Some advice needed

[Sweet Sabrina]

I have only been fully dressing for a little while About a year to be exact. I always dressed up off and on growing up but until I came out to my wife I never went the whole way. Now I have heels, boots, dresses and multiple skirts and blouses as well as 4 wigs and two sets of breast forms. I think I may be over compensating for lost time. The wife is fairly supportive but thinks I buy too many things when I don't get a lot of time to dress. Any ideas?

[kimdl93]

she may be right, or at the very least is entitled to her opinion. I don't know how much is too much, unless its causing financial problems. Or maybe she just thinks you should spend more time dressed!

[misskristykitty]

My boyfriend is a CD and he dresses if possibly can once a week usually on Friday's. His closet is full of her clothes LoL!! You could be doing just that just buying things to make up for when you don't get to dress. How often do you get to dress??

[Jennifer Marie P.]

A girl cant have too many clothes.

[VS Fan]

unless its causing financial problems.

I have WAAAYYY too many clothes and stuff for the amount of time I actually get to dress also. My wife doesn't exactly know how much stuff I have, but she doesn't want to either. Like anything else however, I agree with kimdl93 in that as long as it's not a strain on finances it's just like any other "collection" or "hobby." My SO has too many of those little ceramic plate things (IMO), but it doesn't bother me because it doesn't impact the household budget and it makes her happy....

[Dana921]

I know for me that I shopped and bought more when I could not dress do to normal life things going on! As soon as I was in a position to dress whenever I want the desire to be out shopping and buying decreased a lot! I have also noticed that my selection of things I am willing to buy has gone down because my criteria is being able to wear it out and about as well as trying things on in the store as some things look better on the hanger than they do on me! I also started late in life and early on was overcompensating.

Dana

[Kathleen Ann Trees]

Communicating with your wife is the first priority. Don't keep secrets that will potentially hurt your relationship. Negotiations are normal and natural, and comparing her spending on her with your spending on hur is fair.
Staying within your financial limits is the next priority. Okay those qualifiiers said.....

I think we all want what we don't have. Dresses, gowns, florals, stripes, slacks, heels, flats, wedges, purses, jewelry, lingerie, etc., etc., etc. It's why there's so much over consumerism in this country.

Because you have some basics: wigs, forms, shoes, cosmetics, and some clothes, my advise is now is the time to buy smart.

1. NEVER buy without trying something on. It's a complete waste of money.
2. My genes say "I want" but I don't have the "sale gene" where finding bargains for the lowest price is a game to be won. So I have been trying to tap into that shopping ethic. Find sales. Go to discounters or thrift shops or garage sales. Since you aren't wearing a lot out, cheap defective materials can be a great bargain.
3. Think why you want something and how it fits with your wardrobe. e.g. If you have a few skirts but don't have capris yet, it might be time to make that investment. I've found I've really liked some things I haven't considered before (flats, capris, cami's, and believe it or not, florals!)

Good Shopping
Kathleen Ann

[daviolin]

Oh Boy I'm the worse one to ask that question. After I came out to my wife my wardrobe exsploded. I think I'm addicted to shopping. I can never have enough pretty things to wear. I get to dress about 3 to 4 times a week. I only get out once a month. So yes my wardrobe is out of hand. And I love it. P.S. I do shop mainly thrift stores and garage sales. So finacally it isn't a issue. Daviolin

[Bootsiegalore]

CRAP! Buy HER some STUFF TOO! Works for me! A little jewelry goes a LONG way!

[Fab Karen]

Plenty of GG's enjoy buying outfits too. If she says,"I don't," remind her not all women are like her.

[bridgetta]

buy her something too... its a little thing but it could be a great success...

[bridgetta]

oh i just see BOOTSIEGALORE. gave the exact same advice, almost identical in phrasing.. ! must be good advice then!

[linda allen]

I have only been fully dressing for a little while About a year to be exact. I always dressed up off and on growing up but until I came out to my wife I never went the whole way. Now I have heels, boots, dresses and multiple skirts and blouses as well as 4 wigs and two sets of breast forms. I think I may be over compensating for lost time. The wife is fairly supportive but thinks I buy too many things when I don't get a lot of time to dress. Any ideas?

Well how much time do you have to dress? I mean if she knows and is OK with it, why not dress every day after work if you want to and have no other plans?

As for buying too many things, you might be on the edge with the forms and wigs. A genetic woman has only one set of breasts so why do you have two? Same with the wigs although some women may have multiple wigs.

BTW: I think my wife buys too many things, but I haven't found a way to stop her yet.

[t-girlxsophie]

If you are buying all these outfits etc and It is within your means,then I dont think you should sweat it,It would get pretty boring If you only had the same outfit to wear every time.A girly shop with your wife,wether dressed or in drab is so much fun,and you can buy each other something pretty that way too she can get involved.

Sophie

[Raynefall]

As long as it is within your means and you treat your wife to some shopping as well I don't see an issue with it. I mean don't act like her opinion doesn't matter and cut back a little bit. But don't just slow to a crawl either.

[prene]

Nice that you have support from your wife.
But,
I think you waldrobe is light.
You need to try a corset.
I love how it appears to change my walk and form.

[Danni Renee]

I know for me, when I finally came out to my SO I went on a huge shopping spree. I now have a closet full of clothes. But I do not shop nearly as much now. When I first came out, I felt like I needed to shop to make up for lost time. Now that I finally have a complete wardrobe, the urge to shop has lessened. I still love to shop, but I am much more selective than I used to be. I can understand your wifes perspective because I too have too many clothes for the time I get to dress. But it is not about the time I get to dress as much as having a complete wardrobe for when I do.

[Claire Cook]

Well, I have lots of stuff too and decided well, I bought all of these clothes -- I might as well use them! So I am determined to be out and about with my outfits ... well, some are likely to wind up at Good Will ....

[Tina B.]

I have friends that play golf, a lot, others that hunt, or one that restores antique cars. I don't any of that kind of guy stuff. Yes I own a lot more clothes than I need at any one time, but I need variety, like most women, I don't want to wear the same thing every time I dress. When the wife did mention the size of my wardrobe, I offered to cut it down, but I want a 1947 ford roaster as an incentive to do it. She bought me three new skirts instead. I'm just as glad, I really can't see me out there in the garage in heels.
Tina B.

[Jenny Doolittle]

I was talking to my wife the other day and said..wow, I need to get something to wear, it seems I don't have anything to wear. She replied, Well you would but all you ever buy anymore are girls clothes! Which was pretty much the truth, but girls things are so much more fun to buy!

[Sweet Sabrina]

Thank you all for the advice. I really only get to dress in the evenings after the kids go to bed. Some nights it's just too late after I get home from sports with the kids. I manage my daughters baseball team Nd help out with my sons team as well so it gets a little crazy in the spring. Usually I take a day off in the week if I have t been getting any dress time. That does seem to help with the shopping urge. Thanks again. Can't wait to get more advice. Thanks girls

Sabrina