First counseling session tomorrow

[Barbra P]

I sent my Doctor a PM last week telling her that I needed to talk to someone about a gender issue, and that I had gone through all the Doctors listed in the Psych Department and didn’t see any reference that any of them treated gender issues. She PM’d me back that she was going to be out of town for two weeks, but she had two Counselors working her module that she thought could help me and that should be my first step. She said if the Counselor decided I needed to see a Psych Dr. she find me one when she got back to town.

My visit with the Counselor is tomorrow (Wednesday) morning. I have absolutely no idea of what to expect.

[Stephenie S]

The first session will be all paper work kinda stuff. Getting a history. Getting your chart started. I insurance stuff. If you feel comfortable with your therapist, then think about making another appointment. If you feel at all ill at ease, just remember you don't have to go back.

But this first session will probably be boring.

S

[ColleenCD]

Barbra,

My recommendation for you would be to be honest with your doctors and most importantly, with yourself. A good therpaist will guide you to your conclusions, not theirs. Trust your gut, make certain you feel comfortable enough to discuss everything with your doctors.

Wear something pretty and have fun,

Colleen

[NyssaF]

Ditto what ColleenCD said. The most important thing is to be honest. Think of your therapist as your sounding wall. They aren't going to listen to whatever you say without judging you at all. Allow yourself to think and say and feel honestly, and you'll be fine.

[Cynthia Anne]

Exspect yourself to be nervous! Everything will fall into place! Just be yourself and stay happy! Hopeing the best for you! Don't worry, it will go fine! Hugs!

[Joanagreenleaf]

Don't expect much. There's a routine "they" follow in getting an idea what "your" sessions will mostly be about. They'll ask questions, you'll get to talk about whatever you want, "goals" will be set and "homework" may be given. Sounds like you've already been given "the bump" as part of that routine. So, shop around if you must until you get someone who you feel will be truly helpful to you. Perfectly fair to evaluate them too. Don't be surprised if they're nervous - they're people too.

[Barbra P]

I want to thank those that responded -- thank you. I'm not expecting a whole lot to come from this first meeting other than to get to know the therapist, learn the ground rules, etc. There shouldn't be any insurance work to be done, this is through my Family Physician and Kaiser; Kaiser has been my HMO for over forty years. One outcome I'm looking for is that one way or another I can get my Wife involved to the point that she will sit down with the therapist and discuss her feelings of why she is so opposed to my crossdressing; she won't even discuss the issue with me. Then of course comes the part of just where in the transgender community I fit in, am I a crossdresser or should I consider myself a transsexual. I have always dreamed of being a girl, but are those feelings just fleeting dreams or are they deep seated. I feel that I want to transition, but that brings up a whole new set of problems, the most pressing being that financially I can't afford it. Other than my Wife I don't see any family issues and being retired there are no job related issues.

I guess I may start to get some answers to some of my questions today, or maybe not. I've learned that we, the transgendered, live in a very confusing world, even more so than most people not involved with transgender issues -- many of who aren't even aware that there is a transgender community living among them.

[Shelly Preston]

Good luck Barbra

I hope the counsellor the doctor has refered you to is the right person to help :hugs:

[Philipa Jane]

Barbara.
This is one of the life changing moments. Being open and frank (well Barbara in your case) with someone who should be non judgmental and able to listen to your wants and needs. If your wife comes along (at the second visit) get her to talk to the counselor on her own and then if possible both together. My wife found this particularly helpful as she was able to talk freely with the counselor who was able to get her to look at aspects of her aversion and avoidance of my situation. This may not work for you but hopefully you both get a creditable outcome.
PJ

[Robin Lee]

Barbra,
Ask to see Karen Evens at the point loma Kaiser. She is the only one in the San Diego Kaiser group that will know what to do with you. If you need a endocrinologist see Dr yu in the Pacific Beach Kaiser.

Best Wishes
Robin Lee

[Barbra P]

My first counseling session lasted just over two hours, which surprised me that I was afforded that much time; most visits to a HMO Doctor are in the wham, bang, thank you, next realm. The session was both more and less than I expected. I asked the therapist about her familiarity with transgender conditions and she admitted that it was not one of her specialties – a little disappointing. But after talking for awhile she said that she thought I had accepted my transgender condition and she thought that was wonderful. She was a bit surprised that my Wife was so against it, and that she would like to talk with my Wife and would suggest to our Family Physician that my Wife should be referred for counseling.

She felt that I was definitely ready to come out of the closet and she felt that would be beneficial for me. She thought I needed more private time, and that I should cultivated some friends that I could socialize with, and that ideally the group should have some GGs along with other crossdressers, go shopping, maybe stop for lunch, or go have a glass of wine together, spend some quality girl time. She told me that socializing with GGs might further my feminine side.

She did mention that that she was a bit surprised at how freely I was able to talk about myself to her, and she did see the feminine influence, and at times felt like she was talking to another woman rather than a man. At one point she asked if I wanted to transition and I answered yes and no; there is no way I could afford the procedure and I know how it would devastate my Wife and I couldn’t do that to her, but if it weren’t for those two items, yes I would jump at the chance. She smiled and said she was sorry that it wasn’t a possibility.

She thought I was under a lot of stress, some emanating from my Wife’s failure to accept my crossdressing and some due to my Daughter and Grandkids living at home, and other home life factors

She called me this afternoon to tell me that she had found a Psychiatrist within the HMO that did specialize in treating the transgendered and had requested a referral.

All-in-all I left feeling better.

Babs

[Eryn]

I'm glad that the session went well, and I hope that in the future your wife can participate.

[Christy_M]

I cannot say enough that you should find a therapist with experience in this area. you will do yourself a disservice by teaching your therapist about yourself and not getting expertise about things you will go through and ways to get yourself prepared for the ups and downs in your future. Good luck and keep us posted on how it progresses.

[Alice B]

Barbara,

Un able to private e-mail as you requested. I need your e-mail address does not show up in your messages.

Alice