Noooo...I have outed myself at work !!!

[Jessicajane]

I have had some "Blonde" momments in life but this takes things to a new level....

Yesterday I was having a chat with one of the women at work and the subject got onto Children, I told her about a funny picture of my daughter and opened it up on my ipod touch and passed it over for her to see....

I can only assume that as she took the unit her hand dragged accross the screen, causing the pictures to scroll on , but she looked in puzzlement and then asked "is that you in another life?"...I looked at the picture and to my utter horror it was me ...make up, wig, heels, skirt..the works basically...Gulp!!

I wish I could say that I handled myself with poise and calmness...but I didnt, I went red...snatched the unit back...and stammered something like "no course not"...almost certainly confirming my absolute guilt....

What's next I am not sure...at the time she gave an embarrased laugh as I desperately tried to change the subject whilst making a retreat....luckily for me the lady is mature and I get on with her quite well...I suspect she will not talk about it in the office...but I could be wrong...and I am not sure how long it will be before I can look her in the eye without blushing !!!

I told my so who just shook her head (she"s not a big fan of my other self) ....I am as nervous as can be about work tomorrow, I can only pray it is never mentioned again?!!!

[TxKimberly]

Well Jessica, have you ever been in the Military? One of the skills or lessons that the Army taught early on was that no matter how hard it gets, or how tired you are, you CAN press on and make it through just about anything. So you have been embarrassed and now your maybe a bit frightened and there is really only one thing for you to do - go to work and plow your way through the day. It may be nerve wracking, but I promise that you WILL make it through it. You know how I know this right? Yep, been there and done that . . .
I think that if you look at things objectively, you would probably agree that given the chance, most people will do the "right" thing. Unless she has an axe to grind with you, there's a pretty fair chance that she wont say anything to anyone.
Even if she does, it is not the disaster that your concerned mind is probably frantically working it up to be. The vast majority of men have probably done the Halloween thing at least once, and anyone she tells this story to will consider plausible reasons like that for the photo that she describes but that they themselves have not seen.
You need to relax and you need to NOT panic. Your own fear and panic will be the one thing that can make people give it a second thought.

[Debglam]

If it is brought up again, laugh about it yourself. "I thought that damn Halloween photo was off of there - how embarassing!"

Kim is right - if you are all worked-up about it, others will latch on to that.

Good luck!

[Dian077]

Well....all I can say is, been there done that.... :). But luck would have it, I saw it before them, grabbed it back before they say anything. At least if they did see it, they never said anything. Scared me to death. I no remove them ASAP after they are down loaded.

[PretzelGirl]

Rule #1. If you have photos of you on an iPod or phone, don't hand it to anyone or hook it up to a TV.

[Chickhe]

prepare a good cover story...lets see, last halloween your wife convinced you to dress in drag and she took your photo and you thought it was cool to show a friend, but you forgot it was on your phone. You are embarrased about it and certainly didn't want to show it at work... that's all. ...now take a deep breath and pretend nothing is different when you see this person at work. However, next time you talk about photos with her, be the first one to make a joke that you promise not to show her any more scary halloween photos. She will tell you if it was scary or she doesn't care...

[Sallee]

:)A good answer would have been to agree with her and just say" that must be me in another life" and then laugh. You would certainly put the ball back inher court and leave her guessing. I have used that approach more than once and it definitely leaves them guessing. It takes the air out of the sails real quick

[busker]

Jessica, if she read you that quickly on a small low resolution picture, you need to work on your "passing skills" a bit more. It is a terrible reminder that "if something can go wrong, it will".
go luck at the office.

[GaleWarning]

If she does raise the matter tomorrow, just say, "Yes, I like to crossdress."
Leave it at that.
It's not a crime, you know. 36% of men are said to have tried it, according to another website.
Who knows, she may becaome an ally.

[Persephone]

Take a few slow deep breaths, Jessica! It isn't the end of the world. Everything will be fine so long as you don't make a big deal out of it. Remember, slow deep breaths.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[SometimesDiana]

I have an Android phone and downloaded an app called PhotoVault. It basically creates a passworld-protected folder for all my private photos. I'm sure there is something similar for your Iphone.

[Shari]

So you mixed your pics with those of your children.

You can create separate folders to prevent that from happening again. Another good idea is the delete function. Better yet, don't put your pics on it anymore. After all, who were you going to show them to?

The storm shall pass. You're making it much larger than it is.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

I probably would have ended up handling it the same way. However next time you should immediately respond in a very serious, and disgusted tone. "No that's my grand mother!" then look like you are completely disgusted and not amused for a few seconds then that should make the other person want to change the topic.

[Jenny Doolittle]

I am surprised how many girls have given advice to lie.... To me honesty is the best policy, or don't offer any explanation.

[Stephenie S]

I agree with Persephone.

DON'T make a big deal about it. Oops! You already did. Too bad. But anyone will understand why. My advice. Go back to the woman tomorrow and tell her.

"You know? I was a bit embarrassed when you saw that picture. But yes. It was me in another life."

Or you could tell her it's you in this life and that you still do it. It's not immoral, illegal, or fattening. And 99.9% of the people in this world just don't care.

By FAR the most important thing for you to learn about this is that the bigger deal you make of this, the bigger deal it will be in another person's perception of it. Relax. Admit it.

It ain't that big a deal really.

Stephie

[Dr.Susan]

Why would you have family pictures mixed in with your CD pictures?
They should be in their own gallery, or flicker/photobucket to prevent this sort of thing. I'm sorry it happened but if you want to keep it secret, don't mix them in with your other pictures.

[linda allen]

Rule #1. If you have photos of you on an iPod or phone, don't hand it to anyone or hook it up to a TV.

Rule #2. See rule #1.

[Amy Lynn3]

I agree with Persephone.

DON'T make a big deal about it. Oops! You already did. Too bad. But anyone will understand why. My advice. Go back to the woman tomorrow and tell her.

"You know? I was a bit embarrassed when you saw that picture. But yes. It was me in another life."

Or you could tell her it's you in this life and that you still do it. It's not immoral, illegal, or fattening. And 99.9% of the people in this world just don't care.

By FAR the most important thing for you to learn about this is that the bigger deal you make of this, the bigger deal it will be in another person's perception of it. Relax. Admit it.

It ain't that big a deal really.

Stephie

Be up front about things as Stephie wrote. This happens to me at times....I shop Goodwill and when I go to pay they have males running the register and for the life of me I don't understand why they care, but they all seem to want to know who the bras, panties and dresses are for. I tell them they are for me. Some say...for you? I say yes, is their a problem, if so we should talk to the manager. That stops the questions. As others have said, put the ball back in the court of the one asking the questions.

[SamanthaS]

Thanks for the heads-up. Note to self "don't put pics of yourself on new phone." LMAO :)

[docrobbysherry]

Whoops, Jessica! Maybe it's time to find a NEW job? Lol!

I have this weird rule: I use my phone for conversing and my camera for pics! Never will have your issue if I stick to THAT rule!

[Chun-Li]

Next time you see her, be polite "Hello how are you today?" Be friendly and keep communicating with her. If you allow awkwardness to separate you from socializing with her, she will be likely to tell other coworkers some time down the line....

If she does tell other coworkers, be as humorous about it as you can. If it's obvious it doesn't bother you, then why would it bother anyone else? Also if you are going to lie, again be humorous about it. Laugh and say it was from a Halloween party. If you act nervous they will know you are hiding something and people may stray from you.

I joke around at work sometimes that I am gay or jokingly flirt with other guys (i am not gay) Nobody criticizes me about it. People don't care trust me.

[Sarasometimes]

I find it odd that this is her first post and she hasn't replied at all. Also anyone who keeps those pics on a genreal use memory card is playing with fire. As they say on the show Shark Tank, "I'm out.'"

[Barbra P]

Hi Jessica

I agree with Persephone and Stephanie S, it’s surprising how often the truth is the best policy. You stated that she mature and that you get along well with her, trust in the report that you have built up between the two of you and go talk to her. Admit that the picture is of you and that you would appreciate it if she would keep it between the two of you. Be up front and offer to answer any questions she may have, but be honest with her. Most people will be honest back and most people don’t want to embarrass you, unless as has already been stated they have an axe to grind or they just can’t help themselves because they are the office gossip – I suspect you’d already know if this woman was the office gossip – as would the rest of the office alredy know your secret.

My boss, a GG, guessed about me but was very discrete and I suspect this woman will be too. Several of the women in the neighborhood know and I have not been held up to ridicule. Most people have much more going on in their own lives to be worried about you; most of us have a hard understanding that, we immediately believe that we are so damn important that everyone who comes in contact with us has this all encompassing desire to know everything about us and to spread the news. This is seldom the case, note the number of posting from people who go en femme to the mall shopping, TG’s that basically look like a man-in-a-dress, not even remotely “passing” and nobody pays any attention to them.

I was outside on our driveway thinking it was a private area, there is a 20 foot high hedge between our house and the house next door. Suddenly I hear “Hi” and I realize that the new neighbor who just moved in CAN see through the hedge; not much I could do but say “hi” back. I walked down to the sidewalk where she was setting out the garbage cans. We had a very nice conversation; she never mentioned my en femme dress, although I brought it up. She was more interested in the neighbor across the street who sings very, very loudly, well maybe singing isn’t quite the right terminology. I mentioned that he does sing very loudly and not very well and she might find him one of the stranger neighbors, unless my cross-dressing was a problem. She smiled and said “no problem” and we went back to discussing the neighborhood, or more correctly the neighbors. I haven’t seen her again while I’m dressed but we have talked and she always says hi when I walk my dog and she is out.

[Chrissy.Sexton]

We all should have neighbors like Babs.

Seriously, I suggest you explain that you and your SO enjoy this little "enhancement" to your sex lives and that the photo was a result - which is the truth, yes? It was never meant to be seen by friends or co-workers and that you hope she will keep it to herself - out of respect for your privacy.

Good luck,
Chrissy

[Vanessa Storrs]

What is so horrible about people knowing that we are crossdressers?

[BillieJoEllen]

Years ago I semi-outed myself at work. I had to walk through a warehouse to get from one work area to another. I had to walk through a long narrow aisle of crates to get from one area to another. 99.99% of the time I'd be the only one in there while passing through. I used to practice my 'girl walk' while in there. One night when I got back from my nightly excursion I was asked "What the hell were you doing in there walking like that'? I don't know where my quick answer came from but I replied "The floor was all slippery from the ice on the floor'. "Oh', was the only reply I got. I don't know how my boss ever saw me but needless to say I never used that area for 'practice' again!

[Lorileah]

Gotta love excuses and lies, they make your life so interesting when all you had to say was "yes that is me". and carry on. No Halloween, no my SO made me do it (how lame is that excuse...it makes it better that your wife "makes you do things?), no saying it is your sister. OK I get the idea that everyone thinks they are somehow strange or wrong and in some cases perverted to dress like we do. We can educate to get beyond that. But to throw in coward cheat and liar? Those are harder to lose.

Now all together "Is that a picture of you?" "Why yes it is, I like how it looks and that is why I carry it with me. I am a crossdresser (TG TS Drag) and would be very happy to discuss this with you sometime if you like." There I feel better how about you?

[Chun-Li]

I was reminded of this thread while at work today. There was a fashion mag on the lunchroom table, and I picked it up and started looking through it. (i look at the girly mags on the table all the time) but this time I showed a model in a dress to one of the women in the room.

Me: "what do you think of that?"
Her: "ooo I love it!"
Me: "Think it would look good on me?"
Her: "*Laugh* You would pull it off better than I could!"

I said the above as cheeky as I could, and the room had guys in it too. We all continued to chitchat during the day as per usual even though I gave that little hint I was a crossdresser. Nobody knows for sure but nobody cares either. I like keeping it to myself though, but I am certain if a coworker found me out, nothing would change. My parents are the only reason I keep it a secret.

[TxKimberly]

So? Is anyone else wondering what happened the next day or just me?

[Kathi Lake]

Nnnnnnnnope! It's just you.

:)

[skirtsuit]

I have this weird rule: I use my phone for conversing and my camera for pics!

My, aren't we old fashioned! Next thing is you're going to insist that women shouldn't wear trousers....

I personally find it quite comical that the iphone is, accoring to friends, a terrible phone.
I guess the ipad is a terrible pad also, not very absorbant!

Best, SS

[Tiffany Marie Leggs]

I'm wondering too Kimberly. By the way I love your blog! I've been reading every one to get caught up to the current post. Thanks for sharing.


So? Is anyone else wondering what happened the next day or just me?

[Daphne Renee]

I agree with the others. The cat is out of the bag so to speak. You will drive yourself crazy with the what ifs. Its certainly not illegal . If anything is mentioned just tell her it is you. There is no real reason for explaining. It could possibly make you feel better if you make the first move.

[Barbra P]

Hey! Jessica

You posted on the 17th,it’s now the 20th, how about an update, what’s going on,wht have you decided to do, etc?

[Cynthia Anne]

Jessica it's time to speak up before everyone would rather be fishing then reading about a 'fish' story!

[PHXTC]

If it happened to me I'd definitely say that it was last year's halloween costume!

[Jessicajane]

Firstly I would like to thank everyone for there replies and having taken the time to comment.

The reason I have taken so long to post a reply is that I have been working interstate since Friday morning on a project, and although I have had the opportunity to read people replies "on the offending ipod" it has not been possible for me to take the required time out to update the situation.

....All appears to be fine on the work front, the lady in question has been as friendly as ever in fact maybe even going a little more out of her way ?...nothing has been said, despite a number of occasion when we were both on our own and she could easily have raised the subject but didn't...thankfully!!!

Either she has put it out of her mind or she knows that I found it awkward and is being considerate...so I breath a little easier !!!

A couple of points on some of the replies...
I have not posted my basic profile on line yet but I live in Australia and as such we do not have Halloween here...well we do but here is is more trick or treat...and almost only for the children... I work in a transport related industry that involves commercial relocations...whilst I work in the office with both women and men, it is generally a very male orientated industry....goodness only knows what would happen if the lads in the depot...found out I wore dresses and make up!!!...new job...new state...me thinks !!!!

I live in a relatively rural area, and although the cities like Sydney/Melbourne etc are fairly cosmapolitan...things here are a little less flexible...being gay is considered news worthy in this part of town...and although I do know of a transgendered neighbour (well on the same estate) the attitudes towards the couple (she is still living with her wife) is disappointing to say the least.(more on this for another post).

Busker made a point about my passing skills and I have to say...I thought the same when I was reviewing the events of the day, later that evening...in truth I was pleased with the picture...and somewhat suprised I was so quickly read...but then again I wouldn't be the first gurl to see herself as better than she really is...I love dressing up...but will never make the series Australia's top model !!

Another post mentioned that I had never posted before...I have but approx 1 year ago under Jessica Jayne...when I wanted to come back online...I could not remember the password or email address I set up at the time ...so I had to re set up under a different account....in fact it was my profile picture from back then that caused my troubles!!!...

As for keeping my picture on the ipod...well yes it is a risk as I found out!!!...The picture was in a folder with 1100 other everyday pictures, and the truth is from time to time I just like to look at it ...especially when
I am feeling down or need a pick me up....I love dressing and it makes me smile to think of happier times.

On a final note I would like to make a comment about my courage ...or lack of it....I would love to open up...I hate constantly covering up evidence....shutting the blinds...never properly relaxing in case the neighbour is in the garden or some one calls...the only people who know me, and the truth are ...my wife (who really struggles with the concept , but puts up to a small degree with it for my sake...thank you Joanne) and the girls at the Spa I visit in the city...and they are great .
I tell myself that I cant because of my wife and the children...and there is truth to that...but there is also truth that outside of me being caught ...I doubt I will ever be able to show the real me to the world..