Paranoia sets in

[Michelle James]

As most of you know I am out and about most all the time now. That being said I am very rarely if at all anymore read. Until yesterday!

I was out hitting garage sales wearing my favorite girl jeans, a really cool print tee (a Salvation Army find for $3.99 less 50%. woo hoo!!), the cutest pair of black sandals, and of course my usual wig and makeup. Oh yea, and my toes were OPI Big Apple Red, with a toe ring on my left foot. My fingers were OPI SoHo Nice To Meet You. Nothing unusual for me. After stopping at a number of garage sales and interacting with a lot of people and finding some pretty good bargains. (even did some power negotiating in my best girl speak) I needed to tinkle. As it turned out the nearest place was a McDonald's. Yea I know!! Right!!, but my 57 year old prostate said it didn't matter. I quickly parked and headed for the ladies, which by the way I use 100% of the time without incident. I walked in and both stalls were occupied. I waited patiently for what seemed like forever for one to empty. A young 15-16 year old girl came out and as we passed we exchanged the customary "were in the restroom so were sisters smile" and I went in to take care of business. No incident there in fact business as usual. No pun intended. When I exited the rest room I had to walk past a table containing an entire gaggle of 15-16 year old girls including my new restroom friend. Here's where it gets hinkey. As i walked by the table one girl said something to the others that I couldn't hear and then suddenly all eyes were on me. Without looking back I left the building (I was in fact leaving anyway) and when I got outside I looked through the window and the whole table was busted up laughing.

Since my biggest fear in the whole cross-dressing world is encountering a gaggle of teenage girls I am somewhat spooked. i don't even know why. I'm not even positive that I was the object of there humor or if I was read at all. Today everywhere I went I felt as if all eyes were on me and not in a good way.

HAS THIS EVER HAPPENED TO ANYONE ELSE?

I LIKE TO THINK I DO STEALTH REAL GOOD, BUT???

[Alice Torn]

Wow! That would bug me, too. The first full day i was out dressed, I heard some OMG's, in the area I was walking.

[Persephone]

Like you, I seldom get read and yes, on those occasions when it does occur it make me very uncomfortable too.

It may be especially painful when you're not used to it and routinely expect to pass. And we know that in general that age group is the worst (although I usually pass pretty well in front of them). It is, of course, possible that their laughter wasn't about you or that they were simply, as a group, doing a very catty critique of your outfit, but we always suspect that we've been read and feel like we've just been hit with a bag of wet sand.

Also like you, I don't know how to quickly recover my self-esteem when it happens and it can cast a pall over a good part of the rest of the day. But tomorrow is a new you and you just have to be ready to get back on the horse.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[sissystephanie]

Since I don't wear a wig or makeup when I go out as Stephanie I know I get read a lot. The Difference is that I don't care!! I am either Staphanie or just a guy, but I am still me!! A teen age group of girls is very likely to laugh at almost anything!! I would not be concerned!!

[Sophie86]

Just remember: they're teenagers, so they're stupid by definition. They have tons of attitude paired with a thimble full of knowledge. The only tiny advantage they have is that they (at least most of them) currently look the best they're ever going to look in their lives. It's the one thing they can feel superior about. When you consider the reality of their situation, though, all the crap they're about to have to go through, and the fact that most of them won't get through it unscathed, you should just feel sorry for them.

[Eryn]

Notice that whatever they said was kept between them, except for their poor self-control of giggling. Even if they detected a masculine characteristic, none of them was sure *enough* of your genetic makeup to make a stink about you invading their "inner sanctum." IMO, that means you passed.

[Diane Smith]

I work with teenagers every day (I'm a teacher in a grades 7 - 12 school). Sophie86 got it exactly right. Teenage girls are one of the groups I least worry about because, although they can read you in a microsecond and will giggle and talk about it, maybe even ask some stupid questions, they really mean you no harm and will never act out any aggression. The pointing and giggling is just a way to start internalizing some of the new knowledge about the world they have gained by seeing you, and fit it into their developing belief system. Being friendly and open with them at this stage will pay off in helping form their long term attitudes about gender. Not necessarily so with boys of that age, who may say less, but are much more likely to act out their insecurities physically.

- Diane

[eluuzion]

hiya Michelle,

"Sometimes you are the dog, sometimes you are the hydrant". :heehee:

At least you made a clean safe getaway, eh?

I understand all sides of the "restroom controversy". I think every stance has it's merits. But I have adopted the "always error on the side of safety" strategy in my life. In other words, I typically reduce most of my decisions down to a percentage for success formula in my head. I look at all of my options then calculate each one's chances of making my goal a success with the least amount of risk involved. There is always a "winner" that sticks out. That is the one I choose for action.

The restroom dilemma is a big one for me. Sure, things "should be" this way or that way, but I focus on current reality when making my decisions. I have only gone out a few times, but did face your dilemma. My solution was a "pee cup" in the car resolution. Yes, it was "ugly" but it did allow me to accomplish my goal without much risk...to get home safely.

The restroom challenge has an incredible amount of risk in potential negative consequences and there are many possible circumstances that could set off a nightmare outcome...arrest, violent reactions, etc. So, I just place safety first.

Anyway, not trying to start a debate about TG rights or other battles...just tossing out my strategy for living life with the least amount of turmoil.

Glad you had fun and hope you continue.
:love:

[Chickhe]

Every teenaged girl knows you don't mix nail colors or wear sandals in the rainy season... that's what they were laughing about.

[Vickie_CDTV]

I have been stared at and had people giggle at me and such. Then again, maybe passing for me is a hopeless cause *shrug*

The bigger hazard than being laughed at is the fact she was a minor; talk about a potential minefield. I would have waited outside for a stall to open up, and not made eye contact etc. with her.

[Stephenie S]

All sorts of potential problems can arise here. The worst being, I suppose, what happened in that Maryland MacDonald's recently when the young TG girl was dragged out by her hair and beaten by two other customers.

I would assume that you don't "pass" as well as you think, and that most people are just too polite to call you on it. Those teenagers were too young to have developed that politeness. As others have pointed out already, teenagers are still just kids.

Don't worry too much about it. Also, as others have suggested, you might try interacting more with them. A big smile and a "Hi" goes a long way to diffuse situations like this. The girls DID have the decency to wait until you were out before dissolving into laughter. That's a good thing, don't you think?

Stephie

[Michelle James]

I would assume that you don't "pass" as well as you think, and that most people are just too polite to call you on it. Those teenagers were too young to have developed that politeness. As others have pointed out already, teenagers are still just kids.


Stephie

Since you don't know me and I rarely post photos please enlighten me as to how you could make that assumption? Such a mean spirited thing to say !!!

[Joanne f]

I can remember one of my first attempts at going out and i was some distance from my car in a town trying to avoid people when two girls came around a corner and walk straight by me , then i heard it " that is a man" then my first and only thought was "get in the car as soon as you can " so yes it can spook you a bit .

[msginaadoll]

I guess it is hard to say what they were gigling at Michelle. Teenage girls giggle, teenage boys try to look cool. Theres a good chance it had nothing to do with you at all. And yes you do pass as well as anyone I have seen.

[docrobbysherry]

Michelle, let me ask u a question:

Would u prefer to use the Men's Room at McD's? And, have to deal with the teen girls' boyfriends or truck driving dads? Where dealing with giggles mite be the LEAST of your worries!?

[Michelle James]

Michelle, let me ask u a question:

Would u prefer to use the Men's Room at McD's? And, have to deal with the teen girls' boyfriends or truck driving dads? Where dealing with giggles mite be the LEAST of your worries!?

I wouldn't want to use any men's room when dressed. Might as well put a sign an my back that says "beat me senseless". Of course you are absolutely correct, a few giggle don't hurt but they can rattle your confidence. Normally I am very confident so it is unusual that this shook me up. Since I present as female nearly 100% of the time now, I couldn't imagine using anything but the Ladies.

[abigailf]

I used to always try to avoid areas with teens. Kids can be cruel and there is very little I can do about it, especially if I am dressed. However, I like Sophie's explanation, I think she is right on.


Just remember: they're teenagers, so they're stupid by definition. They have tons of attitude paired with a thimble full of knowledge. The only tiny advantage they have is that they (at least most of them) currently look the best they're ever going to look in their lives. It's the one thing they can feel superior about. When you consider the reality of their situation, though, all the crap they're about to have to go through, and the fact that most of them won't get through it unscathed, you should just feel sorry for them.

Now a days, I go out, I don't care how passable I am. I am who I am and if you don't like it, then it is your problem. I don't avoid anyone and if they want to laugh at me, then I am happy I was able to inject humor into someones otherwise miserable day.

Keep doing what you are doing Michelle and don't let anyone get to you. People are powerless to affect you if you just don't let them get to you.

[Stephanie Miller]

One must remember Michelle... it's not always about you. I'm mean not about you being a crossdresser, that is. There are days I think I pass O.K., then there are days I don't. (those being in the high majority). But I do remember vividly walking through the mall on day. I was looking for a friend that was shpping with me. I passed a bench that had a flock of teen girls and I was Soo focused on them and the knowledge that I was going to be read that I totaly missed the fact that my friend was sitting on the bench behind them. I do remember that one girl in particular watched me, then spoke something to the others - who immediatly all started to stare. As soon as I passed the giggles started. I was mortified. Moments later my friend caught up to me. I expressed my desire to head home. Dejected. She asked what was wrong, so I told her. She then enlighted me that it wasn't that they had read me - in fact they hadn't. It so happened one of the girls blurted out "that lady reminds me of our neighbor who always wears a flower in her pony tail too" to which they all started giggling.
So it turned out to be a normal teenage girl critique session which I'm sure every female unkowingly received by them that afternoon -not a "spot the tranny" gigglefest as I assumed.
Sometimes we're our own worst enimies when were out. Shrug it off and be you.

[5150 Girl]

People here in Redneckville don't often see folks like us. Do I pass, or do I get read? I doesn;t matter to me anymore. I feel if I go about my day as I noramly would, it serves as an opritunity to educate the general public that we are just noraml every day people.
I've heard snikers and giggles as I pass by somtimes. So I round the corner for a little eavesdropping, and find that about 8 times outta 10 the giggles were about somthing else altogether.

[Michelle James]

OK so thanks to some wonderful advice, I'm now over it and back to my old confident self. Today my SO and I went out for a mother's day breakfast. The hostess gave us each a single rose and told us both to have a wonderful Mother's day. From there we did a little shopping and then went to an auction that we usually attend on Sundays. When we walked in one of the other ladies in attendance gave us each a small stuffed toy and wished us a happy mother's day. I know right! Warm fuzzies all around. On the way home we stopped at Avenue to return a couple things, because yesterday they had 40% off the entire store and I may have overindulged in retail therapy. What??? I was waiting in line to do my returns and as luck would have it I was behind a mother and her teenage girl. OMG here we go again. But no, as it turned out the teen started a conversation with me by saying she liked my top and that it was the perfect color for me. At that age they are all fashion experts. I said thank you what else would you suggest. My SO gave me a funny look and before I knew it the teen expert and I were looking at a rack of tops. To be honest I had missed them the first time through and wound up buying 2. Lesson learned: All teen girls are not little bitches. At least when alone. Now maybe a different story in gaggles. LOL