Fairly discouraging conversation.

[soloman56]

A couple of things about me. I'm a 25 year old married, closet CD. My wife and I are both from small towns and religious families. I would say that she's fairly naive.

For the last 2 years I've been fairly serious about road cycling. I've lost 50lbs and am in really good shape now and I've been planning on doing some races this summer besides the normally organized distance rides I do. I told my wife that I wanted to start shaving my legs since its what cyclist do. Its just part of being one and besides why should I work to have cut legs if they're just going to be covered in nasty leg hair. I got these quotes plus a bunch more.

"No!" accompanied by "you must be crazy" laughter
"I don't want a husband with shaved legs"
"You are a guy"

Doesn't paint a good picture of what being found out would look like. :sad:

[Anna B]

Hmmm, doesn't bode well. God forbid you would want to wear pantihose to aid the aerodynamics...!

Anna x

[Saoirse]

No. But the sooner is better than later.

Big, big step but you owe it to her.

[Jennifer in CO]

you can still do several things. On your part, do some research on cyclist and "road-rash" and the comments from the med staff and Dr's on cleanup on those shaved vs not shaved (infection, etc). Its gotta be published on some cyclist website some where. She just might change her mind when your "health" might be at risk. OR...she'll tell you to park the bike!

good luck

Jenn

[Eryn]

Hmmm, when was the last time your wife asked you for permission to change something about her aesthetics? What's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.

[Pythos]

^Look above^

Sorry but your wife is being a sexist. Whether she wants to admit it or not.

[soloman56]

you can still do several things. On your part, do some research on cyclist and "road-rash" and the comments from the med staff and Dr's on cleanup on those shaved vs not shaved (infection, etc). Its gotta be published on some cyclist website some where. She just might change her mind when your "health" might be at risk. OR...she'll tell you to park the bike!

good luck

Jenn

That got met with "so don't race if you're so sure you're going to crash".


No. But the sooner is better than later.

Big, big step but you owe it to her.

I'm about 99% sure a few things would happen.

1. Divorce
2. I would get outed to my family
3. I would get outed to everyone else in our area who couldn't go on living without knowing why we got divorced because they're all that nosey
4. I would get outed at work and possibly lose my job or at least make it a workplace I wouldn't want to be in anymore

None of those are things I want to go through at this point. I would have to be prepared to drop everything and probably move.

[RenneB]

Soooo stand too close to a camp fire with your shorts on and walaaa. No leg hairs.. smells bad though. Been there - done that... not on purpose though. I guess, I'm one of the lucky ones as being blonde, the color of my hairs has always been light. No one even knows that I spend an extra 5 minutes every other day of so shaving.... legs, etc...

Renne.....

[Danni Renee]

My SO was a little squeamish when I told her I wanted to shave my legs but she was still supportive. I of course pushed the envelope and shaved everywhere. A month passed and now she absolutely loves the fact I shaved off all my body hair and loves the look. Maybe show her guys in movies with shaved chests and stuff and see how she responds. Maybe she will change her tune. Plus, in the end, it grows back if she really does not like it.

That said, I mentioned to my ex wife numerous times about shaving my legs and got the same response you got from your wife. I never told my ex wife about my dressing but our relationship ended none the less (though for other reasons). I feel for you moving forward having to stay hidden.

[Jess Marie]

I got sunburned really bad over the weekend and today I had to go to work. I put on part of one of her costumes, just the silky half shirt so my cotton shirt wouldn't rub my shoulders too much. She found out and it was world war III. I tried to defend myself saying it was just for the purpose of keeping my sunburns protected, but she didn't care. She bellowed out that it is my fault for getting sunburned and I should have to deal with it. ugh.

[Eryn]

I would have to be prepared to drop everything and probably move.

Hmm, reading between the lines, moving might not be such a bad idea in the long term. Move to somewhere that is more tolerant, where folks aren't so nosy, and where your wife won't be able to hold the threat of "outing" over your head. Might serve get her away from intolerant influences as well.

[RachelOKC]

Making excuses about road rash or finding contrived reasons to shave your legs is not going to work and denies the real issue.

Agree with Saoirse. Tell, sooner rather than later. Seriously. You're 25, you're young, you have a long future ahead. DO NOT - repeat - DO NOT spend it in hiding from your own family. Down that road lies misery, regret, and resentment. If you've knowingly entered into a marriage with this remaining unspoken, then you've already done a huge disservice...don't make it a lifetime's worth.

Yep, bad things could happen if you tell her. Maybe not as bad as you think, maybe worse. But ask yourself this, if she can't accept you for you...then why are you with her and why is she with you? Hard questions, even harder answers. Above all else, just remember that there is nothing wrong with being who you are. You owe it to yourself to be true and you owe it to her.

[Delila]

I tend to find it hard to agree with the attitude of ignore your family. Why not shave and see if she really notices? It is extremely likely that she won't no it does not get to the heart of the issue that you will have to hide what you are to no end from you wife but honestly if you wait a bit for the argument to settle down you may find that she would never notice and if she did she may just not care.

[onceinawhile]

Not that it would have helped, but maybe you should have told her before you married. At least you would've known how she felt about it.