Mary Lee
06-03-2011, 05:16 PM
I know I am defiantly a cross dresser but for many years I have wanted to live full time and maybe have SRS.
I met the secound time with my I met with my therapist early today. Last time we met I told her I would under dress for the next meeting. This time I wore a leisure bra with forms 38C, plain black female t-shirt, a panty brief girdle to keep everything in place, female jeans, and guy’s diabetic shoes. That is the way I left my house, but I had a baggie male shirt on top which I took off when I got in the meeting room. No problem feeling out of place while driving. I told her I dressed as I said I would last time and she said something like I see and how did that make you feel on your way here and I told her normal. I like feeling my boobs when I turn the steering wheel and I asked her if GGs like that also, I do not remember her answer.
We talked about my life as a child, like how I was treated by my parents and how was school. I told her about my female desires when I was pre kindergarten. That when I was in Jr Hi School I tried on my mother’s cloths that did not fit. That my brother would steel girdles from a local discount store and when I found his stash I would borrow items and ware them to help me feel more girly; so it appears my brother was also a cross dresser although we never talked about it. I told her that my mother told me after my father died that he wore her night gowns several times when they first got married and about one time at a Christmas dinner my dad, 63, said he would just as soon ware a skirt to work. Appears we had 3 secret MTF cross dressers in the family.
That if it was acceptable like it is today back in 1965, and knew what I know today I would have worn female cloths to the induction center and told them I was gay, that I did not believe in killing, and then gone to Canada and lived as a female. I told her that when I got out of the service I married within 6 months and that I feel I should have found myself then and that I would have more then likely lived as a female and had SRS. Also that when I traveled on business I would buy female undergarments and ware then while in my hotel room and pitch the garments on my way home. I had already told her that when I divorced that I had purchased a complete wardrobe and that I also had many girlfriends, so I enjoyed girls as much as dressing. I now live with my daughter and her husband.
I told her I have vary little interest in women and only check them out to see how they dress. I also said I find myself checking out good looking men.
I told her that I have lately been having deep internal emotionally struggle with what to do because I feel I want to be a female but I do not want to ruin what I have. Yes I have read all the other posts about friends and family.
I am feeling better now that I have someone to talk to all this early today. Last time we met I told her I would under dress for the next meeting. This time I wore a leisure bra with forms 38C, plain black female t-shirt, a panty brief girdle to keep everything in place, female jeans, and guy’s diabetic shoes. That is the way I left my house, but I had a baggie male shirt on top which I took off when I got in the meeting room. No problem feeling out of place while driving. I told her I dressed as I said I would last time and she said something like I see and how did that make you feel on you way here and I told her normal. I like feeling my boobs when I turn the steering wheel and I asked her if GG like that also, I do not remember her answer.
Conclusion, she told me I am defiantly transgender, excuse the expression, and that I am a lot more female in my mine and somewhat body then male, that I have been living with an internal struggle most of my life, and we need to talk about that next week. That there is no reason that I could not go on hormones and SRS at my age, 64, if that is what I want to do or just live as a female, or some ware in between.
I am feeling better now that I have someone to talk to about all this. :)
I met the secound time with my I met with my therapist early today. Last time we met I told her I would under dress for the next meeting. This time I wore a leisure bra with forms 38C, plain black female t-shirt, a panty brief girdle to keep everything in place, female jeans, and guy’s diabetic shoes. That is the way I left my house, but I had a baggie male shirt on top which I took off when I got in the meeting room. No problem feeling out of place while driving. I told her I dressed as I said I would last time and she said something like I see and how did that make you feel on your way here and I told her normal. I like feeling my boobs when I turn the steering wheel and I asked her if GGs like that also, I do not remember her answer.
We talked about my life as a child, like how I was treated by my parents and how was school. I told her about my female desires when I was pre kindergarten. That when I was in Jr Hi School I tried on my mother’s cloths that did not fit. That my brother would steel girdles from a local discount store and when I found his stash I would borrow items and ware them to help me feel more girly; so it appears my brother was also a cross dresser although we never talked about it. I told her that my mother told me after my father died that he wore her night gowns several times when they first got married and about one time at a Christmas dinner my dad, 63, said he would just as soon ware a skirt to work. Appears we had 3 secret MTF cross dressers in the family.
That if it was acceptable like it is today back in 1965, and knew what I know today I would have worn female cloths to the induction center and told them I was gay, that I did not believe in killing, and then gone to Canada and lived as a female. I told her that when I got out of the service I married within 6 months and that I feel I should have found myself then and that I would have more then likely lived as a female and had SRS. Also that when I traveled on business I would buy female undergarments and ware then while in my hotel room and pitch the garments on my way home. I had already told her that when I divorced that I had purchased a complete wardrobe and that I also had many girlfriends, so I enjoyed girls as much as dressing. I now live with my daughter and her husband.
I told her I have vary little interest in women and only check them out to see how they dress. I also said I find myself checking out good looking men.
I told her that I have lately been having deep internal emotionally struggle with what to do because I feel I want to be a female but I do not want to ruin what I have. Yes I have read all the other posts about friends and family.
I am feeling better now that I have someone to talk to all this early today. Last time we met I told her I would under dress for the next meeting. This time I wore a leisure bra with forms 38C, plain black female t-shirt, a panty brief girdle to keep everything in place, female jeans, and guy’s diabetic shoes. That is the way I left my house, but I had a baggie male shirt on top which I took off when I got in the meeting room. No problem feeling out of place while driving. I told her I dressed as I said I would last time and she said something like I see and how did that make you feel on you way here and I told her normal. I like feeling my boobs when I turn the steering wheel and I asked her if GG like that also, I do not remember her answer.
Conclusion, she told me I am defiantly transgender, excuse the expression, and that I am a lot more female in my mine and somewhat body then male, that I have been living with an internal struggle most of my life, and we need to talk about that next week. That there is no reason that I could not go on hormones and SRS at my age, 64, if that is what I want to do or just live as a female, or some ware in between.
I am feeling better now that I have someone to talk to about all this. :)