Would you be recognized?

[PretzelGirl]

A side comment in another thread got me thinking about self perception. The question is, do you think that if you ran into someone you knew while dressed, would they recognize you? And you can answer this even if you are closeted because it is about perception, so reality doesn't have to come into play. Real world stories are definitely welcome though.

For me, I have always had a perception that I would be recognized easily. I have long hair and because of that, I think I lose a bit of the "camouflage" of covering a head of short hair with long hair. To get the most out of it I can, I tie my hair back in a ponytail in guy mode (although I am tiring of that) and always leaving it down in femme.

Two stories that go with this (shorthand version). I came five feet away from one of my program managers at a JC Penney and I took a quick turn into a rack of clothes. Nothing was said. But at a restaurant, I was with my wife and some good friends and a couple we knew showed up at the door. Decided to sit there and take my medicine, albeit nervously, as having the wife with me is a bit of an instant giveaway. There was no hesitation that I saw on their part in recognizing me.

So I feel I have enough difference to take away instant recognition, but I think I will be made fairly quickly.

How do you feel about yourself?

[AKAMichelle]

I always thought that I would be recognized easily as well. I have tried 2 experiments which show that most people don't recognize me. I have to add that this gives me a great deal of confidence when I go out. Now I know that all it takes is one person to recognize you, but I don't think it will happen anytime soon.

[Eryn]

...do you think that if you ran into someone you knew while dressed, would they recognize you?

The things that would likely give me away are my voice and height. As long as I kept my mouth shut and stayed sitting down I would probably not be recognized. Not worth the risk, though.

[sissystephanie]

Since I no longer wear a wig or makeup when I go out as Stephanie, I know I would be recognised!! But I am at that point in my life where I really don't care!! I have been going out that way for the 6 years since my wife died, and no one has even said anything to me! Unless you count compliments on my outfits!! I do generally stay away from places where my friends are likely to be, but if they turn up than so be it! If my real friends have a problem with Stephanie, than I will have to rethink their status as "friends!!"

[NancyTO]

Fellow members of my local TG Club who have seen me dressed and in drab till me they would never recognize me dressed. Just like Superman, I wear glasses 99.9% of the time male while my female self wears contacts 95% of the time. I usually wear a medium length wig with bangs hiding my male brow.

[VioletJourney]

I don't think so, except maybe family members under certain circumstances. I don't know anyone very well.

[sandra-leigh]

So far I am not aware of anyone who has seen me in both modes who has not recognized me; and yes, the implication is that I have lost count of the number who have recognized me.

There are two possible interpretations:

A) That I have some kind of very distinctive facial features (but that no-one has been able to point out); or

B) That I already look sufficiently non-masculine that people don't expect a big difference and then have had no more trouble recognizing me than they would if a woman got her hair styled or dyed.

The fact that 99.9+% of people call me "sir" suggests that (B) is wrong, but on the other hand my face can be mistaken for my mother...

It is a mystery.

[Nancie64]

I've had several makeovers and last October I had a makeover in Vegas and my sister in law was along and after the makeover she said she would not have recognized me in passing. Should make me feel good and not afaid to go out and meet the public, but still am. I would not like to be called out by anyone. My avatar picture is from last Ocotber and I do feel pretty good about it. Not taking the chance anywhere close to where I live. Going to Madison on Thursday and hope to dress for the ride home and maybe a few stops in between. Will see what my SO has to say about it..

[suchacutie]

This is the advantage we all have who maintain facial hair in male mode, and who take off or drastically change glasses, and drastically change hair, and completely change voice. That's not to mention physical shape and cleavage. And then there si the complete change of deportment and all body language.

Heck, now that I think about it, except for being tall in heels, there's not much left of my male presence when Tina comes to visit! It's been 5.5 years and because of this thread I've just realized how much Tina has changed. Now if she could only giggle!!!

:)

[sandra-leigh]

I've tried the drastic hair changes and drastic glasses changes and the drastic cleavage changes. Voice changes have not been relevant, as I get recognized on sight, from a distance, in bad light, at an angle...

[Suzette Muguet de Mai]

Relative to me I would think everyone would read me as a CD. Relative to a passer bye, maybe maybe not. I think this is where we can over state the issue of attempting to emulate a female. A bit like a person who attempts to cover up a lie or mistake, easily read by most people. I most likely would be so overdoing it, I would certainly stuff up.

[Diane Smith]

The only time I ran into an acquaintance while dressed, she recognized me immediately. And we had a nice conversation as if nothing was out of the ordinary at all! :)

Probably, though, this was because my "male" presentation is now pretty far to the girl side anyway. I don't usually wear a wig when dressed, so they're seeing the same hair, and I think that makes a big difference.

- Diane

[Cherry Lynn]

My sister saw a pic of me en femme and did not know it was me. She asked if the lady was a relative of ours and I told her it was me. She was shocked.

[Lorileah]

My mother didn't recognize me, my best friend that I have golfed with for 25 years didn't I doubt most people would. If I was out alone I don't think I would be recognized but I don't go out alone so the people I am with would be known and my car has vanity plates. There are keys to spotting me but 99% of people have their own agendas and really don't pay attention anyway

[Tanya C]

I've been told that my guy/girl appearances are subtantially different. I guess a major factor is that as a guy I have very short grayish hair, and in en femme I have long dark brown hair.
The long hair helps to disguise part of my face, neck and sholders which seems to go a long way in altering my appearance.

BTW, I know a few other of TGs who know me only as Tanya and I would be willing to bet that they wouldn't recognize me in guy mode either, at least I hope not.

[Nikki A.]

I think I would be recognized by women but not by men. Their radar is better. That said I went to a hallowwen party dressed and there were friends (not too close) that didn't recognize me at first.

[ShelleyMarie55]

I am balding, so I might be recognized because of my fuller face (I think?) My voice has always been higher, so everyone on the phones, always call me "Mam" instead of Sir. I like! :) I had Variety Beauty in Mpls help me pick out a more natural wig that looked the best to them for who I am. Being closeted, I am starting to be bolder & going out more in public. I will make my 2nd makeover appointment for this Friday at Macy's in DT Mpls (Estee Lauder). That's fun!! Then, do some shopping at TJ Maxx and the Dress Barn for a summer dress. When at Dress Barn, they are SO NICE & supportive! I will ask the few clerks I know there if they want to go out for a "girls night out" for makeovers together sometime. Or, another young woman clerk at the Thrift Store that knows who I am, will come up and talk to me as a woman whether dressed en femme or as a guy, to make me feel comfortable.
I would not want family to know right now on who I really am; later.

[Kathi Lake]

Sue, you've been one of the few in the position to see me "both ways" so I'll turn the question right back to you. What do you think? I think I am recognizable, but seeing this ugly mug in the mirror every day has no doubt tainted my objectivity. A member here was at my booth at CES and did say she saw me and that I was easy to spot - not because I looked like Kathi, according to her, but because I was the only guy in the booth that was, in her words, "pretty enough" to make a good-looking woman.

So, I don't know. I don't think I look that different, but just don't know.

Kathi

[Rianna Humble]

A GG friend showed some photos of me to a group of mutual acquaintances after we had been for a photo-shoot and none of them had any idea who I used to be.

That said I tend to be recognised quite a lot thanks to having had a three page spread about my transition in the local paper last year.

[Sophie86]

Close family members would recognize me. First, they would do a double take, thinking that I was one of my sisters. Then they would realize, "No, it's Him! OMG!" :)

There's a strong family resemblance between me and my four sisters, especially between the oldest, me, and the next youngest. They've seen me dressed for Halloween. My older sister swears I look like the younger one, and the younger one swears I look like the oldest, so obviously we all three look alike. (They don't have hips either.) :)

[Noortje]

When I see Noortje in the mirror, I am utterly convinced she looks completely different from the male version. I think this is mostly an emotional perception, though. Rationally I am dimly aware that we look rather a lot alike (let's say my facial features are "distinctive"), but this is drowned out by the emotional view. And a bucket of wishful thinking as well, probably.

Well, I am getting closer and closer to going out in broad daylight, so I guess we'll see.

[Noortje]

Just like Superman, I wear glasses 99.9% of the time male while my female self wears contacts 95% of the time..

Haha! And I always used to think Superman had a bad disguise. I guess the comic was more realistic than I thought.

[Tasha McIntyre]

No I don't think I woould be recognized, and I cite 2 references.

Firstly, about a year ago I was strolling through the mall when I see one of the guys I play weekend sports with approaching. I thought oh no, especially as when we passed we locked eyes for a brief second. Nothing was said and he didn't look back (I checked). Next week at training I went out of my way to chat with him for a while and everything was totally normal. So, I don't think I was recognized.

Second and most important, my wife after checking out my photos very closely determined that she doesn't think I would be recognized. For this reason she doesn't have a problem with me venturing out and about from time to time.

Tash :)

[Joy3]

When my wife discovered some of my photo's a couple of years ago she commented that that they were not what she expected and that she never would have recognized me. That sure built my confidence in going out as Joy!

[kristinacd55]

Good question, but I don't think I'm that comfortable to be dressed that close to home. Plus, my wife wouldn't go out with me dressed as of yet so there's no problem as far as THAT giving me away. I still only go with my group friends out at this point....

[JenniferR771]

Not sure. The girls at the thrift store recognize me in boy mode and girly mode. Except for one time. I was called M'am a few times at the mall. I had trouble recognizing a couple of cd friends when I first met them in boy mode.
Take a look at the before and after pics in the sticky...some of us look really different.

[kimdl93]

My inner paranoid self says, of course people would recognize you. But, I also suspect that a least for first time encounters in a female context - the clothes, hair, make up etc, might provide some camouflage

[TGMarla]

It depends. If I were to answer the door all dressed up, and it was someone I knew, they'd do a double-take and figure it out pretty quickly. In public, were I to walk past someone I knew, I doubt they would guess who I was. It still doesn't mean I'd pass, but I doubt I'd get busted, either.

[MarcyRex]

My real life scenario was shocking and eye opening to me. I was at a Tri-ess mtg held at a hotel conference room. So I am walking to and fro from hotel parking lot through lobby to conference room helping to set up. Yes I was fully enfemme and comfortable (read:confident). At the end of the meeting, I changed into DRAB mode and once again had to be introduced to some of the folk who've I been interacting with. Of course I did the glasses/contacts trick, but removing wig and makeup really changes my profile and my gait changes from swapping out pumps to beatup ragged sneakers. My femme sense of style is sooooo much better than male.

[RenneB]

Are you kiddin??

We've played this game where a bunch of us from church will get together, only this time we brought our baby pictures. No one in the group had ever seen the pics and yet, from over 50 years ago, and they can pick me out. There's just something about a familiar face that people who know you, recognize....

Off for more shopping.....

Renne.....

[Tina B.]

I figure they can't identify you if they don't see you, that's why I'm in the closet!
Tina B.

[Nichola]

I love this thread!
I've never been out but don't think I'd be recognised. Saying that, I think I'd freeze on the spot if I spotted anyone who knows me lol:eek:

[Vivian Best]

My perception is that I would be recognized instantly! However, the reality is that I probably wouldn't because people just wouldn't believe I am a crossdresser. Back to the perception, I'm well over 6' and because of that I'm self-conscious that would be a dead give away.

[Comet]

I've had friends at university fail to recognize me after I just grew my hair for a summer. I think I'd go undetected.

[Jilmac]

I have never come face to face with anybody who might recognize me but I won't discount it ever happening either. With a wig to hide my bald noggin and feminine eyeglass frames it might be difficult for someone to recognize me at first glance, but if given enough time I'm sure I would be recognized by the shape of my face, and if anyone heard me talk my voice would be a dead giveaway.

[Sally24]

Even trans people that know me only as Sally say they wouldn't recognize me when they see a male pic. Only someone who know my family would as I look a lot like my sister.

[Elsa Larson]

This is sort of "reverse passing":
Two members of my local gender support group found themselves separately shopping in drab at the local Salvation Army Store. Before that, they had only seen each other en femme. Each thought she recognized the other but was not convinced enough to approach the other in the store. They confirmed it at the next month's support group meeting.

[Michelle James]

Because of the business I am in, I am well known in ,male mode. Michelle has started to appear at these functions with my wife as my sister. I see a great number of people now who know both Michelle and my male side. I don't think for a minute that anyone has made the connection. I find it to be a huge confidence booster.

[Carla4Guage]

I all but had a head-on collision with my sister-in-law at Macys just before Christmas. I can't say if it was the rush of the shoppers or the fact that she was not looking directly at me, but she didn't recognize me and I didn't give her any extra time to look again. I quickly turned towards a display case and used the mirror above it to make sure she didn't do a double-take. I was lucky, in that I had just gotten off the esculator, she would have had a straight on look at me for quite awhile if she had arrived just a 1/2 a minute earlier. I think that due to my wig (as much as anything, as I am almost bald now) that most people would not put my two personas together.

[Cheryl T]

I used to fear being recognized by someone I knew while I was out.
This past weekend I came out to a very dear friend (female) and showed her multiple pictures of myself. She had difficulty seeing me in those pictures. That was a relief. She knows me well and I'm sure if anyone other than my spouse could recognize me, she could have.
No more worries....

[Samantha W]

I feel that I am about 90% passable. But that last 10% is really important. I think I would be recognized.

[LIKETODRESS2]

My first time out dressed i was out on hallowen I was told by many that i looked good and passable. SO i go to the bar order a drink and see a gilr i know never thought i would see her in this she new it was me as soon as she looked at me. SHe was great we talked the rest of the night she sill had not told her ex bf who a great frined of mine

[AKAMichelle]

My mother didn't recognize me, my best friend that I have golfed with for 25 years didn't I doubt most people would. If I was out alone I don't think I would be recognized but I don't go out alone so the people I am with would be known and my car has vanity plates. There are keys to spotting me but 99% of people have their own agendas and really don't pay attention anyway

I got rid of my vanity plates just for that reason.

[t-girlxsophie]

I think maybe family suss things out,as your nearest and dearest they would im sure know right off that it was you,I once left a pic of me on my mobile fone in work and my friend said "oh I know who that is,she looks familiar" when I said it was me she was shocked,her reaction was the same one I've had a few times of "I would never have recognised you".So I think recognition comes to people who are around you the most

Sophie

[Sally24]

I got rid of my vanity plates just for that reason.
Can't part with mine so I've learned to live with the risk!:o

[Debb]

I'm pretty sure I'd be recognized. I don't wear a wig, and I wear rather distinctively-thick eyeglasses ... and despite having different frames, the look is gonna give me away.

I'll live with it, though.

[PretzelGirl]

Some great stories. I think it appears that if we don't talk and don't give anyone a chance for real long checkouts, that we do get by. Something to think about when going out for your confidence. Leaves room to escape an encounter, if that is what you want to do.


Sue, you've been one of the few in the position to see me "both ways" so I'll turn the question right back to you.

Well Kathi, how about a reminder from my story from when I went out for the first time:

" I go ahead and pay for everything and head out the door. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a guy in one of the cars in one of the front parking spots and instead of turning to look at him, I keep my head up and keep walking towards my car. But then I hear my name and turn around to see that the "guy" was Kathi Lake in drab. This was my first time seeing her this way, so it took a moment."

Now obviously I didn't stare, but I didn't recognize you either. And that was even after you called out my name. I think you create quite a difference.

[eluuzion]

I’ve always been fascinated with human perceptions, specifically all of the endless factors which form them and influence them. I have studied perception and non-verbal behavior for years. I feel pretty confident in my abilities to manipulate my body language as necessary. I also feel I am able to pass well enough to well...”pass”, lol. (But not over an extended period).

Of course success depends heavily upon the circumstances, familiarity of subjects involved and length of “exposure”. I am confident in my abilities to be successful when I am operating outside of my “routine habitat” and in places not likely to initiate any cognitive matches to my personal affiliations. ( like seeing “me” at a tennis match when people know I like tennis, art museums etc.)

So, sure...I feel pretty confident...

but then

So was Bin Laden...and look where that thinking got him...! :heehee:

:love:

[BillieJoEllen]

Years ago I happened to walk past a man that I worked with, we looked at each other and continued on. I dreaded going to work on Monday but when we saw each other it was like it always was. This man was definitely a red neck and would of humiliated me no end if he knew it was me. Only time I actually came close to anyone I knew.

[Kate Jennings]

I always thought I would be...until...I went to a straight bar after a drag show and an old friend bought me a drink and tried to come on to me, only to be told who I was and that made for a funny moment!

[Yolanda_Voils]

Not a chance for anyone who knows me to associate Yolanda with "whats-his-name"

The lady mgr at the Wendy's who I showed my enfemme pics to, kept looking at me, then back at the pics.
She said she could tell it was really me but it was very hard..

Renee Reyes said that no CD can pass 100% of the time, not sure if that's totally correct but I get her meaning.

I've been "made" a few times, and several times I've been whistled at, leered at with drooling, and one time a guy at Wal-Mart hollered "WOW" and did a back-flip :D

[Brenda456]

The thought of being recognized scares the crap out of me. . .

[Detroit Molly]

Whenever I'm out, I feel like Molly is the best camouflage. I'm hiding in plain sight, and I like to flatter myself that no one would recognize me since it's the last thing they'd expect from me. On the other hand, I may very well be delusional and I probably get made all the time. It's not gonna stop me going out dressed, though.

[Megan70]

Not only over the years when out have I stood next to in a store or passed by on a sidewalk my co-workers downtown, but several years ago I wanted to really test the waters and went up and approched a female volunteer usher at our concert hall to ask her a question. I work with her on weekends in my summer job. She was about 70 years old , never batted and eye and responded as she would to any woman in the thearter. I saw her on that Saturday and not a word was said, no need to be... she didn't know WHOM she was really speaking to.
It can be done if you parctice and your looks, deportment and voice are passable... but it takes years.

[notquitegirl]

Yes, of course I would be recognized. It happened to me recently, as a matter of fact.

The fact that I present as a man wearing a skirt and heels as opposed to a woman may have something to do with that.

[Robin Lee]

Hi Sue,
Last month I went to the Del Mar California Good Guys Hot Rod Show and walked right by one of my employees and as he was coming towards me he did the man thing looking me over starting at the feet up to the boobs. LOL. He keep walking and never realized it was me. That was the greatest feeling to just be the woman that I am.

Best Wishes, Robin Lee

[shayleetv]

Back in the early days of my married life before my wife had any knowledge of my fem life I worked for a big national department store. On my first Christmas party with the store they had it at a hotel. They had a dinner, drawings for prizes and dancing. There were these two guys who worked in the boys dept. who came as each others dates. One was in very convincing drag. My trans-dar was working well and spotted him right off the bat. I always contributed that ability to "It takes one to know one." Amazingly even their co workers in the same dept. never caught on and their deception was never revealed. He even danced with some of the male co workers. After the New Year and everything was slowed down I remember talking to him/her at lunch. I was smiling and he asked what I was smiling about. I looked around to make sure no one was paying attention and I told him I thought he was gorgeous at the Christmas party. He first denied it but after I reassured him I wouldn't out him we had a really good laugh. Some people have characteristics in their facial appearance that dominate what they look like that it would be very hard to hide no matter what. Others have such a nondescript face that most people can't give an accurate description of what they look like and can change what they look like a will. Lon Chaney, the silent movie star is one that comes to mind-"A man of a thousand faces!" This young man was just like that.

[Edwina]

Well, the reason I have posted photos from time to time is that I don't think I would be recognised at all.
This feeling was bolstered a couple of years ago as I told in a previous post. I had taken an amplifier to our local family electronics repair shop. I had had dealings with them previously so the lady on the desk recognised me and promised to phone when the amp was fixed. A couple of days later I was in casual fem mode, cotton V-neck tee shirt floral skirt and open toe white slipons, when she phoned. I decided on the spur of the moment to go as I was, only pausing to redo my lips :battingeyelashes:
When I entered the shop she had absolutely no idea who I was until I presented my collection slip. Then she couldn't have been nicer/kinder.

[Claire Cook]

I guess the answer for me is most (some?) of the time the answer is no, but I'm getting to the point where I probably don't care. Two instances. The first was when one of our condo neighbors saw me getting the AM paper in my nightie and wig. After I'd come out to them, he said he thought it was my sister. The second was when a group from work took part in a Relay for Life cancer benefit. They had a "Dude in a Dress" fundraiser contest, so I thought what the heck and did the whole thing dressed. One of my co-workers who lives in our neighborhood didn't recognize me at first, then said "Now we'll have to keep an eye on you." (Other than some GG coworkers whom I go out with, this is the only time co-workers have seen me dressed.)

BTW, I didn't win; maybe I have to work on my dance moves ...

[erickka]

Not a snowball's chance in Hades. I'm a total bald slob in male mode, but enfemme. I'm neat, polite, polished and have nice hair! LOL

[Carroll]

Last month I had to worked an overnight so I decided to dress for the evening. I went to the store about 20 minutes before closing and just walked around the store.. Out of the 15 or so employees there only one the knew who I was immediately. Even my own supervisor, which I have work with for almost 5 years, and has seen me dressed more than once, didn't recognize me until I did a "manly" throat clearing. Now if I had walked in with my wife, I would have been pegged right away by many of my co-workers.

[Annie D]

No, chances are that you would not be recognized. I'll give you an example: I drive a bright red Solara convertible that needed some minor body work and I had it repaired at a local body shop. The lady who I dealt with commented how much she loved my car and would love to have one like it. The business that I did with her and her company was the second time we had been doing business together and when I came in to the shop she recognized me from our first transaction. A week after getting my convertible fixed, I was at my local nail salon getting a pedicure, completely dressed and enjoying the time out being pampered. Suddenly, the same lady entered the salon to get a pedi and sat in the adjacent chair soaking her feet. We chatted and enchanged pleasantries and we both finished about the same time. When we got up after our polish dried, I couldn't stand it any longer and said to her, "Regina, do you know me?" She replied that she did not so I took her to the door and pointed to my red convertible and she exclaimed, "OMG, but you are married and have children."

No, I don't think we would be recognized.

[Daphne Renee]

I think I would probably be recognized. Now I have never had a professional makeover so that could possibly make a difference.

[WendyH]

Having attended a number of church functions as Wendy, I can say that almost no one who knows my male identity recognizes me initially. Most eventually figure it out, especially if I'm there with my wife! A very tiny percentage know me immediately, and another small percentage would never figure it out if they weren't told. If someone ran into me as Wendy outside of my familiar haunts I'm pretty sure they wouldn't know me. Now passing, that's another matter--I certainly have been given "the look" on number of occasions.

[StarrOfDelite]

Not sure I could hold a conversation for long without suspicions arising, but I am very confident that with 99.9% of my acquaintances there would be no recognition of my male self merely passing them on the street or in the mall.
The other half of reality is that no one passing a tall thin 55 y.o. gender woman is paying all that much attention to her, either.

[Julie Denier]

I'm pretty sure that the only way anyone who knows me WOULDN'T recognize me if they saw me dressed would be the total disbelief that I was a crossdresser. They might think it was just some other tall, fat dude in a dress ;)

[Alice Torn]

I might not be read easily, except for my great height, huge hands, and chin and jaw. And VOICE! Other than those things, I think i pass quite well.

[Pythos]

I would think that if I kept my mouth shut, and moved all femmy and junk, I would not be recognized, especially if I pulled my latest looks. Though my voice and movements could be a dead give away. LOL.

[Lizeth]

It also depends on the person doing the recognizing. Some are more perceptive than others. I would say out of all the people who know me in both ways, about half or so had to have it pointed out to them.

[UNDERDRESSER]

Close family members would recognize me. First, they would do a double take, thinking that I was one of my sisters. Then they would realize, "No, it's Him! OMG!" :)

There's a strong family resemblance between me and my four sisters, especially between the oldest, me, and the next youngest. They've seen me dressed for Halloween. My older sister swears I look like the younger one, and the younger one swears I look like the oldest, so obviously we all three look alike. (They don't have hips either.) :)Yup, I think I would fall into this category as well, i hadn't realized there was such a family "look" but since it's been mentioned a few times, i can see it quite easily now.

[Kaz]

When I look at my photos and when I finish my make-up and wig in the mirror, I am convinced that I am someone else. In my male mode I have very little hair and tend to wear a stubbly beard. I don't think I would be recognised at all. Sadly my paranoia about not passing means that I haven't really tested things... but that is a different thing!

I don't think anyone would clock me as who I am... well unless I spoke!

[julia ann]

I guess I had kind of a reverse non recognition, I met a gentlemen one night while dressed and out at a local bar, we talked , had few drinks , a perfect gentlemen. Fast forward one week , same bar, same gentlemen , but I was just one of the guys in the bar. Made my way over toward him and just stated some small talk, we talked for 8 to 10 minutes told him I had to leave, see ya around... never a clue best I could tell.

[AmandaJ]

I've never and don't currently plan to be in a situation where someone might recognize me. I've also never did the 100% total makeover either.

Very soon I will, for the first time, get to see if I "pass". I'm not that worried about it that much as I don't plan to come out to anyone more than I already have. Though, I think I will be surprised with the results. It's going to be a pretty drastic difference as I look and dress like a typical male my age. My scruffy beard is getting shaved, so that will be a major component in the stark change.

I'm interested in posting before and after pictures, but I'm very paranoid and concerned about my privacy.

[Stephanie47]

Chop six inches off my height and sixty pounds of weight and maybe I'd stand a chance of passing. That would bring me down to five foot six and 140 pounds. Of course if I was put next to the former East Germany female weight lifting team, I would pass with no sweat.

[Vanessa Storrs]

The second time I ventured out was to a local bar on Halloween, I stood next to a guy who worked for me occasionally. He was too busy trying to impress a girl than to notice me. The corner coffee stand keeps track of their customers' purchases and gives a free beverage after one buys seven. They did not miss a beat when I drove up en femme, I got credit for the purchase. I have seen a few people I know when I've been out, only one recognized me and that was after I spoke to him.

[juliannacd]

Funny..... just the other day when I was taking the pictures I recently posted, I thought to myself that one of them reminded me of a picture I remember of an aunt of mine. So, perhaps I'd guess that family would make the connection. Other than that, it is really hard to tell. One of these days, I'll have to find someone to trust and show them the pics.....

[Sarah Doepner]

As Kathi said, "you know me, what do you think?" My best experience was Halloween several years ago when I went with my wife to visit her parents, then in their 70's. They didn't recognize the big nurse who was with their daughter, but my wife's brother knew me in a heartbeat. The next year we went out shopping and to visit our adult daughter. It took a moment but she did do a double take. Her girlfriend knows who I am, and it took a little bit for her to figure out who she was looking at.

Personally, I think most of the people who know me well would recognize me regardless of how well I do my hair, makeup and dress. I hope they would be pleasantly surprised, but I can't control that. I believe most people, if they took more than a glance, would recognize that I'm a crossdresser. There are too many clues to use. My wife agrees with this and so I try to be careful when I go out since my crossdressing is not general knowledge at this time.

[Sally810]

Last March while out en femme, I hurt my back and went to see my Chiropractor. She worked me in for an adjustment with no problem. She was very nice about the way I was dressed, denim skirt and green blouse. She pulled my chart without asking who I was. At that point, pain relief was my main concern

[Jeannie]

Oh there is no doubt in my little pea brain that I would be recognized by someone I know from a mile away. I would love to go to SCC or someplace like that but I just know I would run into someone I know and be recoginized. I know that some would say well they would have to explain what they were doing there also which constitutes a faulty thought process to believe that because all one has to say is "I heard that Bill is a crossdresser and I have it from a very trustworthy source". Now that throws the burden of proof on to you. I have seen a similar situation actually happen to someone I know and it wasn't pretty either. So no going out for Jeannie.

[PretzelGirl]

Sorry, been real busy and playing catch-up on here (again).


As Kathi said, "you know me, what do you think?"

I think that you draw quite a bit of contrast myself. But, if you wanted to, you could increase that with his and hers glasses. I know it is more money, but if it is a consideration it could add to the differences.


But at a restaurant, I was with my wife and some good friends and a couple we knew showed up at the door. Decided to sit there and take my medicine, albeit nervously, as having the wife with me is a bit of an instant giveaway. There was no hesitation that I saw on their part in recognizing me.


Well, I got my lesson in how negative our self perception can be. On the story above, I finally talked with that couple. As they were talking about it, they said it took a while before they realized who I was. The looks they were giving that I took to mean they recognized me were looks at my wife who was turning her face away from them hoping they wouldn't see her. Then they got up and my wife went to talk to them and said the cat must be out of the bag and motioned to me. That is when they realized who I was. So she outed me! :lol2: I will give her a friendly hard time for that one for a while. But this couple is cool. They are setting up a booth at the Utah Pride Festival in two weeks for their organization.

But it is probably a good example of how we will think. I think we are quick to assume the negative side of things and it is understandable sometimes. I try and be a "glass is half full" girl, but it got me anyway.

[Debra Russell]

To those I am out to they have to do a long double take to recognize me My wife says I look like a man in a dress -- but she is not totally accepting and only rarely will she admitt I look "nice" or OK. I go out all the time with never a glance. I never talk much but do converse slightly with SA's. I go to local functions -- fairs, breakfast in the park where I have sat close to people I know - that don't know! without a glance. Once while at the local town fair a friend I know well looked at me our eyes met and followed as we passed (letch) but never a word even later. I go to the store next to my business dressed and I don't think anyone suspects. The local fire chief whom I have been friends with for 20 yrs mistook me for my wife as I was getting out of the car at my business - we spoke but if he suspected he never made mention on it! If I am out in public away from home I become very relaxed with my self -- at home I'am still very apprehensive.

I think I pass in passing but up close and personal well now thats questionable

[Kaz]

I think I pass in passing but up close and personal well now thats questionable

For me this is the issue... I think I pass well at a distance. Up close you can see the cracks in the paint!

But I still don't think I would be recognised... unless I was engaged in conversation with someone who knew me... then it would all come out!

[leannejames2011]

I would think that I would be pegged in a "New York" second. When I look in the mirror, I see myself with a wig and make-up on. My SO says the same thing. I did see a co-worker while out on my first outing. She was across the street from where I was. I quickly reconized her. She had never seen my SO and I was driving a borrowed car that she hadn't seen before. When I reconized the co-worker, I quickly turned around and headed the other direction. That incounter was a month ago and so far nothing has came from it at work. Since I don't closely work with this co-worker, when the time came up to have a meeting that would put me into close converstaion with this person, I skillfully avoided the possible ackward converstation.