Lonliness and Crossdressing

[Danni Renee]

With the help of a wonderful lady I met through the forum and our PM exchanges, I have been thinking a lot about my reasons for dressing. I have always assumed that my dressing was just because there is a girl inside me dying to come out and now she finally has the chance. But now I wonder where she came from and why has she come out when she has throughout my life.

As I was in the shower this morning, it sort of clicked in my mind another aspect I had not considered - extreme lonliness. My urge to dress while here in Korea has grown exponentially, both due to opportunity and I think because I am extremely lonely here. In other times in my life, with my ex wife, I dressed more and had stronger urges when she was not being attentative too me (not just sexually, but emotionally and just physical contact). I first started dressing around 13 when my friends began drifting away and I was alone a lot.

I was the kid with an imaginary friend in elementary school and I still have a vivid imagination. So I wonder now whether "Danni" is the real me or is it a part of me I created to help deal with the lonliness.

Has anyone else tried to make a connection between lonliness and desire to dress or to be a girl?

[VioletJourney]

Hmm... well I am also very lonely, especially recently, and I've had an increasing desire to dress. Maybe there's something to this.

[Danni Renee]

I have put this out there and now I feel so bad. I feel like I have dismissed my femine side as being an expression of an imaginary friend and I do not think that is right either. I am really conflicted on the inside right now.

[VioletJourney]

Well, it could just be a way to distract yourself from how lonely you are, rather than being a sort of imaginary friend.

[NathalieX66]

Hi Danni, I see you are in South Korea. I have traveled to Taiwan. Hong Kong, and Shenzhen/Guonjou, China for weeks at a time...it gets lonely. It's kind of like the Bill Murray movie Lost in Translation , at least it is for me anyway. Except, in my case, the more I'm around women, the more I want to be like them. Though I've never taken my femme clothes overseas.

All I can say is when you are by yourself, you are apt to let loose since there are no constraints.
I'm at the point these days where I want everyone to know I have this side of me that goes out publicly. I am selective to who I out this to. My co-workers (here in the US and overseas) know nothing, but my circle of friends & family do know.

[Cynthia Anne]

I have to agree with you! When I was alone thoughout life, dressing was my source to fill the void! Now that I excepted who I am, dressing is my life! I'm not so lonely now because I'm no longer afraid of the public! The best to you!

[Princess29]

While loneliness didnt create my desire to dress, it certainly amplified the feelings. I feel that in the past, if I'd had other social outlets, I wouldnt have persued it so much. On trips overseas, I wanted to go by myself so that I could be able to shop for girl stuff openly if I wanted without having to look over my shoulder. This has backfired on me though when I found things that I wanted to buy, I couldnt find them in my size so I missed out on company and also buying stuff that I thought I wanted.

[AllieSF]

I think and agree with a lot of people on this site that why we CD may not be known, but it probably has been with us since we were young in some shape or form. I am a very late starter (4 years ago) from zero knowledge and interest. I started after having my prostate removed due to cancer. I have only truly dated once since then and I will admit that dressing has also been a substitute for not having a partner. Now that I have discovered and embraced this side of me, I know that it will never go away and I will never want it to go away if I ever get a partner for the long term. It may take a back seat to my male side and partner lifestyle for now since I really have no idea how much I will be able to trim back my freedom to dress that I have now. So, taking this a step further. If I was an avid outdoorsman and spent the majority of my free time, hunting, fishing, skiing, golf, swimming, etc., I could see that my urges to dress would amplify when I didn't have my traditional time consuming activities to occupy a lot of my free time. Maybe, like you being in a foreign country where one may be limited in what they could do in their free time regarding those traditional pre-dressing activities, one would dress more often because they enjoy it and and have more time available for it. Now, if I/you/one came back to the States and had the freedom and access to do the traditional male activities (female activities for out FtM brothers), dressing time may decrease accordingly. Does that make any sense to you?

[erica12b]

the system will not let me simply say " yes "

[CaitlynRenee]

At times in my life when I've been alone and truly lonely, single or at the height of my PTSD experience, I found that dressing and later dressing as CaitlynRenee, gave me a sense of tranquility and peacefulness that I couldn't find otherwise. Loneliness wasn't the cause of my dressing and dressing wasn't the cause of my loneliness. Dressing was an expression of myself and my feminine personality. My feminine side could communicate with the 'inner me' and help me over the rough spots. Thank God for the feminine me, later known as CaitlynRenee. She saved my life.

While in drab, I wouldn't listen to the hurt and made excuses to my macho self. En Femme, I would not only listen, I would comfort my damaged soul. In time, the healing began.

[123tina9ball]

I do feel the lonelness. I was very lucky to have a S.O. for 18 years, but now thats over for about a year and a half. I'm a disabled person (I have a amputated leg) and while I've learned to deal with that, it has made it hard to meet anyone. Then add on that I live in a VERY small town. I hope you and I and all of us for that matter can live a life full of fun, a sense of worth and well being.

good luck Tina

[Eryn]

Loneliness is a form of stress and CDing certainly helps relieve stress. I'm on the other end of the spectrum with a family and many people around me every day, each with some sort of need. Lonely I am not, yet I feel the need to dress.

[vetobob9]

With the help of a wonderful lady I met through the forum and our PM exchanges, I have been thinking a lot about my reasons for dressing. I have always assumed that my dressing was just because there is a girl inside me dying to come out and now she finally has the chance. But now I wonder where she came from and why has she come out when she has throughout my life.

As I was in the shower this morning, it sort of clicked in my mind another aspect I had not considered - extreme lonliness. My urge to dress while here in Korea has grown exponentially, both due to opportunity and I think because I am extremely lonely here. In other times in my life, with my ex wife, I dressed more and had stronger urges when she was not being attentative too me (not just sexually, but emotionally and just physical contact). I first started dressing around 13 when my friends began drifting away and I was alone a lot.

I was the kid with an imaginary friend in elementary school and I still have a vivid imagination. So I wonder now whether "Danni" is the real me or is it a part of me I created to help deal with the lonliness.

Has anyone else tried to make a connection between lonliness and desire to dress or to be a girl?

There actually is a connection between being lonely and choosing to crossdress. You can also be with friends and family and still be lonely.

[docrobbysherry]

Sherry's crappy company! It's pretty much like being all alone! (Hmmm. Wonder why THAT is?)
No where near as full filling as all of u here!

However, my SEX LIFE is much better with her around!

[Sallee]

I certainly understand the loneliness not that I am lonely but I don't dress that much but I do think that dressing can beget loneliness. You dress because it is fun and it is something to do that is easy and allows you to avoid getting out and meeting people unless you meet other CDer's. I have gone through periods where it was come home from school or work dress for the rest of the evening and not leave the house. I had a great time but I sure didn't meet others except maybe other cder's and even that as must of us know is difficult.
I can see while you are off in Korea it could be an easy trap to fall into. I try to keep things in moderation to avoid that cd trap of loneliness. Good luck and great thread

[Persephone]

I have put this out there and now I feel so bad. I feel like I have dismissed my femine side as being an expression of an imaginary friend and I do not think that is right either. I am really conflicted on the inside right now.

Don't be hard on yourself, Danni. None of us really understand ourselves very well, so we keep trying to figure it all out.

I too had an imaginary friend in elementary school, a dog named Rufus. I got in trouble a lot because he went to school with me (I guess I was in trouble because you aren't supposed to bring your dog to school). At one point they even sent me to the school psych!

Like you, I have come to the conclusion that the two, the imaginary friend and my femme side, are not really the same thing at all. Yes, loneliness may trigger "flare ups" but, at least for me, I do not believe it is the cause.

I find it is too hard to figure it all out. Kinda like the person who said, "When I works, I works hard; when I sits, I sits loose; and when I thinks, I falls asleep."

Instead, I just go with the flow and enjoy myself! Maybe give that a try?

Hugs,
Persephone .

[Shelly67]

It's a question that has remained with me for such a longtime . Is the person I see before me in mirror , face painted , someone who fills a void of lonliness ? Or is it some other manifested desire built on the want for closeness to my mother - the person who protected me as a child . is this a reason for sanctity ?? It pains me to think of such questions and often leaves me feeling guilty . As a child I after years of illness and hospital visits I was left feeling lonely , but very protected . Later after catching up 3 years of missed schooling I felt alienated . I was bullied too - all I craved was the protection of my mother . Of course she gave it 100% but as we grow our experiences must be dealt with personally . I ponder on the subject of the times in hospital being around so many females did this leave a seedling in my perception ? It often developes into guilt .
After all , does anyone in a fleeting moment whilst standing dressed in front of a mirror see theyre mum ? I do sometimes .
Years later having married , been thru some very personal episodes I found Shelly to be of great comfort especially when loney.
And then like others , trauma incidents left me depressed and suffering PTSD - a most horrible uncertain time . Shelly again has helped , the time dressed quiet , no worrying , a time to let go . I again questioned in my uncertainty are all the sad experiences in my life comforted by dressing ? Is there another answear ? I'm slowly beggining to think yes . Meditation . My PTSD councellor has advised perhaps taking a meditation class , see if it quells my troubled speeding mind . Sometimes we all feel so isolated, no matter the reason.
I'm sorry to gone off subject slightly , ranting on my own experiences and thoughts , but perhaps one or two sentances of what I've typed may be related to by some on here . Thats where I believe we , crossdressers are sharing a similar outlook , often behaving clan like in union . I truely belive for all our experiences SOME of us are lonely . But , more than anything we are GREATLY misunderstood .
The one thing we all desire - we CRAVE attention .
This has to be the best thread I've yet to read on this forum .
Thank you for posting it , I can relate to many of the answears , as I'm sure many of us can . Hopefully this'll sway the guilty feeling slightly next time i look in the mirror .......................

[Cheryl T]

Loneliness may have something to do with it...but certainly not a cause of it.

Personally I believe it is related to genetics...my only proof (so to speak) is that I have 3 male cousins in my generation. They are all gay and I am CD. There can't be just the effect of my life during developmental years. This would not affect them in the same manner. So I believe it is genetic. Sometimes I envy them...they are more accepted in society than I am. It's easier to be gay than to be CD...but I still wouldn't trade.

[Pythos]

I think perhaps it is something that unfortunately leads to loneliness for many. I know in some ways it has done so for me. I think it is because of my own personal fears, which I have combated for quite a while now. It does not help that I had 5 years robbed from me working on call for a bus company. (I was expected to be in uniform nearly at all times...never again will I allow that much intrusion into my life by a job).

But for those that are brave and out there enough, I think it can lead to the opposite of loneliness. I hope soon to get involved in a group in my area to alleviate my current loneliness. (the loss of the GG also resulted in losing two other friends that were part of that mess.)

[Chun-Li]

I don't think you need to worry about being an "imaginary friend". Crossdressing is very relaxing and relieves stress. You might be stressed or bummed out about being lonely, and it makes you crave crossdressing because it makes you feel better.

[NyssaF]

At times in my life when I've been alone and truly lonely, single or at the height of my PTSD experience, I found that dressing and later dressing as CaitlynRenee, gave me a sense of tranquility and peacefulness that I couldn't find otherwise.

That is exactly how I fell, CaitlynRenee. It took me a while to figure that out about myself. I wrote about it a lot on here a month or two ago. It was very important to my wife that I figure out why I like to dress, and that made it very important to ME. I have to understand myself.

Peace, tranquility, harmony, balance. Those are the things that being dressed bring to me.

[KayleeDahl]

I like you have probably spent too much time trying to figure all this out... but, in my experience...

I've actually had the opposite feeling. It has been once i've been with a significant other for a while, and am no longer lonely, that I am most free about dressing. I broke up with a GF, all the while thinking that I would finally have the time to be me, and express my feminine side, when all of a sudden the drive/freedom left me, and I hypermasculinized myself. I then found a new sig other, got comfortable, and Kaylee came back out.

I would suggest that lonelyness may not be the factor, but maybe boredom, that gives you more time to focus on the things that you are "missing" and one of them is your feminine self? just a blind guess, would love to hear what you think!

Hugs
Kaylee

[BobbieJoe]

I think you're on to something, but don't take it too literal, most great artists are lonely. If you get caught up with "the gang" you'll probably join their group sexual dynamic (GSD)

[Sheren Kelly]

Perhaps being alone gives you greater opportunity to dress, and dressing fills a void in your life. Dressing allows us to express and love a part of ourselves that society generally rejects.

[kendra_gurl]

Danni. There is always a connection between feeling lonely then doing anything you enjoy to help you cope with that loneliness. Some guys would hang out at strip clubs drinking all night picking up chicks with all sorts of problems and disease. At least your not doing anything like that. I have read many of your post here about how you video chat with your children and wife regularly. I'm sure that helps you immensely but then I also suspect when those chats are over it makes you feel even more alone. I've also noticed in some of your post how troubled you are by the amount of time you spend crossdressed.
Danni if it is bothering you, try doing something about it. Find another activity just one night a week to socialize with others. Basketball the movies a beer with friends, anything to not stay in your room dressing up.. You have said before that your wife knows and accepts you dressed so talk to her about it. I't entirely possible you both feel trapped by your nightly video chats which are keeping you both from having any type of other social life. Thus leading to the feeling of such loneliness. Just as crossdressing was a series of little steps to get to were you are today it may only take a few little steps to get back to where your more comfortable with all aspects ofyourr current situation

Best of luck

Kendra
+

[NicoleScott]

If there's a connection between dressing and loneliness, it's not that loneliness sparks dressing, but the reverse. As a closeted crossdresser, I have purposefully kept to myself pretty much, not physically or socially, but personally and emotionally. I'm not a hermit, but my life isn't the open book some of my friends seem to be. So perhaps if I were not a crossdresser, I might be more open and outgoing. Who knows?

[Stephanie47]

I do not dress because I am lonely. When I first dressed I was a teenager. My days were filled with school and after school employment. I had school friends. I had neighborhood friends. I had church friends. I played every male sport there is. I had to make time to dress. There was not a lonely hour in my life. I did not dress while in the army because I had no desire to dress. I had no privacy. But, I had plenty of friends (male and female) to fill the non duty hours. I met and married my wife. The desire to dress returned after marriage. Was it because my wife was beautiful and sexy? Was it because we shopped together for lingerie and sexy clothes for her? I don't know. It crept back into my life. Over the years in became more of my life because I became more accepting of who I am.

Dressing also relieved stress. I could become a person who did not have to act manly. I did not have to think about the high stress job I had for thirty plus years. And as Caitlyn Renee stated, dressing is a great stress reliever for those of us who suffer from PTSD/ Since retiring PTSD has crept back into my life (that's the nature of the beast) and dressing takes my mind over the effects of engaging in such 'manly' behavior!!!

[kendra_gurl]

Nicole and Stephanie you both have valid points. As I was trying to illustrate Danni is already very lonely being away from his wife and family thus his crossdressing is his way of coping with it which might in reality be compounding his loneliness. So I am suggestion a one day a week break to do something different.

[Danni Renee]

I keep trying to understand myself and how I got here. I enjoy dressing and I am starting to really love my feminine side. I dress a lot and I am happiest when I am dressed. More than happy, for the first time in my life I am comfortable in my own skin. As I have become more comfortable, I have started questioning why that is - why does it feel so right? Why am I not satisfied with just dressing occassionally anymore?

As I look into these questions I dig deeper trying to answer the question of why do I dress. It is important to me to know so I can best move forward in my life. So I keep looking for reasons because I think if I find the correct reason I will know where to go with my life.

If my dressing is a result of lonliness and stress, then relieveing the lonliness and stress should ease my urge to dress (I do believe that I would still dress). But if my dressing is really a manifestation of my true self, that has implications as well. I just want to be happy with myself.

It is true that I do not do much outside of the room. I am an intravert by nature anyway and I am really nervous around strangers - most espcially around strangers who do not speak the same language and I cannot even read their words. I live most of my life right now behind a computer, both at work and in the room. I do get out, I workout at the gym, walk, run, or ride my bike at least an hour a day but I mostly even do that alone. I avoid most of my work acquaintences outside of work because they drink alcohol - I come from an alcoholic family and it took me years to break the habit. last weekend, I bought a bottle of wine and sat down with my girlfriend for a video chat; I told her I would drink only one glass and an hour later the bottle was gone. So being around alcohol is simply not an option for me. I will be broke and in the gutter in a year.

Thank you all for your continued support as I work my way through these issues. I cannot wait for the day I can dress just because I want to without all this baggage I carry.

[Suzette Muguet de Mai]

I understand, I am lonely too and prefer it that way. What mistakes I make I have only myself to blame. If I am happy I enjoy it thoroughly alone. I enjoy my feminine times and look forward to them with anticipation and fondness. I do not associate with work associates because I feel they tend to belittle people without question. I have even refused social gatherings with family members other than mother and father because I am usually criticized. When I am dressed I escape and feel protected within my little world. I feel that it is the only time I truly feel open and truthful and do not feel like I live a lie to me or others as a happy male. As a male I am usually the happy guy who jokes and has generally fun, but that is just a cover I use to hide.

[sometimes_miss]

Loneliness and stress don't exactly CAUSE the desire to crossdress; in some cases, what your mind does is suppress the desire to crossdress on a pretty much continuous basis so that you can function normally when dressed as a guy, and when stressed (by loneliness or whatever) the capacity to continue to suppress those thoughts and desires is diminished as your other defense mechanisms fail. For a lot of us, you will see men entering middle age who's crossdressing, transitioning &/or SRS behavior, etc. becomes prominant in our lives as we reach a state of psychological exhaustion from nearly a lifetime of suppressing those thoughts. In other cases, some of us simply feel we can 'let ourselves go' and be who we want to, perhaps feeling we no longer have much to lose, and the comfort we feel by dressing and behaving in a feminine manner becomes more important than than pretending it's just an occasional thing. Ahhh, I'm rambling again. Sorry.

[Frédérique]

I was the kid with an imaginary friend in elementary school and I still have a vivid imagination. So I wonder now whether "Danni" is the real me or is it a part of me I created to help deal with the loneliness.
Has anyone else tried to make a connection between loneliness and desire to dress or to be a girl?

I hadn’t really thought of this before, but I believe there’s a lot of truth to it…:thinking:

When I was a boy I always made up imaginary friends – everyone was older than me, and any actual friends I was lucky enough to get would often move out of town and leave me behind. I had a vivid imagination (still do), so I learned to make up my own games and populate them with an imaginary cast of characters. The truth is, I didn’t realize how lonely I was…
:sad:

When I moved to Kansas, after a busy period filled with socializing and acting somewhat normal, I found myself living alone on the prairie, once again separated from my friends. This latest period of crossdressing I am enjoying coincides with a certain loneliness, or distance, that comes with age and my present circumstances. My imagination often runs wild, to this day, but it is put to use for the artwork I must produce…

When I began crossdressing many years ago I remember consciously thinking I could be the young woman I would wish to meet, or at least look like her and imagine the rest. Strangely enough, I had a girlfriend at the time, but it’s possible that my forced absence from her each week fueled my desire to crossdress – even in the best of times I carry loneliness with me, and my need to dress can be seen as a way to manage this condition…

[tashaly]

I was feeling pretty lonely when I took up dressing, but I don't know if I dress because of it. In fact, having a place here and elsewhere on the net where there are tons of girls like me helps a lot! On the other hand, I wonder if it has taken away from my real world interactions...

[Maria 60]

My biggest question to myself is as i briefly remember the first time trying on my first piece of woman's clothing is, what made me do it, what lead me to try on those pantyhose and slips and why did i get so addicted. Something inside me made me do it. That's why i believe we are born with these feelings. At first i also thought it was sexual, but when i just sit watching TV dressed and feeling so relaxed, there's so much more to it.

[onceinawhile]

I have often thought about my crossdressing as being a source of isolation. It has led me to multiple purges. My denial even carried me into a disastrous marriage. But I keep coming back. At times life is so confusing and stressful, it seems like my closest friend. I need to escape into the feminine world. So many of you have dealt with this better than me. The guilt and fear of discovery are so real, it's like we have this big secret we dare not share. But since my earliest memory and throughout my life I've had this desire. On the lighter side, I enjoy buying girl things, especially off a girl. There is an almost unspoken approval that does lighten the sense of isolation.

[sherri]

After my divorce a decade ago, it occurred to me that it was time to explore the femme stuff that had, I later realized, always been there. And this past decade has been the first time in my adult life that I have not had a GG in my life. As my femme expression blossomed, it eventually occurred to me that it is, among many other things, a way to have that feminine presence in my life. So in a way, it is a way of addressing a form of loneliness, but as others have mentioned, it also results in further isolation and loneliness. I luv being a woman, and in some ways it is better than having a GG, strange as that may sound, but I have learned that "being a woman" in and of itself is not enough, there has to be more in a fulfilling life. I mean,GGs don't go around singing to themselves "Oh goody, I'm a woman I'm a woman", you have to have interests and involvements, whether you do them in a skirt or not. It comes back to what I've been saying ever since I joined this forum -- you gotta have balance.

[BiancaEstrella]

It's a slippery slope for me.

There are three women on my radar right now. I've already been able to discern that two won't like to learn about Dani. Without directly bringing it up with either of them, they've stated that it'd be quite a mental hurdle for them to get over. (One knows because she saw my Halloween '08 picture. One knows because two of our mutual friends were there that night and with my blessing, they shared the Halloween '08 experience. None of them -- including the mutual friends -- know how far down the rabbit hole it goes...) I just haven't had the proper chance to broach the subject with the third.

In some ways, Dani fills the gaps those women don't (and seemingly can't/won't). I find that, when going through the courtship process, I tend to push Dani away, maybe out of fear that the women of interest wouldn't understand. But when there's nobody on the scope, I find creative ways to make Dani time.

I'm weird. lol.

[Karren H]

That sounds horrid.... My life is so full of family, friends and coworkers I long for a little bit of loneliness...

[Annaliese2010]

W... My urge to dress while here in Korea has grown exponentially, both due to opportunity and I think because I am extremely lonely here. In other times in my life, with my ex wife, I dressed more and had stronger urges when she was not being attentative too me (not just sexually, but emotionally and just physical contact). I first started dressing around 13 when my friends began drifting away and I was alone a lot...

Has anyone else tried to make a connection between loneliness and desire to dress or to be a girl?Well for me something similar...not quite as simple as loneliness. When I have been used taken advantage of betrayed played redefined ignored assumed trampled on laughed at (probably) back stabbed sucked dry beat up left for dead at the roadside - which happens allll the time - this is when I gladly take a back seat and let Annaliese deal. She's sucha bitc#in girl cool and confident - tends to be much more assertive than I - in fact even She looks down on me sometimes - well, more like teases or laughs with revulsion (it's a back-of-the-mind tude thingy - no, I dont talk to myself), or is sort of sarcastic sometimes even talking about me that way to another TG - but I can tell she cares underneath it all...um ...I think? Lol... Idk...

But point is...yes Danni I totally get what you're saying. In me there is something of a sense of 'in your face revenge' simply by transitioning...sort of like... "Oh what the h#ll does SHE know anyway?!" - referring to the gg dujour who fcd me over, that is. Like... "Oh wow youre pretty so what? If you could see me now boy would You ever flipout cuz youre not all that great lookin suddenly, are ya?! The playing fields a little more fair now...huh honey?!".

[drushin703]

sometimes loneliness parades itself around as another kind of fear.Mike Tyson said that "sometimes fear is good when it can come and warm the room".
Now isolation is a different animal. I was stationed at a radio-reciever station outside of Keflevic Iceland, during the war.I was not lonely for another soul
but that isolation shit is some nasty stuff. It can take a very serious emotional toll on you and long term can screw you up, big time.But since crossdressing
is what I do and being a crossdresser is what I am, I THINK it best to do it on my own, just like when I started it, with no outside input, wherther positive
or negative, at all. With that said, I would love to have a girlfriend or a so to share things with.But life goes on and the sun still sets and I enjoy almost
everything about me and I have had that pussy befor.......................................its overated..dana.

[Vickie_CDTV]

I grew up in an abusive home, was bullied growing up and all of that nonsense, so I just naturally tend to isolate myself. One positive thing that came from my crossdressing is that it gave me a chance (and a reason) to meet people, go places and do things I would have never done otherwise.

As the cost of travel has skyrocketed, and most friends (trans and non-trans) have moved on, I find myself alone most of the time. At this point in my life, if it were not for my work, I would practically be a shut-in.

When I was younger, I always hoped crossdressing would help relieve the pain and loneliness I felt when it came to romantic and sexual desires for the opposite sex. It did to a limited extent, but alas, not nearly enough, and it never filled that void in my heart.

[adrienner99]

Danni--Regardless of if or how your lonliness and crossdressing are connected, I hope this site
makes you feel a little less isolated.

We all struggle with the big WHY of crossdressing. I have dressed as a girl for many years and never fully understood it. Please don't hesitate to chat us up if you ever need to talk.

[Jorja]

Danni,
Don't beat your head against the wall because you do not know why you dress. Fact is, you may never find the cause of it. What is, just is. Your lonliness and dressing are connected in that dressing makes you feel good about yourself. Being lonely make you feel bad. You dress to feel good.