Trouble with dad?

[helencarpenter]

I'm 19 and I've been crossdressing for about a year now. I'm home from school for the summer and yesterday while I my dad was working in the office upstairs, I went downstairs in the basement and got dressed. He was wondering where I was and came downstairs. I pulled the wig off and threw it in a corner and ran in the other room that he didn't walk in. I got undressed, but my male clothes were sitting at the top of the stairs, along with a pair of panties.

I convinced him that I was in the bathroom and those panties was a roommates prank by putting them in my stuff and I was giving the roommate a hard time about it via Skype, hence why they were there.

So I threw the panties away yesterday as he watched. I got them out last night, and he noticed that this morning, and asked me to explain. I explained that I wanted to continue giving the roommate a hard time but I didn't want my dad to think i'm weird so i took them out of the trash. and that i would throw them away for good if he wanted me to. He also said he knew i wasn't in the bathroom in the basement, so i told him I was doing other things (male things) which he completely understood.

He said he was beginning to have suspicions, but do you think it's in the past now? Yesterday was my wakeup call. I'm done dressing.

[Anna B]

Yesterday was my wakeup call. I'm done dressing.

I doubt it, we've all been there....

Anna x

[chelle]

I think you have been caught and maybe you should not run that risk again while he is closs by.

[Detroit Molly]

So, I know you're shook up, but let me give you a little advice. You're nineteen years old, an adult by law, and if I read correctly you're in school and only live at home during the summer. Don't stop dressing. Keep it on the down-low in your parents' house while you're there, be a little more careful in the future, but don't stop. Once you're out of school and out from under your parents' roof, their opinion regarding your sexuality or dressing means nothing. Hell, honestly it means precious little now. What you do in private is none of their affair, especially while you're at school and that goes double once you're out on your own in your own place. Does dressing make you happy? There's little enough happiness to go around in this world without denying yourself a simple pleasure just because you think your old man may know something. I know it's easy for me to say, but trust me. Keep it on the down-low over the summer, then get your pretty on once you get back to school.

[Stephanie47]

If you dad thinks you were masturbating with a pair of panties, you're lucky. I do not think you will escape your desires to dress, if you are really inclined to be a cross dresser. The urge may pass out of fear, lack of privacy, commitments making it unable to dress (e.g., basic training in military service). When you have privacy, and, can act upon the urge, you may find these desires to rekindle.

When I was younger than 18 my father returned to our apartment while I was dressed in my mother's dress and undergarments. Fortunately, we had a security chain on the door and he could not get in. I thought for sure he was going to break the chain, but, he was not able to. He probably thought I was engaging in youthful male activity. Frankly, at the encouragement of my mother, he burst into the bathroom one day to find me caught red handed with err- red meat in hand. They were so puritanical about any sexuality, I knew they would have killed me if I was caught cross dressing. My mother never made any comments about a busted strap on her only black bra.

Just take it easy! If he thinks you're just beating off with a pair of panties and he is not upset, he's probably done it himself. If you're home for the summer from school, just look forward for returning to school for the fall semester. I'm retired and my wife knows I cross dress. She is not supportive. So, I have the reverse even being retired. I have to wait until school starts up again after Labor Day and she goes back to work.

[Christie ann]

Ya, my dad gave me the talk about men who wear bras are sick. Well I am sitting here wearing a bra with the a cute peasant top and a nice skirt and I don't feel ill.

As you have read you probably won't just up and quit dressing, but you probably can just quit dressing for the summer. If you are at home you have to abide by the house rules...and think about staying in school next summer.

[helencarpenter]

I just don't want to lose his respect or for him to be ashamed of me. He knows I like girls (we've talked about specific ones before), but he said he was starting to have some doubts and he just wanted an explanation. I know you all can't make that stuff go away, but it feels good to vent.

[Joanne f]

Yes it makes your heart pound when you get one of these " wake up calls" and then the I`m done with dressing , but as Anna B has said , I doubt it .
You will forget about that soon and the temptation will start to pull at you again the only difference is you have learned to be a bit more careful now as i think you know that your Dad will be looking for other clues now .

[abigailf]

It is most likely not over, the drive will come back, maybe not for years, but it will.

I started dressing in my teens, but it wasn't until my 40's when I truly understood what it is I am and have been trying to tell myself for years. If I only knew then what I know now. I would probably have dressed regularly and decided to come out of the closet back then when there were much less lives that would be impacted. Maybe even transition. Too late for me now, I built a huge footprint around my male life.

I'm not going to tell you what you should do with respect to crossdressing, but I do suggest you think long about it and consider why it is you do it and where you want it to go. It would be a shame if you wait until you are my age to figure out it was more than just a fetish.

[VioletJourney]

I think what you need to do is stop acting so shameful when you're dressing. Running and hiding when you get caught sends your dad the message that it's something to be ashamed of, just stay dressed and if he finds you, just say "Yeah, I'm a crossdresser. Is there a problem?" Instead of letting him make you explain yourself, make him explain why he has a problem with it.

I just don't want to lose his respect or for him to be ashamed of me. He knows I like girls (we've talked about specific ones before), but he said he was starting to have some doubts and he just wanted an explanation. I know you all can't make that stuff go away, but it feels good to vent.
That shouldn't change anything. He's your father, he should be able respect you even if you were gay.

[JainaCarpaccio]

I don't know that I'd be quite as frank about it as violet suggests. My recommendation would instead be to sit down, and have a a discussion about it, father to son, man to man. If he disapproves, then respect his wishes and keep it out of his house. If he's fine with it, then you won't have to hide anymore. Either way it's a load of stress off of you since you know where you'll stand.

[Kelly DeWinter]

I think you dad was giving you an oportunity to be open and honest with him. You indicated no yelling, no grilling, no denmands or threats from your dad. Now you have started on a course of decieving your dad. I would reccomend having a one on one talk with your dad. Put your relationship with him on the right foot. You gave a great oppertunity here, dont pass it up. Your dad will thank you for trusting hime, and you both can grow from this. If you continue hiding from him and lying, you will only damage your relationship and make things harder for you in the future.

[Christina Horton]

What it sounds like is your thinking of purging all your stuff and not dressing ever again..... Well as said above that is just not the best thing to do.
1) Crossdressing is not something most of us would chose to do, but since we are CDs we find that we are a shamed of it and think were perverts or something.
(We are not ,You'd be surprised on how many of us are out there . My guess is 1 on 10 men CD in one way or another. Just think about that. If there is 150 Million men in the states that means there is 15 million CDs out there unless my math if wrong.
2) Moms and Dads just want there kids to be safe and happy.
(When I came out to my mom and dad when I was 22 dad was ok with it but my mom hated it. Thats surprised me cuz I thought my dad (A military man) would freak out. He was more concerned about my safety then my dressing. But my mom did come around in 2009 when I was going to my 20 high school reunion Dressed as Christina and she is fine with it but my dad is now a little uncomfortable with it ...LOL.

You need to remember from what we all have felt at some point in time is we want nothing to do wit CDing and some if not most girls here have thrown all there girly stuff out and regretted an hour , or days , weeks months or years later and just started up again at a later date. Some have even gone overboard with it .
We can't know whats going on in you head but from our experiences we can help you look inside your own heart and find whats right for you.
If you think you need to purge then just put all your stuff in a good water proof box and put it away someplace where your the only one that knows where it is so that when your need to dress comes back (AND IT WILL) you can retrieve them and feel better that you don't have to start from scratch.

Now as for your dad..... If you have a good relationship with him he should understand that this is something you need to do but he may not understand why. If you sit him down and talk to him (maybe have some cards with you reasons to crossdress in your hands) and chat. If he asks questions then your ready for Them.
Respect his wishes , And yours. Good luck!

[Lori B]

I doubt it, we've all been there....

Anna x

yepper.............got that right Anna :p

[Fab Karen]

You didn't think about how easy it would be for him to find you that way. If he's always home then you'll need to pick times/locations where you know he won't catch you, such as middle of the night in your room while he's asleep.

"Your dad will thank you for trusting him"
That's not necessarily true- some parents will disown their children for such things. Any truly loving parent would find disowning them unthinkable, but sadly it does happen in some cases. Also it sounded like the father wanted to see the panties thrown away, which doesn't indicate even tolerance.

[helencarpenter]

Thanks for the input, everyone! We talked tonight and cut up the pair of panties he found and let him watch me throw them away and that seemed to ease any concerns he had and gave me tips on how to handle jacking off in the house...so I think I'm ok now.

But all my stuff is hidden and I don't plan on using it in the house again. But thanks again!

[JainaCarpaccio]

sounds good as long as it resolves the problem.

[Duana]

Thanks for the input, everyone! We talked tonight and cut up the pair of panties he found and let him watch me throw them away!

If that's the way it went down, I'd forget about coming out to your dad. I don't think he'd take it very well. Please be careful.

[Vickie_CDTV]

2) Moms and Dads just want there kids to be safe and happy.


In a perfect world, where everyone was at least rational this would be true, whether or not they agreed with their childrens' decisions. Sadly, all one has to do is look around and you will find plenty of folks who are not in their right mind for whatever reason and do not really care about their children.

I am not saying this is the case with the OP, but it is something to keep in mind when dealing with folks in this situation (as someone who grew up in a home with abuse, and had a father who knew about my transvestism, I know this all too well.)

[docrobbysherry]

How anyone can CLOSET DRESS living at home with their parents and maybe other family members?:eek:

Or, when you're living away from home at school, with roommates?:brolleyes:

Thank goodness I started well after I was living on my own in my own house!:)