Do you wish you weren’t transgendered?

[Nina]

My answer to this has always been yes I wish I was born a woman but I want to know who wishes they were able to totally accept the gender they were born? This is a question for everyone from people who just like to wear women’s underwear under their trousers to those that have fully transitioned. Also for females to males of course.

Nearly everyone I know seems to suffer depression because they’re transgendered including myself at times and it often ruins life’s. Not only the person who is trans but often their families too but if you were born a man do wish you could have grown up being happy with what you are with no female urges what so ever?

It seems an easy thing to say yes to but knowing what I know now I’m not so sure. In my case there are arguments both ways like I’ve met all my best friends through this curse I carry around with me and done some fantastic things but I’ve also lost most of my male friends through my lack of interest in manly things and have been unable to have a proper relationship with anyone and don’t feel I want anyone to get close to me because of what I am. It’s even partly to blame for me losing my job and now not wanting to work full time as a man.

It really is an impossible question to answer and many people I know who are not trans in any way (I don’t think) and living normal lives don’t seem that happy and have other issues depressing them.

So do you wish you weren’t transgendered or are you glad you are ?

[Karren H]

Yes! Definitely.. I'd switch to either gender in a heartbeat... Either one. I'm not picky... Just overly complicates my life. But the reality is it won't happen so I embrace who I am and move forward.

[Maddie22]

Yes! Definitely.. I'd switch to either gender in a heartbeat... Either one. I'm not picky... Just overly complicates my life. But the reality is it won't happen so I embrace who I am and move forward.

Ditto Karen, Ditto!!!!!!

[Lorileah]

I just figure I am either missing a gene or have a different gene than guys who act like macho guys.

I am an actor I guess and I can play either part but there are times I do wish I was totally one or the other. I also wish for world peace and to get the winning Lotto numbers. I just try and be who I am. Both of me.

[Debb]

What Karren said. Exactly.

[Rianna Humble]

I wasted nearly 47 years wishing that I wasn't trans and you are right that it led me to depression and very nearly to suicide.

I was classified male at birth, but I don't believe that I have ever been a man - that is why when I feel truly, madly, deeply in love, I had to break both of our hearts because I could not have performed the role of the husband in the marriage and she deserved to be married to a man who would be a true husband.

Since giving up the fight, I have made some extraordinary friends that I might not otherwise have known, but my life would have been very different if I had not wasted all of that time.

If I wish in any way that I was not trans, it is merely that I regret what I am unable to have because I was born with the wrong parts; but I am put in mind of one of my father's sayings "what's done is done and can't be undone" - meaning that regrets won't change the past, so I look forward with hope rather than backwards with regret.

[JenniferS]

If I could pick just one sex, I would choose to be a Woman. I have wished many a times that I was a Girl. Like you Nina I find it very hard to have male friends. I have nothing in common with them. Im into shopping and clothes,makeup and anything associated with being female. Including have deires to have sex with them. But if I was born a female I would proberbly still be BI because women are better kisser's.

JenniferS

[theresa]

I love being transgendered. I don't think I could stop even if I wanted to. Fortunately I have accepting people in my life.

[sissystephanie]

I guess by medical standards I am Transgendered, but I don't think of myself that way. I am a man who crossdresses!! Other than the clothes I may be wearing, in no way am I a woman!! Nor do I want to be one!! I am happy to be a man!!

[Rachel05]

There was a time in my life when I used to hate being a cross dresser, then gradually I have come to terms with it and actually I am happy with me now, don't want to be a woman full time but just love being a woman when I can, it totally works for me now, happy in my skin and in my head

[thechic]

Yes i wish i wasn't transgendered,just wish i was a woman.

[Heather Daniels]

I wish I was not this way. I still havent come to grips with it and it's beginning to really eat away at me. I'm actually starting to be very afraid of it all.

[Tina B.]

I spent a lot of my life wishing I was not transgendered, And wasted some time being resentful I'm not a woman. But then I found a woman that loves me just as I am, and I learned to love the life I have. I only dress in the privacy of my home, or controlled places like a hotel room, went out once, but found myself to be very uncomfortable out and about. But at home, I am the queen! Since retiring, I've become a house wife and love it.
Tina B.

[VioletJourney]

Nah, I'm fine. I have no problems with my gender situation at the moment. Lots of other stuff to be depressed about, though.

[Gocaps14]

I absoluely want to feel manly all the time. I don't understand my feelings and I don't feel comfortable in my own skin. I wish my life was different.

[Kaz]

Being the way I am sure presents challenges, especially as I have now stopped kidding myself it'll go away and just accept it. I go away for the night and pack several suitcases of clothes and "stuff"... wierd!

Would I rather not be the way I am? Not at all... I have experienced things I guess not many guys will, and love it. But as i am by definition not a mack man maybe I have missed out on a lot of boy stuff... I sure as hell have missed out on a lifetime of being a girl...

So it is back to Karren... either would do... but being in the middle is also quite nice... if a little problematic at times!

[Sophie86]

I like where I'm at, right here in the middle.

[Sheren Kelly]

I enjoy having a foot in either gender camp. My biggest fear is that it will always defeat my relationships. My GF is a wonderful person, but she has difficulty with the subject of my transgenderism. I really want that part of me to be valued, not avoided.

[suchacutie]

If until 6 years ago, as far as I knew, I was a guy.

Then as a bit of a joke I dressed for my wife. Within 48 hours my fem side had a name, an e-mail address, and ground rules with my loving wife for this adventure to understand "Tina". Within 6 months Tina had some clothes, breastforms, shoes, and the beginnings of makeup. She and my wife started conversations about being a girl, growing up as a girl, and being a woman...my wife enjoyed the telling and Tina was fascinated. My wife and I shared parallel stories about all facets of life and began to understand each other like never before. My wife said she expected it to just run out of gas quickly, but instead it was clear that Tina was really a part of me and was here to stay. At that point my wife and Tina started talking about me as a third person. My wife and I started to talk about Tina as a third person. We started to understand which parts of me were my fem self, and how that affected the whole.

Is being transgendered taking up my time? Is it work? Is it life-changing? Yes to all three. But, my life is immesurably better now than it was 6 years ago!!! I am healthier. I take better care of myself. I think about how I present myself in either gender. The cosmetics and skin-care products do cost a fortune, but my wife and I share them!!! My wife and I understand each other so much better, and have opened up areas of our thinking we could never have imagined even existed 6 years ago.

I love both of my genders and they have been nothing but a tremendous plus no matter how you slice it!

P.S. Oh yes, and it turns out that my lower back problems have vanished since I started wearing 4.5 inch clogs every morning!!!!!

[joandher]

I believe that I am privilege to be as I am, as I have the best of both worlds ,something that the ordinary man or woman will never experience, and I love it and wouldn't want to change a thing

Hugs

J-JAY

[ReineD]

... and have been unable to have a proper relationship with anyone and don’t feel I want anyone to get close to me because of what I am.

I can't answer your question, but from across the miles, I just want to send you the biggest :bh: imaginable. You are a beautiful person and you deserve a beautiful life.

[GMCD]

Asking if I wish I wasn't transgendered is like asking me if I ever wish I wasn't a Mexican, or if I wish I'd had different parents. It's an interesting mental exercise, but ultimately there is nothing I can do about who and what I am. I am this.

What I wish I wasn't is a label. I wish I wasn't viewed differently and treated differently. I wish that for everyone who is like me. I can't change what I am, and I've stopped trying, but the world could certainly change how it treats me for being what I am.

[NathalieX66]

I wish I was gay instead of being trandgendered......it would save me a ton of money on clothes, shoes, makeup, permanent hair removal,and every thing else.
Being a girl is both fun and relaxing but sometimes challenging. But I'm not one to feel comfortable one gender only, I can handle being two genders. Hormone replacement therapy isn't necessary for me, but I certainly enjoy being a woman in public (restaurants, malls, movie theatres, clubs, supermarket, Starbucks,you name it). I try to get out as often as I can....alone or with friends.

[Kaz]

I wish, I wish... I am who I am... 1. accept it, 2. live it, 3. deal with it... I think I am in zone 1!

[Areyan]

sometimes i wish i wasn't trans because i feel that my love life would have been smoother and i'd probably have settled into some cis family life by now but i am what i am and i've attracted others just like me or with similar problems all my life. i swing wildly at times between being absolutely thrilled that i'm really a boy inside but other times i have meltdowns over my sad life and the fact that everyone reads me wrong.

this is also a pet peeve of mine - MTF transsexuals and MTF CDs are the most disrespectful to me out of everyone, cis folks included. i can't even begin to count how many times i have been called "gf" or "girlie" or "sista" by one of these ignorant people. :facepalm: Cynthia-Anne, you're particularly bad at this... quit calling me female pronouns please, this is the last warning for you.

seriously, girls... if you want to be female, act more like one and have some respect for us fellas. we may be trans like you but we're not "gurls" and every other FTM i know gets sick of your ignorance when addressing us.

to those of you wonderful girls who get it right every time, you are my sisters in this mad and ignorant world and i'm pleased that you honour me with the correct pronoun of brother - thank you. :love:

[prettytoes]

I very often wonder "why me?" I see a young girl in a pretty skirt, or bikini and wish I could be her. I actually feel very jealous. I do love my life, and I have an awesome wife and 2 great daughters, but I often wish I didn't have to be the way I am (TG). I wish that I didn't have the urges or desires to be feminine. It would surely make life much simpler. I would love to go to the beach with bright pink toenails and a pretty, fluttery bikini, but I am a man and men don't do that. I live in constant fear of being caught, but I truly feel comfortable and at ease while wearing silky, pretty, satin panties. I know that I look silly in a dress or mini skirt, but I get depressed when I can't wear them for long periods of time. I have no need for the support of a bra, yet wearing one just feels "right". I have been through the purges, but always come back.
Again I will ask, "why me?"

[Mary Morgan]

I am glad to be transgender. In spite of the anxieties and inconveniences I would not change a thing, oh maybe I'd embrace it more than I have. I'm not really into woulda coulda shouldas so I have to assess the life I have lived. I was blessed to be born in America, to have two wonderful sons, to have been loved and partnered with two lovely and loving women, to have a great career, to enjoy good health and financial freedom, to have at least tasted the feminine side of life, and appreciate it for all that it is. Okay, maybe I would like to have had smaller feet, a nicer figure, a prettier face, a larger wardrobe............

[Jay Cee]

My life would have been a lot less complicated, I suppose, if I didn't have such a strong feminine side. Relationships would have been easier. My work life would be easier - I would fit right in with the macho rednecks. :D

However, not being TG would mean that my world would be that much smaller and more confining.

So, I'd say that the answer is no, I wouldn't change it. A lot of us will face hardships for being TG, but it is possible to come away from it as more tolerant, more open minded people.

[Pythos]

Nope. What I wish for is for those that wish I did not exist, would not wish that. I wish that those that want to place limits upon me do to my prefered style of dress would shut up, not try to limit transgendered anybody, and would just live and let live.

[Beth-Lock]

I have completed my two year RLE. Being TG/TS is an experience that has had its ups and downs. Of course, I wish I had been born a woman. But having experienced living as both, is I think a rare privelege which gives you so much by way of insights into life. But I have passed the point where I found switching back and forth, my cross-dressing stage, was fun.

[Billie Jean]

I am glad to be transgender. In spite of the anxieties and inconveniences I would not change a thing, oh maybe I'd embrace it more than I have. I'm not really into woulda coulda shouldas so I have to assess the life I have lived. I was blessed to be born in America, to have two wonderful sons, to have been loved and partnered with two lovely and loving women, to have a great career, to enjoy good health and financial freedom, to have at least tasted the feminine side of life, and appreciate it for all that it is. Okay, maybe I would like to have had smaller feet, a nicer figure, a prettier face, a larger wardrobe............I also say that I wish I could just be me and wear what I wanted when I wanted in front of everyone. That would make me happier about being who I am, a man who loves to wear skirts and heels. Billie Jean

[sometimes_miss]

Do you wish you weren’t transgendered?
Absolutely. Anything that makes life more difficult, I can do without. I also wish I weren't so tall, didn't have such big feet, wasn't missing any teeth, had better parents, the list goes on and on. Sure, you're going to find lots of people who for self esteem reasons have to 'love who they are'; But me? I'd really rather be able to function as a normal guy in a relationship without all the female desires kicking in, screwing up my relationships. The vast majority of women want 'normal' masculine men, and they're willing to put with a whole lot of misbehavings to have them. The thing that that same vast majority isn't willing to put up with is the image of a feminine man as a mate. Hey, I didn't choose the world to be like this; I just have to live in it the way it is.

[PretzelGirl]

I like where I'm at, right here in the middle.

I like this. I don't recall any depression or struggles over being who I am no matter what aspect we could talk about. I have a perspective that you make the best of what you have and enjoy life instead of dwelling on what you don't have. And about it making life difficult? I guess it would depend on your interpretation of that. But if nothing in life was difficult, then it would be pretty boring.

[Tanya C]

I don't spend a whole lot of time wishing I wasn't what I am. Sure, being TG has it's difficulties, but then so does life itself and I certainly wouldn't wish that away.

[Pink Person]

I enjoy my transgender status, but wish I wasn't the object of so much social hostility because of it. In other words, I wish other people weren't so transphobic and abusive of transpeople. Being transgender is a social problem for me, not a personal one.

[Jenniferpl]

One or the other, male or female. Being in between is getting complicated. Both have their separate advantages and disadvantages.

[Jeanna]

Being transgendered is really tough but I like what being both male and female has brought me. So I will remain undecided as it is what nature intended anyways.

[msniki48]

I believe that I am privilege to be as I am, as I have the best of both worlds ,something that the ordinary man or woman will never experience, and I love it and wouldn't want to change a thing

Hugs

J-JAY

i too feel that i have the best of both worlds and have experienced things no ordinary man or woman could, but the fact that i personally feel restrained from expressing both sides interchangably without critisism, sometimes makes me wish i was just one gender. preferably female.

[GingerLeigh]

If I had a choice to be TG or not, I would chose not. It has created a great deal of misery and anxiety that I had to bear alone. Too afraid to tell anyone, too ashamed to seek help. Sure, now after 40+ years I've finally accepted it for what it is, but it was along arduous journey to get here.

[morgan51]

So much as Karen stated I would love to just be one or the other. I have had a great life and get to learn so much more than just one gender/life. Its nice to experience life from both sides. I have repressed this for so long , depression almost killed me several times. Truly hope I'm done with that now that I embrace both sides. Wouldn't change what I've done but hope to live better from this point foward, more authentic as myself. Hugs to all my T sisters and brothers.

[Elena Ornamental]

Being gender confused has affected my life in many ways but I think transgendered people are special because our perception of society is more encompassing then that of "normal" people. We are able to perceive things around us that other people aren't aware of and I think that is good.

[dawnmarrie1961]

What I wish is: I wish everybody else was this way too. Then then could know what we go through. I think that once they feel the emotional termoil that many of us have to deal with it would change their perception of how they view the TG and Cd community.
Walk a mile in our shoes, Baby! They might look nice! But sometimes they hurt like hell!

[TGMarla]

It's a yes and a no question....or answer. I could have done without all the doubt and grief that came with this. But I couldn't imagine a life without the blessings and the discovery that being transgendered has provided.

Overall, there are many times when I have to say that I agree with Karen on this. And that rankles me. After all, she is a Red Wings/Packers fan.

[Samantha43]

I don't really consider my self trangendered since I really like being a man. If I had a preference, I could do without the crossdressing. It's part of who I am so I accept and even embrace it. It does give me great enjoyment, relaxation and satisfaction. That being said, I would prefer to do without it.

Okay.....I'm making no sense at all! :D

[tammi ogles]

Makes absolute sense to me. I LOVE women's clothing, but my life would be a LOT less complicated without this girl in my body.

[tammi ogles]

Are you sure the money in the laundry is yours? I'm missing some myself. Being a CD is a lot of fun and grief, I must agree, but I'm blessed with fact that I DON'T like sports. I'm free to agree with anyone.

[tammi ogles]

I have to agree with you, Dawn Marie, that life would be better if every one was transgender. I for one could live as I really want, switching from drab to drag as I please. Yes, I have a few Pairs of shoes that hurt like Hell, but wear them around the house, anyway.

[tammi ogles]

I can relate. I'm 50 and still can't live as openly as I would like to. It would be really nice to walk through a mall with out having to worry about someone caring that you're a man in a skirt and heels.

[Megan70]

Yes I wish I wasn't. I wish I had never tried on that first female garment at 7 and had the strong urges become ingrained and transvestism confirm by 13. It is a curse that I wish never happened , but i can't do anything about it now, so i enjoy my cross dressed life by going out dressed once a week and perform as a woman in public. Recently I took the big step in coming out one at a time to 4 of my closest male non-cross dressing friends whom I've known for 40+ years from college. I sat down with each one had a long talk and explained who I am, why I am and brought pictures. You know what? It didn't matter, they just wanted me to be comfortable with who I am and our mutual friendship among all us 5 guys is solidly in tack... so much so that after telling the last one me and the 4 guys went out to a philharmonic concert at our music hall with me dressed as Megan, then going out with a drink with them afterwords. My fears came to rest and were relived.
But to answer the original , yes i wish I was NOT TG/TV/ CD. Its hurt too many along the way .
End of short story.
Megan

[BRANDYJ]

Some of you have heard the term "gender gifted" I for one feel gifted that by my being a crossdresser/transgendered, that I am a better person/man because of it. Many of my core values and emotions seem to be more like that of a female...the gentler, more caring, more empathic and loving of the genders. Frankly,to me that is the gift of being gender gifted. I'm not saying that it's all a big bowl of cherries, but I for the most part have lived a very happy life being me. Even though most of that life I stayed mostly in the closet to only venture out to places where those of us that are TG are welcomed. Most of the friends I have or had know who and what I am. That has never caused me any pain or loss of friends. Other then one brother that will not talk to me since I foolishly came out to him only 2 years ago. I would not change a thing about my being me.

[Meghan]

When I was no older than 8 or 9, I would lie in my bed at night and PREY that I would wake up as a girl. Yet every morning, I was dejected...because nothing had changed from the night before.

Yes, to be sure, I wish all the time that I didn't feel out of place and that I could be who I am, both personality wise and how I present myself to others.

It's hard to never feel comfortable in your own skin. I wish I never had to think about that.

Meghan

[Rianna Humble]

When I was no older than 8 or 9, I would lie in my bed at night and PRAY that I would wake up as a girl. Yet every morning, I was dejected...because nothing had changed from the night before.

Meghan, I can really relate to that because I was about the same age when I first remember crying myself to sleep every night wishing I could wake up as the girl I knew I was meant to be.

[Meghan]

Meghan, I can really relate to that because I was about the same age when I first remember crying myself to sleep every night wishing I could wake up as the girl I knew I was meant to be.

That was a scary time for me too. I was so worried about how my dad/mom/friends might react if and when they caught me. Caught me wishing that everything would be set the right way...caught me hoping I was a girl.

Meghan

[Vickie_CDTV]

Sometimes I was I was not a TV, if for no other reason that I am very lonely and it makes finding a girlfriend that much harder. It is can be hard for an average cisgender male, being a TV makes it all that much more difficult :(

[Kathryn Philips]

Absolutely not. I just wish I had felt what I feel now say 20yrs ago so I may have taken a different path in life. In my case, despite current circumstances being a CD is life's greatest gift.... My friend Kaz puts it nicely:



... I have experienced things I guess not many guys will, and love it

[RachelX]

Absolutely yes. As long as the alternative would mean having been born a female.
Not if it meant being a "man". OMG! The thought of being a "normal" man is horrifying. Being transgendered I am a woman. Just one who is cursed with the tragedy of a male body.

[SamanthaS]

Not me, but I do wish there was a cure for crossdressing. If there were a cure, I'd take it; not that there is anything wrong with dressing. I just wish I could stop doing it.

[sara.s]

I am happy as I am :battingeyelashes:. (part time TV, not transgendered)

[pj]

Some of you have heard the term "gender gifted" I for one feel gifted that by my being a crossdresser/transgendered, that I am a better person/man because of it. Many of my core values and emotions seem to be more like that of a female...the gentler, more caring, more empathic and loving of the genders. Frankly,to me that is the gift of being gender gifted.I'm with that. In many American native cultures trans people were/are considered "two-spirited," and accepted as just that, and are never expected to be male or female. The fact that the more modern and enlightened [cough, cough] cultures most of us live in do not make room for any such two-spiritedness is what causes all the pain we're seeing in this thread.

When I feel jealous of someone because of who they are, how they were born or what they might have, I always ask myself if I'd trade places with them, and the answer is always 'no.' Maybe I'm just a narcissist. Or maybe I'm just that awesome. ;) So if you're in pain, just try to remember how awesome you are.

[GirlieAmanda]

I love that Native American two spirit notion. I am very spiritual and in tune with nature. I feel that of course being a real female would be awesome, but would I know it then? I would like to retain my consciousness and KNOW how lucky I am to be a female. But that cannot happen. I think some females do appreciate it. They love being girlie. I can see it. Sometimes I do wish I were not so complex but then I remember that I am only complex because of the way our society is. Deep down, I really love being like I am. It makes me feel incredibly good. I just have to find a great person to share with.

[Sarah Doepner]

I don't know, I'm happy with how I am now. I've never experienced life without crossdressing, so I really can't imagine any other way. My initial wish would be to have accepted and acted on it much earlier in my life. That would have made so much of the stress and so many of the crises unnecessary.

and then I saw dawnmarrie's post,


What I wish is: I wish everybody else was this way too. Then then could know what we go through. I think that once they feel the emotional termoil that many of us have to deal with it would change their perception of how they view the TG and Cd community.

This is an option I hadn't thought of and like it.