have someone just to share feelings and talk to. I've often thought about trying to meet with another CD'er but am very nervous about it. I guess what I'm saying is that if things are right, yes I would tell some one. It's not a perfect world, but we make the best of it. Love to you all.:2c:

[Katrina Black]

I think thats why many of us are here ..to tell someone who will listen and not judge us .if women can wear mens clothes why cant i wear theirs never will understand it

[christina s]

I would love to have someone i could tell, right now in my current situation most would think i was lying or a freak . Being a cross dresser after powerlifting for a couple of years isn't easy .

[nancy58]

Remember that you can't be arrested for driving en femme, but you can be arrested for driving naked. Moreover, en femme, most people won't notice you.

[Cari]

Try a support group or go to a convention plenty of time to talk and much less stress.
I was very fortunate in that I found someone who I already respected and knew online, just didnt know they also dressed.
Made things very easy for me.

The support group and nites out, were a great chance to talk to others, learn and then decide who I would tell outside the community.

[alison_nyc]

The support group and nites out, were a great chance to talk to others, learn and then decide who I would tell outside the community.
The big leap with the support group is that attending does require that you're at least somewhat at peace with yourself.

It's a bit more than just doing the thrill walk down the street to get your mail, shopping en femme, or driving en femme. That's all about passing. Going to that group means being ok with others (even those just like you) knowing your secret. Big step for a lot of folks. The forum is about as far as I've gotten, although I desire much more.

[Cait]

I totally get what you mean about wanting to tell someone, I've been feeling that way quite a bit recently. This forum is wonderful and it does feel great being out somewhere but I have the yearning for actually physically telling someone.
Having said all the above, I can't think of anybody that I feel would be particularly interested in hearing about it (the narcissist in me rearing its head). Its not that I deliberatly disguise my crossdressing tendencies in any way, and as my first sentence states I would feel entirely comfortable with telling people, its more that the conversation rarely heads towards the subject.
Apologies for such a self-contradictory post.
x

[Angiemead12]

I did it to be true to myself. :)

[Deanna B]

hi i want to tell someone but i am a loner and no friends so i've put it down to desperately wanting to go out dressed and i've got a new wig and make up so it could be soon ?love deanna b xx

[NicoleScott]

I understand the desire to share my crossdressing with others but still want to maintain privacy. I think it's because I'm looking for feedback, recognition, acceptance.

[Krissie1962]

the need to be seen in feme,for me its overwhelmingly strong and scary.out at nite in a dress driving around noplace to go but crazy,parks .quick dropins to p/o box in guirl mode hopeing to be seen.yeh they see me on the survailance cams im sure.I got cought one day a while back while shoping in male drab,at the grocery store I spotted a pair of slippers I liked so I bought them .at check out the girl said these would look nice on you"""I replied confidently I hope so.I would haved loved to chat with her GG.about the need to come out and be me . yeh then you have to consider s/s... social suicide.

[SweetTransvestite]

I came an inch within finally revealing it to one of my best friends since highschool tonight, fortunately the subject somehow wandered away from my near revelation.

I dunno, half of me wants to to see which friends truly stick around, then the other half doesn't want to lose the ones I feel I have. For now I still leave my explanations at, "costuming" but it's expanded a little beyond that since then. :-/

Someday, someday.

[Julie-Ann Fletcher]

I would love to tell lots of people,a couple know about my other side one is quite happy blackberry contact and one hates it wife (the cow) i dont get a lot of chances now to dress which does make me sad

[JenniferR771]

I have met a few of the local people who are online on this forum. Such a relief to talk with a sister for coffee or lunch. And now a local support group. Network Trans Resource Group.

Also, I have told many thrift store clerks. Some call me by name whenever I step into the store. A few were just polite. Most were very cooperative and some even watch for special things they think I might want.

[tabithavalentine]

Take this for what it's worth, as this story ultimately led to my participation on this site...

I told a few friends because of the same urge to release the secret, but made sure they were people that lived far away (out of state) so a wrong turn would have minimal splash damage.

One of the people I told was a paranoid (diagnosed!) ex that was always trying get me to back together with her, despite knowing I was engaged (now married). It allowed us to become close. Unfortunately, I got too dependent on our secret talks. She disappeared for a while, but recently came back online. I started talking to her, but accidentally left the chat window up. Yup.

Needless to say, the wife read the convo and thought I was cheating on her. I was forced to come out of the dressing closet. It worked out, but I was convinced I was headed for divorce when I told her. We're still working through everything, but I'm at least hopeful and now feel incredibly free.

I was lucky. Others have been as well. Still, don't forget there's also the risk of everything going very very wrong.

[kendra_gurl]

It is always a thrill to out oneself to a totally safe stranger. But once you tell anyone you know that feeling of sharing may soon become a constant fear of your secret being shared with colse friends of you friend.
Untill your at a point where you can share it with a wife, girlfriend or SO, I'd stick to sharing only with people online or others you meet while out dressed. Approval is what we all seek but it has a Price

[EvelynGrace]

I told one of my GG friends about it. She told me she wasn't surprised, laughed, but then was supportive.

However, we are no longer friends due to other circumstances, so outside of here, no one knows.

[christiecd]

I have been floating ideas that I dress to some of my female friends. I've come up with various reasons to bring it up -- I have to dress up for a party, my friend just found out her boyfriend dresses up, etc. After I've gotten them talking about it I've always asked "how would you feel if your boyfriend dressed up?" in the hopes I'd get an affirmative response. Unfortunately, most of them weren't really receptive to the idea.

I do want a friend I can confide in, not just because I want to have someone to talk to about dressing, but it would be great to have girl talk and to have someone to shop with and talk fashion! Until then I'm stuck with this board lol.

-Christie

[Sophie_C]

Nope, not interested in opening that closet to anyone. I've got enough problems to deal with in my own personal life and there's really nothing to be gained by it. Then again, it's a lot heavier thing admitting you're trangendered to someone than simply a crossdresser, so it's a slightly different story for me.

[Nancie64]

A lot of info on this tread. I too have been dressing for over 50 years or so and wish now that I would have gotten a lot more comfortable with it when I was younger, but than 40 or 50 years ago, you might have been stoned if you were found out. My SO is very accepting of my dressing, as was my 1st wife. I do sometimes drive efemme, and do stop at waysides or to take a look in a store window. Do I want the world to know, it would be nice, but only a few people in this modern day society seem to understand how we as CD's feel. I did not ask for these feels, they just came about. I have a sister in law that knows, and you bet, it is nice to have someone that drops hints now and than about clothes and shoes and etc. But even though others have their own hang ups, they might be faster to judge us. Enjoy it, take a ride, and relax.

[EvelynGrace]

I do want a friend I can confide in, not just because I want to have someone to talk to about dressing, but it would be great to have girl talk and to have someone to shop with and talk fashion! Until then I'm stuck with this board lol.

-Christie

I'm with you on this. I think going through this would be easier with a natural female there to help me, and to be able to shop and fashion talk with.

[NyssaF]

We all want to be loved and accepted for who we really are. Sometimes that desire gets so intense that it overcomes our normally careful behavior, and we want it so much that we expose ourselves to the wrong people.

Can I just say that was brilliantly written? Thank you for that, Lexi!

[mjryo]

I don't get the urge to dress that often, but do love it when I get to do it. For some time I've had the urge to tell my wife, but do not want non-crossdressers to know. I feel like telling my wife in the hopes that she'll be ok with it and I will have more time to dress!

[VioletJourney]

I'm going to tell everyone sometime soon. Just waiting for an opening.

[Proteus]

I don't have an urge to tell anyone, but if I were to come out I'd have a lot of explaining to do. I wouldn't want people to be uncomfortable and afraid to ask questions, or make wild speculations. I'd rather not become the next village idiot.

[NyssaF]

We seem to be a very "tell your wife!" group here, and I am definitely among that group. Odds are that your wife is going to find out eventually. Better to tell her sooner rather than later. But set your expectations correctly. I'd say expect for her NOT to be okay with it, and for there to be a big fight and lots of drama.

Who is "everyone" for you?

[wantstocrossdress]

i've told my ex and just recently my gf.
both were shocked but its nothing to be worried about nor is it the kind that would damage or destroy our relationship.

what i did... after i was in bed with either as a man, i slowly hinted that i wanted to see them in stockings. they agreed, and i offered to wear with them. i gradually confessed that i did more than just wear pantyhose... i wore them with heels, gloves, and makeup... so far all is ok.

[Cullaby]

I wouldn't mind my friends finding out about my dressing habits. But I don't want to have to tell them, thats very draining. I'd rather just have them magically know somehow.

[Lady_Chaos]

I was like that a few years ago. I encourage you to share with your close friends, slowly hint things see how they react to related items. If you think they can understand let them know. As you keep telling friends your confidence will get a huge boost! Girls are the best for this! Some of my girl friends want me to take them shopping when they loose some weight, I cannot wait!

One guy I work with knows and he has seen me in tonnes of my outfits as we played video games together, its an incredible feeling to come out (playing shooter games on Xbox in heels is kind of cool when your buddy is right there). Right now most of the girl 'friends' know about my dressing. 2 of the guy friends know. All of which are fine with it :D.

[Ash Leland]

Hm...now and then. I'm out to two close friends, but it's not something they can really relate to, and I'm living with my parents whom I'm closeted with. I think life would be easier if I could tell my family about it, but I just don't think that would be a smart thing to do right now. I agree that the long stretches of no dressing sharpen the wish, which also compells you to want to tell the people you're closeted with.

It's funny. My mom has always lived by her own rules, sometimes to her detriment, and always advises other people to do that and to be true to themselves no matter what, but if she knew about this, she definitely would not tell me to live by my own rules. Sometimes the biggest lie ever is a demand for total honesty.

[cassandra22]

my wife is the only person that i know of that knows,she sometimes encourages it,wanting me to do a fashion show for her,,when we are shopping and has to go to the restroom,she laughs saying i know where youll be,"window shopping" we call it.unfortunatly shes not always in the mood to talk about it,see me dressed or hear about an outfit im excited about.I have very few friends i could come out to so thats the reason i found this place,,hoping to find someone to share this with,talk about clothes,or tell them how i went fishing at a local park,with my fem clothes on underneath my jeans,and had the chance to shed them and fish ala-fem,

[Misti]

I will not tell my family members. I think only one may accept my crossdressing. My wife knows and is SUPER supportive of it and helps me a whole lot. The urge does hit me at times to tell someone, then I realize all of you know! :hugs:

Spoken for me with panache, Jan. Since only my SO knows, and just today she told me my fingernails are like, "fangs," I simply let my swinging "fanny" do the talk'en for me now. :battingeyelashes:

That being said, it is very lonely at the "Top" of anything, Gurly. You will feel "Oh so much better," when you do find that someone you are inquiring about?

How to go about it? Dunno, sorry! But, best of luck, and good hunting! Oh, and do bag yourself an SO like mine. Oh ya! :daydreaming:

Happiness always, and Hugs,
M.