Not taking the opportunity

[Kokoro]

My parents have gone away for the week so I've had ample opportunity over the last few days to get dressed up, put on makeup etc. but I haven't done so at all.

Some people would kill for a week at home dressed in the opposite genders clothes but I've had no desire to do so at all, yet the feelings of wanting to be a girl haven't diminished in their slightest.

Is this normal for a transsexual to not be obsessed with wearing feminine clothes? Is it affirmation that I have a female brain and the want to wear feminine clothing is not much greater than that of a natal female or does it mean I'm not really a transsexual and only want to wear feminine clothes when I feel like it?

I'm confused :straightface:

[Sandra]

Hi Hun

Hope you don't mind me replying, My SO is Nigella and she is quite happy in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, she doesn't have to be dressed up all the time and spends most of her time in trousers and a top. For most TS it's not all out the clothing it is how you feel in yourself.

[Nigella]

Is this normal for a transsexual to not be obsessed with wearing feminine clothes?

I can honestly say that in my case, YES. I am comfortable in trousers and tops, that whilst are female in cut, could be classed as androgenous. I don't have the desire to "glam" up at every opportunity.


Is it affirmation that I have a female brain

That one I can't answer because we are all different. It took me all 47 years to finally accept I was TS. It was when certain things fell into place that I accepted who I was. I knew how comfortabkle I was with all things female, but as for TS, not until things were right.

You are who you are, the clothes do not make you, you.

[iloveps]

i had this same predicament this weekend. I was at home by myself all weekend. but i didnt feel the need to dress as female because i just dont see the point in doing it if all i am doing is sitting on the couch. I see this as a sign i am ts and not a cd, with all due respect to my cd friends. If i am at home for a lazy day i want to spend it in bed, and seeing as there is no particular gender marker for being in bed watching tv i take the path or least resistance and stay in my day to day guy mode so as in case i have to do something. Now if i were full time then it would be different, but why go through all the trouble of getting dressed to go out just to sit at home? The new episode of Dr. Who doesnt care if i am watching it as a guy or girl.

[JenniferZ2009]

For me being a female is not about the clothes. However i generally wont be caught dead in guys clothes unless they look good on me. I will say thought that when I first started transitioning I would lounge around in guy clothes a little bit after I got home from work. But when ever I went anywhere I always went presenting as female (except work). I have been full-time for a year now though and have no need or desire to wear men's clothing.

You need to look inside yourself and see what is in your heart. Being a female is on the inside adn teh clothes can be one way to project who you are on the inside to the outside world.

[PortiaHoney]

For me, it isn't about the clothes. It's about comfort and acceptance.

If you are TS it's about how the world see's and interacts with you and how you "fit".

I transitioned over a year ago and kept some of my favourite guy stuff. Well, it hasn't seen the light of day and no longer lives here. Once my fem wardrobe became functional for everyday wear, I had no need for any of that other clothing.

I also had a revelation the other day. I used to get by by thinking that the world is a big place and my gender was of little consequence, so what did it really matter if I wore a suit or a dress. But that was just so I could continue to exist. Now I just feel like I fit into the world as a woman. Because now my life and being are in tune.

[Jorja]

We often come to this fourm and tell our latest adventure in dressing. That is fine and is both fun and interesting. Being TS is not about what pretty dress we have on or finding just the right wig. It is about being who you are. I have transitioned had SRS for over 20 years now and still like to toss on a pair of jeans and a tee shirt and just bum around. Mind you I do it quite sexily these days ;) .

[Jay Cee]

I posted a similar question a few months ago, Kokoro, and every response was basically "No, you don't need to crossdress in order to be a TS." I wouldn't worry too much about it - you were simply dressing the way you felt comfortable dressing.

[Aprilrain]

When I first started accepting myself I was obsessed with wearing female attire ALL THE TIME! As soon as I got home I put on a skirt, bra and female top (already had the panties on!) I could not wait to get out of my guy clothes or for that matter my girl jeans for a long flowy comfortable skirt. It just felt right wearing my female clothes. My guy clothes (which are all hanging on racks at Goodwill now) were abhorrent to me like Kryptonite. I have kept a few male items for their utilitarian or sentimental value but rarely wear them. Recently I went to Walmart specifically to buy female T shirts that I wouldn't care what happens to them which will make my utilitarian guy wear even more redundant. I'm full time dressing as a female because that is what I am. I can dress it up in an elegant dress or dress it down in my PJs but either way I'm a girl and wear girls clothes. This is just what feels right for me. The last time I put on male pants I felt like I was CDing but without any of the gratification that came with CDing when I was a "guy" wearing women's clothing.
This is my experience NOT my opinion everyone else is entitled to their own experience and opinion

[Rianna Humble]

Hiya Kokoro, I'm sorry, I can't tell you whether or not you are TS - only you can do that.

I can tell you that being TS is not about putting on loads of make-up just to be around the house - I wear makeup whem I go out because I need to, but even there less is more for me.

Like some of the others in this thread, I have donated all of my male clothing to charity, but even then I don't get dolled up to the nines just to spend a quiet day. If I have to go out shopping or something like that, I will throw on a skirt and top or perhaps a denim dress or what have you, but there is no excitement for me in putting on my day clothes unless I am trying to dress to impress when the excitement is more about the impression I will make than the clothes.

For me, being TS is about who you are on the inside and transitioning is about bringing that person out to live in the real world.

I hope some of this helps.

[Hope]

When I had the following realization is when I had to admit that I was TS and not CD:

It really isn't about the clothes. I don't get a huge chubby when I put on any article of clothing. I have 0 clothing fetishes. I might get excited when I slip into a new dress or find something new that fits me well, or put together an outfit that looks good on me - but it isn't a sexual thing at all - it is merely being excited about looking good for a change. But it isn't about the clothes.

What it is about is the social aspect. It is about interacting with others and being seen by others as a woman. If I am spending the day at home alone - I already know I am a woman - I don't have to put on make-up and heels and a dress and breast forms to convince myself. When we are alone, gender is sort of irrelevant. It is everyone else I have to perform for in order to convince them that I am really a woman, in order to get them to interact with me in the way that feels comfortable and makes sense. It still isn't a sexual thing - it is just what makes the world make sense. This isn't a hobby - it isn't about the clothes or the toys, it is a way of interacting with the world.

So "dressing up" alone makes no sense to me. I practice make-up looks alone, and I try on clothes alone to find outfits that work... but getting dressed up to sit around watching TV? To do the laundry? Why?

Sure, I wear women's clothes when I am at home alone - but I wear women's clothes everywhere... I barely own men's clothes anymore.

[Deborah_UK]

I agree with all the responses above, I'm just having a lazy Sunday, in skirt, t-shirt and flip flops. But I guess a lot of the answers are from those who have already gone full time. I know that pre-transition I couldnt wait to get home from work to shed an image that was abhorrant to me, but unless I was actually going out again, I certainly wouldn't "glam" up.

These days, I cant wait to get home to shed my heels and put on my flip flops!

[TerryTerri]

With me, besides the internal component most have commented about, I also find my HRT plays a significant role. I KNOW when I am not taking my HRT, my desires to dress in femme are much stronger. While I am on HRT, not so much. I deduce that, for me, being on HRT greatly reduces the internal fracture and stress of my gender dysphoria and the compulsion and "need" to dress as female is greatly lessened. However, without HRT the internal fracture and stress comes back and I 'need' to dress in femme more.
That's not to say I don't enjoy dressing in femme while on HRT, it is just now much less of a have to and much more a want to!

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Kokoro...

Hope really nailed it...the "Clothes" are just clothes... coming to grips with being transgendered, especially if you are transsexual can be very difficult and it can take alot of time

tg is on the inside.. the clothes you wear are just one part of what you do about it...

[Kokoro]

Yea, that kinda makes sense. Normally I only get perhaps 1 or 2 hours alone a week an spending 10 mins getting all done up just to take everything off again in an hours time just doesn't seem worth it.