What exactly do you want to achieve crossdressing

[kendra_gurl]

First off I'm asking this question to the straight married heterosexual cross dressers here. If you feel you are transgendered while your thoughts are important I'd prefer to keep this thread a little simpler and focused on those of us who just enjoy expressing our femininity occasionally.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about the progression of my crossdressing. I posted about a weekend en femme and how it was filled with new and exciting experiences fo me and my wife. While I still very much love and cherish the times when I can completely transform myself into Kendra, the reality of doing it is setting in. So I went shopping and most people did not notice I was not a GG. I'm sure some did notice but just did not say anything. Question is what exactly about it makes me want to continue to dress up and try to fool everyone?

I have mentioned in other post that I personally enjoy dressing for the mirror. I enjoy reflectiontion I see and while I'm very critical of my look its very easy to see what my mindset at the time wants me to see. I would ask all of you to really take a close look at any photos of yourself and of most of the photos on this site.

There are exceptions of course (no offense to anyone personally) but can't you still see almost all of us are still crossdressed men? Who are we really trying to fool? everyone else or ourselves? I'm happily married but I accept the fact that as Ken I am not a chic magnet. As kendra am I seeking attention? to be noticed? to be flirted with by others? If women were looking at Ken with sexy smiles and flirting gestures as men do Kendra would that at least slow my desire to transform myself into someone else?

Kendra has been to a few clubs on her own as well as with a few other CD's. At the end of the night it still comes down to taking it all off and being Ken again. Even if the fantasy a lot of us have of finding that special goddess who is all about turning us into her personal girlyboy sexual slave for a night came true, could I live with myself after submitting that way? Let alone the cheating on my loving wife.

In another thread the question of accepting wives was ask. Mine accepts my desire as something I need not something she needs me to do. No matter what she says I can't shake the feeling of not being the Man she married. I know I am simply because my dressing started about age 12 but I'm sure most of you who are "out" know what I'm talking about. How accepting do you really think your wife is? If someone gave her a pill that would stop your desire to crossdress completely would she give it to you? ( I know it's not that simple but humor me).

Please try to take an honest look at why you like to totally transform why you'd love to go out in public, what your really expecting to happen and where you really want to take the next step

Kendra

[BeckyAnderson]

Hi Kendra,

Why do most CD'ers have a need to fool anyone? Why not dress simply because it is part of who you are. I'm almost always seen as a guy in a dress but so what? I don't try to disguise my voice or act over-the-top feminine....I'm simply being me.

Just because I am a crossdresser doesn't mean I have to keep myself in prison. When I go out I don't really expect anything from anyone. Again, I'm just being me. Accepted or not, it really doesn't matter. I've found that most people don't really care one way or the other about seeing a guy in a dress. And, we all get our fair share of looks but confidence in who you are and a smile are all that's needed to move around in the world. You'd be surprised at how that confidence spreads to others around you.

Hugs,
Becky

[Kathi Lake]

I do it for fun. I do it for the thrill. I do it to satisfy some of the more exhibitionist tendencies I seem to have. I do it because I love the cut, color, and style of the clothes. I do it because I love all the sensory inputs I get when I do it - the smell of the makeup, the sound of the heels on a hard floor, the touch of a silky blouse or the feel of my attached forms bouncing and tugging with every step, the taste of my lip gloss, the sight of a woman in the mirror.

I do it for me. To not do it would cause me considerable pain and disorientation.

Kathi

[steftoday]

I do it for fun. I do it for the thrill. I do it to satisfy some of the more exhibitionist tendencies I seem to have. I do it because I love the cut, color, and style of the clothes. I do it because I love all the sensory inputs I get when I do it - the smell of the makeup, the sound of the heels on a hard floor, the touch of a silky blouse or the feel of my attached forms bouncing and tugging with every step, the taste of my lip gloss, the sight of a woman in the mirror.

I do it for me. To not do it would cause me considerable pain and disorientation.

Kathi

Kathi nailed it. I've found that this is something I need for my own, um, "balance"; the yin and the yang of myself. I don't go out publicly dressed, but this is a part of me that needs to be "exercised"...

[JohnH]

I like to do it in part to thumb my nose at the stupid conventions inflicted on men as far as apparel and grooming are concerned.

If you are shy to go out publicly dressed, do something manly while dressed. Last Friday I wore a floral maxi-dress and makeup, and leveraged out concrete anchors of rotted out wood fence posts with a 1.8 meter [6 foot] steel rod, shovel, and sledge hammer.

Johanna

[Madilyn A.]

I agree with all the previous comments. I CD because it makes me feel happy. I enjoy all of the aspects of feeling girly. As a man I feel limited in how I can present myself, as a woman I can, change my look to suit my mood. Again, all the things said previously are so true...... What do I expect ? Well at this stage of my life it's too late to "be all I can be", wishing the internet was around about 20 years earlier. The most simplistic answer is I can be me !!........BTW, your avatar is fantastic, we are the same age, but you pull it off so well !!

[AllieSF]

Another, "I agree with all the above" statements. I would say that my goal is to pass completely, thus fool someone or everyone. However, realizing that it is not possible, it does not affect me in any way. I do not attempt to fool anyone. I love being me dressed as a woman and interacting with whomever can be my next victim.

[Jeanna]

I have achieved confidence in myself and accepting who I am. I am Jeanna-John and I cringe at the thought of ever having to give it up.

[Saoirse]

:) Oh God! How many motivations? The challenge of appearing as "female" as possible? (for my own enjoyment) The luxurious feeling of the clothing? The tingling sensation of cool air blowing over my freshly shaven nylon covered thighs? To see how many things in the house I can get nail polish on? A reaction to and rejection of, dull, dreary boy clothes? To have the cats look at me strangely?

Perhaps the late, great Leslie Nielsen summed it up best in a TV (smirk) commercial (for whatever), "Sometimes I just want to feel pretty."

This damn syren call.

:)

[Gypsy Sam]

Kendra,
Thought your posting was stimulating and thought provoking. Enjoyed Kathi Lake's reply and enjoyed the minds eye and imagination description as well. This past weekend I viewed the Ben Affleck,Jennifer Lopez movie that touched on the role reversal of each characters sexuality, perceived or otherwise. Jalo's character is protrayed as a lesbian by choice, with a aggressive Type A personality. Afflecks role rejects the idea he conveys a female side with his"decent guy" persona while trying to woo Jalo. What attracts Jalo is perhaps he's the "woman" she really seeks. What attracts Afflecks character is the physical sensual side of Jalo, with a strong personality to compliment his softer side. Gigili is the name of the movie, a box office dud that did not do well box office or otherwise. For those of us here perhaps more incitefull about hetero males just liking a chance to experience their female side.

[Julie Denier]

Right now, I have no desire to go out dressed. I doubt that I could ever pass. I'm enjoying my private dressing times, enjoying all the sensations of the clothes, the shoes, the makeup and accessories, and finally satisfying a lifelong curiosity of what it would be like to "do it right," dressing in full from head to toe. The results have been better than I expected, and I've greatly appreciated all the wonderful feedback from our sisters here. But I accept the limits that I have, physical or otherwise. I'm just having a lot of fun exploring my feelings and I'm happy with that.

[Julie Denier]

To have the cats look at me strangely?

Ha! I get that, too ... ;)

[Leyna]

What do I hope to achieve? Why do we have to achieve anything? You might as well ask what I hope to achieve by watching a baseball game: nothing at all, except maybe to find a few moments of heaven in this dreary world.

[Carly D.]

There are so many great replies to this thread, I'd quote all of them.. When I was dressing it was to feel something.. The very early stages was to feel something, a feeling sort of like a drug I suppose.. And that very first time I dressed in pantyhose I chased that feeling every time since and added more clothing gradually eventually dressing fully as fem.. But there was a time(before the internet) where I dressed in some fem attire but not completely and it was that feeling that I spoke about.. Just felt so good..

[Miranda09]

For me, I love the challenge of taking my male self and fully transforming into my female self. Can I do it? Well, when I look into the mirror, it appears to have succeeded!! That is the challenge and what makes dressing so much fun for me. I have been out dressed, tho only rarely, and have had a great time. And, as others have mentioned, there's something about the feel of the fabric, the dangling earrings, necklaces, bracelets, and all the other bonus's that come with dressing. In a way, I look at it like an actor looks at a role he/she is trying to portray. They are creating an illusion of someone they are not. Likewise, my goal is to create the illusion of someone I'm not...at least on the outside. Inside, we're both there. :)

[Saoirse]

I've been giving this more thought. Perhaps my first response was a little too flippant. But that's me all over, always trying for the laugh.

Seriously, why have I dressed?

1) The sexual thrill. Not nearly the factor it once was, but still it's part of the experience.
2) I really like my eyes when they're made up.
3) To escape the aches and pains of the everyday world once in awhile.
4) Artistic expression.
5) Again, the challenge of achieving "the image."
6) And finally, I dearly love thumbing my nose at societal norms.

[LACD]

When I dress, as infrequently as my chances are, I just like to relax. I guess I really want to acheive the feminine personna. I know some of you ladies are a whole lot better looking than I ever hope to be, but I still feel really food when I dress. I have never been out other than the back yard when dressed, but that dream is still there. At least I the pleasure of viewing you lovely ladies here and living vicarously through you.:heehee:
I used to do it for the sexual thrill and now it is just the thrill to dress. We are all different but all the same if that makes any sense. We are linked together by the whatever it is that makes us or lets us do what we do. I now want to acheive the feeling of just foing with it.
Love to you all.

[deebra]

First off you are gorgeous, you pass 100% and to be 60 years old you could pass for a very attractive 38. I don't see how you could see yourself as looking like a man in womens clothing. The reason we do it is to fulfill a need we were born with and its more fun and rewarding to be a sexy, pretty woman. As far as your wifes "not totally happy with it", she may not have known it when you married her but this is part of you just as the color of your eyes and it will be a part of you until you die. Keep dressing as much as you can and enjoy the blessing you were blessed with which allows you to be two people where most folks are just one. You are so blessed to look and pass as well as you do.

[darla_g]

I'm kind of with Leyna on this. I don't know I have to achieve anything. I do it because I enjoy doing it. I guess I've tried to rationalize it and find other motivations, but to be honest there is an element of a sexual turn on although I don't think that's all of it either.

[sophiya.rap]

I like to be a girl and be treated as a girl when I go out. I didn't choose to be one gender or the other, so why not be both:). I don't "Try" to be "girly" when I go out, I am a girl just going about my own business without bothering anyone. I want to do everyone any other girl would do. I want to shop, buy stuff and have a small talk with the lady at the register when she is ringing my grocery or clothes.

Fooling anyone is absolutely not an intention. It's funny though, I moved into this new apartment two weeks ago and the landlord who lives downstairs knows both of us. I had told him that my half sister visits every Saturday and she doesn't speak much English. But sure enough he doesn't forgot to say "Hi" with a big smile when I(Sophie) leave the apartment for an outing :). Am I fooling him...I don't think so.

[Tess]

Jeez, I've been doing this for over 50 years and I didn't know I was supposed to have a goal. Its a little late in life for me to set a crossdressing goal and I wouldn't know what it would be except continuing to wear those wonderful cloths as often as I can for as long as I can. Its fun, that's all I need to know. If only I looked as good as Kendra.

[Amy Sue]

I am not sure what I am hoping to achieve when I dress. I am certaintly not trying to fool anyone, sicne I have only been out once during the day. The time I went out at night I didn't really see anyone.

I do love the process of getting dressed, putting on my make up, picking out clothes and finding a look to match how I feel that day. I enjoy the scensory part of it. Feeling the weight of my forms in my bra, the feel of clothes on my body. Can't leave out the taste and smell of my make up. It's a very feminine. Guys hygene products don't come close, most are harsh smelling where as make up, usually smells light and feminine. Lipstick has a taste like only lipstick can. I like when i do my face, looks good and I go and do something around the house, pass a mirror and there I am face full of make up, that I can't tell I am wearing, but looks great.

Amy :)

[Anna B]

I am not sure what I am hoping to achieve when I dress. I am certaintly not trying to fool anyone, sicne I have only been out once during the day. The time I went out at night I didn't really see anyone.

I do love the process of getting dressed, putting on my make up, picking out clothes and finding a look to match how I feel that day. I enjoy the scensory part of it. Feeling the weight of my forms in my bra, the feel of clothes on my body. Can't leave out the taste and smell of my make up. It's a very feminine. Guys hygene products don't come close, most are harsh smelling where as make up, usually smells light and feminine. Lipstick has a taste like only lipstick can. I like when i do my face, looks good and I go and do something around the house, pass a mirror and there I am face full of make up, that I can't tell I am wearing, but looks great.

Amy :)

Ooh, expertly put Amy. I feel exactly like that...

Hugs

Anna x

[RenneB]

If I knew what was inside of me that makes me do this, I'll probably turn it off. For me, it certainly carries a whole lot of risk with the SO, job, friends, church, etc... It's just me. It's been inside me since I was 4 as far back as I can remember.

Off campus in college, I found a slip in a house that I had rented. My roommate had dropped out of college and I had the house to myself for a few months. At night, I wear the slip and just go to sleep in it. Didn't have money for anything else. It just allowed me to relax. After college, I got a great job and eventually my own house. That's when money and time came together for Renne.

For the better part of nine years, I would dress in my comfy clothes and go out at night. Never had human contact as at that time (pre-internet) I thought I was the only one in the world like this. I then purged and set out to find a SO and make some biological replacements. After 6 months, did it. married with children.

Fast forward 15 years, and it's time for the comfy clothes again. Only this time, I have a little more money and a whole lot of time. And guess what, since I found this site, I'm not the only one in the world like this. Thank god.

You girls have made it sooo much easier for me to dress and am starting to get out .... in the daylight no less.

No I will never be a GG, but I sure like playing one. It's kind of like acting for me. A challenge. The better I act, you know, makeup, figure, clothes, the better the actor [ah hem - actress] I will be....

Renne.....

[Billie Jean]

I dress because I love to, simply put I love to go out all dressed up. In my marriage my wife accepted it and never said anything derogatory. Kendra your pics look great, I wish I looked that good. Billie Jean

[NathalieX66]

I do it to live the other half of me.
After a while I don't even consider it crossdressing, I just see it as flipping genders, and I'm fine with that. All I know is I'm not happy in merely one place.

[t-girlxsophie]

I love my Crossdressing and expressing my femme side,I have an understanding and supportive Wife to share my life with,who loves all aspects of this part of our lives,theres no great mystery or end game,I just want to live life to the fullest,without any regrets,happy and content

Sophie

[Lorileah]

cuz I like it, any questions?

[lingerieLiz]

I was thinking about this lately. I wear women's clothes because that is what I identify with. Not sexually, but image wise. When I go to put on clothes it just seems natural to put on clothes associated with women. It would be much easier if I didn’t have this innate feeling for wearing feminine clothes.

[CaitlynRenee]

My college sophomore daughter and I have discussed it frequently. She says I couldn't help it if I wanted to and there really doesn't HAVE to be a reason. She also said that if there were to be a scientific reason, it would most likely be that men have both the 'X' and 'Y' chromosome inside us and that BOTH of our chromosomal genders need to be expressed now and then. We have nipples that aren't of much use either.

So I guess it comes down to this, I dress because I like how it makes me feel (comfortable and at peace). I like how I relate while enfemme. I love everything about being female when I'm enfemme, just as I love everything about being male when I'm in drab.

[LilSissyStevie]

There's a bunch of things around my place that require urgent attention and if I wasn't crossdressing I would feel compelled to tend to them. It makes me tired just thinking about it.:straightface:

[Beth-Lock]

I Enjoy Being a Girl!
Isn't it just about enjoying being a girl in the words of that old song?
It only becomes a question when you have made commitments as a man, implication being to stay a man. Then you have to choose. In my case I never married, and was retired, so my way was clear to go from cross-dressing to transition, though I had to shed a few friends and relatives in the end, anyway.

[sometimes_miss]

Not all of us are trying to fool anyone, or are trying to achieve anything. Some of us just want to feel 'normal', comfortable, not out of place. My best example is this one: Pretend you are at a wedding reception. Now pretend you are wearing a bathing suit, when everyone else is in formal attire. You'd probably feel a little uncomfortable; right? Sure, you're wearing a male bathing suit and you're male, but it still just doesn't feel 'right'. That's how some of us feel when wearing male clothing, even though we're male. We always feel just a little 'something's not quite right', which is gone when we're dressed in well, whatever type of female clothing feels appropriate. There are lots of varied reasons for that. Pick the one that fits you.

[Kayla]

For me it will never be a primary goal in life -Its sort of a escapism and partly a interest in seeing if you are actually capable of passing as the opposite sex. My main goal is to have fun !

[Kate Simmons]

Peace of mind and moving forward mostly. For myself it's about developing who I am, not what I am.:)

[KrystalA]

I don't realy want to 'achieve' anything. I dress because I love to, and because it feels good. I'm not trying to fool anyone, not even myself. I just happen to love wearing women's clothes. But if I must have a goal, I guess it would be to be able to dress feminine 24/7.

[SusanQ]

I do it for one very simple reason, it feels good.

[Danni Renee]

I keep coming back to this thread and everytime I do, I think I have a an idea how I want to respond. Then after I read other posts, I question myself further (which fo rme, any thread that makes me think a lot is a great thread). I guess the I am similar to others that have posted here: I do not want to achieve anything. I just want to be me. Now, if I can just figure out who I am! ;)

[kimdl93]

Lots of food for thought here. I tend towards the "its who I am" category. I don't dress as a hobby, nor for the challenge of "passing", although I enjoy shopping for new clothes and shoes, and aspire to present as well as I can. I probably will never fully "transition", but I'm probably 70/30 in terms of time spent presenting f/m, although I haven't ventured out in public. (If I thought I could look half as good as Kendra, I'd certainly overcome my fears and gone close to full time!)

Forgive me for resorting to a cliche, but I do truly see this as a life journey. I'm not sure where it leads - its more a journey of exploration than a trip to a known destination. My experiences on this journey, the influence of people (including those on this site) have influenced my direction and my self image.

[erica12b]

that is a very good question , and one that has me still tied in knots , its a question the guy in me wants to have a end result working for something , a goal , end result, but the girl in my just wants to express my fem side , i dont know pass , be excepted ,

this has been one of my biggest walls to work thru (guilt just for me) still working on getting thru this one

[TGMarla]

My so-called goals have changed over time. At first, it was just the thrill of forbidden clothing that I found both mentally and sexually stimulating. My greatest goal was to not get caught all dressed up in girl clothes. I developed an affinity for being dressed that way. It felt right, and I was envious that women got to wear stuff like this while for men it was forbidden. I liked how "being" a girl felt to me. It progressed to the point where I seriously considered transitioning. At that point, the crossdressing was so that I could express what I felt was my true gender. However, I never completely bought into that, and I never took it to that extent. Yet, I still continued to crossdress with every opportunity. I married, and that really locked the door against that route. I committed to staying a man. But the genie was out of the bottle, and I know I'll never stop crossdressing. It still feels right for me. For the longest time, I had goals of getting out and about in the world presenting as a woman. I wanted to go places and do things. I did do that a little bit, but I always felt like I was courting disaster in doing so. Now my goals are simply self-fulfilment and contentment. I enjoy the experience that each new dress brings with it. I like the peace of mind that spending a few hours as a woman brings to me. Add in all those physical stimulations that Kathi Lake mentioned, and you get the picture.

I guess I no longer have any real goals as to where this is going. I've made my choices, and I'm content with them. I guess my greatest goal now is to keep it all from damaging my marriage as much as possible.

[Holly]

It is an outward expression of my internal feelings. It is self-discovery. It is a way to align the physical with the mental. Given the cards I've been dealt, it's the best hand I have to play.

[Gillian Gigs]

To continue to do anything there must be an element of fun, or joy, or excitment, or pleasure, or peace, or most of the mentioned. Desires change over the years, and with it the reasons. Yet, in it all if the enjoyment goes then so would the person doing it. I still do it, so it must still be fun, enjoyable, exciting, peaceful, etc...etc...etc...etc......

[Tina B.]

Hard question, but simple answer. I do it for inner peace and balance.
Tina B.

[Debra Russell]

Kendra -- your georgous -- look in the mirror! and how long the erge has been there and why? dont know , don't care any more and every time I'am dressed and look in the mirror this feeling of how right I feel is very strong and all is right with the world!!!..............Debra

[Leslie Langford]

While I enjoy the touch and sensuous feel of women's clothes - not to mention the fact that they are generally far more attractive, colorful and stylish than men's clothes (and OMG!, the variety!) - going out in public wearing them provides me with a whole other level of satisfaction.

When out en femme, my intention is not to "fool" anyone per se, although I do try to look as passable as possible, or at least - to blend in. For me, it is all about experiencing real life as a woman and being treated as such by others (minus the plumbing-related aspects, of course ;)).

As men, we are generally invisible. As women, we routinely get checked out by others (including both men and women) and are often made part of that invisible circle of bonding that women engage in, even with perfect strangers. This includes such kindnesses as being smiled at when crossing paths with another woman, receiving compliments on our clothes, shoes, or make up, routinely being "Ma'am-ed", having seats offered to us on public transportation or doors held open for us, having SA's fuss over us, standing in line at a cash or check-out and being engaged in random conversations by other women - in short, all of the niceties and socialization that GG's routinely engage in because they are fundamentally such relational creatures.

And then, you sometimes get to the next level, such as when you are in a women's washroom and the GG in the neighboring stall asks you if you would be good enough to pass her some toilet paper under the partition because her dispenser is empty, not realizing who is beside her...;)

It all comes down to a feeling of completeness for me, and somehow it just feels "right" - even if society as a whole doesn't quite see it that way...

[skirtsuit]

I would have to say that I really don't know why I love going out dressed so very, very much. I'm totally hetero & have no problem being a guy most of the time, but I love womens clothing and love wearing it. It does not make me feel more fem, relaxed or in touch with my fem side. I think that maybe I'm just obsessed with womens clothing to point where I collect it want to wear it.

Now that I'm comfortable biking around Philly en femme, my next goal is to cause a traffic accident with just my legs....

Best,
SS

On reflection, I'd have to say that I don't want to achieve anything more than where I am now. What could be more wonderful and delighful than biking in a pleasant leafy place on a sunny day in heels, hose and a dress?
I was worried when I first starting going out that it might be a stepping stone to something I wasn't sure about. Now I think it can be an end to itself and doesn't have to lead anywhere, except enjoying oneself immensely!

[kendra_gurl]

My goodness less than 24 hours and 46 responses. Ladies thanks so much for your interest in this thread.

I pretty must agree and understand most everyones response about what drives us to have this desire and enjoyment of doing it. Its different for each of us but is still basically the same for most of us.

Several here say they have never been out in public while others go out regularly. Taking that first step into public is a very large step from the comfort of home. Its a natural progression.

I would like to ask everyone who has responded so far to please elaborate more on what you want to achive past where you already are. Are you at a comfortable place in your acceptance of who and what you are that it satisfies you? Are you always looking to move on and test new limits?

And what about those of you with accepting wives. Would she give you that pill? Would you take it willingly?


I'll be here most all evening dressed to the nines just expressing my feminine side and enjoying every second of it. I hope you are too.:battingeyelashes:

[Kathi Lake]

It's odd; Part of me wants to continue 'pushing the barriers' and part of me just simply wants to keep on doing what I've been doing. I've been out once or twice, flown, driven, shopped, gone anywhere and everywhere, and for me that seems to be enough. However, due to my wife's request, I am under the radar and 'out of her face' as Kathi. I accept this, but I do wish I could share this part of my life with her. She loves the whole of me - I know that - but has a hard time wrapping her head around femininity and me.

What pill are you referring to?

Kathi

[KINGFISHER]

I do it because I have too. Because I also love it so much and feel so good in a way I find impossible to describe. As for what do I want to achieve. Well I didn't know at first but gradually set small goals and as my confidence increased kept moving forward. I suppose I want to look as good as it is possible given the drawbacks of age and to be able to go out and about as any GG would be able to do. I guess I am well on the way. When out, which is frequently now, I get very few odd looks and everyone is so nice. I don't hide my male voice anymore. I know people will see me as a male in female dress but so what. Anyhow I am vane and love seeing myself dressed and love myself to bits and it's such fun. Never felt better nor enjoyed myself so much as these last few months. Daniel

[kendra_gurl]

[QUOTE=kendra_gurl;2487381 . How accepting do you really think your wife is? If someone gave her a pill that would stop your desire to crossdress completely would she give it to you? ( I know it's not that simple but humor me).


Kendra[/QUOTE]

For anyone who missed this part of the orginal post

[JaytoJillian]

I do it for fun. I do it for the thrill. I do it to satisfy some of the more exhibitionist tendencies I seem to have. I do it because I love the cut, color, and style of the clothes. I do it because I love all the sensory inputs I get when I do it - the smell of the makeup, the sound of the heels on a hard floor, the touch of a silky blouse or the feel of my attached forms bouncing and tugging with every step, the taste of my lip gloss, the sight of a woman in the mirror.

I do it for me. To not do it would cause me considerable pain and disorientation.

Kathi

I agree with Kathi, but I'll add that I don't dress to "fool" anyone--albeit it's nice when it happens--I like when people know that I'm a guy, but they have to admit, "that dude looks good in a dress."

[aprilgirl]

I do it for fun. I do it for the thrill. I do it to satisfy some of the more exhibitionist tendencies I seem to have. I do it because I love the cut, color, and style of the clothes. I do it because I love all the sensory inputs I get when I do it - the smell of the makeup, the sound of the heels on a hard floor, the touch of a silky blouse or the feel of my attached forms bouncing and tugging with every step, the taste of my lip gloss, the sight of a woman in the mirror.

I do it for me. To not do it would cause me considerable pain and disorientation.

Kathi

Kendra, thank you for the thought provoking thread. I recently posed this very question to a forum member over dinner with my wife and I. I still don't know the answer but Kathi Lake so eloquently summed up my feelings, hence her quote. While it captured my feelings, I still don't know where this will take my wife and I.

I suppose we will continue to venture out to places where we both feel comfortable and secure. We have Be-All in Chicago next month, which will be our first convention. Perhaps someday I will feel comfortable enough to go to more mainstream places to dinner as opposed to tg-friendly places. I'm still not out to friends and family and have no plans on doing so. Though if more mainstream places are in our future then I may need to reconsider. If I am to come out as a crossdresser, I would prefer to do so on my own terms as opposed to those that are important to me potentially hearing the news from others.

Regarding the "magic pill", well once upon a time I would've taken it in a heartbeat. For the last twenty years or so the answer would be no, as self acceptance finally arrived. Crossdressing is a relatively small, yet significant part of who I am as a person. I know my wife feels the same way and seriously doubt she would ever want me to lose this aspect of me. She does'nt seperate the male and female personnas, it's just me. Kim

[Kathi Lake]

If someone gave her a pill that would stop your desire to crossdress completely would she give it to you?Oh, that pill!! :)

Yes, I'm sure she would - by either hiding it from me in my food or by some other means, she would love to permanently remove what she feels to be my only character defect. What she doesn't realize is that she would be removing the best part of me, in my opinion. Sure, I flounce around in a bra and heels. Sure, I can do my makeup better than she can (yeah - I know what you're thinking, but it is sadly true), and she dislikes this 'part' of me. But I believe that part of me is also responsible for my better qualities - my sensitivity, my nurturing, my patience, my willingness to compromise. Yes, I know; there are men with these qualities, and they probably don't go poofing around in a dress, but I feel that if you remove that part of me, what would be left would be the type of man that is detestable to me, and - though she may not know it - to her as well.

Now if you turned that quote around; If I could take a pill (voluntarily) that would get rid of it, I would have to say no. I would not take it. Yes, my crossdressing has given me and those who love me various trials and tribulations. To say that there have been some negatives would indeed be an understatement. However - and this is a big however - it has also opened up to me an incredible world of being that I never would have experienced. There is no way after knowing what I know and living what I've lived that I would ever want to miss out on these experiences.

Kathi

[Leslie Langford]

...And what about those of you with accepting wives. Would she give you that pill? Would you take it willingly?...

Maybe an equally legitimate question would be "...And what about those of you with non-accepting wives. Would you give her that pill? Would she take it willingly?..." ;)

[kendra_gurl]

Kathi
Either you are my brother by another mother or we are married to the same woman thanks for your honesty


Photo of me right this second as I'm surfin the site

[Tammy V]

You look great hon and I can relate to what you said about dressing for the mirror.

[Saoirse]

You're very pretty Kendra. Love the top, although maybe it's a tad informal for surfin' the net. :)

Back to the question of "The Pill." I think I'd take it as long as it had no other adverse effects.

[kendra_gurl]

Back to the question of "The Pill." I think I'd take it as long as it had no other adverse effects.

Thanks Saoirse.. as much as i enjoy all this I too think I would take the pill if it would only make my desire to dress go away

[TGMarla]

The ol' pill question...with a twist! Yep. I'll bet if there was one, and my wife got her mitts on it, she'd be sorely tempted to slip it to me somehow. But she's very honest....she might not think it was right. But if I were a betting gal.......

Kendra...you're a babe. You could be starring in "Cougar-Town". LOL

[kendra_gurl]

Kendra...you're a babe. You could be starring in "Cougar-Town". LOL

Wonder what network would air a Lesbian version of Cougar-Town? No wait I'm not lesbian I'm a VAGINAterian

[Ellen James]

This is such a good question and some good discussion that I really had to and wanted to stop and think through some things before answering "what do I want to achieve crossdressing."

For me personally, I have come to realize that whatever else draws me to crossdressing it is a means by which I can most easily access my feminine side. I've long been a believer in the concept of ying and yang, of everything containing within itself the two opposites that together interact/combine to create the whole.

This also means that giving my feminine persona the name Ellen makes it easier to distinguish that side of me from the masculine Robert - I understand that both Ellen and Robert are the same person but each reflects a different mixing of those parts with differing emphasis upon individual aspects.

I am much less ambitious for myself and for Ellen than many of the girls here - that reflects in greatest part the recognition that I am bisexual and do not wish to permanently take on the female role nor to permanently abandon the male role (which, face it, still enjoys some advantages in our society today). My ideal "pill" would allow me to become either fully female or fully male as desired - I understand and actually hope that such experience or in lieu of such a pill, crossdressing, would allow Robert to recognize certain "feminine" characteristics or personality traits that would actually make Robert a better more well rounded and happier person - and while Ellen may never realize full womanhood I would like to achieve a closer realization of that within the bounds of my limited capabilities to do so.

At my age and in my circumstances, with a partially accepting wife but without being out to anyone else, there are experiences that however appealing are probably out of reach - I try to dress and appear appropriately for someone my age without attracting noteriety or ridicule. I have not had the need nor the courage to be as bold as many of you in this forum or as many of our sisters outside this forum. I am generally content with such limits - I would love for Ellen to get out in company with members of the forum and our larger community, but I do not have the same drive or determination that enables many of you to venture out into the wider world - and that's fine given that my own ambitions are more internalized and rather selfish, focused upon getting to know both Ellen and Robert better so that each of them as the ocassion arises can face the wide world with better self awareness and understanding and perhaps greater sympathy for the reality that we are all the same even as we are all different.

[Kathi Lake]

Either you are my brother by another mother or we are married to the same womanGirl, there is no way we're related! You are wayyy too hot to be my brother!

:)

Kathi

[shayleetv]

Let me ad my non relevant :2c: to this. I have had some family living with me for a couple of months and they don't know about Shaylee. There has been no time for her and the other day my wife said to that she hoped they would be moving soon to where they are going to school in the mid west. I said I thought she loved having them here. She does but she knows my needs and said that it was hard living with just me as her husband. Your intolerable at times unless Shaylee visits once in a while and she hasn't been around since the kids moved back. She said she personally doesn't miss her but she misses the effect Shaylee has on me. I'm a much nicer after "she" visits. Sometimes I just get confused about where she stands on Shaylee. There are times she asks me if I want to play dress up with her And the there are times she will barricade herself in the study when I transform. You know it's not like I dress a lot; most of the time it's like every other week and sometimes like three days straight, very inconsistent. But I do know this she loves me with all my faults and not because i have them.

[BobbieJoe]

The first requirement for any taboo behavior- can I get away with it? If I could get away with going shopping as a woman I would.

[notquitegirl]

I want to be me: fully and completely me without having to hide any part of me from anyone else.

[Beth-Lock]

What Do I want to Do Next?
In my case I am waiting for permission to take the next step, which is taking hormones.

[sara.s]

I have mentioned in other post that I personally enjoy dressing for the mirror. Kendra

I too like to dress "just" for the mirror (I hate the wigs, heels are painful, keeping makeup overnight is not cool, shaving arms and legs is odd for guys, tucking in hurts, bra is uncomfortable to sleep with and women's sleepwear is not at all comfortable. Panties are cool though :)). I am not TG and cannot think, act or talk like woman, nor am i interested in other men. Being passable, I just want to go visit places with like minded friends and then before sleep take everything off. Nothing more and nothing less.

EDIT: I am single.

[Denise Shelly]

Ok Im going to try to answer this my way.

In the real world I bust my butt off 14 hrs everyday for 12-14 day streaches. When I get home I take a bubble bath and then slip into something soft and comforting. Who am I trying to fool, not a soul.

If my wife was given the magic pill would she give it to me, nope. Denise is a part of who I am. I dont try to pretend im something im not. But who says you cant enjoy life in my own way.

[Fuzzlette]

I guess like a lot of people for me its partly sexual. Its taboo in a general sense. I guess that why I started anyway.
ATM I am just a panty wearer and I've simply found as well as being sexy, they are just plain comfortable.

I guess its also just a case of why not? Men need a revolution like women had.

[NathalieX66]

I was always amazed at the amout of latitude with fashion that women have. I was never happy with the stringent code of dress that a guy has.
I want to be both feminine & masculine, and slip out of either gender whenever I feel like it.
Sometimes I'm a man, sometimes I'm a woman.

[Farrah]

I do it for fun. I do it for the thrill. I do it to satisfy some of the more exhibitionist tendencies I seem to have. I do it because I love the cut, color, and style of the clothes. I do it because I love all the sensory inputs I get when I do it - the smell of the makeup, the sound of the heels on a hard floor, the touch of a silky blouse or the feel of my attached forms bouncing and tugging with every step, the taste of my lip gloss, the sight of a woman in the mirror.

I do it for me. To not do it would cause me considerable pain and disorientation.

Kathi

Perfect answer!! I so totally agree.

[Farrah]

I agree with Kathi, but I'll add that I don't dress to "fool" anyone--albeit it's nice when it happens--I like when people know that I'm a guy, but they have to admit, "that dude looks good in a dress."

Grear quote girl!! How are you? I haven't talked to you in a while.

[Beth-Lock]

bra is uncomfortable to sleep with and women's sleepwear is not at all comfortable.

Maybe you have not shopped around enough to find ones that are comfortable and a nice fit. Some sexy night wear is very uncomfortable, but there are nighties that are both sexy enough and comfortable.

[kendra_gurl]

I'm so happy this thread picked up again after a cpl weeks. Seems we have a lot of different reasons for our dressing and what we want to achieve by doing so.

There are no wrong reasons just different ones for different people.

Thanks again for all the replies

[NicoleScott]

Like a few others, I'm a bit hung up on the word "achieve". I dress for the mirror, and try to be as pretty and glamorous as possible, realizing, of course, that pretty and glamorous are measured by me and is whatever my eyes and brain say it is.
As a pleasure dresser, I usually dress to "achieve" pleasure, again as I define it. I have been out, and in the past I have toned down my look, away from the over-the-top-ness I prefer to "achieve" passability. Not my cup of tea, though, as I prefer glam to pass.
No, I don't think my wife would give me the pill. She knows all about my drressing (how, when, why, etc) and isn't threatened by it. I think she actually is glad that I have a stay-at-home hobby.

[kendra_gurl]

Nicole I think you are achieving exatly what you want. You can get as glam as you want for the mirror or tone it down a little to go out. thats what makes it so much fun. The freedom and ability to express yourself to yourself how ever you like.
Glad you wife approves too that always helps

[betty1253]

I dress because it just feels right. There is also a zen like state where my male self fades into the background. This is the happiness part for me.

[CDPheobe]

All I want to achieve, is inner happiness. I don't understand why I love to dress up as Gigi. All I know is that I have a wife who knows what I do, when, and what I dress in. Beyond that, my life is an open book to her. I leave nothing out of my day to hide. They say, "The truth will set you free'. Well if being open and free to my wife makes me feel happy, then so be it. I don't lie, cheat, or otherwise hook up with other women. I am heterosexual. She is my best friend, and that I will not put in jeopardy for anything in this planet.

[VioletJourney]

I want to present in a way that's traditionally associated with women but as a man. I'll look like a woman, I'll act like a woman, but I'll still be the same man. I decided this because when I dress I don't feel any sort of change, I'm still the same exact person, just in a visual style that I like. I've never been into guy clothes or hair or anything, I've always just done enough to skate by with that. Were I to start presenting like women do, I'd actually have a visual style that I can care about and take pride in.

[StephanieDragg]

I love going out dressed, I love the fashion and love being seen, I will always be a crossdresser and have no other plans for any dramatic physical changes. I am very happy when I am out doing my errands and love meeting people as I go about my business. It is alot more fun to shop for womens things and clothes while dressed that's for sure!, and I feel much more comfortable trying on pumps when I am wearing a skirt! I also feel it is very important that as I am being seen it is in a good way and I represent myself well, my thought is that it will be easier for the next gurl to be seen.

[audreyinalbany]

I think on some level I dress because I really, really like women. The same way I used to dress up as Daniel Boone when I was a kid, Daniel Boone represented something important to me. whether it was adventure or independence,i don't know it was certainly not something I was conscious of at the time. The fact is that, as a group, I like women, I like to associate with women, I like to talk with women. I don't for an instant feel like I am a woman born in a man's body. I really love being a guy. Wouldn't change it for the world. But, given my preference for association it'd probably be women. Feeling the kinship with women, it doesn't seem that much of a stretch to occasionally present as a woman.

[Jeannie]

I want to achieve world peace and the end to torture in 3rd world countries Oh! this isn't a pageant question. LOL. Sorry. What I really want to achieve is to be able to put on mascara and eye liner without messing it up. Seriously I dress because in the pass it was for stress relief and and Jim Beam just wasn't making it. I also love the feeling of the clothing and the fact that I have a secret that none of my friends know about and therefore they cannot put me down or tell me how wrong I am or laugh behind my back. The only one that knows is my wife.

[kavyaruma]

be myself ... i dont want fool anyone ... again it is being myself..

[Tina B.]

That pill is back huh? Let me say my wife has known and supported be for 35 years, as a CD, but would she slip me a pill, I doubt, that she would be that sneaky, but I would bet she would offer it to me, if I was willing to take it. And as for taking it, I would, I am one that would find life so much easier, as either a male or female, but this back and forth, It's complicated. Just that I would need to be assured that I could still find as much contentment in life.
Tina B.

[JustLaura]

I dress to become someone that is NOT the male me. I dress so that, for the few hourse available to me, all the visual, audible and tactile cues suggest that I'm a woman. I'm a work in progress, but that's my goal...

[pantiesplease]

it really does excite me. I enjoy the feel of the clothing and the panties.

[Kendra Sue]

Well said, well put. It is very relaxing

[susmitha]

what do i want to achieve.... it is a good question. i want to enjoy my feminine side. but i want my wife also to crossdress as a man and enjoy complete role reversal once in a while. i am not able to get an opportunity. i can not force her to be the "huband" occasionally.

[Angela2me]

I do not want to look like or be a girl. I like the style, material and comfort of many women's fashions. I would be happy if men could just wear a dress or skirt and top the same as women do and if men could choose colours and materials like womens clothes are in. Like a woman, sometimes I would be comfortable in shorts, sometimes slacks, sometimes a dress, sometimes a skirt, top and cardigan. I would like to wear pink or blue or stripes or floral or what ever looks nice at the time.
I do have a more feminine/maternal nature than most males but I am happy being male and would like to be a male that can wear the same comfortable clothes as a woman.

[Jodi M]

When I am in male mode (99% of the time) I enjoy being a man. When I am in girl mode I enjoy being a girl. If there is any goal it is just to enjoy being who I am.

[Debutante]

I seek to have the deepest, fuillest identificaion with being a woman, but then taking it to the next level:
to be spirtitually connected to the Goddess.... and feel that connection with my wife, other Goddess women, and to
follow a path that is good and right....

[NathalieX66]

Having it both ways as male & female, and sometimes someplace in between.
I find no gratification other than letting loose, going out the front door and being me....there is no taking it to the next level. My femme side is literally the other half of me.

I am quite content being in the public eye, not for attention or exhibitionist purposes, but just to be another lady. If I don't get noticed, and I'm anonymous, then that suits me fine.