Perhaps this might be inspirational

[Katesback]

Hi there everyone. As many of you know I am often blunt and the sort of person that likes results and not talk. As I have said before transition is a VERY difficult thing that only can be done successfully with a 100% effort. Anything less and it's not a pretty story. Baby steps and years of posturing and back and forth takes it's toll on people. As I said results are all I really care about.

So whats the reward? Well after countless amounts of crap one can possibly come out shining with a new life and new passions. My biggest passion is rollerderby and I thought I would share a link to a 10 min. movie of a recent game. My derby name is Katie wich is rare because most derby girls have special names. Prior to changing teams I had a special name but outgrew it. It was Snip-Snip and the number was -2. That was when I was working for trans people and thought it would be an inspirtation but now its my time.
There is a huge hit I do rite at the beginning after it says "let the games begin". Perhaps the video will illustrate why I am no nonsense and to the point!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ivt7dHPDhY

Transition is a time that in my opinon the faster you get through it and on to a normal life the better, unless of course you like being a tranny. I am not here to help trannys, only women.

Katie

[Zenith]

There seem to be several trans-women into rollerderby. Penny Zee of Debutante Brawl comes to mind, she documented her transition on youtube and now talks a lot about rollerderby.

http://www.youtube.com/user/debutantebrawl

[Jay Cee]

Sooooo.... I should transition so I can beat up other women on a roller derby rink? ;)

[Aprilrain]

Transition is a time that in my opinon the faster you get through it and on to a normal life the better

I absolutely agree, I wish there were a way to speed up the process like hormone boost 3000 or a hair stretching machine, I think I put mine right next to the board stretcher out in the shop.

I am glad that you have done what it takes to be who you are so you can do the things you love, that is inspirational. Now roller derby, sorry but yawn. I cant stand watching sports.

[noeleena]

Hi, Kate,

Im going to ask here how long do you think , it should take for one once they have decided to see a G P endo get H R T & have S R S . & live as a woman, not takeing in to account wife, kids , grand kids, friends ,work ,

now im not a transexual or dresser. & never was a as said tranny. tho for some thats okay.. we'll look at two years H R T then say S R S just the basics .if you dont have the money,

...noeleena...

[gretchen2]

All talk and no walk does not fly with me either. I want to see progress everyday but that is not realistic, sometimes you have to stand still for awhile and just let life take you were it wants to take you, living on life’s terms. You do have to be pro-active, it is so important in transition and if you just sit on your ass waiting for something to happen you will be sorely disappointed and as you say Kate, stuck in tranny land and tranny land sucks!

[Katesback]

Ok so you ask me how long should it take from HRT to SRS. I took a year and a month. Then add one year after that for FFS.

I never went to a therapist except for two days before SRS where I sat and drew pictures of men and women and told him I thought it was stupid I was talking to him. I did not see a therapist because I did not need to pay someone to agree with what I already knew.
If anything a therapist whould have been better after SRS because as I have said that is when you REALLY start transition. Take for example another post where the girl is trying to date but facing rejection. Thats just one example of what it is like post srs and perhaps a therapist would be helpful getting through that stuff.

I dont expect people to follow my path but I have NO patience for the trans person that beats around the bush because of 10000 reasons. I have seen the turmoil that takes pace with the person that is a girl at night and boy durring the day. Hell the end result is really just a sophisticated crossdresser when ya think about it.

As the Nike add says "Just Do It".









Hi, Kate,

Im going to ask here how long do you think , it should take for one once they have decided to see a G P endo get H R T & have S R S . & live as a woman, not takeing in to account wife, kids , grand kids, friends ,work ,

now im not a transexual or dresser. & never was a as said tranny. tho for some thats okay.. we'll look at two years H R T then say S R S just the basics .if you dont have the money,

...noeleena...

[Inna]

What exactly is to sit on someones ass, or be proactive? Each day rolls in as a gift, our perception of such day is up to us, but not the conscious self, which relentlessly thinks up the schemes, guilt, remorse, or false sense of happiness. In fact, after 41 years of "go get em" life, achieve the unachievable I found my self naked, empty, and lost. Do you think transition will get you happiness? Happiness is an illusive state of conscious mind, that of ego world, and often is mistaken for joy.

"Be your self" not achieve, seek truth with every cell of your body, with every breath, with every heart beat. Truth does lead to love of one self, but you don't have to show results, or excel, or all the achievement crap we have been thought by guilty minds of our teachers whom relentlessly transfer what was so preciously pounded into their heads.
Within love lies the answer, not love of things but love of ones self as pure, beautiful soul, unbound by tradition, religion, or guilt.

Sit on your ass if you honestly feel you should, run the derby, race horses, cook, walk, talk, but do or don't within you own feeling of calm. Do not push for success, there is no such, believe me I know. I had a life many would dream of, countless riches and glitzy stuff, and all it was, I realized never truly mine when was gone. This was the first step to truth, the second was humbling my self to that of a broken man, who just realized he worshiped false profits. Then came the revelation of immaculate love from those I hoped but never thought could love so much. In them lies the love and happiness of eternity. This was not an achievement but a gift I have received long time ago, but never knew I had.

Be who you are, take life as a gift it is, and every day as a blessing, after all, there will be a day which shall never come and at the end the joy of life will be that you have lived it and hopefully found your self within it.

[Jorja]

Well to some point, I do agree with Kate. Once you have determined that transition is for you, you need to go into it full steam ahead. You need to be 100% sure this is the path YOU need to take and take all the steps necessary for you to come out the other side a woman.
The more you sit around undecided taking those baby steps, the more doubt and confusion creep into the process. As I said in a previous posting, you can sit around and whine, wish, and want till the cows come home but you will never move forward. If you have done the ground work and know just how far you need to go, whether it is just transition or all the way through SRS, keep moving forward until you have reached your goal.

[Sophora]

Well to some point, I do agree with Kate. Once you have determined that transition is for you, you need to go into it full steam ahead. You need to be 100% sure this is the path YOU need to take and take all the steps necessary for you to come out the other side a woman.
The more you sit around undecided taking those baby steps, the more doubt and confusion creep into the process. As I said in a previous posting, you can sit around and whine, wish, and want till the cows come home but you will never move forward. If you have done the ground work and know just how far you need to go, whether it is just transition or all the way through SRS, keep moving forward until you have reached your goal.

I wish my problem was that I am sitting around undecided but it isn't. I would love to do hrt and srs(yes I am 99.9% positive now), however my problem is that I am strapped for cash. I can't possibly afford to transition with what I am making now. If I could afford it, I would be living my life full-time as a woman(I am making strides tho as I am buying more clothes and doing more feminine stuff.) I had a job interview today and it went very well. Hopefully I will get it and continue my trek full steam.

[Stephenie S]

I wish my problem was that I am sitting around undecided but it isn't. I would love to do hrt and srs(yes I am 99.9% positive now), however my problem is that I am strapped for cash. I can't possibly afford to transition with what I am making now. If I could afford it, I would be living my life full-time as a woman(I am making strides tho as I am buying more clothes and doing more feminine stuff.) I had a job interview today and it went very well. Hopefully I will get it and continue my trek full steam.

Dear Sophora,

Who is standing infront of you demanding money so you can transition. Just DO it girl.

Hormone therapy? Cheap, cheap, cheap. You can find the money in your couch. $8 a month will get you started.

Yes, all the surgery will end up costing big bucks. Electrolysis? Pay weekly or monthly or whatever you can. Many electrologists will cut you a break for cash. Clothes? Salvation Armey. GoodWill Industries. But GET STARTED. Quit standing around wishing and hoping. DO it.

S

[Katesback]

I swear I have met countless trans people that "dont have the money" but drive around in a nice car, have expensive hobbies, ect. ect. I will use one of my favorite examples. I know a trans person that had the cash for surgery but brought a car. I remember talking to her saying that she might want to buy a nice used car and save the money for surgery, but like so many trans people she knew it all.

Guess what today she is suffering because she does not have the money for surgery.
Another girl I met was bitching about not having the money for surgery as she smoked a ciggarette.
Another favorite is a girl I know that has a really good presentation and would otherwise fit in as a normal woman but she drives a nice car, has choosen to be an activist, and has no money for SRS. She is a lesbian and is frustrated because no lesbian will date her. DUHHHHHHH she has a penis and is a tranny activist. Newsflash. Lesbians like women with vaginas and are women (not some tranny). For that matter straight men like women with vaginas. Surprise!!!!!!!
I could go on and on. I mean really. Guess my statment that only a very very small few trans people are really real is actually a true statment.

My only response to that is they are not serious. I mean a real woman would do anything to be a woman.

Katie

[Sophora]

Dear Sophora,

Who is standing infront of you demanding money so you can transition. Just DO it girl.

Hormone therapy? Cheap, cheap, cheap. You can find the money in your couch. $8 a month will get you started.

Yes, all the surgery will end up costing big bucks. Electrolysis? Pay weekly or monthly or whatever you can. Many electrologists will cut you a break for cash. Clothes? Salvation Armey. GoodWill Industries. But GET STARTED. Quit standing around wishing and hoping. DO it.

S

I have been starting to get the clothes at second hand shops lately(well when I have money). Where do I start the hormones for 8 dollars? See it is this kind of stuff that I don't know. If I know where I get hormones without a doctor's prescription(and are the phytoestregons safe?) an 8 dollars I would started already.

The money issue isn't for all of that it is the doctor's appointments(the main problem is I don't have insurance), therapist, and the electolysis. See I really need to find some of these places and start doing it.

I am kind of a noob at this sorry.

[Melody Moore]

Sophora, don't feel pressured to the point that you would think about self-medicating with phytoestregons
& other dodgy drugs bought through online drug stores. Stick to your plan of seeing a proper gender therapist
& doctor because the risks to your health are not worth it. Hormone therapy needs to be monitored through
regular blood tests to best protect your heath & give you maximum benefit for feminisation.

[Aprilrain]

Sophora, you will only get "cheap hormones" through a doctor (Endo). you will only get to see a doctor through a letter from your therapist, you will only get a letter from a therapist after probably a minimum of three months. So the "cheap" hormones actually have a long wait and big up front cost. This was my experience. Don't waste your precious resources on herbs they will not work.

[AKAMichelle]

My only response to that is they are not serious. I mean a real woman would do anything to be a woman.

Katie

I think this one statement does define the serious and not serious.

[Felicity71]

I could go on and on. I mean really. Guess my statment that only a very very small few trans people are really real is actually a true statment.

My only response to that is they are not serious. I mean a real woman would do anything to be a woman.

Katie

Lol you sound like a fundamentalist preacher. I refuse to have SRS until my brother FtMs can get easy one operation erect sensation penises. Whos with me!!

Going by your analogy 'Those men aren't real unless they have a penis.'

Seriously though, not every brain type thinks the same. Anyway Ive been described by a gay friend that im the most half hearted trans person hes ever met. So my views dont really matter.

[Kelsy]

Ok who here is going to lend me the 70 + thousand dollars to get the surgeries I need.
I don't want to go out as a totally visable tranny and that is what I will be of I don't
take steps to help in passing as a woman and when you don't have the funds it becomes
a situation where you need to save but you can't save if you don't have a job
because you look like a tranny now call those excuses but there are certain realities.

I'm not driving no swank car, unless you consider an 02 Ford Econoline van with 139,000 a fine ride. I don't smoke I cant afford it
I'm trying to save as much as I can. Being self employed in the construction field has it's difficulties when moving from Male to Female,
I'm looking very inbetweenish these days and customers are giving me double takes.



Secondly some have a very extroverted personality where others are more reserved
I will never be like kate but I am no less a woman! I have moved ahead with Therapy
Doctors and hormones, laser hair removal and I chart my changes and work a plan, I have goals
to get where I know I should be! Now that is the first 6 months for me. I'm moving forward
with all the resorces available to me. I hope to see even more progress in the next 6 months

Cash in hand would speed the process. My heart is in it But I find that support helps
I have always recoiled at having to measure up!! I do what I can in my own way!

Kelsy

[Melody Moore]

Ok who here is going to lend me the 70 + thousand dollars to get the surgeries I need.
You don't NEED $70k for surgery, and if you think you need multiple procedures then I think you are trying to bite
off more than you can chew. My GRS is the most important thing out of all the surgical procedures available, so
my focus is coming up with $21k to cover my surgery, airfares & accommodation in Thailand. If I feel that I need
ffs or breast augmentation surgery, well those things can come later. There are no rules that say that you need
everything done at once & besides if you consider all the pain involved would you really be prepared to deal with
al of that in one hit? I don't think so & besides I doubt you could get a surgeon to do all that work in one go.

[Sophora]

I swear I have met countless trans people that "dont have the money" but drive around in a nice car, have expensive hobbies, ect. ect. I will use one of my favorite examples. I know a trans person that had the cash for surgery but brought a car. I remember talking to her saying that she might want to buy a nice used car and save the money for surgery, but like so many trans people she knew it all.

Guess what today she is suffering because she does not have the money for surgery.
Another girl I met was bitching about not having the money for surgery as she smoked a ciggarette.
Another favorite is a girl I know that has a really good presentation and would otherwise fit in as a normal woman but she drives a nice car, has choosen to be an activist, and has no money for SRS. She is a lesbian and is frustrated because no lesbian will date her. DUHHHHHHH she has a penis and is a tranny activist. Newsflash. Lesbians like women with vaginas and are women (not some tranny). For that matter straight men like women with vaginas. Surprise!!!!!!!
I could go on and on. I mean really. Guess my statment that only a very very small few trans people are really real is actually a true statment.

My only response to that is they are not serious. I mean a real woman would do anything to be a woman.

Katie

OK I didn't see this earlier so I think I will respond now.

I like how you can sit there and preach while knowing nothing and nothing about my situation. I don't drive a nice car. In fact I am 4 to 5 months overdue for an oil change as well as needing some major work done on it. I am behind on my rent and normal bills. I am doing everything in my power that I can to become a real women. The first thing I am doing is increasing my earning power as well as decreasing my expeditures.

I wish I had money that I can do things with. I have dropped my expensive habits. The only allowance I allow myself now is girl stuff and that is far between.

I am doing what I can to become a girl. I am sorry that I don't have the money you obviously have just laying around. What should I do? ***** myself out? Sell Drugs? Rob a bank?

Thanks I feel like shit now.

[Kelly DeWinter]

........ unless of course you like being a tranny. I am not here to help trannys, only women.

Katie

One of the most bigotted statements i've read on this site. It's as if you are using tranny or transgendered as a slur. There are too many people who have gone thru the whole process of transition and then have regretted it or have suicided afterwords. Theres a good reason NOT to go 'full steam" even after you have made the decision to transition. There is a reson doctors suggest a phased transition.


.........
As the Nike add says "Just Do It".

Nike say's "Just Do It" because thay sell shoes. SRS is not like a shoe, you can take off one pair of shoes for another every day, and you cannot chage your mind every day with your gender


Sophora, don't feel pressured to the point that you would think about self-medicating with phytoestregons
& other dodgy drugs bought through online drug stores. Stick to your plan of seeing a proper gender therapist
& doctor because the risks to your health are not worth it. Hormone therapy needs to be monitored through
regular blood tests to best protect your heath & give you maximum benefit for feminisation.

Melody and I rarely see eye to eye, but she is 100% right about going about it the right way.


Lol you sound like a fundamentalist preacher. I refuse to have SRS until my brother FtMs can get easy one operation erect sensation penises. Whos with me!!

Going by your analogy 'Those men aren't real unless they have a penis.'

Seriously though, not every brain type thinks the same. Anyway Ive been described by a gay friend that im the most half hearted trans person hes ever met. So my views dont really matter.

ahhh yes. She does sound like the Rapture preacher Harold Camping. And look how many times he has been wrong, and the number of his followers who's lives have been ruined because of his preaching.


And BEFORE i am thrown on the fire and barbequed. These are just my opinions.

[Kelsy]

You don't NEED $70k for surgery, and if you think you need multiple procedures then I think you are trying to bite
off more than you can chew. I doubt you could get a surgeon to do all that work in one go.

Melody Dear,
I never said everything at once!! LoL Did I? oh God no! I would start with a face lift
that's it and then move on to a bit of bone work you know the jaw line is a bit hard and the brow bossing has got to go
then well, let's see! I must get my Fred Flintstone upper lip shortened there isn't a woman in the world with that kind of
distance between her upper lip and the bottom of her nose! Did I say nose sure I need a cute lil curled up thing to replace
my honker way to big! Eyelid lift, neck lift, hair transplants, skin resurfacing, A little putty and paint . Then of course there is
the breast aug and finally we get below the belt!! On second thought 70gs will not be enough better make that 100 and book
me a four month stay at the best plastic emporium!!

Hugs Kelsy

[Melody Moore]

On second thought 70gs will not be enough better make that 100 and book
me a four month stay at the best plastic emporium!!
Kelsy dear, $70k is more than enough & that is also going to the top surgeons in the world in Thailand.

I also think you would come home from Thailand with lot's of change in you pockets if you took $100k
& went over there & lived high on the hog like a queen for a year. I get about $1600 a month & that
pays my rent, all my bills, fuel for my car etc., hormones, make up etc, I can still go to the op shops
& buy a few items of clothing every couple of weeks. I buy 'no-name products' when I am doing my
grocery shopping & buy my fruit & vegies where they are cheapest at the local farmer's markets. I also
buy meat from a local wholesale butchers. And I smoke roll-your-own tobacco for cigarettes because
I can't quit my smoking habit yet. It seems like I go to lot's of trouble to save money, but when it comes
to doing my shopping, it really takes me very little more time than if I bought everything in one supermarket.

All these things I do to save money equates into saving hundreds of dollars each month which can be used
for my other necessities with my transitioning. I am hoping to find a job as soon as I get some treatment
work done to remove my tattoos while I am studying so I can start saving for my GRS. My point is every
little thing you do to save money adds up in the end & that is a point I want to stress for those here who
think that transitioning is completely unaffordable.

[Sophora]

My point is every
little thing you do to save money adds up in the end & that is a point I want to stress for those here who
think that transitioning is completely unaffordable.

Thank you so very much(no sarcasm here at all). This has given me more hope.

[Zenith]

Seriously Kate, it's not a race. I have no idea why you say you want to be inspirational, and then you make people feel badly about themselves. Yes a classic Harry Benjamin transsexual will eventually have SRS. But so often the road is fraught with self discovery, and financial hurdles. People could well argue that you rushed into it...

[Jay Cee]

...I never went to a therapist except for two days before SRS where I sat and drew pictures of men and women and told him I thought it was stupid I was talking to him. I did not see a therapist because I did not need to pay someone to agree with what I already knew.
If anything a therapist whould have been better after SRS because as I have said that is when you REALLY start transition. Take for example another post where the girl is trying to date but facing rejection. Thats just one example of what it is like post srs and perhaps a therapist would be helpful getting through that stuff...

Oh, I suspect that a lot of people here will be well served by a therapist or a counsellor. Not all of us have known all of our lives that we are walking around in a body with the wrong gender. Does that make us any more or less female? I doubt it.

While I understand your motives, Kate, your methodology leaves something to be desired. Pushing people, and calling them names... pretty harsh. It reminds me of a parent who pushes their kid too damned hard, in the hopes that it will make them better at whatever it is that they are doing. That method tends to backfire more often than not.

I am happy for you, Kate. You are living your dream, and that is awesome. :thumbsup:

[Jorja]

If you are considering transition and possibly SRS, here is a very good site on how to plan for it.

http://www.tsroadmap.com/start/transsexual-transition.html

[Melody Moore]

Pushing people, and calling them names... pretty harsh. It reminds me of a parent who pushes their kid too
damned hard, in the hopes that it will make them better at whatever it is that they are doing. That method
tends to backfire more often than not.

This is a hard one to call on, personally I think that many parents are too soft on kids today & they lack
the core values that we were given. However having said that, you cannot push children who are having
other issues, especially transgendered or intersexed kids, or other children that have other issues affecting
them. I was born intersexed, surgically corrected, then raised & nurtured to be male. I was forced to spend
all my spare time with my father who also taunted & teased me & punished me if I showed any feminine type
behaviour which did surface a few times during childhood. I got the living crap beat out of me over having a
little leftover makeup on my face around the age of 7 years old. So I grew up as a very shy, timid & repressed
child who was bullied by everyone at school as well as my own father who was the biggest bully of all. I also
developed a bad stuttering problem & had no self-esteem or confidence. I had a terrible time making friends
& socialising.

By about the age of 13-14 my behaviour became very destructive, I use to punch walls, doors cupboards etc, but
this was all because I was really angry at one person - my father! At the age of 16 he tried to belt me up one too
many times, but this time I retaliated & my father wound up with is jaw broken in 3 places as well as a broken nose.

I had been having martial arts lessons for about 2 years since the age of 14, so I eventually learnt to stand up for
myself. However after that I went from one extreme to the other & become a bully myself because I loved to fight
because it made me feel tough & strong & other guys started to really respect me. So my father effectively created
a monster that was male on the outside & a real b!tch on the inside. But I had felt so much shame & guilt over my
feminine side that noone really knew anything about this side of me, especially after I joined the army. I appeared
to everyone around me as a "Man's Man". The only people that come close to having any real understanding about
me or relating to me on an emotional level was other females. But even that didn't add up to most women because
I looked like a guy, but knew females better than they knew themselves which freaked them right out. I never told
them I was transsexual or wanted to transition, instead most thought I was obsessed with women on a sexual level
which wasn't true at all. I envied them & knew that I wanted to be like them from around the age of 15. Now here
I am 33 years later living now happy as a female so all my father's efforts were all in vain to raise me up to be a man.

So yeah Jay Cee, I guess I am the perfect example of how too much pressure can really back-fire & create even more
hell for a child that has had a lot more than most to deal with. as far as I am concerned, my parents should have taken
me straight back to see doctors as soon as I showed any signs of being feminine. Lucky for me, I eventually had a lot
of psycho-therapy which helped me to chip away of the pile of crap that covered all my gender issues. I am just one of
the lucky few to ever have come through something like this. Many don't make it & I know I nearly didn't make it twice.

Looking around this forum, I see a few strong personalities here like Katesback & a few others including Zenith & myself.
But even the strongest people here can sometimes have some issues. I also see the weak personalities here & some of
them are now under my wing. Some people think I have been hard at times in some of my comments towards some people,
while at other times they will see me lending a lot of support to others here, so I do know when to back off.

It takes a balance of 'soft love & tough love' to effectively nurture a child so they have motivation & discipline & are also
happy & at peace with themselves. One thing that dawned on me is that it's near impossible to find peace within yourself,
when others around you are saying 'You have to do this, you must do that'. I know I can feel overwhelmed with that.

We can only share our stories about how things worked for us in the hope we might light up a path
that others might be able to follow. But we must realise that what works for me might not work for you.

[Katesback]

For the record here. I never ever said someone HAD to get SRS. I said that I find it amayzing how many trans people have expensive things and then sit and bitch about not having the money to reach thier goals. I did not say anything about someone that does not want SRS (but then that person is really not TS now are they?). I specifically was talking about people that want something but then sit around and make excuses or decisions that derail those goals.

I realize some people do not have the money whatsoever to get SRS or other expenses that related to transition but hey as long as they are endevoring to be the best they can I see that as a good thing.

As far as me calling people trannys. Well there are people that are just that and thats fine. I personally don't share thier points of view. I am not like them. I am a woman, nothing more and nothing less. This site is the sole remaining link I have to the trans people and my only goal is to possibly help a very small few real serious women to reach thier goals.

For the rest of you. I do not condem your perspective, I simply am not here to help you. You can find support within the countless other trans people.

[arbon]

wow.....I am speechless. How lucky we are to have such awesomeness in our presence. I think you should write a book.

[Aprilrain]

I really don't see why everyone gets so bent about what Kate writes, can't you guys see she does this for entertainment? Which i can totally appreciate BTW Kate.

[Katesback]

Not really for entertainment but it is true that when some get worked up it is funny.

Perhaps you bring up another harsh reality here. If someone is getting bent out of shape from what someone says on a website then it is no wonder that they are not transitioning because the big bad world has a hell of a lot more difficult challenges to face!


I really don't see why everyone gets so bent about what Kate writes, can't you guys see she does this for entertainment? Which i can totally appreciate BTW Kate.

[Felicity71]

wow.....I am speechless. How lucky we are to have such awesomeness in our presence. I think you should write a book.

What would be a good title for it?

[Pattie O]

Whatever floats your boat

[Hope]

A video of you knocking women down is supposed to be inspirational how? I guess it depends on what you are trying to inspire us to be...

Honestly, I don't see how it is you can, with a strait face, suggest you are here to help anyone. You come for attention. Which is why you posted the video.

You regularly insult and belittle anyone who doesn't walk this path the same way you supposedly did, or say others must.

You say you value results. That is fine I suppose. The problem is that you have no right to define what someone else's results look like. Perhaps if you valued people instead of "results" you would recognize that one person's "results" are another person's "just talk." For example - who cares if you have a vagina if you are such a hideous person that you treat the members of your own community with such disdain? That is not a positive "result" in my book. But it clearly is for you. And that is fine. Just stop pretending that you have somehow achieved what the rest of us aspire to and that we should all look up to you.

And finally - using "Tranny" as a slur is not cool. You know better. It is one of those words that you can only use if you are a tranny, pro-tranny non-tranny, or a bigot. So which are you?

[Kelsy]

What would be a good title for it?

" In the presence of awesomeness" LOL

[Kelly DeWinter]

As far as me calling people trannys. Well there are people that are just that and thats fine. I personally don't share thier points of view. I am not like them. I am a woman, nothing more and nothing less. This site is the sole remaining link I have to the trans people and my only goal is to possibly help a very small few real serious women to reach thier goals.

For the rest of you. I do not condem your perspective, I simply am not here to help you. You can find support within the countless other trans people.

so let me get this straight, you were never transgendered ?,a transvestite? ,or a tranny ? and your idea of helping is to insult and ridicule anyone who is not on the fast track to transition ? This is seriously the idea of helping people ?

Its more likely that your 'help' is driving away those whom you seek to influence.

How about posting some steps you believe would help someone who is considering transition, or is your only suggestion solely to sell everything and transition ?

There are times when people transition and find that their life has moved on from this site. Most of them are the kindest most compasionate people i've met. they share their life experiences and offer encouragement to others. When they leave this site , they are sorely missed for the person male or female who they are. Rarely have I read a post where my thought would be "Don't let the door hit you in the a** on your way out !"

oh and don't take it personally, i'm just being blunt. I would prefer you stay and offer words of wisdom or bits from your experience post transition.

Have you found life so difficult post-transition, that you slam the very people who may follow ?

What gives ?
...

[Sara Jessica]

Kate, first of all let me say that I am normally on board with your "direct" approach, for lack of a better description.


...but I have NO patience for the trans person that beats around the bush because of 10000 reasons. I have seen the turmoil that takes pace with the person that is a girl at night and boy durring the day. Hell the end result is really just a sophisticated crossdresser when ya think about it.

But now you have hit below the belt very close to home and I'm calling you out on it. Everyone's situation is different. The variables in their lives are different and as such, I sense that you are intelligent enough to understand that there is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to a decision whether or not to transition.

A dear friend of mine once said to me, and to many others, that it felt like she had to "transition or die". Well guess what? She transitioned...and she died. Seems some of those variables I refer to were not considered through a reasonable conclusion and the result was nothing short of devastation.

I'm glad you have "ascended" to a state of being where you can step on those who occupy a valid place in life, both in the TG community and as the women who reside in their hearts & souls. I find it especially ironic that it comes from someone who admittedly made a mockery of the TG experience (snip-snip, -2). You have certainly risen above but does that excuse past behavior?


I mean a real woman would do anything to be a woman.

Perhaps a real woman will take stock of those in her life and realize that perhaps others are more important than she. Her children, her spouse, and family...not to mention career to keep it all together. I have been told by countless others who understand my essence that the middle path that I am on, the path which you show so much disdain for, is one which is no less valid than going down the road towards transition. It is for the sake of everyone I love that I do all I can to accept the strength and inspiration to stay on this road.

Thanks so much for your version of inspiration.

[melissaK]

Totally entertaining thread . . . Vive la differences. Thanks to ALL for your opinions.

[Carole Cross]

Thihgs are alittle slower over here, especialy if you use the NHS, it can take years just to get to your first appointment at a gender clinic. I have heard some girls having to wait up to four years but I think that is due to GP and psychiatrists not understanding or following the correct procedures. NHS guidelines say you have have 2 years of RLE, one of them in employment, before being referred for grs. It can be frustrating waiting for appointments and surgery but they do this to ensure that you are serious about transition and they are not wasting money on surgery which you later regret. They do have the lowest number of transpeople who are unhappy about their transition, so the delays are deliberate and for a reason.

I have heard of some girls who go private and are on hormones for several years before having surgery, they do it at a pace they are happy with. Also cost is another barrier, not everyone draws a large salary and they have to save before being able to afford surgery.

[amielts]

I have seen the turmoil that takes pace with the person that is a girl at night and boy durring the day. Hell the end result is really just a sophisticated crossdresser when ya think about it.

That's making it too simple. In reality, these people do have many practical reasons for having to do that.

[Melody Moore]

That's making it too simple. In reality, these people do have many practical reasons for having to do that.
While I don't always agree with everything Kate says, I do have to agree with her about those who claim to be
female, but go to work or engage in some other public or social activity in their original birth gender as males.

These people haven't adjusted properly to their adopted gender roles & I see this in a couple of 't-girls' in my local
TS support group. Those I am talking about are not new to transitioning either, some girls have been under therapy
& on hormones for more than two years. Even while trying to present as females, everything else about them is male,
I just wrote more about this in a lot more detail here (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?154152-wrongly-transitioned&p=2502097&viewfull=1#post2502097). There really is more to being a real female than taking hormones.

[Katesback]

I can better that. I have met at least two people that had SRS and still were part time women. When I asked one of them one day why that person told me a number of reasons (excuses in my book) and one I did not forget. This person said they did not want to give up their male privledges.

I also know a FtoM that also does the back and forth stuff. I was shocked to learn that this person has yet to start hormones after four years of knowing he/she and recently had the breast removal. Here is the kicker. Now this person goes to work as a girl wearing breast prostetics. Boggles the mind.

If someone has had SRS and still presents a boy they sure as hell made some huge mistakes. Perhaps they followed the "baby steps" approach. If I recall I think I mentioned that transition requires 100% effort and anything less is a mess. Imagine a boy with a vagina who claims to be a girl. Talk about confusing!

Katie






While I don't always agree with everything Kate says, I do have to agree with her about those who claim to be
female, but go to work or engage in some other public or social activity in their original birth gender as males.

These people haven't adjusted properly to their adopted gender roles & I see this in a couple of 't-girls' in my local
TS support group. Those I am talking about are not new to transitioning either, some girls have been under therapy
& on hormones for more than two years. Even while trying to present as females, everything else about them is male,
I just wrote more about this in a lot more detail here (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?154152-wrongly-transitioned&p=2502097&viewfull=1#post2502097). There really is more to being a real female than taking hormones.

[Kelly DeWinter]

This is a reccomended site:
http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/conway.html


This is not my Opinion, but the thoughts from 4 Transgendered gals who had SRS and came to regret it.

http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/TS/Warning.html#Dani



That being said from the same website are postings of gals who sucessfully transitioned.
http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/TSsuccesses/TSgallery1.html

[Jorja]

In my earlier post I used the term "full steam ahead". I apologize if I gave the idea that you should hurry into transition. I should have said something like undaunted determination. Transition is nothing to hurry into. It is ment as a time to allow you to explore and learn about yourself. Sorry.

[Kelsy]

I think one should make steady progress transitioning and a therapist should recognize or at least
question a serious hesitation by the transitioner. That hesitation may be a sign of doubt and
the issues need to be brought out in the open. When being me hurts other people that is when it hurts.
It seems like some here don't take any second thought when the feelings of others are involved.
That to me is basically a male trait!

[Katesback]

That my dear is the sole reason why so many dont transition. Consideration for others. The real FACT about transition is that it is something you have to do and wether it is selfish or not one must go through it with the positives and the negatives. Does it suck? I have not talked to my family in over a year. That is NO corespondence whatsoever. Yes it sucks. It is the price one pays to be who they are. If you cannot come to grips with that thats fine. As I have said only a very small few really ever transition and even far less have SRS. Just the facts of life.

Katie




I think one should make steady progress transitioning and a therapist should recognize or at least
question a serious hesitation by the transitioner. That hesitation may be a sign of doubt and
the issues need to be brought out in the open. When being me hurts other people that is when it hurts.
It seems like some here don't take any second thought when the feelings of others are involved.
That to me is basically a male trait!

[Kelsy]

Thanks kate, your right it sucks and if your not willing to lose everything and everyone in the process then don't
do it .

[Hope]

If someone has had SRS and still presents a boy they sure as hell made some huge mistakes. Perhaps they followed the "baby steps" approach.

Perhaps such a person is just starting to transition.

As I recall, you insist transition doesn't REALLY start until after SRS.

[emmylaughingoctopus]

Well that sure was inspirational. Think I'll call my therapist now and tell them my suicidal ideation is acting up again. Thanks...

[Hope]

Ha!

Thanks Emmy for the reality check. We aren't ALWAYS huge bitches here I promise. Usually it is pretty supportive - there are just a few people you have to learn to ignore.

And welcome to the forum!

[Melody Moore]

Kittykitty, while I personally don't agree with everything the OP says here, you cannot deny the fact
that 'Roller-derby' is a female sport The assertiveness & aggression you might see here are traits that
are not limited to the male gender either. Because I know natal females that want to have combat roles
in the Army. Additionally I also know natal females that are also domineering, fierce & show a great deal
of bravado as well when I was jumping off 300ft cliffs rappelling face-first down cliff faces, or skydiving
out of a perfectly good aeroplane from 13,000-14,000 feet And even diving with sharks out on the Great
Barrier Reef. So does 'macho' type activity really define them as a 'man'? I thought it did once but how
wrong was I? It might have made me feel tough & helped me to overcoming my fears & adrenalin is very
addictive & those that seek this type of a 'rush' are not just males. How about this local girl who appeared
in my local newspaper yesterday morning? who is a perfect example to highlight my main points...

See: Julia's right at home in the treetops (http://www.cairns.com.au/article/2011/05/27/166315_local-news.html).


"I do love it, it’s exhilarating, it fills you full of adrenalin, and it’s physically demanding," she said.

[Melody Moore]

I'm not going to debate this tit for tat, it's the most macho thread I've ever read anywhere.
While I agree with you Kitty this thread has descended into one of the more condescending type
threads, but I don't think it's necessarily macho & if you note the way I replied to your comment,
you should see that this is where I was coming from. There has been condescending remarks from
a number of people from both sides of the fence here, but I ignore this crap & don't let it get to me.

You should also note that I never posted on this topic until I noticed that one of the new girls here
were feeling pressured by some of the comments. See my first post here (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?154031-Perhaps-this-might-be-inspirational&p=2500422&viewfull=1#post2500422). And if you note I replied
after this to offer my own personal advice for overcoming some of the hurdles that stand in our way.