Question about your Wifes attire?

[kendra_gurl]

I've often wondered if the way the Wives and SO's of other cd's dress in any way determines how they dress or how often they feel the need to dress.

To keep the question simple

If your wife or SO always dressed in very feminine and stylish clothing and lingerie plus very nice makeup do you think it would make you need to crossdress More or Less?

For me I think it would be Less for me. I love my wife but she would never wear sexy lingerie or low cut tops saying it made her feel trashy or ****ty, so my only outlet to see it on someone other than in magazines was for me to wear it. Same as for makeup, she never wears more than just a hint of it. Years ago she had a makeover done and it was amazing. It was very professional and tastefully done and made her look like a model. I took her out to dinner and she got so many admiring looks she felt she must look like a clown and hated it all because especially the guys could not keep from staring at her. I remember at the time I never felt so proud to be her husband and felt so masculine to have such a beautifully feminine wife that others drooled over.

Guess that just proves how visual we males really are

[sissystephanie]

The way my late wife dressed and used makeup really turned me ON!! I have no idea if it made me want to crossdress more or less!! I was thinking of other things!! She was an expert with both fashion and makeup, and was beautiful even without any makeup!! That is just part of why I loved her, and still do!! When we went out she always got stared at a lot, with good reason!!!

[prettytoes]

Kendra, I couldn't agree with you more! I love my wife dearly, and have begged her to "spice up" her panty style, and lingerie. I would also love to see her in a mini skirt...she won't even wear a skirt. As for the makeup, she got a makeover for a Christmas party, and I about went through the roof over how good she looked. She occasionally wears a small amount of eyeliner and some powder.
I think she is a very attractive woman, but she lacks the confidence to wear skimpy underwear, sexy lingerie, or short skirts.
I, on the other hand wear all of the above. I think I have the same skirt you are wearing in your avatar! One time she told me that she doesn't know proper makeup techniques, and she can't do it right (another confidence thing). I am really wanting to tell her she can practice on me, but she is still a little uncomfortable with my CDing.
I guess since she won't "trash it up" a little, I have to! lol

[Joanagreenleaf]

She dresses very well indeed, but what she does has nothing to do with me - and had nothing to do with me in the fifty years before I met her.

We have, just the same, had a few friendly competitions to see who "should" get a particular skirt... Imagine what the odds are that we might like the same thing...

Asking your question the other way, what I wear has nothing to do with what she chooses to wear, unless my guy shirt, slacks, and coat might somehow color coordinate with whatever she was thinking about wearing for the evening.

But, CDing and her choices/my choices? No, no connection at all. It's never even crossed either of our minds to think so.

[Karren H]

What my wife wears, has ever worn and will ever wear has no effect on what I wear or how often I dress. Truth is she has no taste in women's clothing. Or makeup. I do like her new fossil purse... Since I started dressing at 7, my tastes were set by what my mother wore and all women wore.. Dresses! Not jeans! Don't think my mother owned pair. And neither do I! Lol.

[Sophie86]

While it's true that my wife doesn't wear dresses or skirts very much and hardly ever wears makeup, I don't think it would change anything if she did. It would be nice, though, because we're very close to the same size and I could get some better hand-me-downs.

(And I think that before anyone points to that as a contributing factor in their crossdressing, they should ask themselves why they married a woman who doesn't wear girly things in the first place.)

[Danni Renee]

I will have to say my girlfriend's style absolutely has an effect on my dressing - for the better. She does not wear short skirts or tight clothes (which I do ocassionally) but she is very stylish with her clothes and accessories. I find that she is more of a goal in which I want to imitate and it effects my style choices and even my makeup. I cannot wait until I can be together with her so she can teach me her makeup techniques. She already sent me the makeup she uses so we can work on it together.

[Nicole Erin]

When I was married - my wife and I had different tastes. Sometimes I would help her shop for clothes, I can say my sense of fashion was better than hers but she was one of those who just didn't care about "fashion". Sometimes we would share clothing but it was more of a thing where she borrowed my stuff than me borrowing hers. I just didn't like her things, not my taste.

[Shananigans]

Well, seeing as my SO has thought about dressing since he was a child, I don't think it has much to do with me. I just don't buy the whole "my wife dresses like crap, so I feel the need to fill the woman's shoes." If it's the excuse you use to help validate yourself and get your through the day then go for it. But, it's really kind of laughable.

My SO and I have very different styles. I channel old Hollywood glamour when I am going out of the house...Bridget Bardot, Marilyn Monroe, Betty Page, and Dita von Teese are my fashion icons... Think red lipstick, cat-eyes, hot-rolled hair, and a bustier dress. His style is more...porn starish. Think lots of eyeshadow, bedroom hair, school girl skirt, and thigh highs. Camie's style is fine...to each their own. However, I laugh at the idea that she dresses like Pamela Anderson simply because I don't. I think she dresses like that because she likes the way she looks. I think I dress the way that I do because I like the way I look.

But, nah, that's too simple.

Perhaps, your wives don't dress up because they don't feel comfortable doing so. Maybe instead of putting them down with posts like this where you blame your own actions on someone else, you could start taking some initiative and some ownership of what you are doing...and, while you are at it, tell your wife that she is beautiful and conjure up a moment and tell her when you thought she looked her sexiest. MAYBE when less selfish actions are taken, you will see that your wife's confidence increases and she will start dressing to impress you.

But, all of that is way too simple of logic to actually work. It's much more logical to say you are a CD simply because she doesn't wear heels and a mini.

Riiiiight

[Tanya C]

My wife has a wonderful collection of dresses, skirts, heels, etc. and she looks great in all her outfits.
But that has never diminished my dressing in any way. To the contrary, I really enjoy our girl's days when we both get dressed up and go out and about.
Picture us walking down a city sidewalk together with 2 pairs of high heels clicking away. Life doesn't get much better than that.

[Daphne Renee]

How she dresses really doesnt have much effect on how I want to dress. She wears what she likes and I am fine with that. I buy her clothes sometimes and makeup as well. If she wears jeans more often it doesnt make me want to dress any more or less.

[Nancie64]

My SO does wear skirts and dresses and does a nice job on her make up but I don't beleive that this has any affect on how Nancie dresses. I love skirts, skirts, and more skirts. She always tells me that I have the nicer legs so I can wear the skirts. I do have a couple pair of jeans but only wear them to leave the house. And she really can't wear much for heels, they bother her feet so someone in the household has to wear them, and who better than Nancie.

[Iskandra]

Well I love my gf to death, her mind is the most beautiful one I've ever met, so sophie, entering a relationship based on the way someone dresses (or not) is pretty shallow and will go nowhere girl!
But yes she is more comfy in jeans or trackies.. Shoes flat due to ankle problems, though i am trying to get through to her hells dont need to be walked in! lol
Sexy lingerie, stockings, lace etc, she is not comfortable in due to selfbody image..

She went to a party last night and when I saw her makeup, it was stunning.. understated, simple yet highlighted all her amasing features.. (can you say bedroom eyes)
So she does know how to look feminine, she always does, I'm just dying to see her as a (my views) woman, soft fabrics, textures other than tshirt material, (lace, satin, rah rah), skirts and tops or dresses that accentuate her curves not hide them.. It's a mental think to her and I respect that.. but...

Yes I miss those things in my life, yes it has an influence on how I dress, but should her mind change and she start wearing these clothes, I would still dress the same..
Well considering she ramped up (you need to get with the times babe) my male dress, given acceptance and support, I'd probably end up dressing better en femme too... lol..

But no girls, her 'dressing down' is not an excuse for why i dress up..
Shananigans, you say compliment your SO, that it's a put down wishing them to glam it up a little.. This desire is not a put down, my SO is a diamond,(yes i tell her all the time) and with a little polishing she would be a crown jewel! Heck she already is to me.. I feel your last sentence is a put down too, it doesn't matter why we love something, or how we express it.. Love beats ridicule anyday!!

I..
I..

[Shananigans]

Shananigans, you say compliment your SO, that it's a put down wishing them to glam it up a little..

Hmmm...I don't believe that's what I said at all. I would reread my post and keep in mind that my point is that CDing due to wifely frumpiness seems like a poor, far-reaching excuse. If you Do compliment your lover and make her feel special, then I think that is absolutely excellent. I am also glad to see that you aren't making CDing Her problem.

I am Not saying CDing is a problem, but The Problem is saying that CDing is a manifestation of a wife's lack of self maintenance. THAT'S the problem.

What I AM saying is that a bad approach to getting your wife to dress better would be to say, "I CD so much because you dress like crap." It shows that you know NOTHING about women. Women don't respond to that crap. We also won't respond to sh*t like, "You never wear miniskirts and heels...I wish that you would." Mini skirts are probably not her style. What we DO respond to is when you say something like, "Remember when we went to XYZ event and you wore that dress and did you hair up all nice? I was just thinking about that the other day...you looked so beautiful and I'm such a lucky guy." That makes me and 99% of other women go, "Oh...he liked it and considered himself lucky when I dressed nice...maybe I should dress nice more often." What ISN'T going to work is you telling your wife to dress nicer. Why? Because, we will just think that you are ungrateful, sh*theads and will probably throw every excuse in the book as to why we Can't dress nice. 1) Work 2) Kids 3) Stress, etc. So, my advice is go about asking in a different way. I'm not saying that wanting her to dress nicer is wrong, but I'm saying that YOU CAN GO ABOUT IT IN THE WRONG WAY! Case and point: I CD a lot because you dress like crap and I fill the womanly void that you are failing at.

P.S. my last sentence WAS meant to be a put down. Want to know why? Because every time I see these threads I do this :rolleyes:

And, then I read http://whywomenhatemen.blogspot.com/

[Billie Jean]

No, but I'd love to be able to apply makeup like my ex did. Her eyes were beautiful but the way she made the up brought them out. Her whole face was beautiful but I was dressing years before we met. Billie Jean

[Iskandra]

Ahh gotcha Shananigans, subtle difference in reading I guess..
"I dress up because you don't"... yup thats a slap in the face, I see your point..

Just read the first part of wwhm, geez,:eek: point again taken..

I..

[Pythos]

The GG dressed in a manner I liked very much. Did it affect how I dressed? LOL. HELL NO!!. Actually she adapted some of my stylings. LOL.

[Kathy4ever]

I would not say they correlate. I think I'm like most and started young, many ,many years before I met my wife. I dress because thats what I liketo do not because she chooses not to that much.

[t-girlxsophie]

No my Wifes wardrobe has no bearing on my Dress sense,I wear the same now as I did before I met her.She loves her denims (as do I when she wears them:daydreaming:)Joggies and t-shirts but also has dressier attire she likes to wear too on occasion honestly she could wear a bin bag and I would still desire her,One thing though since she met me her wardrobe has grown an awful lot and we have lovely girly nights when we get dolled up together.

Sophie

[Georgia Rose]

The only way my wife's style affects mine is that I like to borrow stuff from her, not having a whole lot myself. She doesn't like to flash any flesh whereas I wouldn't mind it. She does have a good sense of style. Since I've been CDing she asks my advice a lot more. The one thing I would like her to do is get better lingerie. I've bought her smarter stuff but she just goes and wears the old comfortable ones. Now given up on that & keep them for myself.

[Staci G]

As with Karren I like to wear dresses, my wife likes capri's, jeans, tshirts, no makeup ect.... I on the other hand love all of it dresses skirts and adore makeup, the smell and feel of it. When it comes to church she wears almost floor lenght skirts, either denim or cotton. I see other women in church and I ask her if she likes this or that to give her a hint. Sooooo no her style does not influence me at all. I dress much better.

[TGMarla]

My wife used to wear dresses to work every day. But nowadays she wears....whatever. Often it's some variation on a set of sweats. But I used to dress a lot back then, and I dress a lot today as well. I don't think it's made one bit of difference or had any effect on my dressing at all.

[LACD]

Dear Wife has a kind of "Dressy Casual" look. I guess I take a cue from that but when we shop we usually pick out the same tops, pants or even dresses and skirts. She doesn't wear a lot of make up so whenever I get a chance I like to put on make up. I don't get many chances anymore but I enjoy it when I do.

[jillcutie]

I think the way she dresses influences me a lot because most of what i wear is shared between us. What I do have of my own she has either bought for me or gone with me to pick out at the store. Most of her clothes that I wear are more casual, as my own are more dressy or sexy.

[NicoleScott]

Yes I agree, Kendra. My wife used to wear nice makeup, short skirts, and heels. And I loved it when she did. I'm not ashamed to go out with her as she is still very attractive but I miss that special feeling "isn't my wife HOT?" I used to get. I guess middle age has settled in. As for affecting my dressing up more or less, I'm not so sure. Long before I met her, I loved making up and getting dressed up.

[Tina B.]

I guess if I had to admit it I would have to say, I haven't seen my wife in a skirt in a few years, and her blouses look more like a mans shirt than a blouse. But would I dress less if she dressed more, I don't think so. I spent time in the Navy when we didn't have women on board ship, like now days, and I spent thirty years working in a male only profession, what I've learned about hanging with guys I can be one, and enjoy it. And as long as I'm not around women I don't even think about it much. But get me in an environment that is filled with estrogen, and I am in the mood to join them in no time. the girlier it gets the more I want in, go figure. I guess it's a good thing the wife doesn't dress sexier, or I would never be in pants.
Tina B.

[Leslie Langford]

I can't help but think that for many of us crossdressers, part of the appeal of our "hobby" is the fact that we can act out our fantasies of how we would like our "dream woman" to look by dressing that way ourselves, and then being captivated by the "girl' who looks back at us from the mirror. So, in a way, we are eliminating the "middle man" (woman?) in the process, and rather than pleading, cajoling and begging our wives or SO's to dress in a manner we find sexy and appealing and continuously finding ourselves being rebuffed for our efforts for a variety of reasons, we just say "f#%k it!", and do it ourselves. This is where the fetishistic aspect of our crossdressing comes into play. Yes, it's a dirty job, but someone has to do it...;)

Like most of the more mature crossdressers here, I grew up in an era (1950's -1980's) when women still dressed in skirts, dresses, heels, and hose etc. and revelled in their girlish femininity. Rightly or wrongly, this was the image of femininity that was imprinted on our developing brains, and has stuck with us ever since. This was also the time before the feminist movement fully took hold, and before being considered "girly" became a bad thing.

I know that I am starting to sound like an old fart saying this, but this was also a time when people took more pride in their appearance, dressed up for special occasions (Sunday church, weddings, funerals, school events, graduations, anniversary dinners, retirement parties etc. - even going on an airplane flight or a cruise was considered a special event and demanded the appropriate attire). In addition, most offices had strict dress codes, and the concept of looking "professional" still had some meaning. These days, what used to be considered appropriate business wear has deteriorated from "Dress Down Fridays" to everyday casual wear, and has now culminated in the type of grunge which has become universal. People now routinely go to work unshaven, with bed-heads, and without even minimal make up on, never mind practising the most basic personal grooming. And this is topped off with torn jeans, dirty and wrinkled shirts or tops, sweats, jogging pants, sneakers, or flip-flops and the like.

Yes, I get it - life has gotten a lot busier in the intervening decades, with many more demands on our time. Far more women are the workforce nowadays, so they don't have the luxury any more of leading a June Cleaver type lifestyle where they can be domestic goddesses and have plenty of time to dress in heels, pearls, and full make up to do their housework while raising the kids single-handedly. In other words, being the perfect Stepford Wife who greats the Lord and Master and Head of the House with a martini in hand to calm his frayed nerves after his long day at the office.

Today's reality is that while while women are pulling an equal load to the men in terms of their own financial contribution to the household income, that's only the first shift they work every day. The second shift starts when they get home and have to look after the domestic issues which men are only slowly coming around now to sharing in equal measure. So something had to give, and it's usually sleep and time to attend to personal grooming and looking sexy for her man (never mind time for sex itself).

I guess that's called progress, but have women really become liberated in the process? Back in the day, I used to envisage the future looking like something out of Star Trek. Now, we seem to have lost all sense of civility, have become a self-centered and self-indulgent "me-me-me" society, and dress either like hobos or ****s because we don't seem to know any better or just don't give a d%mn any more.

So yes - I think that many of the older crossdressers here are vicariously trying to recreate in themselves an image of femininity that they grew up with, but which is largely non-existent today. We have gone in one direction, and our wives and SO's have gone in another. The worst part of this is the additional tension that our crossdressing creates with our partners when we are seen as trying to compete with and looking better than them and in that way appearing to threaten their own innate femininity.

The inconvenient truth here is that many of them have rejected their "girly" sides willingly in their obsession with pursuing equality and competing with men, rather than complementing them and embracing and celebrating our differences. And so, we crossdressers create our own version of our "fantasy woman" to compensate for this loss...

[kendra_gurl]

Well, seeing as my SO has thought about dressing since he was a child, I don't think it has much to do with me. I just don't buy the whole "my wife dresses like crap, so I feel the need to fill the woman's shoes." If it's the excuse you use to help validate yourself and get your through the day then go for it. But, it's really kind of laughable.

I ask a simple question about MORE or LESS Never said anything about my "wife dresses like crap"

My SO and I have very different styles. I channel old Hollywood glamour when I am going out of the house...Bridget Bardot, Marilyn Monroe, Betty Page, and Dita von Teese are my fashion icons... Think red lipstick, cat-eyes, hot-rolled hair, and a bustier dress. His style is more...porn starish. Think lots of eyeshadow, bedroom hair, school girl skirt, and thigh highs. Camie's style is fine...to each their own. However, I laugh at the idea that she dresses like Pamela Anderson simply because I don't. I think she dresses like that because she likes the way she looks. I think I dress the way that I do because I like the way I look.

But, nah, that's too simple.


Perhaps, your wives don't dress up because they don't feel comfortable doing so. Maybe instead of putting them down with posts like this where you blame your own actions on someone else, you could start taking some initiative and some ownership of what you are doing...and, while you are at it, tell your wife that she is beautiful and conjure up a moment and tell her when you thought she looked her sexiest. MAYBE when less selfish actions are taken, you will see that your wife's confidence increases and she will start dressing to impress you.

I started dating my wife in Highschool when she was 16 married at 18 and have 42 years married now so don't you for a second think you know shit about what any of the talks or actions that have taken place over all these years. This Question in no way was putting her down. She is an adult and can do say or wear whatever she wants But just FYI on our wedding day my wife weighed 98 lbs and was 34/22/34
and was a cheerleader. Out of my respect for her I will not say what her measurments are today cause that is not what my question was about in the first place.

Yes I started crossdressing way before I met her again not the question. My wife would refuse to wear sexy lingerie even on special occasions like Valentines day when I gave it to her as a gift. Like most of us "older ones" here I had tried to stop dressing for a very long time after getting married but still wanted to be able to feeland see silky lingerie and stockings on my wife occasionally( not all the time) and her refusal to hurt.


But, all of that is way too simple of logic to actually work. It's much more logical to say you are a CD simply because she doesn't wear heels and a mini.

Riiiiight That is just very naitive of you to think that is what I am saying. but then you are still very young and from a different generation which explains a lot. Not that you are wrong or right just that you have a different opinion and while I agree with some of you comments in your second post you seem to still be under the false impression I am blaming all my CD'ing on my wife. Again I'm only suggesting it might make my need to dress up Less not eliminate it and you still seem to be thinking, perhaps from your own experiences, I do not compliment and put down my wife all the time. This is just not the case.

Leslie

Very well thought out and said. It shows how much more life experience us in the older group have

[Shananigans]

I ask a simple question about MORE or LESS Never said anything about my "wife dresses like crap"


I started dating my wife in Highschool when she was 16 married at 18 and have 42 years married now so don't you for a second think you know shit about what any of the talks or actions that have taken place over all these years. This Question in no way was putting her down. She is an adult and can do say or wear whatever she wants But just FYI on our wedding day my wife weighed 98 lbs and was 34/22/34
and was a cheerleader. Out of my respect for her I will not say what her measurments are today cause that is not what my question was about in the first place.

Yes I started crossdressing way before I met her again not the question. My wife would refuse to wear sexy lingerie even on special occasions like Valentines day when I gave it to her as a gift. Like most of us "older ones" here I had tried to stop dressing for a very long time after getting married but still wanted to be able to feeland see silky lingerie and stockings on my wife occasionally( not all the time) and her refusal to hurt.

That is just very naitive of you to think that is what I am saying. but then you are still very young and from a different generation which explains a lot. Not that you are wrong or right just that you have a different opinion and while I agree with some of you comments in your second post you seem to still be under the false impression I am blaming all my CD'ing on my wife. Again I'm only suggesting it might make my need to dress up Less not eliminate it and you still seem to be thinking, perhaps from your own experiences, I do not compliment and put down my wife all the time. This is just not the case.

Leslie

Very well thought out and said. It shows how much more life experience us in the older group have

Haha...first off, I have sat back and watched these kinds of posts over and over and they literally make my skin crawl EVERY TIME. Why don't you run this little argument past your wife and see how she feels about, if you think it is not offensive. While you are at it, remind her that she doesn't look like she did when she was 18. I'd love to see what she has to say in return about your appearances.

You may not realize how deeply cutting it is to women, but it is. You can play the whole card that I am young. However, your life experiences will always be different from my own, no matter what age group I fall into. Similarly, MY life experiences are quite different...and, being a GG, I can see where your argument just cuts to the core that you probably cannot see.

What your argument is saying to me is that you are filling the femininity that your wife is failing on by dressing more often. Is that incorrect? Because, that seems very cut and dry to me.

Again, I say that if you really want to help your wife and maybe have her dress better, you should change your attitude. She probably isn't very confidant. I know I wouldn't be, especially if my husband had the attitude that he was filling the feminine void that I was incapable of filling. She didn't wear the lingerie? Why? That's the big question. Why can't your wife freely feel sexy around a man that she has been with since high school? And, since you come off to me as being demeaning and I have only read two posts from you, imagine what it comes off as to your wife.

Again, I am trying to be critical and helpful. I am only 23, but I know very well what it feels like to be disrespected even if it is not direct.

After I hit menopause, I'd jump up and down if I was still 98 pounds (although my bones might not like this low of a weight) and do backflips if I still had those waist measurements. REALITY is that people change as they get older. Get over it. Stop comparing your wife to an 18 year old and start telling her she is beautiful as she is NOW. Maybe she'll want to feel sexy for you then...as it stands, I'm not sure I'd feel sexy either at her age...especially if I had to look like an 18yo cheerleader.

And, has probably been told all of her life that if she wears low cut tops and revealing clothes that she looks like a ****. (I know I have been told that all of my life. In fact, the shirt I wore today got a few comments by my girlfriends who asked me if I was trying to impress the professor. It felt bad...I'll probably never wear the shirt out again). She may NEVER really want to wear those clothes in public. Women have a way of telling each other what is acceptable and what is not, and she probably has formed her own opinions about that type of clothing. HOWEVER, I bet she would look sexy for YOU in private/around the house if you made her feel like she is more beautiful NOW than she was when she was barely an adult. Throwing lingerie at her won't work. Women are too complex than that. Again, I would bring up the dinner that you had where you thought she looked incredible. Tell her you have the hottest wife on the block. If she comes to bed in something that looks like Little House on the Prairie, playfully tell her that she can't hide the goods from you for too long! Next time you are out shopping and see something you would like to see her, tell her so. Say that she wouldn't make it out of the bedroom if she wore that for you.

FINALLY, I would NOT tell her that you dress more often because you want the sexy feminine factor in your life that she isn't providing. That would just make me feel...awful. I feel bad reading it. But, if it is completely casual to you and unoffensive, run it by her. Then, post back. I also know that your original question was about dressing more or less, regarding how sexy your SO is dressing. However, I just can't help but take a step back...wonder how your wife is feeling...wonder why this is going on in the first place...wonder why it is that you are doing this/saying this...wonder if your attitude is picked up on by your wife. And, that makes me want to take her side and every other GG's side that have been crapped on with these types of threads and just tell you all to stop it. Keep dressing, but leave us and our style out of it. If you want us to dress sexier, just say so...but, do it in a way that I'm not going to get mad as a hornet...do it in a way that will make me WANT to dress sexy for you. That's all.

[NicoleScott]

It started out as a simple question but has gotten much too personal. I re-read the OP and I did not see where the wife was criticized or attacked for not being more glamorous, but rather how the crossdresser felt about and reacted to the wife's more casual (less glamouous) makeup and dress. My wife used to make up and dress more (and more often) glamorously, but I don't complain to her about it. I still like glamour, especially overdone glamour, so I do it myself. As the OP noted, this may show how visual some males are. I'm certainly one of those visual males. Dressups just wouldn't be the same without a full-length mirror.
A while back a thread was started about the idea of not needing to dress up if the wife did. I was one of the few who agreed, in part at least, with the premise. There are certain things that excite me, and excitement can be experienced when being worn by me or others. Especially as I experience the normal effects of aging, it's easy to see how someone else could better present the glamour I love so much (than me). If that's where Kendra was going with this, I can easily see it. I love to make up and dress up. Could be that it's because no one does it for me, to some extent anyway. I can see how this approach would be totally irrelevant for identity dressers, and more likely to be true for pleasure dressers like me.
It is possible to answer this question without the personal attacks.

[Shananigans]

I apologize if I seem to be attacking. But, literally, if you read down the thread you will see where the thread manifests into attack on fashion sense and her attire. (Speaking in a general sense of wives/SOs). I should have been more general in my statement, and I do apologize to the OP for that. But, I just can't help but feel a bit miffed when I read these statements. I think the thing that is Never addressed is how the wife is feeling that causes a change in dress or a lack of dressing. Confidence and age are big factors, I feel. It's absolutely fine to CD as much as you want and dress sexy, but I just don't like the wife's sex appeal or lack thereof being a factor in it. It's fine if you want to sex appeal in your life and to dress more, but jeez...can it just be said that you like to look sexy...do we have to bring the wife's lack of sex appeal into it? And, if you are and attribute it as such, can you imagine how your SO must feel? Your confidence isn't so great, and your hubby is prancing around all tarty...probably with an attitude to match. And, if you aren't feeling great in your own skin, I could imagine that it really sucks.

[kendra_gurl]

FINALLY, I would NOT tell her that you dress more often because you want the sexy feminine factor in your life that she isn't providing. That would just make me feel...awful. I feel bad reading it. But, if it is completely casual to you and unoffensive, run it by her. Then, post back. I also know that your original question was about dressing more or less, regarding how sexy your SO is dressing. However, I just can't help but take a step back...wonder how your wife is feeling...wonder why this is going on in the first place...wonder why it is that you are doing this/saying this...wonder if your attitude is picked up on by your wife. And, that makes me want to take her side and every other GG's side that have been crapped on with these types of threads and just tell you all to stop it. Keep dressing, but leave us and our style out of it. If you want us to dress sexier, just say so...but, do it in a way that I'm not going to get mad as a hornet...do it in a way that will make me WANT to dress sexy for you. That's all.

Your argument makes perfect sence to anyone who is currently trying to get their wife or So to dress a little more feminine. What your reading into my OP is that I am trying to do that. That is not the case at all.

I have never ever said anything negative to my wife about how she dressed. I have accepted her the way she is for a very long time. Lots of things have contributed to the way she is that you have no way of knowing and its not revelant anyway.

The same as I have no clue about anything you and yours have done or said togeather. It just ticked me off for you to attempt to lump me into a generalization of what you think with no knowledge of me at all from such a simple question. You have made way too many assumptions in your responces that just are not me at all.

I am one of the most caring, giving, considerate, compasionate people on the planet. It has been over 20 years since we have had an argument over anything. I hope you are yours can say the same 20 years from now

[Shananigans]

Your argument makes perfect sence to anyone who is currently trying to get their wife or So to dress a little more feminine. What your reading into my OP is that I am trying to do that. That is not the case at all.

I have never ever said anything negative to my wife about how she dressed. I have accepted her the way she is for a very long time. Lots of things have contributed to the way she is that you have no way of knowing and its not revelant anyway.

The same as I have no clue about anything you and yours have done or said togeather. It just ticked me off for you to attempt to lump me into a generalization of what you think with no knowledge of me at all from such a simple question. You have made way too many assumptions in your responces that just are not me at all.

I am one of the most caring, giving, considerate, compasionate people on the planet. It has been over 20 years since we have had an argument over anything. I hope you are yours can say the same 20 years from now

And, I do apologize for the lumping. However, it really makes me think...in about 20 years, I probably won't feel as hot about myself. If my SO and I are still together at this time, will I be put off by her dressing very sexy? I dress sexy now because I like the way I feel...I want to look as good as I feel. I don't get put off by my SO's dressing, because I feel sexy too. But, what if I didn't feel so great about myself? What if she dressed kind of skankier more often when I just really wasn't feeling that great about myself? I could see it just really taking an emotional toll. What if I read that she was dressing this way because I DON'T? What if this was the attitude that was portrayed when we were together?

I'd probably never bring it up because I would think it is crazy to get jealous over such a thing. I'd keep it to myself even if my feelings were kind of hurt and I was feeling sh*tty about myself.

This may not have been your initial view or intention, but it begs the wives' view on such situations as yours'. Don't you think?

BTW: Congratulation on not having arguments in 20 years. I like a good argument to spice things up every once in a while (good for making up), but fighting the big fights are never fun.

[Stephanie47]

[QUOTE=Karren Hutton;2509274. Since I started dressing at 7, my tastes were set by what my mother wore and all women wore.. Dresses! Not jeans! Don't think my mother owned pair. And neither do I! Lol.[/QUOTE]

I am with Karren on this one. As a product of the 1950's and 1960's I wear dresses and heels. I also have a strong interest in sexy lacy slips. In the 1950's and 1960's girls and women only wore dresses and skirts. In public school girls were not permitted to wear pants. The only exception was on blizzard/extreme cold days, when girls could arrive at school wearing pants under their dresses and skirts. The girls had to remove the pants upon arrival. Boys could not wear jeans and tee shirts. We had to wear slacks and shirts with collars. In junior high we had to also wear ties. Of course, if you went to one of the local Catholic schools, you had to wear uniforms. Now get this for a fashion statement. On Fridays in elementary school and junior high school there were assemblies every week. We had to wear either navy blue slacks or skirts, white shirts or blouses, and red ties or scarfs. The principal read from the Old and News Testaments. There was the Pledge of Allegiance; singing of the national anthem, etc. Stores were closed on Sundays or they were fined. All this was in New York City. I know I digress, but, that was how it was back in the dinosaur age.

As to whether or not I dress en femme because my wife does or does not dress "adequately" enough for my personal taste, I had cross dressing tendencies before I met her. When we were dating and first married she weighed 110-115 lbs and was 5'2". She was sexy. She still has the most beautiful expressive eyes. Her mode of dress reflected the times of a 20 year old. She wore short dresses and sexy undergarments. She wore slinky lingerie. She was "HOT." We shopped together for her. I bought her clothing for the appropriate occasions.

Gradually she gained weight. She knew it. I knew it. When I made positive comments about it, she became defensive. My only concern was her health. Now at 5'2" and 180 lbs the weight has caused her many physical aliments. Of course, she changed her wardrobe to try to hide her weight. She began wearing long 'granny' dresses. Ugh! When she switched to slacks or jeans with brilliant tops, I thought she looked great.

When I worked in a government office, many of the younger women dressed unprofessionally. Some dressed like slobs. Why didn't the manager talk to the women. Oh, she dressed inappropriately.

I do not wear a dress and heels (Right now a two inch above the knee white with black accents dress with black and white heels) to compensate for my wife's lack of wearing a dress. I wish she still had the figure to wear an attractive dress like she use to wear. But, it is more so it would reflect a healthier body.

That being said, I think how my wife wore her clothes when we were first married may have rekindled my interest in cross dressing. No! I am not saying my wife turned me into a cross dresser.

Absence did not even make the heart grow fonder. Before being married I was in the army. When living with guys, being in the infantry in Nam, etc I did not even think of cross dressing. I never thought of it. Of course, back in the 1960's and 1970's to be a cross dresser was to be a 'faggot.'

So, to answer Kendra's inquiry, I do not dress now to make up for my wife's lack of wearing short dresses and high heels. My interest in cross dressing over my married life has increased because.........???? Hell, I don't know!

[kendra_gurl]

I think we are getting on the same page now. I am so glad to hear that you personally feel confident to dress sexy as I'm sure your So appreciates that you do.

Yes I am sure over the years my wife has felt bad and even jealous at time that I can transform myself into a look that she has difficulty in doing herself. We talk about this from time to time but she is content to be COMFORTABLE in her style so I accept that too.

Perhaps this might be a good oppertunity for you to ask your SO if he would feel any different if you were not the way you are right now to avoid it happening in the future

[Shananigans]

Perhaps this might be a good oppertunity for you to ask your SO if he would feel any different if you were not the way you are right now to avoid it happening in the future

Oh, I definitely know this is true. I am working my way to a size 4 to 6. (And, I am happily on target to reaching this goal). I've lost 20 pounds since March. I started dressing waaaaaaay differently. My SO has always said I was beautiful no matter what, but I have noticed differences in what he says and how he acts around me. The other day I wore a sundress, red lipstick, and high heels to the movies and he was waiting on me to get out of the bathroom. When we got to the car, he said, "I was looking around at the other girls in the theatre...I was just like, 'Yep, that's MY girl...isn't she hot?'" I loved it and wanted to dress up more often. I used to say a lot that my style was about comfort...and it was...comfort in that I didn't want to be sexy because I didn't feel sexy. I was a little jealous too that my SO was the same weight but didn't look overweight. I never said anything to demean her because I knew it was my issues. But, things changed after I widdled down in sizes. It felt great that he thought I was beautiful BEFORE and was excited about my NEW look. And, he was always saying so...it probably helped give me the confidence to reach my goals because he knew that I could all along.

Anyway, I see both sides of the fence...

P.S. he also started dressing MORE sexy as I started dressing sexier. Kind of opposite to what is posted on this thread, but funny..

[Stephenie S]

One thing to remember in all this is COMFORT. Most of that stuff you want your wife to wear is uncomfortable. Lacy panties are no where near as comfy as cotton ones. Pushup bras are uncomfortable. Sexy nightgowns end up all bunched around your waist. Looks you get from other women when you wear a low cut top are uncomfortable. Whistles, catcalls, and pinches (Yes, pinches. Right in line at the convenience store) you get from guys when you dress kinda ****ty do nothing for your self esteem.

Women want (and have a right) to be comfortable.

Do you wear a three piece suit with matching silk tie and handkerchief, crisp white dress shirt, polished shoes, and nice jewelry? (very sexy, BTW) Are you always clean shaven and fresh from the shower? (very sexy, BTW) I'm willing to bet that you don't dress that way much if at all.

Most real women don't dress that way. Most real women don't WANT to dress that way. Mostly we just want to get on about the business of living our lives, loving our husbands, and taking care of our kids.

Stephie

Oh, to who ever posted that link to WWHM, I loved it. Kinda one sided though.

S

[BRANDYJ]

I am not married to my SO but we are life-mate just the same. Her manor of dress has never effected the way I dress. now her opinion on what I wear does! I like to dress to please her when she is around. At one time, she went through my wardrobe with me and had me throw out things she did not like on me. i was more then happy to do it to please her. As for what she wears making me want to dress more...I can't say it does. But as I've mentioned in other threads, just her being around me makes me want to dress more. For now due to family obligations she lives 1,200 miles away. You'd think I have all the time and freedom to dress as often as I want, baring the fact that I have a female roommate that does not know. But her absense from my everyday living only depresses me and I have little desire to dress. It's been this way with me most of my life. When I am with the woman I love, I want to dress more. But for those times I was alone and not in a relationship, my dressing desires seem to wane. Shows how different we all are in our need to dress.

[kendra_gurl]

.

Women want (and have a right) to be comfortable.

Do you wear a three piece suit with matching silk tie and handkerchief, crisp white dress shirt, polished shoes, and nice jewelry? (very sexy, BTW) Are you always clean shaven and fresh from the shower? (very sexy, BTW) I'm willing to bet that you don't dress that way much if at all.



Totally agree with the logic of this for everyday and while I was trying to keep my OP question very simple I failed in my attempt to say I was talking about even sometimes for special occasions. Even when it is givin as a present

[t-girlxsophie]

I married my wife for her personality,her warmth her beauty,her sense of humour and a whole host of reasons,It wasnt dependant on what she had in her wardrobe or what way she dressed,she could wear a binbag and it wouldnt make one iota of difference to how I feel about her.If anyone used what their SO wears as a basis for any lasting relationship they are frankly off their heads

[kendra_gurl]

If anyone used what their SO wears as a basis for any lasting relationship they are frankly off their heads

I think most everyone feels the same way about why they married who they did. So please tell me.Where did this comment come from? This thread has nothing to do with what they wear as a basis for a lasting relationship.

[Amanda22]

Kendra, interesting topic. In written communication, I think it's wise to not read between the lines and this thread is an example of what can happen. If not trying to fan the flames. We need to take what we read at face value and if we suspect more, then ask the OP. I don't for a second think you're making your SO responsible for your dressing, but I can see how someone could interpret it that way. As you said, you know what goes on in your relationship and no one else.

I must say that if my wife dresses less femininely on a particular day, it doesn't affect my dressing at all. On the other hand, if she wears something particularly attractive it will inspire me to try something similar. Even seeing a photo of a feminine outfit will inspire me.

[Gaby2]

Nice query Kendra.
It has provoked fascinating responses
although I'm a little confused and somewhat exhausted
from trying to follow and remember amap.
:confused3:

Personally I'm affected by everything anyone says.
That goes especially for my SO to whom I confided my cding before we entered into our relationship.

She has a strong opinion about various aspects of my cding - she wants me to look good.
Me too, of course.
Sometimes she is simply embarassed for me which I can understand.
Lots of what I wear isn't fashionable, horrendously out of date, and I couldn't care less whether it is comfortable or not.
My claiming that the element of feel-good is more important sounds very hollow when she is around.

My SO critisizes me in a caring and truthful but sometimes hurtful way.
That doesn't matter too much because I am only grateful that she takes plenty of time to listen to my reasoning and motivation.

BTW my SO is concious of her appearance in a balanced and healthy way.
She is mostly stylish, at times super-sexy, and she will only wear what fits.
We have a shared passion for heels.
At home she isn't afraid to don old hand-me-downs, if it suits her mood,
but they also seem to work well on her.

I'm beginning to realise that my closet keeps me connected with the past, to a time when cding meant shame and fear of being busted.
I hope I can eventually purge that crap!

I am changing - and for the better as we both see it.
Interestingly, she is too, I'm glad to say.
Mutual growth that includes my cding is very new for me.

Gaby

[StephanieC]

I don't want my SO to feel that she has to look or act a certain way just for me. I want her to be what she wants to be. After so many years, I think I understand what her preferences are and those are different than mine. Through the years, I have made suggestions (along with my daughter) for changes but they are not usually taken. That doesn't mean she's not stylish: it's just a different style.

[L'eggs n' heels]

When I met my second wife, it was 1994 and women still dressed like women for the most part. She worked in an office and regularly wore dresses and skirts with pantyhose and high heels, tasteful make-up too. If I had a woman who dressed super femme, I would probably dress up a little less, but I could never give it up completely. These days most women dress like male truck drivers, and girls like us are the only ones keeping a great tradition alive.

[NicoleScott]

It may be that those of us who get some level of excitement from the clothes, whether ours or our partner's, may be more likely to be affected by the partner's dressing up (or not) than those who are driven to dress predominately because their internal feminine identity.

[betty1253]

My wife dresses like an old army buddy. She has a camo t-shirt that says "show me you ticks" which I won't let here wear outside with me. She used to dress to the nines but that was a long time ago.

This does not have any bearing on my dressing. Actually I would really enjoy us being more girly together.

Betty

[Jane G]

I think I tend to copy my wifes styles. Dispite the fact that I was crossdressing for several years before we met at school. We both have very similar tastes in clothing. Infact I choose a lot of her dresses when we are out shopping. The one area we differ is she loves jeans and I don't even own a pair.

[Vickie_CDTV]

My former and I shared the same taste in clothes, which was quite unique given out age gap. Whether she dressed or not didn't effect whether or not I wanted to dress, but I absolutely loved how she looked regardless. However, my great admiration of her made me want to dress like and emulate her (I suspect in that regard I am unique and am the only one here who felt a desire to dress and emulate their wife/girlfriend, is there anyone else?)

When I first met her she used to love dressing up, but as the years went on she dressed up less and less. She didn't want to stop dressing up, she said she got tired of the constant catty comments and attitude from other women (even some her age) so she did it less and less and now she seldom wears a dress or a skirt. A real shame, as she was a woman who really did enjoy dressing up as a proud, elegant women just as women did when she was young.

...So in effect both of us rarely dress up due to society's attitudes toward us. What irony!! :Angry3:

[kendra_gurl]

It may be that those of us who get some level of excitement from the clothes, whether ours or our partner's, may be more likely to be affected by the partner's dressing up (or not) than those who are driven to dress predominately because their internal feminine identity.

Well said Nicole. and as I said in the last line of my OP, the male identity in us has always been such a visual beast. I have always said and continue to say my dressing and the manner in which I dress is more representative of my admiration OF femininity than me feeling feminine

[Lorileah]

How my wife dressed and now how my SO dresses has no relation to how or why I dress.

First I don't think being Bobsie twins is a real good look. My wife looked great in dresses and skirts but maybe because I didn't compliment her enough or just because like most women she went to what was more comfortable for her, she wore slacks most the time. The highest heels she had were 2". My SO now is more fashion conscious but we don't agree on what is sexy usually. She is almost exclusively in heels and wears skirts and dresses 75% of the time. But I like short skirts and flirty strappy heels. She likes the more rugged modern look.

Neither one effect(ed) my dressing. I have a fashion sense of my own and it worked out well for my wife because she hated shopping and fashion. I dress the way I would ( I assume) dress if I was a woman in whatever situation I was in.

[kendra_gurl]

I'm beginning to realise that my closet keeps me connected with the past, to a time when cding meant shame and fear of being busted.
I hope I can eventually purge that crap!



Gaby your whole post was very interesting and I'm so happy for you that your wife is still very stylish. I quoted this one line however to say I too seem to be connected to the past with my dressing but not in the same sense as you .
I know there will be some here who think what I am about to say is terrible of me but its the truth. I can dress and look very similar to the way my wife looked 42 years ago when I married her. I'm not putting her down. I don't ever say anything negative to her about what she wears or how she looks. Our relationship is great and I know ALL the various reasons for the way she and I both have changed in 42 years. Still For me, part of what drives me to dress the way I do is an attempt to capture an era gone by in OUR past.

[kendra_gurl]

How my wife dressed and now how my SO dresses has no relation to how or why I dress.

My SO now is more fashion conscious but we don't agree on what is sexy usually. She is almost exclusively in heels and wears skirts and dresses 75% of the time..

Interesting Lorileah. Amoung all her other qualities your attracted too, would you consider your SO's way of dressing rather than the way your wife changed to as part of what attracted you to her at first?

[Melanie Sykes]

I loved to dress before I ever met my wife. She's doesn't wear very feminine things as often as I'd like, but I'm not sure whether if she did, I'd have more or less of an urge to dress. I used to tell myself (before I came out to her) that I dressed because she didn't, which wasn't really fair on her. Her mum brought her up to wear sensible shoes, unfortunately for me. Happily though, since my coming out, she wears skirts and heels more often, and although I really appreciate how she looks in them, I can't help but feel jealous too, wanting to wear them myself. So on balance, I don't really think it affects my desire to dress, no.

[ReineD]

Kendra, you bring up an interesting question: how does a wife's style of dress affect the CDer's?

Like Shenanigans, I too initially felt you meant that if the wife dressed better or was sexier, then the husband would need to dress less, implying that he might fulfill his own need for the femininity that is lacking in his wife. :sad:

But then I read your post again, and saw that you also asked the reverse: if the wife were a knock-out dresser, would this make a CDer wish to dress even more?

Both of your scenarios describe different CDers. The first is a man who loves TO BE AROUND femininity and sexiness and if his needs are met by the women around him, he will be happy .. although I agree with Shenanigans that such a CDer might still want to dress in a sexy manner even if his wife dressed up too. The second is a man who wants TO BE the feminine and sexy woman and is triggered to do so every time he sees one. This would be a CDer who is confident in his femme looks.

Here is another scenario you didn't bring up, and it would be interesting to know if any members here feel this way: the CDer who does not like it when his wife is sexy and alluring, because then he compares himself to her and it takes away from his own thunder. This sounds like a case of sour grapes, but I don't look at it this way. I've often read threads in here from CDers who do feel depressed when they see beautiful women, because they feel they would never be able to look like them, no matter how much makeup or how stylish are the clothes they wear.

This is slightly off topic, but I just wanted to throw it in. :p

And now for another type of CDer, here's a personal anecdote reflecting something that happened between me and my SO:

To put this in context, I do want to mention that I am 5'9" (6'1" in 4" heels) and a size 8. I'm one of the lucky ones (I put it down to genes) who has retained my 20's figure. I'm not bragging here, just saying. It comes from my maternal grandfather's side: tall, fair, and thin. :) When my SO and I were beginning to go out to nightclubs dressed a lot, I initially just wore blue jeans and a black satin shirt. I'm in my 50s. I had not gone out to alternative clubs before and was not at all "into" the lifestyle of the looks. LOL I had no clue.

I quickly discovered that my SO's eyes were popping out all over the place over all the sweet young things with their cascading bleach blonde hair, wearing their off the shoulder tops, and short, short skirts. The average age in this one particular place is under 30. I felt dowdy, matronly, and was jealous as all h*ll because I felt I could not compete with women 25 or 30 years younger than me. I actually stormed out of there one night for a brisk walk around the block, just to bring myself back to center. :rolleyes: Again, this was at the very beginning of our relationship when I discovered just how much my SO was into how women look and I mistook this for a preference of these young girls over me.

Anyway, I decided to go for REVENGE. :devil: I bought this skimpy little purple number, tight around the body, cap sleeves, cowl neck, and with a flirty skirt just a few inches below my bottom, that I wore one night with a push-up bra, thigh high black boots and the sheerest of sheer black nylons. :D. In other words, I looked like what my mother would have considered to be a "skank". LOL. My eyes were done up very smokey, my hair also cascaded around my shoulders (it is very straight, haven't started graying yet, and there is lots of it), and well, I got a lot of admiring glances. :D I also got an odd reaction from my SO, and it was, "Well, it isn't "you", but you are certainly entitled to wear what makes you feel good, after all I do, so if it makes you feel good then go for it." Not, "Wow, you look so hot!". LOL.

So, here is your fourth type of CDer: the CD who is into high fashion or style, and not necessarily into night club sexy wear, and who feels slightly embarrassed when her SO tries to look like a 25 year old, even if she has the body for it. :) :) :)

(Gosh, I hope she doesn't read this, LOL)

[Lorileah]

Interesting Lorileah. Amoung all her other qualities your attracted too, would you consider your SO's way of dressing rather than the way your wife changed to as part of what attracted you to her at first?

not really, but she did dress like I dress at the beginning. She is also sexy and hot and I am none of that :) I really didn't see how she dressed for over a year before we physically met. The pictures she sent were in jeans Because she was with her horse enthusiast friends) so when I did meet her the first time it was a LBD, thigh highs and heels. Maybe it helped seal the deal but we were already on the path :)

And funny thing is I remember the outfit my wife wore when I first met her too...turquoise jacket and miniskirt with white heels. Now THAT was a deal maker. I loved the outfit and the legs

I also remember my first wife's outfit when I met her, Tight shapely with a pin-tag on her right hip that said "Tigger" and 4" heels, bunny ears and a little cotton tail....I miss getting that tail

[Gaby2]

Gaby ...I'm so happy for you that your wife is still very stylish...
...Still For me, part of what drives me to dress the way I do is an attempt to capture an era gone by in OUR past.
Reine has me reeling again... but I'll try and concentrate on your interesting positive take on my moaning!

My stylish SO and I are in a fledgling relationship, having only met last year about the same time I joined the forum and started confiding my cding to some close, exclusively female friends.
My SO and I have tried to move together a few times but it hasn't been right just yet.
She is seven years younger than me, although in maturity-terms about twenty-five years older.
I want this relationship to work so much, and we're both giving our best - cross-fingers, it's going well so far!

My Ex has and always had a natural beauty which I still love with all my heart - it's still very distressful for me that my cding threatened her so much that it compromised this very "naturalness".
After being busted by her twelve long years ago, our relationship never had a real chance of recovering.
Other normal life-complications arrived and although we have always supported and unselfishly helped each other to cope, it just wasn't going to work anymore - mea culpa. Our two perfect daughters bond us eternally, of course (I'm crying a little).
I moved out three years ago, just before our eldest daughter hit puberty and I last year pushed the divorce against her will through - I believe it was the right thing to do. She looked great the day before yesterday - but we'll see!

I don't think my cding was compensating for something which my Ex didn't give me.
I have thought this at times but experience here on the forum has made me aware that there are multiple and much more important reasons (also new ones) why I love cding.

I find your dressing in the style of your young wife a beautiful hommage to her which expresses your love for her in the most personal way possible, Kendra.
She is very lucky to have found you.

:love:Gaby

[kendra_gurl]

So, here is your fourth type of CDer: the CD who is into high fashion or style, and not necessarily into night club sexy wear, and who feels slightly embarrassed when her SO tries to look like a 25 year old, even if she has the body for it. :) :) :)

(Gosh, I hope she doesn't read this, LOL)

I am that 4th type of CDer with one exception. It is my SO whom I sometimes embarrass by being a 60 year old trying to look like a 25 year old even when I can create the body for it.
Even the Home Depot Paint department can't mix enough foundation to take that many years off my appearence.

I do feel I need to explain that my OP was more about How I felt 42 years ago when we were 18 and 17 years old. Then how style changed to the "quote more comfortable mode".

[Erika_bagels]

Kendra, you have an interesting point. My wife also doesn't do much more than jeans and t-shirt, and usually goes without makeup. She used to be very girly, makeup, fun coordinating, girly outfits, but then they stopped fitting, so she kinda gave up on buying new clothes. She refuses to go to Lane Bryant (although they make sexy outfits that are perfect for her), and since the baby's been born, I'm excited that she's just painting her fingernails. I can't ask for much these days, and now that you mention it, this is when Erika started to surface as more than just an idle curiosity.

Now I don't know if I do it because it's who I am, or out of a need to see something in particular, or both... :/

[kendra_gurl]

She refuses to go to Lane Bryant (although they make sexy outfits that are perfect for her), and since the baby's been born, I'm excited that she's just painting her fingernails. I can't ask for much these days, and now that you mention it, this is when Erika started to surface as more than just an idle curiosity.

Now I don't know if I do it because it's who I am, or out of a need to see something in particular, or both... :/

Erika that is a very brave statement. I understand completely what your saying. Its not that we do not love our wives and understand the circumstances that can and do change all of us with age. It's that we as CD's in our attempts to recreate the look we enjoy sometimes miss seeing our loved one in similar fashion This is not purposely trying to put them down. It's just one more thing that makes up part of what we are

[kendra_gurl]

I find your dressing in the style of your young wife a beautiful hommage to her which expresses your love for her in the most personal way possible, Kendra.
She is very lucky to have found you.

:love:Gaby

Thank you Gaby. I have to admit my wife gets very jealous of me at times and is always making some comment how she would love to wear what I'm wearing if she still had the right figure for it.
If she only knew how much pain a real tighlaced corset causes after a few hours:battingeyelashes:

[Erika_bagels]

I think there has to be more to it than that, though, cos when I come right down to it, I feel sexier, personally, en femme than anything I've ever worn or done with myself en butch.

[audreyinalbany]

My wife was never a vamp, but she stopped wearing short skirts and sexy clothes years ago, even before the kids were born. We're in our mid- fifties now and she is still an incredibly attractive woman, but she doesn't believe it. She has a terribly negative body image (always has, even when young); she thinks she's too fat, she's got too much cellulite, breasts are too small, too many chins, etc. Not a sexy dresser. I've bought her lingerie in the past which simply ends up in the drawer. She dresses in what I'd characterize as the typical middle-aged Mom. Cotton tops, capri pants. I find thats pretty much the stuff I dress in as well. I'm more inclined than she to wear a skirt, but only when weather permits pantihose or tights. Interestingly enough, she asked me a couple months ago if i consciously try to dress like her. I don't, but I do try to blend in with middle aged women...

[Erika_bagels]

My wife was never a vamp, but she stopped wearing short skirts and sexy clothes years ago, even before the kids were born. We're in our mid- fifties now and she is still an incredibly attractive woman, but she doesn't believe it. She has a terribly negative body image (always has, even when young); she thinks she's too fat, she's got too much cellulite, breasts are too small, too many chins, etc. Not a sexy dresser. I've bought her lingerie in the past which simply ends up in the drawer. She dresses in what I'd characterize as the typical middle-aged Mom. Cotton tops, capri pants.
It's the same here. It's like you were talking about my house. Are you outside my window?

[5150 Girl]

My SO's attire is not connected to my dressing, as for me, dressing is about putting somting somthing right taht went horribly wrong at birth....

[Kendra Sue]

kendra_gurl, My wife has always been a great dresser and an expert at makeup. If I got one thing from her it was how to use makeup. I would say our tastes in clothing are not the same

[Valerie1973]

My SO is not very fashion savvy at all. She dresses very simple, Capri's simple knit tops. That's it. If she was more "Chic" and was a fashion diva like those women on "The Real House Wives of Jersey" I'd probably have more of a desire to dress. My desire has been flat lately and it is because of her. One, she doesn't support, two, maybe because I like to fancy myself in ladies garments she has no fashion sense. I'm always encouraging her wear dresses, I just love a woman in a dress. I'm one who believes clothes make the woman. But she says, " Here we go again about the dresses!" She hates pantyhose and I hate neckties. However, she can still be "chic" and girly at times. She loves to wear makeup and nail polish. She's a good girl and I still love her. Peace

[Shananigans]

If she was more "Chic" and was a fashion diva like those women on "The Real House Wives of Jersey" I'd probably have more of a desire to dress.

lol I just can't help but say that those women wouldn't know fashion even if Marc Jacobs walked up to them and punched them in their noses. They have a style...I don't know if I would call it fashion though.

Exhibit A of Disaster:

[dilane]

lol I just can't help but say that those women wouldn't know fashion even if Marc Jacobs walked up to them and punched them in their noses. They have a style...I don't know if I would call it fashion though.

Exhibit A of Disaster:

Oh dear. I don't want to look, it just might "cure" me!!!

[kimdl93]

A couple of comments. To the OP about how my SOs dressing affects my dressing. I would say in a positive way. I do tend to emulate her style in my own. She's sales manager, so of neccessity she generally in business attire or perhaps business causal, I suppose. She buys a lot of clothes at Cold Water Creek, and I have gotten several of my outfits there as well. In the evening, its usually casual lounge wear, but we both like wearing sexy lingerie on date nights.

[kendra_gurl]

Exhibit A of Disaster:

Never watch that show but from that photo It looks to me that at least 3 of them could be mistaken for crossdressed males