My boyfriend really is 'normal'

[Jayne1963]

My boyfriend is your typical man, farts, belches, sportsman, good looking, macho, mans man, lots of female friends, flirter, typical bloke!
But 2 months into our relationship he told me that he was a cross dresser.
I can remember that night so clearly. He was sooo wound up. He said he needed to tell me something. And that something was bad. My god! I didn't know what to think. Was he a murderer? Was he a rapist? A paedophile? He cried. I was terriified to know the truth. But I needed to know. Eventually after alot of agonising, he showed me this site........ WOW ! I was soo relieved, I laughed with relief.
Since then our life has been fantastic! And his cross dressing has enriched our lives and made life more interesting. That's not to say I fully understand everything about it , I need to know more. I would love to converse with like minded people and maybe meet up for a chat with anyone in this area. Ian feels the same way.
So anyone out there who feels the same, let me know.

[Cynthia Anne]

A beautiful story from a beautiful lady! That's the first thing that popped into my mind when I read your story! I'm sure many of us will offer help to you the best we can! Hugs to you both!

[IMkrystal]

! can remember that night so clearly. He was sooo wound up. He said he needed to tell me something. And that something was bad. My god! I didn't know what to think. Was he a murderer? Was he a rapist? A paedophile? He cried. I was terriified to know the truth. But I needed to know. Eventually after alot of agonising, he showed me this site........ WOW ! I was soo relieved, I laughed with relief.
Since then our life has been fantastic! And his cross dressing has enriched our lives and made life more interesting. That's not to say I fully understand everything about it , I need to know more. I would love to converse with like minded people and maybe meet up for a chat with anyone in this area. Ian feels the same way.
So anyone out there who feels the same, let me know.

IF more women had this type of reaction maybe there would not be sooo many lonely cross dressers?

[susand262]

IF more women had this type of reaction maybe there would not be sooo many lonely cross dressers?

This is so very true

[BRANDYJ]

Hi Jayne, Welcome to our site. I have to agree, I wish more women were like you. You see the man you love for all the man he is and yet you see the beauty of him having this feminine side. Many of us are all man, but with this softer, more gentle feminine side that in my opinion, makes us better partners for our women, as well as over-all...better men. Thank you for sharing your feelings and story.

[Maria 60]

I think i said this before but anyway, the day i got married i thought it was the last day i was going to dress. But it was worst because my wife had drawers full of pantyhose and skirts and slips were everywhere on the floor in the washroom i couldn't take it anymore so i came clean to her. She was cool about it but couldn't believe it because we knew each other for years before we got together,and that i always had girlfriends and that she almost had to take a number to talk to me. She said i was always dressed good and always made sure i was in style, played football and hockey in school. She said that she thought i was very normal but had a thing about woman's clothing. She started buying me my own stuff because i was stretching her cloth but always offered her stuff before she would donate it. Her accepting this was the breaking point that even myself i started not feeling so guilty and ashamed. All i had to heir from her that i was very normal.

[prene]

Hi Jayne, Welcome to our site. I have to agree, I wish more women were like you....

I agree welcome to the site.

[Anne2345]

Hi Jayne! What a heart warming and fantastic story you tell! If more people were as accepting and understanding as you, the world would be a much better place for us crossdressers. That being said, you must be a fantastic woman, and a very special woman, for your boyfriend to have the "heart to heart" talk with you about his crossdressing only two months into your relationship. He must also trust you, and consider you worth the "risk" of divulging such a secret. Clearly, given your description of his emotions during his "confession," it was not easy for him. I applaud his courage and honesty, and the person you must be that he feels he can trust you with this.

Without having the benefit of knowing your boyfriend, but based upon my own experience and those of others through this forum, I have no doubt that he is, as you say, otherwise normal. But the truth of the matter is that he is also very special. He acknowledges, accepts, and embraces his feminine side, as well. This is a beautiful and courageous act. We are all more than society would make us out to be, or have us to be. Society thrives on simplifying matters to a ridiculously low level, with very little room for deviation. Why have to choose between being strictly masculine, or only feminine, based upon one's gender at birth? We experience and thrive upon an experience that transcends a singular gender, and encompasses a world of both. How can such a beautiful and all encompassing experience be viewed in a negative light? It should not be! Instead, it should be cultivated, nurtured, and allowed to coexist with the remainder of society.

Based upon your post, you seemingly are in agreement with my philosophy on crossdressing. Of course, I have spent my entire life sorting through the issue, and trying to figure it out, whereas it is still new to you. As such, you are wise to choose to learn more about it, and to ask questions. Never feel that you cannot approach or ask questions of your boyfriend on this subject. If the two of you are going to have a long, healthy relationship, this is important. Not only on the issue of crossdressing, but any issue. But on this issue in particular, it is important that you try to understand him, and be there for him. Of course, the reverse is true, as well - he must respect and be honest with you, too.

It seems like the two of you are on the right path. And given that you are looking for additional information in your attempt to understand further, you are definitely in the right place. Welcome to the forum, and I wish you the best of luck! :)

[Eryn]

IF more women had this type of reaction maybe there would not be sooo many lonely cross dressers?

Or lonely wives trying to fix (or worse, punish) their husbands.

Jayne, you have an enlightened, positive, and mature attitude based upon mutual understanding and respect with your SO. It's so refreshing to see this. Thank you for your post and I hope to hear a lot more from you (and Ian) in the future.

Hugs, Eryn

[Deana ♥ Danni]

You see the man you love for all the man he is and yet you see the beauty of him having this feminine side. Many of us are all man, but with this softer, more gentle feminine side that in my opinion, makes us better partners for our women, as well as over-all...better men.

I am happy for you both!! I agree with Brandy and Krystal :) I feel like my SO Danni Renee is so much more affectionate because of her feminine side, and I LOVE it!! I know some of the GG's don't agree with me, but I AM VERY THANKFUL that Danni Renee is just the way she is, I love her that way. I also want to say GOOD for you Jayne, for supporting your SO!!

Hugs,
Deana ♥ Danni

[NathalieX66]

Yay!
Human beings are pretty complicated, aren't they, Jayne?

[darla_g]

thank you for writing that , it was terrific to hear something like that

[giuseppina]

Hello Jayne

Your boyfriend is very lucky to have you. If you can persuade him to read the posts if not open a membership here, that would be good for him.

If you're interested, there is plenty of material on the net about us. The pornography can be safely ignored, as can any demonising or otherwise transphobic material. This may not be your cup of tea, but I've posted a few journal articles elsewhere on this site, one of which is entitled "Surprise! Men Who Cross-Dress Are Similar to Men Who Don't". Obtaining a copy requires payment unless you can find the journal in which it is published at a university library. I posted the title to avoid running afoul of the links rules here; google.com knows where it can be found.

Good luck with your relationship.

[docrobbysherry]

Jayne, there r quite a few CD.com members from across the pond! After communicating with folks here for nearly 2 years, I felt the need to actually MEET some! So, I attended a CD convention. I was shocked at first how everyone looked! Then, by how "normal" everyone seemed!

Not only will u learn a lot about CD and TG/TS individuals, I think u will find most of them to be very friendly, accepting, helpful, and excellent company! As I have!

[Pythos]

Jayne, another example of the kind of women we need more of. :)

[Savannah]

Thanks Jayne I to have been blessed with a gf like you. only here in the last 6 mo. i told her about my other side here about 3 mo ago. and have been over whelmed with the support and encouragement she has given me. hey she has bought me my first wig and my very own make up and the list goes on. she is the first person that i have ever told, the whole truith to about the way i feel. and my desire to dress. matter of fact she pushes me to explore and express the Savannah side of me. and i am loving it....

[Angiemead12]

Glad you could join our forum and support your partner! If you ever need help or had questions I would like to help :D

[DonniDarkness]

AWWWWWW. You two are just adorable, have fun keep up the communication!

-Donni-

[VanessaVW]

I'm happy that you didn't think crossdressers were in the category of rapists and murderers!!! You seem to be very open-minded, and that is a rare quality.
Welcome!

[Samantha Jaynes]

Thanks for your story. I so identify with your partner, thinking it was the most awful confession to have to make...I also told my current partner about my girl self at the very beginning of our relationship. I'd never done that before. I swore that if I ever became involved with anyone again I would do so. She was immediately supportive, if a little confused, and I'm so glad I told her. Now we are working it out together. It's not always easy but I know we're on the right path.

[LizCD]

I would love to chat with the both of you about the trials and tribulations of being a crossdresser believe you me i've had a few I do on occations get up to hull with my job (i'm a truck driver) and if there is the offer of a cup of coffee going then i'll chat for hours not saying your understand any more at the end you may ever have more questions that what you had to start with but i'll give you honest and truthfull answers.

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Jayne

Its good to see you have come here to learn more.
I am sure we wil be able to answer most of your questions, or at least help you find them.

I must say having visited your city on a few occasions I have never had any trouble from anyone who noticed me.
I even had one lady come over and start a conversation in the pub.

[Daphne Renee]

Hi Jayne and welcome to the forum. Your boyfriend is very lucky to have such a supporting person in his life.
I hope the two of you are very happy together. I dont know all the answers but you are welcome to send me a PM anytime. I might not know the answer but I will listen to what you have to say.

[Crysten]

Oh wow that's awesome. Would you like to be dipped in severe anger, hate, and fear? Go visit www.crossdresserswives.com. Never in any of my online experiences have I ever been to a site so filled with anger. I think it's mostly based on puritan American nonsense. If more American women had the attitude you have, this site would dry up quickly. But then, of course, a lot of these women have been lied to.....maybe YEARS into the marriage they found out about their husbands dressing, and they feel betrayed. GENTLEPEOPLE, always be honest with your significant other. BEFORE you get married. Trust me, you won't regret it.

[anonymousinmaryland]

So many replies I didn't read 'em all. But thank you for being understanding with HIM and you'll find answers to any of your (and his) questions here at this site.

[Kaz]

Hi Jayne,

Good to see you on the site and I hope you learn loads. We are a diverse bunch though and don't always agree with each other... ie we are all pretty normal and not mass murderers or rapists, and yes.. I only have one head.. even if I am from Yorkshire! We'd like to learn too... this is what it is about! So all your experiences as an accepting partner will help us with our partners etc...

Take Care,

[SamanthaS]

Your boyfriend is a Crossdresser? Dump his sissy-ass! LOL. Welcome and if your interested in cloning yourself so that there are more women like you, even better :)

[Nigella]

Jayne, you have had a miriad of responses to your thread, but I hope that you take them all in context. This is a support site, and yes it is wonderful that you support your SO, however, there is a flip side. There are a number of Genetic Girls who are not as supportive as you. They have just as many reasons to be unsupportive as you do to be supportive. There are as many TGs who will be envious of the support you give your SO, again there will be varying reasons for this envy.

I don't mean to rain on your parade, just as I do not wish to devalue the support you obviously have for your SO. It is people like you and Sandra, my SO, who are needed on this site to offer the advice and calm voice to those who find it difficult to accept that there are MEN who like to wear dresses, just as there are women like yourselves who do not find it abhorant. I do hope that your visits to this site are not tainted by some of the negative responses you will get from both GGs and TGs.

[Jill Devine]

Jayne, the world would be a better place if more people were as open, accepting and non-judgmental as you are. Good for you.

[Lexicd28]

Your boyfriend is very lucky to have you, it is awesome that you are so understanding! I had that same conversation with an ex girlfriend, with a terrible response. I'm happy for both of you, and it's encouraging to hear about!
~Lexi

[Jayne1963]

Thank you to everyone for a warm welcome and support. I do have questions and lots more to say. But I'll do that soon as I don't have much time at the moment.

[PretzelGirl]

Welcome to our little piece of the world Jayne! As you see above, there are a number of our members that don't enjoy the support that you are giving to your spouse. What is missing above is that there are also a number of others that have supporting wives, although in the minority. Please feel free to ask any questions you feel you need to think through. You will get a myriad of answers and in some cases you will need to sort through opposing viewpoints. But that will just show you that it is a diverse world for all of us and it results in some pretty polar experiences and views in some cases. Don't let that sway you, just take your time and work out what applies to you and your happiness and you will find great value in the help offered by everyone here.

Amazingly enough, no one here has mentioned the FAB forum (maybe in another thread?). But that forum is for the Female at Birth (FAB) members and is a great place for the spouses of the MtF CD'ers to have some more private conversations. You can apply to be a member there after 10 posts (I see you have 7 now) and it is highly encouraged. I think there is value in seeing the comments and feelings of the CD'ers, but there most certainly is value in having those private conversations with those with similar situations.

Enjoy the forum and I hope we get to keep seeing more of you!

[Nicole Rose]

I hope to tell my girlfriend one day.

[stockinged nemo]

Jayne, your boyfriend sounds a lot like me. I'm similar in a variety of ways to him. I like sports as much as any guy, I have lifted weights...in the past...lol, i like beer, and I love women. Your guy is lucky to have an understanding woman. I recently told my wife of a few years that I like to dress. I tried to tell her earlier by dropping hints and seeing her reaction to the topic, which wasn't positive, so I just couldn't bring myself to tell her. I finally mustered the courage to tell her, which has been a couple of months ago now, and the topic hasn't been spoken of much since then. Maybe I should show her this site like your guy did. I think it really could be a fun thing for us to share, and could even bond us further, but I find it difficult to talk to her about it more. I keep hoping she brings it up. Kudos to you for being openminded and learning more and seeking understanding of your s/o.

[erickka]

Well miss Jayne, You've come to the right place to gain a lot of insight and information. We are all one big happy family and welcome you here.

[kristinacd55]

Thank you to everyone for a warm welcome and support. I do have questions and lots more to say. But I'll do that soon as I don't have much time at the moment.

Hi Jayne and welcome to the site! It's great that you're supportive....you'll get a lot of feedback from here for sure which will be positive and negative so take it all with a grain of salt. :)

[Jayne1963]

Jayne, your boyfriend sounds a lot like me. I'm similar in a variety of ways to him. I like sports as much as any guy, I have lifted weights...in the past...lol, i like beer, and I love women. Your guy is lucky to have an understanding woman. I recently told my wife of a few years that I like to dress. I tried to tell her earlier by dropping hints and seeing her reaction to the topic, which wasn't positive, so I just couldn't bring myself to tell her. I finally mustered the courage to tell her, which has been a couple of months ago now, and the topic hasn't been spoken of much since then. Maybe I should show her this site like your guy did. I think it really could be a fun thing for us to share, and could even bond us further, but I find it difficult to talk to her about it more. I keep hoping she brings it up. Kudos to you for being openminded and learning more and seeking understanding of your s/o.

Hi, Ian and I believe it would be a good idea for you to show your wife this site. If Ian hadn't shown me, (in fact thats how he actually 'told' me as he couldn't get the words out) I think it would have been difficult for me to get my head round what he was telling me and for me to understand. Before he told me about his CDing I had a stereotypical view that men who do this must be wierd or gay. How wrong could I have been??
Having spoken to Ian , it is clear that after many years of lonliness and guilt, this site has helped him to accept who he is and what he is and now he feels at peace with himself for the first time in his life. So yes I certainly would advise you show your wife this brilliant site.
Good luck

[Raynefall]

That's good to hear. Makes it so that people like me who haven't come out to our SO maybe have a little more drive to. I know I want to.

[MonicaTC]

Applause for you, Jayne. If only more people were as readily openminded as you. I notice that alot from folks across the pond. As always, Americans can learn something from you Brits :). Hugs