In this corner "I am" and in this corner "I wish"

[SuzanneBender]

Just a thought that wondered into my mind during a one of the periods of pure tedium that span the distance between the moments of excitment in my spot of the world.....


“I am the opposite gender”

“I wish I had been born the opposite gender”

Both are statements you see on this forum as well as read in transgender literature. Is there really that much of a difference between “I am” and “I wish” ? Does this perspective determine the destination of your transgender journey? Is one perspective indicative of a transsexual and the other indicative of a cross dresser or non-op transsexual?

To some it seems to make all of the difference in the world. Maybe because they feel it is a determining factor in our journey. I really don’t see the difference. No matter the answer that silly little pink muse always manages to dance through the recesses of my mind. Besides, I have always had difficulty with decisions. It takes me at least 45 minutes in my closet to decide what I want to wear for the day. I shudder to think how long it would take me to determine if “I am” or if “I wish”. :doh:

[AKAMichelle]

I personally don't even care about the I wish part. I am what I am and having the time of my life. I am both genders combined and while I still don't understand completely the mix, I see nothing preventing me from being both genders.

The only issue I see with people who live in the I wish part is when are they going to take control of their life and do something about it. I would hate to my life consumed by I wish without action.

[Kathi Lake]

Hmmmmm, For me anyway, there is little difference between what I wish and what I am. Life is good. Frank n' Furter put it best,

"Don't dream it - be it!"

:)

Kathi

[Phoebe P.]

To me there is a HUGE difference between the 2 statements. While I would like to be a woman from time to time, I'm fine with my male parts. To me if you believe you are you a woman (or man) nothing could stop you from making the transition.

[Danni Renee]

For me these statements are the center of my journey and I have no idea how to answer. I spent my whole life "wishing". But since I have begun accepting myself, I realize there is more to my feelings then just wanting to be a woman. I look back on my life and I think of all the times I repressed feelings and thoughts because "guys don't do/think that" and I wonder if I was reallly repressing who I "am". As I go forward, these two statements dominate my thoughts as I think I know where I want to go, but I am not sure and I am afraid of doing things I might regret. Some ladies here are so firm in their thoughts, but I am not.

[eluuzion]

hiya Suzanne,

I am one of those people that feel perception and perspective greatly influences self-confidence, self-worth, and the number of your personal desires that you will realize.

I believe you are always "moving" in the direction of the thoughts you choose to keep in your mind. I also believe that paying attention to the choice of words used to build the thoughts that construct your mental images can make a tremendous difference in the actions you take or avoid, and the outcomes. Many times we are unconsciously repeating negative thoughts without realizing the impact it has.

For example...
"I wish I could do so-n-so"...constructs an automatic assumption of impossiblity to some degree. It paints a picture of requiring some outside influence beyond your capabilities or outside of your control to become involved for the wish to come true.

"I would like to be able to"....constructs the same thought in a constructive, attainable context. It is the foundation for taking the next step forward...by stating a feeling or desire which can be expanded by making it a goal. The next thought process is positively supported..."So, how can I get there from here?"...then "ok, what are my options for action?" ..."I could try this...or that....or". You are now pursuing a goal, not a fantasy.

You may fail, but "wishing" almost creates the assumption of failure before trying.

You are only capable of accomplishing what you believe is possible for you to do.
"I am not good at that" is replaced with "I am good at this". Concentrate on what you can do...not what you can't.

It is just a little mental strategy to apply to every thought that can change your attitude, self-esteem and success and happiness.

Ok, all done...you can buy my book online or directly from the number listed at the bottom of this infomercial. Hurry, supplies are limited. HEHEEHEHHEHE:heehee:
Only 12 minutes left...you too, can be the master of your own cough,cough destiny!:D:

:love:

[Kate Simmons]

Here's the way it works: "Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight." It all begins with a dream or an idea. We have the ability to use stellar energy to accomplish our dreams. How much we are actually able to accomplish is totally up to us and only limited by our own imagination.:)

[Frédérique]

“I am the opposite gender” “I wish I had been born the opposite gender”
Both are statements you see on this forum as well as read in transgender literature. Is there really that much of a difference between “I am” and “I wish”? Does this perspective determine the destination of your transgender journey? Is one perspective indicative of a transsexual and the other indicative of a cross dresser or non-op transsexual?

I would say there is a huge difference between “I am” and “I wish,” but while reading your post I thought of something else, inspired by the words opposite gender. If you are a MtF crossdresser, a transgendered person, or a non-op transsexual, aren’t you operating from a position where the genders are close, and not opposite, at least within yourself? It’s an entirely different viewpoint, or situation, meaning one where no gulf exists between the genders, and yet societal norms, or expectations, make you believe it’s either one or the other – they (the genders) aren’t supposed to co-exist, but you have proven otherwise...

Obviously, it’s a question of degree, and most people cannot fail to recognize the genders as opposites. Many of us are straining against this constrictive mindset, since we have incorporated the genders successfully and our visual presentation expresses that fact. In other words, we know something THEY don’t know, and, given the ongoing lack of compassion for alternative sexualities or lifestyles, they never will know it. On our transgender journey we have folded space, reducing this imaginary gulf in the mind to no distance at all, and it all seems so obvious, so simple, and so correct at the same time...

The secret is that the genders are NOT opposite – they are closer than one may think, so, in this sense, there is nothing to wish for. I know I’m the opposite gender, for lack of a better word, but I’m also THIS gender, and we are co-joined, same as it ever was...
:straightface: