BreenaDion
04-30-2011, 04:39 AM
Some one asked me to share my experience on Coming OUT, guess im like alot of others but I have no more FEAR! That point I guess sponded from decades of depression where as I Just Dont Care Attitude. That started mid dec 2010 when after my Poem " The End of the Beginning" and it truely was the end of that nightmare. I needed some help , guidance to move forward and to be able to enjoy that moment of another person, not be ashamed like I was for being in a transition stage and of the person I was, A Transsexual.
I am Totally OUT and I cant hide any more becuase you just defeat the pupose of your new role. To be a woman in the public eye, OMG this is so unreal, you will have the chance I hope to feal the awesomeness of the feminine flow that captivates your entire esssence of femininity and of Self. Once you have found the courage and lack of fear you too will be able to join me as I some times STRUT and OMG its awesome.
To get there I started slowly back in sept of 2010, last summer being on HRT for 9 months I was being recognized as a female while dressing androgynously. I did the very little things and kept on it and didnt step back. One was just taking my long hair out of a ponty tail. No big deal as you would look at it but its a big significant step. Then taking my 6 studded earring out an replacing them with loops of different sizes. Small things are so huge in comparision like not wearing womans black sneakers that look like shoes and wearing black plain womans boots under boot cut jeans. Not tucking the jeans in thats to much right away and more of a give away. You still want to hide but you come out real slowly and no hurry but never turn back.
The winter came and I was able to wear somewhat of blouses as I had to hide under a mans jacket still but very plain looking. The major step was putting that jacket down an wearing a womans one, huge step because you just uncovered your self. Do thses steps as you feal comfortable with peoples reactions on your presentation. My Gender Specialist kept bugging me to wear make-up because TS need that to help be more passable. I hardly ever used it, had 2 lessons and wore it twice but thats comen next. I finished my 6 weekly session of pro jel facials from my ethatician. She is beautiful inside and out and like me , had Trauma as a little girl, you get that ugly picture. So im going back a little for electrology and help her where she wants it.
As I posted ill paste.
Two pieces of advice I have recieved have helped me out immensely in the last month. One from my Gender specialist, as I was telling her how I have anxiety over men in some ways and the general population. She said just smile when meeting people for a second or so, I do understand the quirks behind that. Second and most important "Best advice I have had in my life" from my support group leader. I was asking about which bathroom I am suppose to use a month ago and her focus was about "Attitude". I understand what she meant but I took it one further and used that "Attitude" or self confidence in presenting myself as a woman. OMG this has been paying dividends for me.
Im at home , I cant work because I keep getting more degenertive disks in my spine , lumbar section and now the neck. As I have Come out I feal the need for social interaction. You buy things and pay bills an bank in person and these people are so nice to your presentation its very Addicting just to hear them call mam, she, what ever. Its so awesome you trive for more. Mainly because they have to keep being polite and who wants to be rude to a customer an lose your job.
Also I challenge myself to push the envelope and I havent had a mean comment yet. Guess its the enconomy and also I try to be very polite, I wont mind the negitive, I need the experience and I can handle it, hopefully.
Ask away to those who are behind me with issues, I and others will do our best to help. Hope I helped in any small way.
I have found about myself is that some times I like to travel the path less taken or I will just cut a new Trail. Love you guys.
Breena.
I am Totally OUT and I cant hide any more becuase you just defeat the pupose of your new role. To be a woman in the public eye, OMG this is so unreal, you will have the chance I hope to feal the awesomeness of the feminine flow that captivates your entire esssence of femininity and of Self. Once you have found the courage and lack of fear you too will be able to join me as I some times STRUT and OMG its awesome.
To get there I started slowly back in sept of 2010, last summer being on HRT for 9 months I was being recognized as a female while dressing androgynously. I did the very little things and kept on it and didnt step back. One was just taking my long hair out of a ponty tail. No big deal as you would look at it but its a big significant step. Then taking my 6 studded earring out an replacing them with loops of different sizes. Small things are so huge in comparision like not wearing womans black sneakers that look like shoes and wearing black plain womans boots under boot cut jeans. Not tucking the jeans in thats to much right away and more of a give away. You still want to hide but you come out real slowly and no hurry but never turn back.
The winter came and I was able to wear somewhat of blouses as I had to hide under a mans jacket still but very plain looking. The major step was putting that jacket down an wearing a womans one, huge step because you just uncovered your self. Do thses steps as you feal comfortable with peoples reactions on your presentation. My Gender Specialist kept bugging me to wear make-up because TS need that to help be more passable. I hardly ever used it, had 2 lessons and wore it twice but thats comen next. I finished my 6 weekly session of pro jel facials from my ethatician. She is beautiful inside and out and like me , had Trauma as a little girl, you get that ugly picture. So im going back a little for electrology and help her where she wants it.
As I posted ill paste.
Two pieces of advice I have recieved have helped me out immensely in the last month. One from my Gender specialist, as I was telling her how I have anxiety over men in some ways and the general population. She said just smile when meeting people for a second or so, I do understand the quirks behind that. Second and most important "Best advice I have had in my life" from my support group leader. I was asking about which bathroom I am suppose to use a month ago and her focus was about "Attitude". I understand what she meant but I took it one further and used that "Attitude" or self confidence in presenting myself as a woman. OMG this has been paying dividends for me.
Im at home , I cant work because I keep getting more degenertive disks in my spine , lumbar section and now the neck. As I have Come out I feal the need for social interaction. You buy things and pay bills an bank in person and these people are so nice to your presentation its very Addicting just to hear them call mam, she, what ever. Its so awesome you trive for more. Mainly because they have to keep being polite and who wants to be rude to a customer an lose your job.
Also I challenge myself to push the envelope and I havent had a mean comment yet. Guess its the enconomy and also I try to be very polite, I wont mind the negitive, I need the experience and I can handle it, hopefully.
Ask away to those who are behind me with issues, I and others will do our best to help. Hope I helped in any small way.
I have found about myself is that some times I like to travel the path less taken or I will just cut a new Trail. Love you guys.
Breena.