Kathi Lake
04-30-2011, 12:47 PM
It's amazing how a day can be so 'blah' in the shopping department, and yet so nice and normal and fun.
My day started out by dropping my daughter off at school, and then returning home (after a quick Egg McMuffin and a large Coke, of course) to finally get my girl on. I had been looking forward to it since my last aborted outing (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?148938) a few months ago, but just hadn't had the time!
After doing my makeup and getting dressed (in the outfit my daughter chose for me. Awwwwwwww. :)), it was off to the bank and to Ulta. I just love how normal everyone seems at the bank. Never a hint of "What's wrong with him?!" or anything like that. Instead, it's just, "Hey, how's the new house?" "Doing anything fun today?" "I love your top! You always have such cute clothes." Sure, they probably have a lot to talk about after I'm gone, but who cares? I'm gone. :)
I was chatting with one of my Ulta friends, asking about people, pregnancies - you know, stuff - and one of them came back from the salon. When I turned around to face her, her eyes got real big, and she said, "Oh my God! Wowwww." I asked if she had never seen me dressed, and she said no. She had seen pictures, and heard the other girls talk about me, but never in person. She said, "As I was coming up I thought, "Wow, who is that woman. She's tall and what a great body." I said, "Well, I'll give you tall, but 'great body' Seriously?" She said, "Well, . . . from behind you looked gorgeous!" I said, "Yeah, then I turned around and ruined it." :) She said, "That's not what I meant! You're pretty!"
After a bit more chatting with the girls, I headed out. Destination: Somewhere. I really had no destination/item of clothing in mind. This trip was just for fun. I drove to Salt Lake to the Fashion Place Mall. My first stop was Nordstrom. I found the perfect pair of shoes! Unfortunately, they were a pair of Jimmy Choos. $695.00 (on sale! :)). Sigh. I wandered in the mall proper. There I encountered probably the worst case of "Hey, it's a tranny!" I've had. As I passed a kiosk selling something (I never pay attention), the guy said, "Ma'am, would you like to try a free sample?" I said no thanks. He looked at me closer as I passed. I then heard him yell, "Hey, Andy!" and knew he was letting someone know to look at me. Sure enough, as I passed the next kiosk, I saw 'Andy' turn to look at me. I smiled at him, he smiled at me and I went on my way. Sure, it's not the most severe reaction out there, but I usually fly pretty much under the radar, so it was kind of weird.
I stopped off in bebe, a few boutiques, Dillard's, and more, making my way through the mall. For the most part, no one else looked at me funny, my interactions with the other shoppers and the SAs were normal (i.e. everyone interacted with me as if I were a normal person), and it was just a normal shopping day - with one difference I'll get into later.
I then went to Talbots as everything was on sale for 30% off. I circled the store a few times, but nothing leapt to "Gotta-have-it" levels. Leaving Talbots, I drove on to White House Black Market. Most of my favorite people were there (OK, they're all my favorites :)) - the manager, an older SA who always makes it a point to give me hugs and talk about my family, the new gorgeous young blonde SA who is moving to California soon (I told her she'd fit in just fine!) - but no Michelle. Apparently, her first day back from her baby will be this Monday. So I missed her by three days. Sigh. Oh well, it's not like I'm not going to be stopping in soon. :)
They asked me what I was looking for. I answered, "Nothing, really. But you know how all this works, you fill my room with pretty stuff, and I try it on and see what 'sticks.' They took me around, but nothing seemed even tryon-worthy. Crap! :)
And that brings me to the 'blah' day comment above. At the end of the day, I realized that I literally tried on nothing!! Nothing made me go oooh or ahhh. (I must be coming down with something! Either that or I was more tired than I thought as I woke up my daughter at 3:30 in the morning to watch the Royal wedding with me). I chatted a bit about this with the younger SA (whose outfit was incredible, but the way; black tights, knee-length boots, ribbed low-cut top, tiered taffeta miniskirt in a gorgeous pattern, and a ruffled crop cardigan - and a body to pull it all off. Jealous!!). I told her that when I received the latest catalog, for the first time nothing screamed out at me "You'll look incredible in this . You gotta buy me!" She agreed and said that sure, there was a lot of cute stuff, but nothing worth using even her employee discount for. I agreed and said it was even a bigger issue for me as I don't wear these clothes for work, but more for fun, and when I bought something, I had to - had to - love it. She said, "Well, I've never seen you in anything that you didn't look amazing in. We love to see you come out of the dressing room in the next outfit. It always blows our minds!" :)
So, after a round of goodbyes (and a hug :)), I was off to home. After taking a few quick pics (below), I washed off the girl, and picked my daughter up. As soon as she got in the car, she asked me what I bought. I told her nothing. She said, "Oh, too bad." I thought about it, and said, "Well, there's always next time." I was thinking, though. Was it really too bad that I didn't buy anything? If so, why was I smiling like a goon? I came to the realization that it wasn't about the buying. It wasn't about the shopping. It was about the 'being.' For a few short hours, I got to be Kathi. Sure, I'm a guy in a dress. Sure, I'm not fooling anyone. You know what? I'm good with that. I got to do what I wanted to do with no fear. The lady at Ulta who had never seen me dressed asked me, "So, when did you finally have the confidence to go out fully dressed?" I told her once I realized that the only thing holding me back was not others, but me, that I swallowed my fear and boldly went out and did what I wanted to do - not what others wanted me to do. I haven't looked back since.
So, I'll close this thread out now (Yes!! I actually did it in one post! I wasn't sure I could. :)). Again, the main points I want to hammer home are this;
Fear keeps us from who we are and what we want to do. It doesn't have to be that way
It's not about the buying. It's about the being.
And now for the pictures, if you like. Since I didn't buy anything new, you'll just have to be content with my shopping outfit:
156937 156935
156936
My day started out by dropping my daughter off at school, and then returning home (after a quick Egg McMuffin and a large Coke, of course) to finally get my girl on. I had been looking forward to it since my last aborted outing (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?148938) a few months ago, but just hadn't had the time!
After doing my makeup and getting dressed (in the outfit my daughter chose for me. Awwwwwwww. :)), it was off to the bank and to Ulta. I just love how normal everyone seems at the bank. Never a hint of "What's wrong with him?!" or anything like that. Instead, it's just, "Hey, how's the new house?" "Doing anything fun today?" "I love your top! You always have such cute clothes." Sure, they probably have a lot to talk about after I'm gone, but who cares? I'm gone. :)
I was chatting with one of my Ulta friends, asking about people, pregnancies - you know, stuff - and one of them came back from the salon. When I turned around to face her, her eyes got real big, and she said, "Oh my God! Wowwww." I asked if she had never seen me dressed, and she said no. She had seen pictures, and heard the other girls talk about me, but never in person. She said, "As I was coming up I thought, "Wow, who is that woman. She's tall and what a great body." I said, "Well, I'll give you tall, but 'great body' Seriously?" She said, "Well, . . . from behind you looked gorgeous!" I said, "Yeah, then I turned around and ruined it." :) She said, "That's not what I meant! You're pretty!"
After a bit more chatting with the girls, I headed out. Destination: Somewhere. I really had no destination/item of clothing in mind. This trip was just for fun. I drove to Salt Lake to the Fashion Place Mall. My first stop was Nordstrom. I found the perfect pair of shoes! Unfortunately, they were a pair of Jimmy Choos. $695.00 (on sale! :)). Sigh. I wandered in the mall proper. There I encountered probably the worst case of "Hey, it's a tranny!" I've had. As I passed a kiosk selling something (I never pay attention), the guy said, "Ma'am, would you like to try a free sample?" I said no thanks. He looked at me closer as I passed. I then heard him yell, "Hey, Andy!" and knew he was letting someone know to look at me. Sure enough, as I passed the next kiosk, I saw 'Andy' turn to look at me. I smiled at him, he smiled at me and I went on my way. Sure, it's not the most severe reaction out there, but I usually fly pretty much under the radar, so it was kind of weird.
I stopped off in bebe, a few boutiques, Dillard's, and more, making my way through the mall. For the most part, no one else looked at me funny, my interactions with the other shoppers and the SAs were normal (i.e. everyone interacted with me as if I were a normal person), and it was just a normal shopping day - with one difference I'll get into later.
I then went to Talbots as everything was on sale for 30% off. I circled the store a few times, but nothing leapt to "Gotta-have-it" levels. Leaving Talbots, I drove on to White House Black Market. Most of my favorite people were there (OK, they're all my favorites :)) - the manager, an older SA who always makes it a point to give me hugs and talk about my family, the new gorgeous young blonde SA who is moving to California soon (I told her she'd fit in just fine!) - but no Michelle. Apparently, her first day back from her baby will be this Monday. So I missed her by three days. Sigh. Oh well, it's not like I'm not going to be stopping in soon. :)
They asked me what I was looking for. I answered, "Nothing, really. But you know how all this works, you fill my room with pretty stuff, and I try it on and see what 'sticks.' They took me around, but nothing seemed even tryon-worthy. Crap! :)
And that brings me to the 'blah' day comment above. At the end of the day, I realized that I literally tried on nothing!! Nothing made me go oooh or ahhh. (I must be coming down with something! Either that or I was more tired than I thought as I woke up my daughter at 3:30 in the morning to watch the Royal wedding with me). I chatted a bit about this with the younger SA (whose outfit was incredible, but the way; black tights, knee-length boots, ribbed low-cut top, tiered taffeta miniskirt in a gorgeous pattern, and a ruffled crop cardigan - and a body to pull it all off. Jealous!!). I told her that when I received the latest catalog, for the first time nothing screamed out at me "You'll look incredible in this . You gotta buy me!" She agreed and said that sure, there was a lot of cute stuff, but nothing worth using even her employee discount for. I agreed and said it was even a bigger issue for me as I don't wear these clothes for work, but more for fun, and when I bought something, I had to - had to - love it. She said, "Well, I've never seen you in anything that you didn't look amazing in. We love to see you come out of the dressing room in the next outfit. It always blows our minds!" :)
So, after a round of goodbyes (and a hug :)), I was off to home. After taking a few quick pics (below), I washed off the girl, and picked my daughter up. As soon as she got in the car, she asked me what I bought. I told her nothing. She said, "Oh, too bad." I thought about it, and said, "Well, there's always next time." I was thinking, though. Was it really too bad that I didn't buy anything? If so, why was I smiling like a goon? I came to the realization that it wasn't about the buying. It wasn't about the shopping. It was about the 'being.' For a few short hours, I got to be Kathi. Sure, I'm a guy in a dress. Sure, I'm not fooling anyone. You know what? I'm good with that. I got to do what I wanted to do with no fear. The lady at Ulta who had never seen me dressed asked me, "So, when did you finally have the confidence to go out fully dressed?" I told her once I realized that the only thing holding me back was not others, but me, that I swallowed my fear and boldly went out and did what I wanted to do - not what others wanted me to do. I haven't looked back since.
So, I'll close this thread out now (Yes!! I actually did it in one post! I wasn't sure I could. :)). Again, the main points I want to hammer home are this;
Fear keeps us from who we are and what we want to do. It doesn't have to be that way
It's not about the buying. It's about the being.
And now for the pictures, if you like. Since I didn't buy anything new, you'll just have to be content with my shopping outfit:
156937 156935
156936