F.A.O Those Who State They Wish They Had Been Born Female.

[Vicky_Scot]

From the outset I will state this is not directed at Transexuals. This is purely directed at the Crossdressers.

I always find it strange when I hear crossdressers stating that they wish they had been born female. So lets look at that statement. If you had been born female then you would not even think about being female, you are female and thats what gender you are.

Now lets look at crossdressers. Crossdressers dress in the attire of the opposite sex and in some cases present themself as female out in the big world. Part of the excitement of dressing is the fact that it is taboo and you are doing something that society frowns upon although you only see it as you expressing your true self.

But here is the crux of the matter. If you were not born male then you would not have experienced all the different aspects of dressing and the feeling that you gain from expressing your fem side. If you had been born female then you would not have experienced any of those feeling whilst dressing as do you really think most woman enjoy wearing a bra and tights and a skirt etc to work on a warm day for eight hours or more. The first thing they do when they get home is take all that stuff off and throw on jogging pants and a sweater yet all we want to do is put on what they are taking off.

The thing is, if I was to come back in another life as a woman, one thing is for sure I would want to keep the brain I have now. A Male to female crossdressers brain in a womans body.........now thats worth coming back for.

Hope I got my point across.

[Cynthia Anne]

Point taken! So I guess I was born female, just have a male body! Perhaps I have the wrong brain! No, no! Must be the body thing! Oh well, I give up! Hugs!

[Gina X]

From the outset I will state this is not directed at Transexuals. This is purely directed at the Crossdressers.

I always find it strange when I hear crossdressers stating that they wish they had been born female. So lets look at that statement. If you had been born female then you would not even think about being female, you are female and thats what gender you are.

Now lets look at crossdressers. Crossdressers dress in the attire of the opposite sex and in some cases present themself as female out in the big world. Part of the excitement of dressing is the fact that it is taboo and you are doing something that society frowns upon although you only see it as you expressing your true self.

But here is the crux of the matter. If you were not born male then you would not have experienced all the different aspects of dressing and the feeling that you gain from expressing your fem side. If you had been born female then you would not have experienced any of those feeling whilst dressing as do you really think most woman enjoy wearing a bra and tights and a skirt etc to work on a warm day for eight hours or more. The first thing they do when they get home is take all that stuff off and throw on jogging pants and a sweater yet all we want to do is put on what they are taking off.

The thing is, if I was to come back in another life as a woman, one thing is for sure I would want to keep the brain I have now. A Male to female crossdressers brain in a womans body.........now thats worth coming back for.

Hope I got my point across.

I've read that, now my Brain hurts!! LOL

[TGMarla]

I see your point. But I still feel like I wish I'd been born female. I just gravitate to femme things, especially girl clothes. I realize that had I been born female, I'd likely not have such an enhanced affinity for wearing dresses and heels, but it would sure make wearing them a whole lot easier.

[ReineD]

From the outset I will state this is not directed at Transexuals. This is purely directed at the Crossdressers.

I always find it strange when I hear crossdressers stating that they wish they had been born female.

I take it that if a crossdresser wishes he was born female, then he is not a crossdresser. Rather, she is a transsexual who is choosing to not go further at that point in time.

[Valerie Nova]

Agreed with Maria; sure the desire wouldn't be as strong, but if I saw a pretty pair of shoes, I could buy them and wear them in public, and probably look a hell of a lot better wearing them than I do now.

I have the female desire to buy pretty clothes and shoes, and I'm sure that wouldn't go away had I been born a girl, since that desire is so common among girls. Sure, I'd take being able to wear them for granted, but I'd still be able to wear them.

Plus, I don't think I'm alone when I say my feminine side wants more than just to dress as a girl; I have other female desires too that will have to go unmet because they're impossible.

[Barbra P]

But had they been born female, maybe they would have felt content in the body they were born with and lived happy lives, rather than living a life of a cross-dresser with all its trials and tribulations. They might not have had to endured a youth wondering why they felt different from the other boys around them, why puberty brought on even more strange feeling and more uncertainty, feelings they felt must be kept secret in order to avoid shame and ridicule from their friends and even their families. They might not have had to live a good deal of their lives in their closet, only coming out when the coast was clear.

Most importantly they might not have had to live the life so many of us do, a lie of omission – not being able to tell the one person in the world we love the most – our closely held secrete. They probably would not have to feel the excruciating pain of having “come clean” and telling our loved one, only to be utterly rejected by that person. Sometimes simplistic logic doesn’t fit a complex scenario, and cross-dressing certainly meets all the requirements for an extremely complex scenario.

[Steph.TS]

what you said make sense, I realize that this wasn't specifically aimed at TS, but if we had been born as women, if it's purely for the thrill of doing something taboo then it'd be us dressing as men trying to present as men. where as if the brain itself is truly feminine there wouldn't be a conflict, there has to be a way to find out if it's for a thrill or if it's a conflict between the brain and the gender of the body.

Some people start out crossdressing only to realize that it's not just about the clothes, they wish they could have a feminine body, then they could be accepted as one of the girls, they could be beautiful. Some feel like they have missed out on many experiences that ever GG has, we've been socialized as boys and men and it sucks that because we've been born with one set of genitals, that on a 50/50 chance we feel that we got the wrong gender and expectations has place upon everyone male or female. We have to stop and think about are you happy with the roles and expectations you have placed upon you, or are wanting to have the roles and expectations of the opposite gender?

[gaylegirlify]

I guess for natural women they don't have the feelings we have, they are naturally feminine and see their bras as a pain in the butt lets get it off but for us wearing a bra skirt etc is an exciting thing, i guess because we wern't born as women growing up with all these items of clothing, perhaps the thrill of wearing something feminine is what makes us feel good, personnally i love dressing en femme i feel so at ease, relaxed and natural, i only wish i could dress without having to hide for fear of being ridiculed.I agree though if i came back as a woman i would definately like to have my male brain.

[Kayla Shadows]

People are so different so its hard to take a look at crossdressers in a few sentences. Everybody has different reasons and different feelings. Women seem to be very different too. Some are fine in a relaxed state while others go all out with their makeup,clothes and other things to embody their feelings as a woman. I can see wanting to relax after work though. And I know some cd's only dress at home so they are gonna put things on that some women can't wait to get off.

[Cheryl T]

I take it that if a crossdresser wishes he was born female, then he is not a crossdresser. Rather, she is a transsexual who is choosing to not go further at that point in time.


I have to disagree ReineD.
Wishing you were born a female and feeling that you are a female in the wrong body are not the same thing.
I wish I could fly, but that doesn't make me a bird.

[tiffanyjo89]

Cheryl says it right.

I sometimes wish I had been born a girl, but not because I want to be one or surgically/medically alter my body to be more like one...it's because I feel girls (especially in the last 15 years) have gained a lot more freedoms in what they can and can't do. Girls can play football in some middle/junior high and high schools, but they can also cheerlead and stuff. Guys, on the other hand, don't have that same flexibility in most public schools, largely because the school only orders the female cheerleading uniform in bulk as a way to save money...also most public school environments tend to be more receptive to a tomboy than a girly boy.

[Frédérique]

The thing is, if I was to come back in another life as a woman, one thing is for sure I would want to keep the brain I have now. A Male to female crossdressers brain in a womans body.........now thats worth coming back for.

I know you didn’t mean it, but it sounds like you’re implying that a female brain would be unsatisfactory – has it ever occurred to you that, in the hypothetical situation of being in a female body with your current masculine mindset, your new body may reject the intruder? Your new surroundings would certainly modify your MtF brain, or my name isn’t Freddy…
:doh:

You’re also implying that you, as a male, would make better “use” of a woman’s body, at least in terms of dressing, which is a chauvinistic attitude replete with non-sympathy. Perhaps, but isn’t it more likely that you, inhibiting a female body, would seek the things that are largely taboo for women? You may be pre-programmed for the embracement of wrongness being MtF, so why not try it from the other side? Maybe the change of scenery will force you to confront your own masculinity, and, subsequently, long-overdue education about gender issues…
:straightface:

Hey, don’t blame me for opening this can of worms – I don’t even fish…:heehee:

[TGMarla]

I agree though if i came back as a woman i would definately like to have my male brain.

At the risk of spewing politically correct drivel, I think the FtM members here might just take exception to your statement here. Gender dysphoria is a crappy thing no matter how it manifests itself. And were any of us to truly suddenly be transformed into the other gender, we might find quickly that the grass is indeed greener on the other side of the fence....in appearance only. Ah....but to be born that way.....different matter.

[Joanne f]

The point is if you really wanted to be born a female this has very little to do with the cross dressing or should i say the cross dressing is not so much as an issue. well it would not be for me but i have said in the past i know very little about TS issues .( come to think of it i am not to sure if i know much about CDing issues) :D

[Shelly Preston]

From the outset I will state this is not directed at Transexuals. This is purely directed at the Crossdressers.

I always find it strange when I hear crossdressers stating that they wish they had been born female. So lets look at that statement. If you had been born female then you would not even think about being female, you are female and thats what gender you are.

I dont find it strage at all some people find they are more comfortable presenting as a female. This does not necessarily mean they are transexual.


Now lets look at crossdressers. Crossdressers dress in the attire of the opposite sex and in some cases present themself as female out in the big world. Part of the excitement of dressing is the fact that it is taboo and you are doing something that society frowns upon although you only see it as you expressing your true self.

You seem to assume people only dress for excitement. Its not the fact its taboo its just some people dont like what we do and dont understand.


But here is the crux of the matter. If you were not born male then you would not have experienced all the different aspects of dressing and the feeling that you gain from expressing your fem side. If you had been born female then you would not have experienced any of those feeling whilst dressing as do you really think most woman enjoy wearing a bra and tights and a skirt etc to work on a warm day for eight hours or more. The first thing they do when they get home is take all that stuff off and throw on jogging pants and a sweater yet all we want to do is put on what they are taking off.

If those who want to be were born female we would most likely be happier but it will forever remain an unanswered question.



The thing is, if I was to come back in another life as a woman, one thing is for sure I would want to keep the brain I have now. A Male to female crossdressers brain in a womans body.........now thats worth coming back for.

Hope I got my point across.

I think you just insulted half the population and I find it extemely sad you dont seem to value the female brain

[NathalieX66]

I was born in the body that I was born with, and I adapted. That didn't stop me from having a feminine side, dolling up in dresses, and going out a woman out in public.

[Debglam]

Crossdressers dress in the attire of the opposite sex and in some cases present themself as female out in the big world. Part of the excitement of dressing is the fact that it is taboo and you are doing something that society frowns upon although you only see it as you expressing your true self.

Vicky, I disagree with the first part but agree with the second. I don't think that all (many?) crossdressers do it for the "thrill." I do agree that dressing seems to allow me to express part of my "true self."


I take it that if a crossdresser wishes he was born female, then he is not a crossdresser. Rather, she is a transsexual who is choosing to not go further at that point in time.

This brings me to Reine's comment which I also don't think is true all the time. I don't consider myself to be transsexual and don't feel the wish to be "born female" although I wonder how I would have felt if this would have been an option when I was a small child. I don't know but that was a long time ago! :) Now if it was possible to flip a switch and change back and forth, I would do it in a minute.

The more I learn about all of this the more I disagree with the "Gender Binary." I think that most people are somewhere between stereotypically male or female. While I am very happy to be able to express feminine parts of my personality, both dressed and not, there are male parts that I don't want to give up. To get back to Vicky, you have to wonder why society has such a hard time with this?

Debby

[RebeccaLynne]

But had they been born female, maybe they would have felt content in the body they were born with and lived happy lives, rather than living a life of a cross-dresser with all its trials and tribulations. They might not have had to endured a youth wondering why they felt different from the other boys around them, why puberty brought on even more strange feeling and more uncertainty, feelings they felt must be kept secret in order to avoid shame and ridicule from their friends and even their families. They might not have had to live a good deal of their lives in their closet, only coming out when the coast was clear.

At the tender age of four, I realized my birth gender was at odds with my perceived gender identity. I've experienced all the anxieties Barbra P has outlined, and then some. Although I prayed every night to transform to a girl by morning, my fervent desire was dashed by the somber realization that I'd, once again, awakened as a boy. Yet my dreams were always filled with the contentment and joy of having been a girl, at least while I slumbered. "To sleep, perchance to dream". You know the author.

Some here raised as Christians may recall this childhood prayer:

"Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. And if I die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take".

And I wished I would die. That is how deeply I felt about having been born in the wrong body. To this day, I still tear up whenever I relive that childhood reality.


I take it that if a crossdresser wishes he was born female, then he is not a crossdresser. Rather, she is a transsexual who is choosing to not go further at that point in time.

Reine, I completely agree with your premise, insofar as it applies to my own set of circumstances. Christine Jorgenson and Renee Richards were not as well known then as they are now. I would consider them the pioneers of transitioning. Yet I didn't learn of them until much later, much too late to alter my course in life. Born male, I was obliged to fulfill the expectations which accompanied my birth gender. I played "the hand I was dealt", and still do. In public, at least. At the age of 57, GRS (or SRS, whatever!) FFS, and hormone therapy would do little to alter so many years as a genetic male. Too little, too late. In private, however, I dress enfemme in an attempt to reconcile my lost youthful aspirations of a life I wished I could have enjoyed. A girl can still dream...:daydreaming:


I have to disagree ReineD.
Wishing you were born a female and feeling that you are a female in the wrong body are not the same thing.

Cheryl, you're correct in that the two are not exactly the same...yet there are definite similarities wherein the two coincide. I should've been born a genetic female, yet I wasn't. That's the reality; and yet, I wished as a child that I had been born a girl, as that's my gender identity... so the two viewpoints can, and do, coexist in harmony, at least within myself... and I'd speculate others here, as well.

[ReineD]

This brings me to Reine's comment which I also don't think is true all the time. I don't consider myself to be transsexual and don't feel the wish to be "born female" although I wonder how I would have felt if this would have been and option when I was a small child. I don't know but that was a long time ago! :) Now if it was possible to flip a switch and change back and forth, I would do it in a minute.

But Debby, there is a difference between wishing one had been born female and as you say wondering what it must be like or wishing there could be a switch to flip on and off. The first is a permanent, unchanging wish. The second and third are the manifestations of dualgender, in other words the ability to enjoy both the masculine and feminine selves.

[Lorileah]

I wish I was born rich instead of good looking. I sort of kinda understand the point but wishing one was something else does not diminish the part of who you are. I think it would be more correct to say that if you had been born with female parts you would have missed out on the life experiences you have had. I wish is nothing more than saying you would have liked something different (or that something will happen).

To quote a famous sage, Cinderella with whom most of just can relate to when our clock strikes midnight and we have to go back to being who we are, "A wish is a dream your heart makes." (OK a misquote :))

[Kathryn Philips]

...The thing is, if I was to come back in another life as a woman, one thing is for sure I would want to keep the brain I have now. A Male to female crossdressers brain in a womans body.........now thats worth coming back for.

I think Vicky's last paragraph is in essence what CDs who say "I wish I was born a girl" really mean. It is certainly what I mean when I say it (and I say it a lot - to myself).

If I had been born a girl, unless I happened to be transgendered the other way round (FTM), I would not feel this thing that I feel, namely that I am not entirely confortable with my biological gender. It is a feeling that I like, one that I consider fortunate to have. A sort of a gift. What I can truthfully say is: I'm grateful, I was not born a normal* man.

Nevertheless I do have some dreams. I wish those come true one day.

*You know what I mean, I'm not trying to offend anyone here, by "normal" I mean a man who is not one of us. There is nothing abnormal about being a CD

[Daphne Renee]

Vicky I agree with you for the most part. I have often wondered what it would be like to be female but not to the point of really wanting to do something about it. Just speaking for myself I dont think I would appreciate the things I do now if I had been born female.

[Kaz]

You make a lot of sense Vicky, but again, there are those assumptions we can so easily make trying to generalise. I have had times over the years when I have wished I had been born female, and then... I haven't. I know that if I waived the magic wand and became female tomorrow (not TS, but some magical change) it would be like heaven for a while and then I would want my male life back. This may be an age thing. I have too much invested in my current male role that I do not want to go downhill, even by openly transitioning. Again, transitioning is a wish/fantasy, but one I will never do, as I value the relationships I have with people as I am now.

I know this goes against the grain for many people, but we all have to find our own paths and there is no 'one size fits all'.

I didn't really think Vicky was taking a pop at female brains being in anyway inferior, BTW, just that being born a female you'd have missed the MtF CDing opportunity!

It is all a very confusing affair! I remember seeing a film when I was in my teens I guess.. Dr Jeckyll and Mrs Hyde... this was not porn, it was mainstream, with a serious British actor as Jeckyll.. Ralph Bates... Apart from the fact he got to the point when he never knew when he would change into Mrs Hyde... this was a stunner... you take the potion, and you get a red hot female body, with your brain, but female emotions/hormones and all that... then you can go back... and forth!

That... is my fantasy!

[Debglam]

But Debby, there is a difference between wishing one had been born female and as you say wondering what it must be like or wishing there could be a switch to flip on and off. The first is a permanent, unchanging wish. The second and third are the manifestations of dualgender, in other words the ability to enjoy both the masculine and feminine selves.

True Reine. I guess I am having trouble with the word "wish" because it suggests getting something without any effort. Wishing to be born female is one thing but how many who would "wish" to be born female would take the arduous journey to transition? I think we are just talking semantics though.

[Savannah]

I am a cd but i often wished prayed as a child that i was a girl. i think it was mostly when i was pressured. but i love being a man and all the abilities i have. but would definatly be a woman i could choose to. but would like the ability to switch at will... but probably be a woman most of the time....

[noeleena]

Hi,

Is there a difference then when your born with both a male / female brain . this does not come up much & you can not seperate one form the other. & it really does not matter how you see your self , its fixed at birth,

...noeleena...

[Joanne f]

Hi,

Is there a difference then when your born with both a male / female brain . this does not come up much & you can not seperate one form the other. & it really does not matter how you see your self , its fixed at birth,

...noeleena...

The only way i can answer that is from my personal point of view and that is you are locked in a cycle, at one time you are content being a male and enjoying all the things that go's with it and then the feminine side starts to kick in for no apparent reason and you start to enjoy all the things that comes with it until it builds up to a head of wanting to really be a female in all ways to the point that you would if you could become one , and then after a while the cycle starts again , the problem is you are already one thing so you do not need to desire that so does this off balance the stronger feminine desire as you are inclined to desire more what you do not have .

[Jorja]

What I want to know is: Why don't we have a choice in the matter? We are either born male or female. Some of us don't get a chance to say, "Hey, wait a second, there is a problem here. Wrong mind in the wrong body!!! Are we built on an assembly line somewhere? From what I read God is a perfect being. I have not met him personally. I am told he could not make this kind of mistake yet it happens. Does he just have a sick sense of humor?