Thoughts on making love enfemme

[betty1253]

This is one of the subjects that seems to come up a lot, I wonder why?:)
It is great when it happens, but you really need to think of your SO's feelings. The danger is that she will start feeling that every time you dress, you are expecting to make make love. This certainly will cause friction.

Personally, I prefer to leave this as an option, not an obligation. The feelings I have being myself are satisfying on their own. Just the feelings I have interacting with her on a female level and as a friend go a long way towards our mutual happiness.

Just my two cents,
Betty

[satin n lace]

we always make love while im dressed in bra panties lingerie stockings and we both say our love is better then it has ever been. She says she has more love for me then she ever had because i tood her my deepest secret. So im loving it.

[prettytoes]

Since my wife found out about my desire to dress we have been closer than we ever were. We have been intimate more often than we used to, and it has ranked about a twelve on a scale from one to ten. I wear panties 24/7, sport bras fairly often, yoga shorts when lounging, have my toenails painted all the time, and sleep in satin PJ's or a silk cami/shorts set. She has asked not to see me in a skirt or dress for now...no problem honoring that request for her. It is like I have fallen in love all over again...down to the butterflies in the stomach feeling. She also seems to enjoy the feel of satin on me as she runs her hands over it. Life is good!

[Misti]

Since my wife found out about my desire to dress we have been closer than we ever were. We have been intimate more often than we used to, and it has ranked about a twelve on a scale from one to ten. I ... have my toenails [and fingernails] painted all the time, and sleep [en femme].... It is like [we] have fallen in love all over again...down to the butterflies in the stomach feeling.... Life is good! :love:
Please forgive the snatching of the quote, PT, I couldn't have said it better myself. :)

And Betty, since love-making is no longer an option for my SO and I (due to her severe heart problems), the love that is growing, that we are sharing over my having found CDing, is "the 'gild' in our golden years!" :daydreaming:

Thanks for the thread and the opportunity to tell everyone about "Love in Bloom Under Warm, Clear Vegas Skys!"

XOXOXO, M. :2c:

[brandi.tgurl]

Just as, I don't always pounce on my SO because she is dressed as a girl, lovemaking doesn't come as a given when I dress up. However, there is higher sensuality in the air when my SO dresses up (as in for special occasions). I would say this is partly because she puts more effort into being a woman but mostly because couples tend to commemorate special occasions with lovemaking. Anyway, I always underdress and wear femme articles to bed... so when we do, I would be dressed (appropriately) en femme. The one thing that is interesting to me, however, is the level of intimacy between us has significantly increased since I've opened up to her. Also, even more interesting is how she has evolved from completely passive, to an active -and even aggressive - participant. I wonder if she feels more confident as a partner when I am dressed than she might with the stereotypical sexual male.

[Marinamaze]

In my 58yr's I have only had the pleasure of making love to someone while being dressed enfemme to one beautiful man. And that one time was a night of passion I have never felt before or since. I had always wondered what it would feel like to be made love to by a man, something i had only thought about doing but hadn't yet. But I finally couldnt stand wondering about it and put in a ad in a gay singles dating site. After weeding them out one by one till I felt comfortable with, I made a date. It turned out to be much more than I had expected. Having a man treat me and make love to me like the woman I so wish I had been born was awesome beyond any words I could ever come up with. Both of us were married and was our first time, for me anyway. I didnt make any other dates with him as much as I wanted to, I was to scared of being caught by my wife. Now I am single and "looking" to find someone to feel like that again with. hopefully someone I can make it into a long term relationship. I am not dead yet, just a little slower. So hopefully it will happen for me again. I can only hope. :-)

[Yvonne York]

Making love with my wonderful supportive wife is a beautiful feeling whether or not I am dressed. I have to say that when we have the time for both (dressing and being intimate) which is holidays and weekends, I tend to be dressed (wearing bra, knickers and nighties to bed). I love the feel of her carressing me when dressed, and she encourages me with her wonderful words and actions. One thing I have noticed is that the more sensitive parts of my body feel even more tingly when I am dressed, and if it is not too much info, particularly my nipples after they have spent time in a lacy bra, and my wife plays with them.

[danielletorresani]

I would absolutely love to try making love en femme. My wife doesn't know about my crossdressing, and if she did she most definitely would not be okay with me continuing to do it, much less let me do it in the bedroom. I live near a city with legalized prostitution, and have sometimes considered taking a short trip there en femme and trying it. Though it's something I really want to try before I die, I also really hate the idea of doing something that drastic behind my wife's back. For now, I am content to just fantasize...

[linda allen]

In my 58yr's I have only had the pleasure of making love to someone while being dressed enfemme to one beautiful man. And that one time was a night of passion I have never felt before or since. I had always wondered what it would feel like to be made love to by a man, something i had only thought about doing but hadn't yet.
I'm not sure, but I suspect we're talking about two different things here. One, wearing feminine clothing and making love to our (female) wife or girlfriend, or two, making love as a woman to a male. The other possibility would be making love, while dressed as a female, to our wife or girlfriend whils she was dressed as, and/or acting as, a male.

Now if you're married or in a committed relationship, making love as a woman to a male would be cheating. To me, that's something that really hurts a relationship even if you don't get caught. That leaves the other two. The second would be my fantasy.

[Kate Simmons]

My thoughts are that it is something entirely personal and private between the particular couple involved.:)

[Marinamaze]

Just to clear up things for Linda Allen. I am a divorced single transgender m/f cross dresser. And what difference does it make if it's a male enfemme making love to a man or a woman? non that I can see. The title does say, Thoughts on making love enfemme. Doesn't say to whom. Sorry just my opinion.

[linda allen]

Just to clear up things for Linda Allen. I am a divorced single transgender m/f cross dresser. And what difference does it make if it's a male enfemme making love to a man or a woman? non that I can see. The title does say, Thoughts on making love enfemme. Doesn't say to whom. Sorry just my opinion.

Men and women have different physical parts so it would have to be different. I don't want to get into the details any more than I did above, but I hope everyone understands.

Perhaps I am not understanding your post.

[Deana ♥ Danni]

I am not sure if you want a GG's 2 cents worth on this, and I hope I am not butting in...... I also do not mean to sound sappy... I love making love to Danni Renee whether she is dressed en femme or not, I just love to be with her. I have not had the pleasure of being with her when she is all dolled up with make up and the works, but I am greatly looking forward to that day ♥ I have to admit that one of my biggest fears is what Marinamaze said (no offense to Marinamaze :) I respect you for you honesty), then I read posts such as Prettytoes', Satin n Lace's, and Yvonne York's and I think no Danni Renee and I will be ok :) I made a post not too long ago about appreciating CDers, but I want to say THANK YOU to ALL those who make posts like these and reply to them, it really helps me as a GG to better understand things and help keep my fears in check. Also thank you to Linda Allen for speaking what I feel in my heart :)

Hugs,
Deana

[Kerigirl2009]

OH I would love to do this HOWEVER my wife has said Absolutely not going to happen. So I do not hold my breath because otherwise I would die. But I can imagine and imagine and hope for a change of heart by her but I will not ever push this subject on her.

[ReineD]

But I finally couldnt stand wondering about it and put in a ad in a gay singles dating site. ... Having a man treat me and make love to me like the woman I so wish I had been born was awesome beyond any words I could ever come up with.

If you placed an ad on a gay dating site, then why do you think that you were treated like a woman? Don't gay men like to be with other gay men, and not to be too graphic, but the sex that gay men have together (there still is no vagina) is no different whether one of them is wearing a dress or not? My point is that I think there is a difference between how you were actually treated and how you may have chosen to believe you were treated.

This isn't a criticism and I'm glad you are single now so that you can pursue this further. But I think you are proving that the wonderful feelings we all derive from sex are rooted in our own minds, no matter who we're with or how they see us.

[betty1253]

I am not sure if you want a GG's 2 cents worth on this, and I hope I am not butting in...... I also do not mean to sound sappy... I love making love to Danni Renee whether she is dressed en femme or not, I just love to be with her. I have not had the pleasure of being with her when she is all dolled up with make up and the works,

Of course I don't mind, Deana.

I posted this because this was an issue in our relationship, and this is how we worked it out. If this helps others manage the balancing act of dressing and keeping a relationship, then it was worth it.

Danni is very lucky to have you. The last line of this quote must have caused a lot of to say "why can't this be me?"

Betty

[Tia808]

Reine, that's an interesting point, and I think it has a lot of merit. I will say, though, that I believe there IS, in many/most cases, a difference between the way gay men date/make love, and the way a guy dates/makes love with a TG. I don't have much firsthand knowledge, since I've only dated guys as a TG, but based on what I've heard over the years from my gay friends, I do believe it's a different experience.

(Interesting deviation from the original post, though it does address the same topic!)

[ReineD]

To address the OP (which I hadn't in my prior post ... sorry), my SO and I are entirely open and flexible to whatever may strike us at the moment. I'll leave it at that. :)

~~~~~

Tia, out of curiosity I've also um, investigated the question in the past.

What makes the difference between man on man, or man on woman sex is the absence or presence of a vagina. That's it. Anything else is just technique depending on individual taste and experience. And believe me it can be just as varied among men as it can be among hetero couples. You can use your imagination to fill in the blanks. If you're dating a guy that you found on a gay site, or any admirer, believe me he'll see you as a man who is wearing a dress. He would not be interested in you if you were a woman.

[BrendaJotx]

I have had hot sex with a man while dressed. Also, had sex with girlfriend while wearing her nightgown.

Totally hot! :)

[SoCalCd]

I have made love to my so once enfemme. She is totally supportive of me dressing up but tries to keep enfemme out of love making since she says that she is worried that it will raise the bar to high and will become a requirement to me.

[Tia808]

Reine, I again agree with most of what you're saying. I would also suspect, as you say, that the men you'd meet on a gay site, and many admirers you might meet elsewhere, see TGs as men in dresses. But I really don't think that's the case for all men who date TGs, and I also believe that -- just as most gay men would not be interested in a TG if she were a woman -- many of these guys would not be interested in being with the TG if she presented as a man. As you correctly point out, everyone is different. And by the way, congrats on what sounds like a wonderful relationship with your SO! :)

[joannemarie barker]

sex enfemme (with a man in my case) is cool but the clothes come off eventually so it's still guy on guy.the only thing that would put me off dating a cd is that when it comes to sex with a guy we can get so into the girl thing we don't really want to acknowledge that we have a penis.and I kind of need to

[Barbara Dugan]

If you're dating a guy that you found on a gay site, or any admirer, believe me he'll see you as a man who is wearing a dress. He would not be interested in you if you were a woman.
Very interesting point Reine... I rarely get hit on by gay men while being Barbara, but when it happens most of the time It's because I may be a kind of fem guy..some gay guys are into that , not because I am wearing something nice and pretty..The admirer dynamic is even more complex,some will see you as you mentioned a guy in a dress, while others will treat you as a woman..some of those guys will make an extra effort to make you feel that way...This behavior as always puzzled me, but that is thought for other thread.

I am sorry for getting out of the subject...Now getting back to the original post. I always wonder if taking the crossdressing to a relationship sex life is something that most crossdressers desire but most don't really pursuit.

[Farrah Rose]

I have not experienced making love to my wife while in femme. We are still in the early forms of accepting and moving past the intial shocks. Im giving her all the time she needs to fully accept and participate in finding my femself with me. Making love enfemme would be cool, but i would leave the option for her and not try to push it on her. Im very content with making love in my male self so if she wanted to make love with me enfemme i wouldnt decline, but if she didnt i would not really care because just being able to express my fem self and still have her by my side, is just enough for me. I would never want to do anything to make my SO feel uncomfortable.

[GG Kathy]

I don't care whether she is en femme or not, but I will admit there is a gentleness there when she is that I absolutely adore.

[DebCD]

I am single and have dated other crossdressers a few times. It is so exciting for me to dress and engage with another crossdresser intimately. It is difficult to find someone not attached. I will not knowingly allow another to cheat. I know how it feels. At my age I am glad to be able to dress as I please at home with a periodical visit from a crossdressed friend.

[cindybabe]

I would absolutely love to, however my wife has said no, I can only hope she changes her mind as that is my fantasy.
However she has allowed cuddles and light kisses

[Billie Jean]

Did it a few times wearing panties and hose. I only ever did it once while fully dress and my ex did my makeup and hair for me. Billie Jean

[laura.lapinski]

I haven't done it yet, but would like to experience it. Either with a woman or a pretty CD.

[elsbethcollins]

i've done it - and i would love to say that it was the best thing ever, but it would be an understatement.
My wife knows I dress, and usually we keep the two things separate - however 1 night, and 1 glass of wine too many, 1 thing turned into another and my wife wanted to see what i looked like in some of her lingerie.
She made me up, and then got dressed up herself.

it was nice :)

however, i would not want to make it a regular thing. Once in a while, yes - however I love sex with my wife one way or another - i don't need dressing to enjoy it

[Julogden]

If you're dating a guy that you found on a gay site, or any admirer, believe me he'll see you as a man who is wearing a dress. He would not be interested in you if you were a woman.

Well, I'd say it depends on the guy. I know from discussing this with chasers back in the days when I used to go out that many tranny chasers also like females, and I've been told by quite a few chasers that they consider t-girls to be women, and they don't consider themselves gay for being attracted to us.

Carol

[CDPheobe]

In reading all the posts here in this particular part, I see some say their SO are cool with it, and some won't. My wife says she does not mind me walking around dressed up, but, I have made love to her with me dressed up and she said she did not feel it. Touching me with a bra on and getting really into it is not her cup of tea. And that's cool with me. I don't push the envelope so to speak. She does not mind me wearing lingerie, nighties, long gowns, pantyhose, etc., as long as I do not wear a wig and bra while making love. I can in fact sleep in whatever I feel. So I can't complain. I have my jewel, and I'm not letting her go for ANYTHING!!

[Shananigans]

I think the OP makes a good point. I love making love to my SO en femme. It's hard to keep my hands off of her when she looks so beautiful. However, you CAN get stuck in the bedroom. This has been our problem for the past....year. It's not really like we are complaining or anything...but, we'd also like to go out on a nice date, see a concert, got to a club...maybe do more than just suck face 24/7. There is DEFINITELY some conditioning to it all...When your SO dresses and you always have sex...your mind starts equating the two. Oh, she is dressed now...this means we are going to have sex. However, I think a lot of our problem is that we are in an LDR so we do spend a lot of time making up for...uhm...things we have missed out on... But, either way, I'd like to take my girl out and show off how pretty she is to others' too. So, we need to move out of the bedroom...get her in a nice dress, take her to dinner and show her a good time because she deserves it.

[Fab Karen]

ASSUMING of course that A) you're in a relationship with a woman, and B) you aren't communicating too well.


"What makes the difference between man on man, or man on woman sex is the absence or presence of a vagina."
With oral sex, no difference. And not all gay men have intercourse.

[kendra_gurl]

Most of the times I dress it does not end with the wife and I having sex. That being said there have been lots of times when it does. And when it does its usually some of the best times we have together because it usually involves some role play. It seems only natural to also become someone else in the bedroom if I am dressed as a woman rather than my male self. I believe it has also helped her shed some of her inhibitions as well. It is so easy for me while enfemme to be more submissive and she has said its a lot easier for her to become aggressive and assertive with me as Kendra rather than as Ken.

[Annaliese2010]

If you could never with a man, a gay or a cd who is a man in womans clothing..and you emotionally self-identify as feminine, and your ts or cd friend does too, the feeling isnt gay but m2f lesbian, which is quite exhilarating.

[Pythos]

What I would love is, I get dressed in my stuff, and my SO, "can't help" but run her hand up and down my body and legs, while I do likewise to her. I would love to be able to switch modes however, and not feel obligated to be the feminine sexy. But one my desires is to make love while done up...and then we two end up wearing not a scrap :P