hiding IT

[erica12b]

do you ever get tired of hiding "IT" that your a dresser , that you wish you could have that color nails, that you would never wear a dress like that, all the things you know that as a guy you should not know or care about but because you dress and read and study you know you should not know , so you hide it, ? you know what im talking about ?

im just so tired of knowing i know what i should not know and hiding that i know.

[Steph.TS]

yes, part of me want to say screw it and wear bright red nails, wear what I want to but I'm prevented because I work in the manufacturing industry, the tough guys would either be weird-ed out by me or be upset, plus I don't know how the rest of my co-works would feel about it, that's not even mentioning my friends/family. I'm effectively in a box wishing to get out.

[Ginger88]

Yes. Wish i could go out every Friday night and have a blast

[Pythos]

I want to have my dark eyeshadow to let my blue eyes shine as they should. To have my angled eyebrows so that my face has the expressions possible that are simply not there due to my blond eyebrows. I would love to have black or blue shiny nails opposed to my unpainted nails.

This is all beside wanting to wear my skirts and tights, and fancy shoes, and so on.

[Tracii G]

Slowly people around me are getting it.Some close friends that don't know are asking Q's and seem not to be too freaked out.
One friends wife said can I ask you a Q? I told her sure.She asked I noticed a few things about you and was wondering.
1 Your nails look great always clean and trimmed sometime you wear polish.
2 You wear jeans that I wear and you always wear women's tennis shoes which could go both ways I suppose.Why is that?
I told her I would tell her if she promised not to tell her husband and some other friends because they probably wouldn't take to it too well.
Well she knows all about me and is very supportive.She said Wow I have a new GF that's pretty cool.
She promised to keep it on the down low.

[Anna B]

Of course, I would love to have bright red nails and toes, get my ears pierced and wear large dangly earrings, grow my hair and have it professionally styled, and wear what I want every day, but since my SO doesn't know about this aspect of my life, and I don't think it would go down well if I told her, I can't see it happening...

A x

[eluuzion]

I don't experience the drama that many here seem to wrestle with.
I have created the arena that enables me to do all of the CD related things I desire to do, without experiencing any frustrations or facing any unresolvable obstacles.
If anything like you describe appears, I create a way to work around it and get what I want. I turn many challenges into a game, and have fun playing it. I suppose I should feel lucky for having a twisted mind, eh?
:love:

[SheriM]

Of course, of course. I would love to be young again, to wear a short skirt, low cut top and turn heads as a beautiful young woman. Age and the physical sex I was born with are deterents. Also a non accepting wife, a community that would not understand, etc. I think that I will remain in the closet.
With all of that said, I think I would be most satisfied if I could be a passable crossdresser, a few years younger of course.

[kimdl93]

different people face different obstacles. I'm out to my wife and a few others, but not to everyone. So I hide from some and not others. And I've grown over the years, increasingly willing to let this side of me show in public - among strangers. It seems rather an odd contradiction - to be out to a select few people at a personal level, but increasingly open about my gender orientation to the anonymous public.

[Gerrijerry]

accept who you are and the way you are and the way the world is. You can them enjoy yourself everyday if you want too.

[Christie ann]

yes, with a less-than-accepting spouse and living in a conservative area there by necessity is some hiding going on. However, there is less hiding today than a year ago.

Those baby steps are sure small aren't they?

[erica12b]

some Times i want to join in on a conversation (at work, at home ,with family ) but it would out me if my girly likes or dislikes where known lol and even having a opinion on girly stuff would make some of the guys i work with look at me funny

i get so tired of halfing to watch every thing i do or say , must be like being a spy or something never being able to let your guard down

[Loni]

yes i would love to just be my self. but alas i would have to quit my job if i did this at work. not sure about were i live, only been here a couple years and do not know the people next door that good. the mom i think would be ok, the daughter (over 25) not sure, her husband...no way.
the little town i live in is a bit on the conservative side. so might not be a good thing to go into town in a cute skirt.
school buses stop in front of the house so might not be a very good thought to be in front of the house...little johnie gets home and tells mommy and daddy about the guy in a dress. next would be the sheriff talking to me.

.

[JamieTG]

I think at some point in your life you reach the breaking point and just say "screw it". You'll start coming out and you don't care who knows. For me it was about 10 years ago when I was in my late 40's. If you start out with little things in public or at work it won't be such a shock to people you know. First I grew my nails longer and people got used to that. Then I started wearing clothes that looked unisex. Then 2 years ago I got my ears peirced. Yes I look quite different than 10 years ago but I let it out gradually and nobody has cared at work.

[erica12b]

i get the not careing any more , or who knows , but im not there yet lol im just so tired of always watching my P's and Q's you know ?

[BillieJoEllen]

Of course we know what you mean. I think in this day and age it would be easier to come out than it was way back then. I'm from the old school and most of my actions today are responses to what it would have been like back then.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

With me it's not so much wanting to wear whatever I want, it's more I get tired of having to come up with reasons why I can't do certain things.

I do get tired of having to make excuses for my friends as of to why I can't join them for a game of basketball, fishing, or at a UFC Pay Per View party, because I need "girl time." I do wish I could just tell my friends "sorry guys can't join you this Saturday night, because it's girl time." and it would just be left at that.

Same while at social occasions. I would love to tell people "stop offering me cookies, chips, cake, spare ribs, beer etc., you know I'm trying to fit into this new skirt I bought, JEEZ, STOP OFFERING ME JUNK FOOD!!." Or "I can't buy a new set of golf clubs because instead there's a sale at Nordstrom's this weekend, and I need to find some new heels to go with this outfit I just bought."

With me I am starting to get a little tired of the excuses, but for now the status quo must be maintained.

[suchacutie]

I've never bought into the idea that as a man I "shouldn't know" certain things. At this point I've been married for 38 years, so if a guy starts in about how I know certain things my comeback is, "you mean after all this time you don't know? what's wrong with you?". With a woman it's even easier, "After being married almost 4 decades, every guy should know this stuff!".

Why do we simply want to admit that men should be routinely uninformed (stupid?)?

[erica12b]

lol i should say that when i was married i could say and have a say about some of the things im not now, lol as a single guy its just not proper lol and it makes shopping hard too lol

[erica12b]

is it hiding :your dressing : or that your in to / know girly things ? this has now made me stop and wander i know these things because i dress , there for ?

im smart ? i know things i should not , ?

[erica12b]

Ok what came first the dressing or the knowledge about dressing? This has some deep thinking for me too contemplate