If I only had the courage, I would...?

[Sophie86]

We have the "if you only could (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?152775-If-you-only-could)" thread, and the "courage of the crossdresser (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?152874-The-Courage-of-the-Crossdresser)" thread, so I was thinking of combining them. I interpreted "if you only could" to mean that the thing you would like to do was metaphysically impossible, but I noticed that some people took it otherwise. Since it is courage that limits most of our choices, I wonder what people are currently looking for the courage to do. I get my courage in installments. I get just enough to do something new, and then I have to scrape around for the courage to tackle the next new thing. Right now, I'm looking for the courage to incorporate more femme into my everyday appearance. I want earrings, and I want to be able to walk around in public with my toenails painted.

What are you currently looking for the courage to do? And have you taken any baby steps towards your goal? :)

[SuzanneBender]

Great question Sophie. I guess I am looking for the courage to let more people know who I am. I am out of the closet, but only in such a way that there are just a few connections between my male and female presentation and just a handful of people that know both. I can't do this right now because of my current career, but one day I would love the courage to be comfortable enough with all of this to let the whole world know.

I would also like the courage to pursue a career as a Hollywood stunt woman because thats a career that takes a lot of courage especially if you are in movies about careers that take a lot of courage like firefighters, police officers or even stunt women. :heehee:

[patti1569]

I shaved my legs for the first time this winter (not very courageous), but I loved it so much that I decided I could not let the hair grow back! With the weather getting nicer it was time to go out into the big bad world in shorts. So this did take a bit of courage for me to manage. But guess what (I'm sure it's not a big surprise to most), no one noticed! Or at least no one said anything. That being said, if I can get enough courage, I would go out dressed to a local club and have a great time! As my courage builds, that day gets closer and closer.

[ReineD]

Right now, I'm looking for the courage to incorporate more femme into my everyday appearance. I want earrings, and I want to be able to walk around in public with my toenails painted.

Question: what would be your ultimate goal, after you've been wearing earrings and painting your nails on a daily basis, and perhaps even have grown your hair out?

Do you think you might like to dress femininely every day, and perhaps do something about having more permanent breasts?

I hope you don't mind my question. Most of the CDers I know keep a separation between their femme and guy presentations. I'm just wondering if you ultimately are after an androgynous appearance or if you would like to slowly change to a permanent feminine presentation.

Thanks for your response. :hugs:

[Sophie86]

Question: what would be your ultimate goal, after you've been wearing earrings and painting your nails on a daily basis, and perhaps even have grown your hair out?

Do you think you might like to dress femininely every day, and perhaps do something about having more permanent breasts?

I hope you don't mind my question. Most of the CDers I know keep a separation between their femme and guy presentations. I'm just wondering if you ultimately are after an androgynous appearance or if you would like to slowly change to a permanent feminine presentation.

Thanks for your response. :hugs:

Good question!

I want a more androgynous look in my male presentation. I would also like to be able to flip back and forth easier. Bringing my male look closer to my feminine one will help with that.

(FYI, there's no hope for the hair, alas. In fact, I shaved it off yesterday, because I was tired of sporting the fringe. I have the Sinead O'Connor look now. Or Vin Diesel, whichever.)

[prettytoes]

I have to agree with you, Sophie...I would love to go out in public, especially to the beach with my toenails brightly painted a fun color. I really get jealous when my wife has bright colorful toenails at the beach, and mine are plain and drab!

[kendra_gurl]

Sophie I too would love to have my ears pierced and since your have shaved your head now its perfect to quickly just wear the wig of your choice. My toes are always painted but I never show them unless dressed en femme

[ReineD]

I want a more androgynous look in my male presentation. I would also like to be able to flip back and forth easier. Bringing my male look closer to my feminine one will help with that.

Well, if you're interested, this is how my SO accomplished this:

First, he already has very long hair that he keeps in a ponytail at the nape of his neck in guy mode. He works in an academic environment and the look is quite commonplace among the men there.

He also got his ears pierced which improved his options for earrings, but he doesn't wear studs in guy mode though. He does keep his legs shaved and his arm hair trimmed on a daily basis. This makes it infinitely easier and faster to get ready.

Other things: he keeps his eyebrows trimmed but not in such a way that they look overly feminine in guy mode. They look perfect in femme mode too. He is careful to wear sun block on his forearms in the summer, so as to not develop the "guy" Tshirt tanlines. He has grown out his nails and he keeps them shaped, so now he doesn't have to fiddle with the press-on nails when he goes out. He also over time has come to the conclusion that his nails are fine just the way they are when he does dress, since there are many, many GGs out there who don't wear nail polish either. This also cuts down on time considerably.

And last he had a few laser facial hair removal sessions, so when he does dress the beard shadow doesn't show up after four or five hours like before. So in short, he now goes through the same steps as I do in order to get ready to go out (shower, dress, & makeup), except in his case he puts forms into a bra and puts on hip pads which adds 5 minutes to the time it takes me to get ready. :)

If my SO should wear the nail polish in guy mode, or were to begin wearing a bra, femme earrings, perhaps light makeup, etc in guy mode, then he would not look androgynous at all. He would rather look like he was trying to appear feminine and it would be noticeable. I'm not saying it is wrong to do this, some people do want to slowly morph into a more permanent feminine appearance since this is perhaps more in line with their fundamental gender identity.

But, I think it is misleading for someone to tell themselves that men who wear nail polish, earrings, makeup, etc are androgynous in our culture, unless of course they are goth or at the cutting edge of the NYC fashion scene. :)

[Loni]

well as for courage, i do not like crowds, or being on stage or just being the "center" of focus. but i will be walking with the gems this year in a southern bell dress in the sf trans gender parade.
with some luck my face will not be plastered on the nightly news for my co-workers to see.
but a girls got to have fun.

Loni

.

[kimdl93]

I've taken a few steps - like starting to wear some make up and a few items of female attire when we go out, usually a top and slide/sandals with 3" heels. I would love to find the courage to go out entirely enfemme.

[sissystephanie]

Over the years I have done just about everything feminine there is to do, except be with a man. I am a man, so have no desire to do that!! Now that I am a widower and much older, I have slowed down somewhat! I never did have my ears pierced, and have quit wearing earrings entirely. But my toes, and fingers, are always painted. Of course my fingers are a pale pink, but a feminine length and shape. My toes are always a very bright color, usually some shade of red, and I wear open toe sandals most of the time in warm weather!! And although from the neck up I am the man I was born, when I am out in public I am dressed enfemme, skin out, from the neck down!! I really think I have all the courage I need, and don't know what else I could do

[Kate Simmons]

I have all of the necessary courage, I just need a good reason to do something.:)

[Jamie001]

I don't believe that it is necessary for us to fit into the category of full-femme, drab, goth, or androgynous. It is possible to be a feminine male just as some women are more masculine in their appearance by wearing men's clothing and other men's fashion items. Just be yourself and be proud of who you are. I carry a purse, have a femme hair style, and wear women's open-toe sandals with bright red toenails whenever I am not at work. I have toes like a girl, and it is just part of my normal presentation and I don't even think about it.

To one of the posters that wanted to display pretty red toenails - There is no reason that you can't do this. All that you need to do is to get a pedicure, put on a pair of women's sandals, and just go about your business - just like Sissy Stephanie said. It really isn't a big deal and you will find that it is a very liberating experience to look down and see ten pretty red toenails peeking out of your femme sandals. If you do some googling, you will see that many men are wearing toenail polish and that it is common with Mixed Martial Arts fighters.

[Kathryn Philips]

tell my wife, "I am going to be a part-time woman, take it or leave it" without fearing the consequences... and realising a life-long dream.

[PretzelGirl]

Sometimes it is hard to tell between lack of courage or applying good sense. I would like to tell my family that doesn't know, but they all live out of state and I have a personal rule that I will always tell someone face to face. It just seems like a better way to deal with the situation. The same for all my best friends over the years. None are within 1000 miles of me. So what could be considered a good reason by some is an excuse (and lack of courage) to others.

[Sophie86]

Just to be clear, I didn't mean to challenge anyone's level of courage. If you're doing everything that you want to do, that's great. I was just curious about the things you currently consider a work in progress--the ones you're nervous about, but you really want to work up to. I have some things I won't do, and the reasons have nothing to do with courage. I won't tell my parents because they're in their 70s, I don't think it's something they should have to deal with this late in life. And even though he sees me dressed on occasion, I won't spend the day en femme up around my son, because I prefer to relate to him guy to guy. So, please don't think I've reduced every question to a matter of courage. :)

[Mistybtm]

:battingeyelashes:I would love to find the courage to get my ears pierced, go out to clubs fully dressed, go shopping fully dressed, get breast in-plants, go out on a real date instead of all my dates coming to the apt. just to mention a few.:battingeyelashes:

[Kate T]

An interesting question.

Probably it would have to be to go out in a public place wearing something feminine clearly visible e.g. womans shirt, pants or skirt. Possibly getting ears pierced.

I have young children and they are a great excuse for wearing nail polish, especially on toes as the excuse of "we were mucking about with the nail polish" works pretty well in most social environments.

Interesting responses. Has made me think what I want from my cding