Telling my mum

[LauraEwing]

Hi all, does anyone have advise on how I should tell my mum about my cross dressing. Im more into shoes and nail polish than bras, panties and dresses, I still live at home and want to keep my shoes in my cupboard without worrying about her finding them. would appreciate any help. Thank you.

[Stephenie S]

Put your shoes in the cupboard. She may not say anything. If she does question you, man up and tell her of your interests.

Parents want desperately to protect their children from harm. If all you want to do is have some shoes about I'm sure she won't go ballistic on you.

Now if you were to tell her you plan on transitioning, that might be a different story. But having an interest in shoes and nail varnish is pretty darn harmless, don't you think?

Stephie

[LauraEwing]

Thank you for your advice Stephanie, I'll try that and see what happens.

[Michaela42]

Laura, since you are no longer a child I would suggest being honest with your Mum if/when she finds your shoes. Try not to be defensive or combative and just be honest about your interests and life. I know I worried for years about what my Mother would do or say when she found out. She eventually did (and let's be honest, most Mothers already have an idea) and I believe that things went as well as they did due tot he fact that I was honest with her. She is still not completely comfortable with the idea (in my observations anyways) and that is okay. Just be honest and if she takes it the wrong way then just realize that she has her own views and whatnot. Best wishes!

[Jennifer in CO]

well...you don't mention your age so we'll assume your over 18 but still living at home for some reason...college, misc insufficient jobs, life?...
anyway...the nail polish is probably no big deal. So many people (males) are wearing np today that unless your wearing acrylics and pretty pink frost polish you can probably get away with it. Your shoes on the other hand...you don't say what your wearing...3-5 inch spike heels?..Mary Janes?... strappy sandals?...plain loafers?...some of them can be worn as guys (ok...not many but loafers can for sure) but got a girl friend?...make-believe girl friend?...(either) that gives you shoes she wants you to wear or does your nails?...options girl options!

Jenn

[Shelly Preston]

I would suggest you read the link in my signature, this will give you some ideas on how to tell your Mum.

I am sure she will be curious if she finds anything female especially if its out of the way. I expect this may mean she may start asking questions

If it was lying around she may assume it belongs to a girlfriend.

You may also want to write a letter explaining so that you can hand it to her when the time is right

[Kim_Bitzflick]

Start by telling her you have a drug problem and that you owe a LOT of money and you are afraid for your life. Then when you tell her about the shoes & nail polish she will be relieved....just joking.

OK seriously, just tell her if you feel the need. I think it will be OK. My mom knows I paint my toes & she only asked why. I told her that I like to. I have not told her I totally dress, but there's no need to tell her.

[Stephenie S]

I don't agree with Shelly. I think writing a letter is too OTT. It's your mother for goodness sake. You don't write a letter to your mum when you live in the same house. You TALK to her.

She'll be OK. The more shame and guilt you display about this the harder it will be for her to accept. DON'T act all guilty. You are harming no one. You are breaking no laws. You are probably a wonderful son. She knows this already. Relax. Be matter of fact about it all.

"Yeah, mum. I like it. Don't worry, I'm not going out in them. And I'm not gay."

Stephie

[AKAMichelle]

there isn't an easy way to tell your parents. I have told both of mine, but I did more because I am out so much that I might run into them out in public. I didn't want to be totally unaware when they find out.

[VioletJourney]

Don't be ashamed, just tell her. Be proud of who you are.

[LauraEwing]

Thank you all for the great advice.

[kimdl93]

Honestly, Laura, its not about clothes or polish, but rather how you feel about yourself. So that's the question. Do you need to come out with your mum - say "Mum, I like to wear ladies shoes and nail polish" or is there more? It might not be bad to just let your Mum know this much.

Here's a hint - it aint a crime, and she love you!