Outlets...

[ikthys]

No not the mall :) I'm wondering if I can't elicit some of your collective experience/wisdom on the topic of creative outlets for someone like myself who has an unaccepting SO. I don't want replies that have anything to do with getting her to be accepting or seeing a therapist or anything like that. What I need are creative ways to express my interest in a woman's persona (i.e. clothing) without actually having them involve me in those clothes. For instance, shopping together for her, painting her nails... these things allow me to get into the "off limits" stuff in an acceptable way. Any other ideas? Thanks!

[Stephanie Miller]

A very slippery slope between “outlet” and living vicariously through her to achieve your goal without becoming jealous or resentful. Be careful, and good luck.

[Karren H]

My wife is that way so I won't "preach" at you! My outlets are through business trips (real or perceived), vacation days I take to go out enfemme around locally... And plying ice hockey! The best outlet for pent up feminine anger. :)

I have added enough feminine touches to my daily life to keep me happy-ish... Without crossing the line with my wife.

[Chickhe]

Mind control. No one knows what you are thinking. You can pretend to be a woman and you can even take up a few womanly behaviors, like sitting with your legs crossed and baking cookies or something traditionally feminine. You can read fiction and forums. You can dress and venture out on your own to explore in private, but you have to consider what your explaination is if you get discovered.

[Brenda79135]

My SO has several hobbies that are concidered femme. Knitting/crochet/sewing. I have had her teach me how to do the knitting/crochet. I already know how to sew (learned in high school). This has helped with the CDing quite a bit. Find the hobby she likes and have her teach it to you.

[Sarasometimes]

Well I don't know your $$ situation but if there is some to spare spa treatments are fun to do together such as facials his/he pedicures, which many men get. The hobby idea is good if she has some. I do mey thing in my alone time as others have said. My situation is very similar, i'm virtually sure she knows but (found stuff in history on computer years ago) she has a don't ask don't tell approach. Good Luck! I'm about to enter the summer dry spell, kids are home.

[Joanagreenleaf]

What's that?

You need creative ways to express your interest in a woman's persona (i.e. clothing) without actually having those interest involve you in women's clothes...?

A persona is playing a role or acting "in character." In this case, playing at being a woman or acting out the role of "a woman." But, as you requested, not doing so by using any women's clothing as part of your portrayal.

Seems like a waste of time. You could relax your wrists, speak in a higher tone of voice, bring up discussions about makeup and hair styles - and you'd be conspicuous anyway. Why bother seeming ridiculous in another direction? If she doesn't like the CDing, she isn't going to like the pretending either.

If your interests are in being a woman, or, acting a woman at times, then be who you think you are. You can get another wife, she can get another husband. Why annoy one another needlessly?

[Kate Lynn]

My wife is that way so I won't "preach" at you! My outlets are through business trips (real or perceived), vacation days I take to go out enfemme around locally... And plying ice hockey! The best outlet for pent up feminine anger. :)

I have added enough feminine touches to my daily life to keep me happy-ish... Without crossing the line with my wife.

Karren,I'm surprised you aren't invloved with my favorite sport,shin kicking in steel toe heels,now thats exciting.....LOL

My actual outlets are target shooting,off roading,and photography.

[ikthys]

Thanks so far! I do want to clarify some more that dressing up or playing the part of a woman in any way (whether in private or in public, whether with my wife or by myself) is not what I'm looking for in ideas. When I shop for her (whether she's with me or not), it allows me to express my interest in the women's clothing department and stores and not have it be for me. When I paint her nails, it is to make her look more girly, not me, but it gives me the pleasure of enjoying the nail polish application process. I suppose I could add to my own list the possibility of doing her makeup... truth is I'm not as much a makeup person as a clothing person, but it's definitely not out of the question. Again, thanks so much for trying to help with this. Your thoughts are very appreciated.

[VioletJourney]

Don't overlook even simpler things! I find when I can't dress it helps just to listen to female singers. I doubt I'd be as comfortable with my situation were it not for Halestorm or Orianthi.