Not too sure how i should feel

[Joann Smith]

Ok... I know that i am seriously luckey My wife and Daughter both are my strongest supporters The wife ...point blank loves me no if no ands no butts ....and the daughter.. she loves her dad ....pretty much like most daughters love thier dads...but i have the added benifit in the fact that my daughter it totally nuts about drag queen ...lol ...wonder why ......But heres the kicker ....Sometimes when we all go out together They get mistaken for being transwomen...and when that happens the both get totally pissed off....i mean they be ready to go to blows with people ...i just laugh it off ...That is untill last week ...the daughter got carded at a club and had to show her id to prove she was truly a she ....she was devistated ...it left me confused as to how i should feel about ...i do not know if i should be hurt about the fact they feel that being tg is such an hudge insult or flattered by the fact people think tg look so much like GG that they are finding it really hard to tell us apart .....Help

Joann

[Steph.TS]

I'd be insulted on 2 levels, 1. I'm sure your daughter and wife feel it's insulting to be thought of as men DQ, TG, whatever they are likely women and proud of that fact, and to be mistake for being a dude is down right hurtful just as it would be if I went out and didn't pass and people failed to see me as a woman. the 2nd reason I'd be offended is they carded her to verify she was truly a she, that's insulting to TG, CD, TS everywhere, so what happens if she wasn't a she would they have blocked her from going into the club? is this a cisgender only club? the attitude that they have to suggest that they can hold it against us for not being happy with our assigned gender is offensive.

[Joann Smith]

And thats where my confusion lies....is being mistaken for trans actually an insult ?..because today many transwomen are unmistakenly beautiful... and if it is that big of an insult ...then what does that say about how my wife and daughter actually feel about me.

As far as the carding deal goes .....it was half price for ladies night that night and my guess is that the door clerk must have gotten her chops busted for allowing a tg in for half price or somthing stupid like that ..in this a jack hole little town god only knows what her motivation was...

this is us....the unrulely tranny gang invading a mall near you

Joann

[Aprilrain]

you all look like woman to me but do YOU sound like a woman? the reason I ask is because I've noticed that a lot of T girls really struggle with voice and it's a dead give away. maybe they hear you and just assume your all Tgirls out together which is often the case at clubs and such.

[Joann Smith]

Thanks Aprilrain for your reply ...And yes my voice is a dead giveaway ...I am one of those who struggle with gettin my femm voice right...That and the fact that my wife and daughter keep calling me Da...Therefore me getting clocked is kinda a way of life when i am out with them....But i am good with that ..I do not mind being reconized as being trans...actually i am proud that i made it this far with my sanity sort of in tact.

So what you say about people assuming that we are all trans just because they clocked me has alot merit...And i do not have a problem with that.

Is it me or is it a well known fact that Transwomen go the extra mile to look good..we do the hair, nails, makeup, shoes and bag..ect. Its kinda our thing ......So my question to the wife and daughter was " How is being mistaken for being trans an insult"...Transwomen work hard as hell to look good...some do better than others ...but at least most try ...on the other hand there are alot of GG that do not give a rats you know what about how they look in public they just go...and we all know a hand full like that ...

I think I would be alot more pissed off if someone mistook me for a soccer mom...

[Aprilrain]

on the other hand there are alot of GG that do not give a rats you know what about how they look in public they just go

I think I would be alot more pissed off if someone mistook me for a soccer mom...

Amen sister!

hey now I get mistaken for a soccer mom at the gym all the time, I kinda like it. My friend says "you look like some ones tall ass mom" LOL : )

[Angel.Marie76]

Amen sister!

hey now I get mistaken for a soccer mom at the gym all the time, I kinda like it. My friend says "you look like some ones tall ass mom" LOL : )

In my case it's been that my SO and I go out on dates together, and people, men and women, often compliment ME on MY outfits, and looks, and etc., but ignore her... yet SHE'S the GG!! That pisses her off to NO end... so, I've had to start remembering to smother her with affection when such compliments come about like 'Oh, thanks but I couldn't be nearly as beautiful as my wifie here...' and so on.. It helps sometimes. I know that, especially when going out, often a group of people who dress alike are often tagged alike.. it's par for the course really.

Hahaha... It's funny, I've been out F/T for about a 1/2 year now, and when go places with my son and GG wife, they think we're a lesbian couple and generally leave us be... every now and then people interact with my son and I and he slips out the 'D' name in conversation, and people look up at me like.. um.. huh? Course I'm soo used to hearing it I don't even react, but respond and continue on.. leaving people to wonder if he misspoke or something..

As far as passing goes though, I note there was mention of voice being a bit of a tell for Joann... and I just wanted to say that, if you have the ability to practice, and/or find a speech therapist or singing coach or something... give it a shot, even if it's just for a visit or two.. Try and bring your voice up an octave... If it doesn't hurt, then do it.. it makes the difference almost invisible.

[Joann Smith]

Since the response to this thread was so overwhelming.. I belive i do owe yall some follow up...LOL

The fact that my wife and daughter was so upset about being mistaken for transwomen really troubbled me ..I my feelings were really hurt...So me being me , I had to press the issue with the both of them.. What i found out was kinda interesting.

For one i found out that the wife and daughter have been getting alot of crap from people in general because they like to wear big hair and make up ...Now we live in a small town and for the most part women around here do not wear much makeup... So basically around here anyone that wears makeup and big hair it is assumed that are Trans, Hooker or just plain nuts...I know it sounds stupid ...But they gave a bunch of examples where they were told by other GG they should only be wearing makeup on special occasions or to church and not everyday..I did know that my wifes mother use to accuse her of all kinds of weird things because she wore makeup....I use to just laugh it off because she was older and had alot of really outdated ideas about things ,I had no idea that this sillyness was widespread in young and old alike..

They have been catching it round here from other GG for years and I hand no idea....(I guess this is somthing I learned about being a woman) Maybe thats why they are so understanding about me. We had a pretty good discussion about the whole thing ..I told them that i was offended by thier reaction so they explained to me why ...Thier position was that they were upset because of the attitudes some people around here have about thier look..They both dress to please themselves , not to look like or please someone elese ...So little comments or funkey looks made by people tend to piss them off pretty bad. My advice to them was when someone calls them Trans is to 'THANK THEM"..and say trannys work on looking good ...you might want to give it shot...

I do not know if they will take my advice on the snappy come back ....But I hope they can learn not to take it as a bad thing if someone mistakes them for being Trans.. Because it just acknowledgment that they look good..

Joann

[Beth-Lock]

Funny how the stigma of being identified as a transperson is catching -- even GG's can catch it just from hanging around with us. It recently happened to my best friend, whose new boy friend, after being introduced to me, went away and started wondering if my GG friend was trans! It is a bit funny that we have got them all guessing these days. I guess it proves people really can't tell, unless you do a really bizarre and inept job of getting yourself done up as a woman. In a way it sort of sucks, but in another way, when you think of it, maybe outsiders will stop trying to clock people they meet in public, because they will learn how often their suspicions are wrong!

[Nicole Erin]

No matter how one dresses, SOMEone is going to have a problem with it. props to your mom and daughter for being their own people. ;)

So they carded your daughter and wife to make sure they are GG's? I can see where that would be REAL annoying.
Maybe there is this epidemic of men out there dressing as women just to get into clubs for 1/2 price? I can see it now -

"yeah John, things are tight, we might have to forget the club!" hey Mike, What do you think?" "Well Ron, don't be asking me for cash, you know my divorce killed me!" Hey Steve, what about you?" Steve - Well guys, I think we can still do it, the club is having 1/2 price ladies night, we should all dress as chicks and get in cheap! Hey Bill, do you still have my miniskirt and those 4 inch sandals I lent you last weekend...?"

For real tho, it sounds like that club is the Gender police department.

[Joann Smith]

Lol Nicole Erin ...thats pretty funny ...I know a guy by each one of those name ...and the thought of them having that conversation is a head trip...

No...The wife overheard a conversation when we were at the mall that. One lady was asking another weather we were trans or not...And the Daughter got carded later that night when she was out with her friends.. she was pissed because she was the only that got carded...

I do not know whats up with that club ......the thing about it was the door person was a gg....

Joann