Accidental unwanted date...?

[JenniferZ2009]

Today was one of those days that you realize you have reached a new level of your transition.

I walked past this cool shop that is relted to my old job so i popped in and aked about job openings. One thing leads to another and im having coffee across the streat with one of the guys who was there. I thought this was a impromptu interview since we were talking about my experience and he seamed really interested. So after a long talk about milling machines he asks me if I'm hungry and then he mentions that a movie is playing that is related to our conversation.

This is were things are different fora girl then a guy. If you are a guy and your interviewer askes you if you want to grab some food after the coffee then your interview is going real good. But for a girl it can be much different I found out. We ended up on teh other side of town in his car going to a movie. At this time I'm wondering if i just done ****ed up adn sure enough he mentions that a friend of his is "looking for a girlfriend" and he is looking straight at me. Im like sorry im already dating a guy (half truth- 2 dates and counting).

So needles to say conversation from him stopped and no dinner afterward and he says to me as he drops me off at my apt. "good luck with your job search". I then realized I never even asked him if he worked there!!!!

I was freaked out at that point, but now I'm like "wow...I pulled that off????" I haven't had on any makeup all day (woke up late for school and was tired as hell), was wearing tank top from day before (woke uplate and never changed) with a sweatshirt. I was stuck on the other side of town with no transportation but him (would have been 2-3 hour walk), no makeup, and haven't shaved since morning and it was 10pm at this time.

It is one of those important things to be able to role with the punches and be prepared to deal with the unexpected shit that happens in life.

[Gina X]

Sounds like you had a close escape there, better luck next time !!

[Cynthia Anne]

I'm glad you got out of there with no more damage then your ego hurt! You can thank the jerk later for teaching you a hard lesson! So keep your head up girl! You are speacial and you inspire me! Hugs!

[Jay Cee]

Scary! Glad you are unscathed.

[Rianna Humble]

I'm really glad that you came out of what could have been a very difficult situation unscathed, but it also shows that you are comfortable enough in yourself to be taken for a cis-woman even after a day without makeup etc.

Good lesson learned and thank you for sharing it with us.

[Pythos]

I'm sorry, I have never had an impromptu or even full on job interview where I was asked for coffee, or going anywhere other than the intended job site for a "continuation" of an interview. That would creep me out in either guy or fem mode. Have you seen the Movie Das Boot. Do you recall the loud cry of "Alarm!" just before the dive bell is set off. Well that is what would be ringing in my mind had an interviewer, male or female asked me to do something outside the prospective job.

This guy did a creepy maneuver no matter which way you cut it.

[Melody Moore]

I have to agree with Pythos here, I would have felt very uncomfortable beyond being asked to have coffee across the street.

Dinner, Movies? Now this was certainly getting personal & more like a date & well away from anything to do with interviewing
you for a job. Never in my life have I had any prospective employer do this type of thing before I got a job. However I did have
an odd experience with one employer who employed me as a graphic artist for his printing business long before I ever started
my transitioned who spoilt me a bit. Before I spent my first day at work he gave me $1000 for travel expenses & organised my
accommodation in a top hotel in Sydney, gave me an address of one of Australia's leading graphic arts studios & told me to go
& spend 2 weeks there with a friend of his who was the CEO, but it was all to gain an insight into such a high level design studio.

[JenniferZ2009]

Yeah, this as definitly anew one for me. I called one of my girlfriends up after and was like "what the **** did I do?????" that was seriously the most stupid thing I have done in a long time. For some reason the alarm feeling did not get huge until I as in his car and I relized I have never been to this part of seattle.

I have been in situations like this before and they were always teh start of great things. But that was when I was a guy adn I have not experience them for a long time. Very dangerous thing to do.

[Areyan]

how very naive... this is basic 101 for girls... even trans girls should know better than to fall for that cheap line. good luck next time and be BLOODY careful!!! for goodness sake this man could have raped you and beaten you within an inch of your life.

what's the rule? be wary at all times of strangers offering dinner and/or a movie where a date has not been established AND!~~ the most important rule:

NEVER EVER EVER EVER get into a car with a man you just met.

got that? good, now start being a smart girl and this won't happen again. most bio females aren't stupid enough to do this even if they're desperate for a guy.

[Aprilrain]

I'm glad your still alive sweetie! your obviously very passable and pretty now its time to start cultivating your inner BITCH. Shit happens it sounds like you learned your lesson and with no real harm done.

[JenniferZ2009]

Thanks everyone for yor concern. I posted this last night after I got back and had not really had time to lert teh fullness of it sink in. Iv'e been zen cleaning all day to deal with this. Im still feeling a bit shaken about it.

Lukely I have been in situations like this before in the Navy overseas (thailand and singapore) and put up a i'm alot more trouble than its worth attitude. He asked me about how it is was being on a ship full of men and I said I bet them off whith a stick whenever they got upity. Also I was txting with a friend almost constantly once I realized I done ****ed up.

One of the worse things was that I started feeling droggy and sick on the drive back and almost had him pull over so I could get out. It was at this point I remembered I had nothing to eat all day and have not been in a car for alomost 3 months. Still, IO had to fight it off and I feel kinda worn out today. I was in teh sun all day yesteday (my body is so red).

Thanks everyone for letting me talk about this. I really need to process this. I almost feel like im going to start crying, I have no idea what teh **** was going on..............also he had better be the owner or at least work there or else I am going to freak out later.

[Melody Moore]

this is basic 101 for girls... even trans girls should know better than to fall for that cheap line.

I have already discovered that guys are just as dirty & sleazy with me as any other girl, even if they know I am trans.

There are quite a few guys out there that think that because you are trans then you are a sIut who just wants sex.
Recently I was taking to a girl I know who works in the 'adult industry' & she was telling me some horror stories about
some transsexual escorts she knew. And they are regularly beaten up by clients who like rough play. So God have mercy
on the soul of some creep who ever tried to abuse or hurt me.

Also I have kept an experience I had recently with a former male house under wraps because what happened still upsets
me. About 2 & 1/2 weeks ago a former male house-mate who has a problem with alcohol came home 'half cut' one night
after being at the hotel. This guy told some of the other girls here that he 'absolutely loves trannies'. He has also admitted
that he is bisexual. Anyway, when he arrived home I was sitting on the back steps enjoying a cup of coffee & a cigarette.
This guy had been trying his hardest to get into my pants for about month, but I told him many times I wasn't interested.

Anyway, first he was bragging about winning the meat tray again in the mid-week raffles they hold there. I also asked him
a question about a trailer he bought earlier that day which he was intending to put his music gear into & his 10 foot boat on
top so he could tow it behind a Winnebago (campervan) he just bought. However the trailer was only 4 foot long & it was
easy to see it didn't suit his needs. Anyway he replied that is was going to require some modifications. The next thing he
explodes verbally, saying "I don't have to answer to you, why do you want to know everything?" I said I was just wondering
how he was going to fit everything into this trailer, including his boat. Anyway he says, "I've got more money than anyone
else here, I am the most talented person here, I am better than anyone else here, you are all losers". Meanwhile my other
house-mate was inside cooking her dinner. I could see her easily & we had eye contact with each other. she was rolling her
eyes to me at the stupid comments he was making. This guy was also on his final warning with the owner over his drinking
& his lack of respect for other house-mates. So this already shaping up as being the final nail in his coffin that would get him
evicted. It was only a matter of time before the owner would hear all his yelling & come down to see what was going on.

Anyway, then he started getting really personal & started up with the 'tranny insults' which he aimed directly at me. I won't
repeat them because he said some pretty nasty stuff. Anyway, I told him to "F**k off, everyone was sick of his crap". So he
started to walk away, but suddenly he turned & came charging straight back at me. Immediately I stood up & as he went to
grab or push me, I turned 180 degrees as I threw my arm around his neck & locked him up into a sleeper hold & also jammed
his neck against the edge of the door frame. I also used the door frame to lock myself into a position where he couldn't move
me from the position I had him in. So I had him completely subdued & in a position where I could hold him restrained for hours
if necessary that he had no way out of. So the only thing he could do was try to grab me on the crotch. Luckily everything
is tucked away nicely down there, but I will never forget the feeling of his fingers groping at me down there. Eventually the
owner arrived because when this scuffle broke out, Cara, my house-mate ran straight up to get the owner. He soon arrived
& was telling me to let him go. I said there was no way I was going to let him go while this creep's hand was on my crotch &
he was trying to hurt me. The owner looked closer & then seen what he was trying to do to me so the owner said this creep
'Let go of her crotch you filthy b*st*rd, she has got you in a check-mate, if you don't stop now she will put you to sleep'.

The owner who is a good friend of mine knows about another incident where I choked out a guy who assaulted two gay guys
in front of patrons & the manager at a local Mcdonalds restaurant. This incident was caught on CCTV & the homophobe that
I restrained & choked out was later charged with two counts of assault. Police told the victims (who I also know now) that it
was the funniest thing they ever seen. I was also thanked by everyone in the Maccas restaurant, including the manager for my
intervention in the matter. A bouncer at the night club next door also seen the whole incident & encouraged me to do security
work. Thanks, but no thanks.

Anyway, lucky for me I have done lots martial arts training, including unarmed combat training, so I am capable of defending
myself better than others. But still I would never stick my neck out & put myself in a situation of risk unless it was absolutely
necessary. In the first incident I just mentioned I had no choice, I was forced to react. In the second incident a window of
opportunity presented itself, so I took the opportunity to take control of a situation where two gay guys had already been
assaulted. But getting into these types of situations is not very 'lady-like' & both incidents had a profound affect on me later
which I had to consult my psychologist about later. I was told that I did the right thing both times & didn't over-step any of
the limitations to legally being able to defend myself & the other people involved. So I am grateful that I have the discipline
not to go too far. One of my biggest fears is killing someone in self-defence & having to face a manslaughter charge because
that is something I will have to try & live with, but sometimes what do you do when you find yourself in such a situation?

Things could easily go from bad to worse in situations like this so the bottom-line is NEVER put yourself in any situation
where you could easily become vulnerable unless there is absolutely no other way out of it. I always maintain the best
way to defend yourself is to always use your head - always consider the risks & have various contingency plans to get
out of a tight spot. including being put on the spot by some very smart, but very sleazy guys.

[JenniferZ2009]

So im feeling a bit better today. My apartment got really clean yesterday trying to deal with everything.

I feel that what I was able to grok from this is that I am now at teh point in my life were people do not see me as a man anymore. I have had a hard time accepting that people did not automatically know I was trans or at some point in life a guy. Iv'e had close friends tell me im hot but I never believed them (still dont totally, maybee cute). This kinda falls back to teh original topic of this thread was that I have reached a new stage in my transition. I can no longer live and act like I did before. This is the new reality for me is that I am a woman in a mans world. We are sucseptable to all kinds of crap in the same enviroment that men thrive in. I cant rely on my strength (my nephew can pin me down now). I have the body and musscle mass of a female who once was stronge. Ive been on hormones for a year and there is no way I could ever put someone in a choke hold now. I have to be smart, I have to look at things from a new perspective for my safety.

[Aprilrain]

You bring up a good point women do have to approach the world in a very different way than men for their own safety and us TS girls have a much shorter period of time to learn in than natal woman. You are a smart and sexy woman and thats what you have to use now. Some times bad things happen to good people, this was not one of those times. Instead you learned a very necessary lesson about life and about yourself. Next time you will not make the same mistake! I think the essence of life is learning how to turn your liabilities into assets. Before I started transition (hormones specifically) I had more physical strength but I lacked courage probably because I wasn't being true to myself so instead of looking at what you may now lack look at all you've gained. I'm sure it's a lot or you never would have made it this far!

[Jay Cee]

Again, Jennifer, I am glad you are physically undamaged. If it makes you feel better, I think a lot of us have learned something from this. For me, it is that maybe I need to take self defence classes that are designed primarily for taking down a larger / stronger opponent. My turn may come some day, and I would like to be prepared.

[Melody Moore]

For me, it is that maybe I need to take self defence classes that are designed primarily for taking
down a larger / stronger opponent. My turn may come some day, and I would like to be prepared.

That is a very good idea, good martial arts training will teach you to exploit your opponent's weaknesses which is
very handy if you are a weaker person. Even small women & children can bring down a large adult male if they have
the proper techniques & skills & this is exactly what I exploited in the two situations I described earlier. You don't
have to be a strong person to restrain someone in a 'sleeper hold' if it's done right. I also recommend learning a couple
of different styles of martial arts or the most effective self defence. I recommend learning something like Jujistsu or Judo
for it's grappling, take down & restraining techniques. But also recommend something like 'Wing Chung' Kung Fu for self
defence against strikes. They teach a technique called 'sticky hands' which is very useful for blocking strikes, but is also
really good for it's close quarters fighting technique. It teaches you to use elbows as well as your hands or fists for strikes
etc. You can really mess someone up with a good elbow strike to the temple region of the head. 'Wing chung' is also the
same fighting art that teaches the 'One inch punch', made famous by Bruce Lee. This is a fighting art that can teach you
to generate power in strikes right from the rotation of the hips. Some of the oldest & most frail looking Chinese people are
the best exponents in this particular fighting style. So it serves our needs when it comes to our loss of physical strength.