I find it impossible to have "typical" male friendships

[Amanda22]

This is more of an observation that a complaint. Unless the other male knows I crossdress or is transgendered himself, I'm just not interested in developing a friendship. There are two things that stand out to me:

The assumption is that I'm a "typical guy" and I loathe this assumption. I'm so not a "guy's guy". So to not be known as who I truly am means I'm just masquerading and that feels so awful that I cannot do it.
I just don't like typical masculine ways of thinking. Things like viewing women as sexual partners and a "might makes right" attitude when it comes to conflict.


I'm quite happy with my chosen friendships, but I realized that they are all with women or with genetic guys like myself from this forum (who I love dearly). Once I consciously decided last year to stop hiding my trans-ness from the world, pretending to be a "regular guy" ended, thankfully.

[Schatten Lupus]

I've always loathed the thought of having the typical guy friendship. All my guy friends have not been typical guys though. Rather than watching sports and drinking beer, me and one of my friends discuss literature, politics and world events, and things going on in our lives while enjoying wine and a game of chess. Another one of my friends is so similar to me not only in interests, but we could also pass as brothers. We both even have long hair, and we would have both had long goatees had I not shaved mine off some time ago. One of the few differences is that he is not trans in anyways.
Most of my friends, or those people who aren't quite friends but more than an acquaintance, have been women.

[Suzette Muguet de Mai]

I prefer to potter round the garden pruning, or looking at fashion and make a pattern or two to create something or trying different things on. I am no longer interested in football, boxing, martial arts, shooting or fishing. No longer interested in getting drunk or racing cars/bikes. Sorry mates, so not me. Let me try to make something I can wear, yahoo let me go.

[VioletJourney]

I hate typical male friendships. Seems like most of it involves being insecure about your maleness and your sexuality.

[Violetgray]

Ladies, please give it some thought, I think that many of the points of views express here border on misandry. There is nothing wrong with being a guy, liking "guy" things, or being friends with guys. Sometimes I think people view distancing themselves as far from maleness as possible is by default bringing them closer to femaleness. I would disagree though, because I've never seen GG's give all things masculine such a cold shoulder as this.

[Diane Smith]

Refined and sensitive guys are out there. It may take a while to find them in your life, but if you just do the things you want to do and present yourself as you want to be seen, eventually you will find yourself with a circle of friends who appreciate the way you are and behave appropriately when around you. My closest friends, male and female, are people I have met through my professions (TV production/filmmaking early in my life, teaching today) and hobbies (model rocketry, photography) and tend not to have traditional "guy" interests. When together, we spend most of our time talking shop or discussing movies, art, culture, politics and literature, and a lot of typical "male" subjects just don't come up that often. It definitely takes time and patience to assemble such a circle of friends, and I wish there were more of them around, but living in a university town helps. What I still haven't found is a local environment in which I can openly discuss my gender issues, but my occasional forays into the TG scenes in Chicago and Indianapolis at least partially satisfy that need.

- Diane

[abbykins]

Stereotypical guy friendships and actual guy friendships are different things. I never cared for the stereotypical guy friendships. However, for other reasons, I find I have VERY few guy friends. Nothing against guys or guy friendships at all - it just seems like I don't click with guys. I don't know why, but it's probably something to do with myself, not them.